by Rico, Lauren
He straightens up long enough to unbuckle his belt and loses his pants in one swift movement. It’s dark in the room but the moon casts just enough light through the windows that I can see his briefs. Then, they’re gone too, and he’s crawling onto the bed and over me. He kisses me gently now, more sweetly than before. I don’t even notice that he has hooked his thumbs into the waistband of my tights and is tugging them off. I instinctively arch up so he can slide them over my hips. The panties come with them. And then he’s gone, following them down the length of my legs and finally separating them from my body. He tosses them to the other side of the room and I giggle.
My breath is faster and shallow now in anticipation of him taking me. Taking. Who says that? Well, Mila did. And now I do, too. Because I get it now. I’m his for the taking, and I want it. Oh, do I want it. But Jeremy knows exactly what he’s doing and he obviously has no intention of rushing, no matter how much either of us wants this to be quick and dirty.
Back at the foot of the bed again, he doesn't climb up as I expect. He takes one of my ankles in each of his hands and pulls them apart slowly. Then he helps me to bend them up at the knees. I feel a sudden rush of panic. Oh, God. Really? Is he really going to go there? It isn’t anything any of my previous lovers were especially interested in and, quite frankly, I’m not that comfortable with the notion of it myself.
I struggle to sit up but he holds my legs down firmly.
“Jeremy, you don’t have to…”
“Shhhh…” he says, looking up at me from between my legs with a lascivious smile.
“I have just ascertained that you are, indeed, a natural redhead, Julia James.”
“Jeremy, really, let’s just…”
“Please, I’ve got work to do down here,” he admonishes. And before I can protest further he has my knees draped over his shoulders and I can feel his breath on my sex.
I want to let go so badly but this is just so… intimate. Ugh. Of course it’s intimate! I feel so out of my depth.
My internal conflict is cut short abruptly when I feel him pull my folds apart softly and snake his tongue all the way up.
“Oh. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God…” The words fly from my mouth involuntarily. I didn’t know...
He licks again, following the same path but this time stopping just short of the spot that makes me want to scream.
“I want you to make me scream.”
Even as I whisper the plea, I can feel my face growing scarlet with my own boldness.
He looks up at me, and for the briefest of moments I’m afraid he’s going to laugh at me. I close my eyes so I won’t have to see him if he does.
But he doesn’t.
“Yes, ma’am,” he whispers into the darkened room.
And then he’s there again and I can feel him everywhere all at once. He nibbles on my thighs and gets close, oh so close. He uses his tongue to trace an outline with painstaking softness that makes the pressure in me mount. The torture is exquisite. I feel his fingers on me again, opening my most intimate side to him and I think he’s about to put me out of my misery. But there is no pressure at all. Just… What is he doing? I can hear him, now blowing gently.
“Ohhh….” I groan, with the sweet exasperation, as he excites me without giving me any relief.
“What’s the matter?” he asks with mock concern.
“Jeremy… I don’t think I can…”
Before I can finish he dives his tongue back in and starts to slowly circle me. It is maddening. Around and around. Almost making contact with… but no. So close. I can feel the pressure building, and then it quickly subsides as he pulls back again.
My breath is starting to quicken as I begin to lose control of my own body. With eyes still closed, I rock my head from side to side. My mouth feels so dry; I have to lick my lips. My hips twitch slightly, a not-so-subtle invitation for him to continue. Why has he stopped anyway? I open my eyes and he’s watching me intently from between my legs.
God, he’s so hot. He won’t drop his eyes from mine as he renews his contact with just the lightest tip of his tongue. Not enough to bring me any satisfaction... just enough to get me more bothered. Yes, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
I’m whimpering now in my frustration and it’s time. He pushes my thighs apart roughly, obscenely wide and buries his face in me, nibbling, sucking and circling every square inch.
“Ughh….” I’m moaning now, and it sounds sexy, to even my own ears.
Jeremy’s assault grows vigorous as he finds the spot that makes me writhe around him. There’s no controlling myself now, but he holds me firm, swirling and sucking with enough pressure to send mounting waves of pleasure through me.
“God, God, God. Jeremy...” I’m getting louder.
And then he pulls his face away. I start to whimper, thinking I will weep, literally sob if he leaves me like that. But he’s only gone for an instant. He quickly pumps two fingers inside of me while working his thumb in fast, firm circles. I can feel his eyes boring into me as my head tosses from side to side on the pillow, beads of sweat on my forehead as I clutch and ball the sheets around me.
“Now, Julia. Come on, honey. Come for me.” It’s an order. A demand. He rubs me harder and faster.
“Yes! God yes! Jeremy…” And there is the scream. I can feel myself spasm around his hands and know he’s watching my body writhing in its first unapologetic orgasm. Slowly he lets up the pressure and speed but continues his internal and external stroking until I’m shuddering from sensitivity. He crawls up next to me on the bed. I should be mortified, lying splayed out like that. But I’m too ecstatic to care. Never have I ever felt so much, so fast, in my entire life.
