by Lila Felix
She gave a berating sound before saying, “Not if you consider the source. I’m gonna call you soldier. After all, cowboys don’t listen to gossip.”
Cowboys were the biggest gossipers of them all.
I breathed out a sigh that held everything I’d been holding in my gut over the last few days since hearing about Garrison and the will.
“Tell me what you want me to do, Grammy. I can’t even think straight when I’m around her. She’s infuriating and beautiful and bullheaded and…”
“I can’t tell you what to do. Wait, no, I can. Don’t be an idiot. You have never been. You know Hero. A tree can’t change its roots.”
I sat there in silence while she got up, patted my head and went inside. The door shut behind her and inside I heard the bustling sounds of Hero and her getting into trouble.
There was nothing I could do. There was no reason why my best friend would lie to me about a thing like that. And the proof was in the pudding. Hero had moved Garrison into her house. She moved him into her house. They walked together in the places we walked. They played in the places we had played. They probably…I didn’t want to think about it anymore. There was nothing I could do. She had given herself to another man – my brother of all people.
I knew it would’ve been hard to wait for me, but she didn’t even try.
Grammy’s words pulsed between my temples but I knew what I had been told. Somewhere in my mind, it even made some sense. They had always been good friends. He had always made her laugh. They were friends. Friends become lovers. That was the way of life, wasn’t it?
I got up and dusted off the back of my Wranglers before knocking on the door. I waited with my arms crossed over my chest and my heart. There was no way this was for anything but show.
“Hey, Ranger. You ready to go?”
Before I knew it, she was in front of me. The light filtering in from her living room put a halo around the top of her head that told my heart I belonged there. She was gorgeous from head to toe. Her hair was up. I would always ask her to wear it down for me. I used to love when she would lay next to me and her hair would fan out over my chest and arm. She was everything I’d wanted.
Too bad she’d given it all to someone else.
Chapter Seven
Hero
SITTING IN RANGER’S truck wasn’t uncomfortable, but it didn’t feel right either. The last time we rode together was when I dropped him off at the train station to leave me. The faint music of George Strait played on the radio and I stared out the window watching as the scenery whipped past my eyes.
I watched Grammy and Ranger from the window as they talked on the porch. I didn’t get to hear what they were saying but he looked perplexed through the last bit of it. Knowing Grammy, she was throwing out some of her wisdom. More than likely he didn’t understand it. She had a way to say things in a complex manner instead of just saying it outright.
The parking lot was full as usual. This place was the most popular eatery in the county. It’ll be perfect for everyone to see us together. Then again it will add fuel to the gossip grapevine fire too.
“Ready?” He sighed. Apparently, he was as excited as I was about this faux date.
“Sure.” I reached for the door handle.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Are we eating in the truck? I’m certain they don’t deliver to the parking lot.”
“You know what I’m talking about, Hero.”
Rolling my eyes would seem appropriate right now, but it excited me knowing he wanted to open the truck door for me. He jumped out of his side and came over. I hopped out landing on the side of my boot heel. Causing me to stumble. Ranger grabbed my arm to steady me. Our bodies were close.
Too close.
“You okay?”
“Fine.” I lied. I wasn’t okay being this close to him. All of the feelings I was hiding bubbled up to the surface. I quickly stepped back from his hold. “I’m hungry.”
“Right. Sure. Yes.” He rushed out his short blunt words and we began strolling through the lot until we reached the door.
I hesitated for a second. This was it. If we walked into the restaurant, this would mean I was really doing it. I was going to put myself deeper into this outrageous arrangement. I could do it for my grandparents and the ranch. The steel wall was tightly in place. He held the door open for me, lightly placing his hand on the small of my back. I felt myself shiver from his touch.
The hostess seated us at a table in the middle of the room. He pulled the chair out, and I did my best to gracefully sit down even though my knees were knocking together. His touch had sent me into a hazy daydream of what we had before.
“Do you want alcohol or something else?” he asked.
I couldn’t let my senses be under the influence of alcohol. “I’ll just have a sweet tea.”
When the waiter came over Ranger ordered our drinks and my favorite appetizer. I stared at him in disbelief. He remembered? He remembered something I enjoyed.
“You hate spinach.” I reminded him.
“But you love those weird spinach puffs.” He didn’t look up from his menu as he spoke.
“Thank you,” I kindly said before opening my own menu.
We quietly gazed over the laminated pages trying to figure out what to order. Although when you came here to eat, you ordered the steak. It was their specialty.
“Well, look what the dirty stray cat brought in.”
My stomach dropped as Jacob’s voice came up behind me.
“Hey, Jacob, what are you doing here?” Ranger looked up at his friend.
“Trying to see if this chick will put out if I buy her dinner.” He nodded over to the brunette at the corner table.
“Maybe I should warn her about who she’s having dinner with?” I growled and turned my head up and glared at him.
“Do you mean a charmingly, handsome man?” His smirk made my stomach turn.