“Jeremy, that was…” I can’t even get the sentence out before he’s on top of me. Literally on top of me. I hear the rip of foil and realize he doesn’t mean to waste any time. He bites my neck hard at the same moment that he plunges himself into me.
I gasp with the exquisite pain and sensitivity. He’s so big. So hard. So…
I can’t think. I can only feel.
He has my knees pulled back wide again and he moves in and out slowly while he kisses my shoulders. I didn’t think I could take even a second’s more stimulation, but he feels so amazing inside of me. Slowly, oh so slowly, he starts to pick up speed.
How on earth does he have so much self-control? Every other guy I’ve been with can barely hang on for five minutes after we get right down to it. He’s holding my hands up on either side of my head now. I try to pull them away to touch him but he holds firm and that is sexy as hell. I’m starting to breath hard along with him.
“Julia,” he whispers in my ear. “Julia James,” he says again. “You hear me? I’m reminding you now, because by the time I’m done fucking you, you’re going to forget that’s even your name,” he says with a snarl that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.
And, just like that, I’m on the fast track again.
“Please…” I murmur.
He stops all movement suddenly.
“Please what?” he asks, staring at me now, still pinning my wrists above me.
I pause for a long moment.
“Please fuck me.”
I don’t have to ask twice.
He plows in with a renewed vigor that has us both grunting with every rough thrust.
Again and again and again until, without warning, the most intense wave of pleasure that I have ever felt washes over me. I can feel him come inside me at the same moment. He holds me down tight until the last tremors have subsided from my body and I can open my eyes again. He rests his forehead against mine.
In that moment I know I am his, totally and completely. I will do anything this man wants for as long as he will let me.
It may not be love exactly, but it’s pretty glorious anyway.
14
Somewhere, in the distance, my phone is ringing. It stops for a few minutes, and then starts again. I groan and pull a pillow over my head, but it
just won’t stop. A squint at the alarm clock tells me it’s close to ten. A squint in the other direction tells me that I didn’t dream the handsome man sound asleep in my bed.
I try not to wake him as I extract myself from the warm sheets. I have no clue where my robe is. I seem to recall wearing it at some point last night but the way clothes were flying around this place it could be anywhere. I spot Jeremy’s T-shirt on the floor and throw it over my head as I move out to the hallway, closing the bedroom door quietly behind me.
Of course my cell phone is silent now and I have no idea where it is in this room. I turn over a few cushions and look under some papers. Nothing. I’m about to head back to bed when it rings again. I follow the chirping sound to the vicinity of my discarded skirt on the floor.
Aha! I glance at the screen and see that it’s Matthew calling. I’d rather not take it, but I have a feeling he’s not going to stop until he gets me. And if he can’t get me, he might just hop on a plane and head home. So not worth it. I answer.
“Hello?” I ask in a scratchy voice.
“There you are!” he says, a little loudly for my sleepy ears. “God, do you ever check your messages, Julia?”
“Matthew, please, I’m fine. I’ve been living in the practice rooms and you know the cell reception there is awful. Please don’t be upset…”
I hear him take a breath. When he speaks again, he’s considerably calmer.
“No, I’m sorry. I was just worried because I thought you’d be at the practice rooms all night. But then, when you didn’t leave the apartment, and you didn’t answer your phone or your texts…”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I stop him, pressing my palm to my forehead as if it will somehow help me to process. “How did you know I didn’t leave the apartment all night?”
Suddenly Matthew has nothing to say. And suddenly, my conversation with Cal is making a whole lot more sense.
“My Orbit? That was you?”
Guilty silence.
I want to be angry, to be indignant about the violation of my privacy, but I can’t. I know him well enough to know that there’s love behind his neurosis.
“Do you know how insane that is?” I ask him softly. “Matthew, why would you want to track me on my phone?”
“I don’t think it’s insane at all,” he says defensively. “It’s one thing when I’m home, Julia, but when I’m away, I worry about you. Worry that something might happen to you.”
“Like what, Matthew? What do you think is going to happen to me?”
“I don’t know. Like maybe you could get mugged or hurt or…” his voice trails off.
“Or that I might spend time with someone else?” I finish the thought for him.
His silence is the answer to the question.
“You know, you don’t have to spy on me. You can just ask.”
“Okay, so, are you… spending time with someone?” he asks.
“Maybe. Yes, actually.”
Long pause.
“Oh. I see. Well I’m sorry if I interrupted your date, Julia,” he says softly, his voice dripping with disappointment thinly veiled as sarcasm.
“Matthew, wait…”
“No, I’d better get going. I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Stop it! Please, Matthew, can we just start again? Come on; let’s talk about you. Tell me how the tour is going,” I coax.
He clears his throat. I know he feels silly now, and is looking for a verbal olive branch. Finally he finds it.
“Well, you know Ingo Katz, the bassist? He’s touring with us so we can do the Schubert Trout Quintet. Apparently he has a groupie.”
“A groupie?” I snort. “Seriously? There are actually women out there who stake-out concerts to see a double bass player?”
“Who said it’s a woman?”
This time I get it right away.