“No. I will tell her you’re an evil, conniving jerk who thinks of only himself and no one else. Oh and I can add liar in the mix.” My eyes narrowed as did his. I wasn’t going to let him get to me. I would kick his butt all over the restaurant.
Jacob opened his mouth, but Ranger stopped him. “We’ll catch up later. Go enjoy your date.”
He and I continued our stare down before he broke the connection, nodded to Ranger and walked away.
“I hate him.” I went back to the menu but my stomach wasn’t hungry anymore. I lost my appetite.
“He’s my friend.”
“Sucks to be you.” I mumbled around my sweet tea.
“He’s been there for me.” He glared at me.
“Maybe others would be too – if you let them.” I was becoming angry. I had been there for him, but he didn’t remember those times like I did. It became clear to me that I cared more than he did.
The waiter stepped up to our table and took our order. Although I wasn’t really hungry, I ordered the biggest steak they had. I was going to make Ranger pay anyway. We continued our silent treatment until the food arrived.
“Do you remember the first time we came here?” Ranger cut into his steak.
I added more butter to my baked potato and tried not to smile. “We thought we were grown up.”
In truth, we had no clue what we were doing. Ranger had saved up to bring me here for my sixteenth birthday. I was almost intimidated by the fancy cloth napkins and numerous silverware pieces. I had never been somewhere this fancy before, but he made me feel better. We may have been a couple of kids but together we could conquer the world.
At least at that time, I thought we could.
“I asked for the wine list.”
The smile grew on my face. “The waitress thought you were nuts.”
“And I thought I had to pay for the bread.”
I giggled. “You even asked her why it wasn’t on the bill.”
“I didn’t want the police called for stealing bread.” He popped a steak fry into his mouth
. “I remember what we did after.”
I snorted and almost choked on my steak. “We went to the store and bought a pint of ice cream. We had to use our fingers.”
He chuckled. “We shared everything back then.”
I slowly chewed my meat. “We did.” I paused and swallowed down my food. “I guess we were young and dumb.”
He nodded. “A lot of time has passed.”
“Yep.” I went back to the food on my plate. A lot of time has passed and it mostly involved lonely nights for me. I missed him. Over the years, the pain turned into determination to wait for him. Seeing him sitting across from me, I didn’t know what I was doing. Memories flooded me and what would bring happiness to me, at one time, now burned my heart. He doesn’t even realize how shattered he left me.
“Is your food okay?” Ranger asked breaking me from my thoughts.
“I’ll need a box.” I pushed the plate away and leaned back in my seat. This was a mistake. I couldn’t keep the steel walls over my heart for long. Especially when my memories keep tearing at me.
“Are you finished?”
“Yes, that’s why I said I need a box.” I checked my phone. “It’s getting late and I have a lot to do tomorrow.”
“It’s barely eight.” His perplexed look mocked me. He knew I was lying.
“Sorry, some of us aren’t lucky enough to be on vacation.” I waved down the waiter and told him we were done.
Ranger shook his head and pushed his plate away. “I’m not on vacation. I’m here because of Garrison.”
I closed my eyes. Right there he said it. He may not have said the words out loud, but the tone was there. He didn’t care about me. He didn’t want to be here with me. It was for the money and once he had it he’d be gone. Just like before. I’m fidgeting with the cloth napkin as he paid the bill. I rushed out of the restaurant and waited by the truck for him. When he came out he opened the door for me, but again we didn’t talk.
As he pulled up in front of my house I was about to jump out of the truck, but Ranger locked the doors and reached over to cover the unlock button, making sure I wouldn’t get out.
“Will you stop?” He ordered me.
“I’m not some animal you can command. I’m a person,” I shouted at him making it echo in the truck cab.
Ranger sighed and leaned back a bit. “I don’t want you to forget your food.”
“Fine.” I jerked it out of his hand. “Thanks.” I yanked on the handle but his question stopped me.
“What happened?”
“What? When?”
“What happened to you?” His question was low and close to my ear.
He couldn’t be this close to me. The smell of his cologne made my knees weak. His voice made my breathing become erratic. “You.”
“Huh?”
“You are the reason I’m this way. It’s all your fault.” I shoved my shoulder into his chest, knocking him out of the way, and quickly ran into my house before the tears fell.
ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT led me to drink two cups of coffee before I could even start the morning chores. I fed the chickens first before saddling up Donut and heading out to check on the cattle. Wallace is already in the pasture breaking up some hay for the cows.
“Morning, Hero.”
“Hey.” I jumped off Donut and pulled a bale of hay off his truck.
“How was your date?”
“Crappy.” I cut the strings of the hay and went back for another bale. “I realized this is going to be tougher than I thought. I need to tell Ranger this isn’t going to work and I’ll just figure out something for the ranch.”
My brother grabbed my wrist to stop me. “I know it’s hard for you, but maybe you should try.”
I furrowed my brow. “Excuse me, weren’t you the one who was telling me not to do this? I’m pretty sure we had a conversation about this.”
“I know you love him.”