“Oh, wow!” I laugh. And just like that– just like always- we’re back to our old selves.
“Where are you headed next?”
“Boston. Then Philly. Hopefully home after that but I’m not sure. It’s not like this all the time, thank God. This tour will wrap-up right around New Years.”
“Ah! Just in time to see me take the cello division at the Kreislers!”
“Oh. Is that still happening?” he asks, teasing me.
I feel better hearing him lighten up a little.
“It is, and you’d better be here to cheer me on, mister!”
“Like I’d miss something that important.”
“Hmm. Well, that still gives you plenty of time to get your own groupies!” I tease back.
“Not quite,” he laughs. “The viola just doesn’t have the same kinda sexy that the double bass does.”
“So true,” I say in mock agreement.
There is another long pause and I can tell he’s working up to something. I can guess what.
“So… who’s the guy? Anyone I know?” he asks tentatively.
“Maybe. But I don’t want to talk about it till you get home. This may have run its course by then.”
Matthew hates Jeremy’s brother, Brett. Unfortunately, that puts Jeremy pretty high on his shit list, just by association. I’m not going to tell him about this until I’m absolutely certain there’s something to tell.
He sighs heavily on the other end of the line.
“You know I...” he starts.
“…Worry about me. Yes, I do know. And I love you for that. Tell you what, let’s make a phone date for when you get to Boston. I’ll get a glass of wine, curl up on the couch, and you can fill me in on everything. It’ll be just like you’re home.”
“Yes. I’d really like that,” he says. "Oh, hey, before I forget, how’s the Rachmaninoff coming along?”
“Oh, much better. I think I’ve finally got it figured out.”
“That’s wonderful!” he says, and I can hear that he’s genuinely happy for me. “So it’ll be that and the Bach.”
“Yup. If I win that, then the medal round is a month later.”
“This is some exciting stuff, Julia. I’m really proud of you.”
“I’m proud of both of us Matthew. Seems like all the things we dreamed about are starting to come true.”
“Well, not all of the things…”
Ughh. He makes me crazy.
“You know what, my friend? You should seize this opportunity to have a fling.”
“A fling?” he echoes incredulously.
“Yes, a fling. A one night stand. Go get laid.”
Now he snorts. Loudly.
“I’m sorry, did you just tell me to get laid?”
“I did.”
He lets out a belly laugh that I haven’t heard in ages.
“Oh, oh God,” he says when he finally catches his breath. “You have no idea how bizarre that sounds coming out of your mouth.”
If only he knew the kinds of things that have been coming out of my mouth lately. He’d be stunned.
“Bye, Matthew. Love you.”
“You too. I’ll talk to you in a few days.”
I end the call on my phone, and try not to think about how I’m going to explain all this to him when he gets home.
15
Jeremy is still sound asleep when I slip back under the covers next to him. He’s lying on his side and I snuggle tight against his back. I’m starting to doze off again when I feel his hand come around behind him and stroke my leg.
“Good morning,” he says groggily.
“Good morning. Did you sleep alright?”
He rolls over now and I adjust so we are face to face on our respective pillows.
He smiles at me sleepily.
“Oh, yes. I could stay in this bed all day.”
“Then why don’t you?”
His dark eyebrows rise.
“Why, Julia James, are you asking me to spend the day in bed with you?”
“Maybe,” I say coyly.
He gives me that wicked smile of his.
“Nope. You’re
not a mouse. If you want to do it, you have to say it.”
I shake my head, suddenly feeling shy again.
“If you want to do it,” he says again, slower this time, “you have to say it.”
I take a long, deep breath and roll over on top of him, wrapping my body over his, so that my face is barely an inch from his. I lock my eyes on his.
“I want you,” I say in a whisper.
“You want me to what?”
“I want you to make love to me all day long.”
His arched eyebrows shoot-up ...and so does his erection.
“Well then. I’m all for giving a lady what she wants,” he says as he grabs me and flips me underneath him in one fluid movement. As he kisses me, he pushes my wrists up over my head.
“Though, I have to admit I’m more partial to fucking than lovemaking. Do you think you can work with that?”
I nod. I’ll take whatever it is he wants to give me. I try to pull my hands free so I can touch him but he tightens his grip.
“Uh-uh,” he says, dropping his mouth to my breast. “Don’t you dare move an inch.”
Until this very second, I hadn’t realized how much I have wanted exactly this. For someone to take control and make me feel, make me experience, make me love against my better judgment. How ironic that his control makes me feel free.
He suckles first one breast, then the other. I sigh with the pleasure of it.
Now he’s kissing up my neck, nuzzling behind my ears. “I want you so much,” he whispers in my left ear. Then he moves to the other side, nibbling the lobe of my right ear. “I’m not going to let you out of this bed all damn day.”
Again, I try to wrest my hands away from his grip. I want to pull him into me.
Suddenly he stops.
“What did I just say?”
I smile up at him sheepishly but he’s not amused. I clear my throat and try to look contrite.
“You told me not to move an inch.”
“Hmmm. I don’t like to be disobeyed, Jules. Do I have to tie you to the headboard?”