I gasped. “No, I don’t love him. He broke my heart. He’s the reason I’ve been alone for the past ten years. He’s the reason I can’t trust another man. He’s the reason for all my pain.” I shouted louder than I’ve ever done before. I jumped off the truck and ran as fast as I could to Donut and rode him hard. I wished I could ride him until the pain and tears went away, but that would be an endless ride.
Chapter Eight
Ranger
SO THE DATE hadn’t gone as planned – not even close. If I was asked to explain where it all went wrong, I would say from the moment she got into the truck.
She was still the girl who had once held my heart. We had shared so many things. The least we could do was hold a conversation for more than five minutes without having a darn argument.
Apparently not.
I didn’t know how to act around her. My hand kept wanting to slide across the table and take hers, but that wasn’t allowed anymore. My eyes kept admiring the way she’d changed over the years and the ways she hadn’t.
She twirled the fork over and over in her nervousness.
That much I knew.
The next morning, I really wanted to talk to Jacob and get some information about Hero. Something inside me wanted to have those things verified in person, by him and by her. I don’t know why I wanted to punish myself, but I did. I wanted every detail he knew.
Except this morning, I didn’t have time to find out.
I had to talk to her, even if I had to talk to her back.
There was no time for me to get coffee or anything else to sweeten the conversation we were about to have.
“Good morning. Planning on coming in or are you just going to write a note and throw it over the gate?”
I adjusted my hat for no other reason than to give myself time not to punch Hero’s brother in the teeth.
“Wallace, what’s gotten you twisted up this morning?” If I was honest, Wallace used to be one of my friends too. It was inevitable since Hero and I was always together and he played football with me in high school. But hating Jacob ran in the family and so any time we had hung out it had been minus my other friend.
“Did your time traveling around waste away your manners? Even Idiot Ian walked her up to the door like a gentleman. He certainly didn’t drop her and run like a coward. What the hell is wrong with you? What happened? You used to be the only guy I could ever see my sister settling down with and now I’m wishing you would piss me off a little more so I could cold-cock you right here.”
Wallace never cold-cocked a man in his life.
“Wallace, as soon as I got here, she ran for the hills. There was nothing I could do. One minute she was in the cab of the truck and the next minute I was watching the door slam. You know her. Once she gets ticked off about something, there’s no talking to her. I had to let her cool down.”
After a few minutes of trying to keep a straight face, he crumbled. “Well, whatever you did, she’s still pissed this morning, and it looks like you forgot the sugar.”
I hadn’t brought anything to get her talking to me again. On second thought, I didn’t have to. She was the one who ran off without even telling me why.
“Yeah, well, I’ll just have to rely on my good looks.”
Wallace opened the gate and waved me in. “Like I said, you should’ve brought sugar or at least coffee. Good luck.”
I walked through and he locked the gate behind him, obviously done with whatever chores for the day.
“She’s back by the pond with Donut.”
“Okay.” I made my way to the barn to get one of the other horses.
“You’re pushing your luck getting a horse without permission.” Grammy’s voice scared the pants off me.
“I’ve been riding this horse since I was a kid.”
“But that’s when you were family. Not family anymore. Sure as heck don’t act like anyone we know.”
I should’ve known that Grammy knew all about the night before.
“Mind shedding some light on what I did last night? I’ve been over it but I’m no
closer.”
She cackled and the horses made noises, almost laughing along with her.
“Best to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”
That’s exactly what I intended to do.
The pond was about a fifteen minute ride. By the time I got to her, she would either be more pissed off than ever or soothed by the rhythm of the ride.
“You like beating a dead horse, don’t you?”
That was her greeting to me. I wasn’t sure how she knew it was me. Probably knew from the gait and steps of the horse. I didn’t think her brothers rode this one.
“We have to find a way to get through this pain and at least be able to have those last two dates. We made a promise.”
She cleared her throat. “Promises don’t mean anything to you, Ranger. I’ve seen the way you stick to promises.”
“I could say the same for you. How long did you hold out, Hero? A year? Six months?”
She said nothing which explained everything to me.
“I didn’t come to talk about all of this. The past is gone and buried with my brother.”
“A lot of things got buried with your brother.”
“Like your heart?”
The words had barely left my mouth when she dismounted the horse and marched toward me, fists balled at her sides. “You listen and you listen good, Ranger. You have no clue what happened while you were gone. You’ve been getting your news from a sleazy snake in town. The thing about you is you still haven’t looked me in the eyes and asked me what really happened. The person who was your best friend and your…for so long. I was once the one you trusted most in the world. Then you go off to who knows where and decide all of a sudden that I’m the liar.”
Now I was pissed beyond reason. I got down and tied up the horse, afraid it would run off from the yelling and commotion because in about two seconds there was going to be some serious yelling.
“You know good and well where I was, Hero. It’s not like I was in New York City eating pizza and going clubbing. I was in the desert, fighting for my country and fighting to keep my life at home stable at the same time. So don’t act like you didn’t know where I was or what I was doing.”