The image of Sarah, her hair unbound, bare to her waist came to him and his body tightened in anticipation. He took a deep breath and examined his reflection, noted how his pants bulged in front, and willed his body to relax. This was going to be hard enough without giving his bed-shy bride reason to believe all he wanted was to fall upon her and make passionate love to her.
Even if that was all he wanted to do.
Of course, his well-intentioned concealment of his desire had already led to one misunderstanding when she’d accused him of not really being attached to her. He still couldn’t believe she’d thought him capable of faking lust to lure her into a false marriage.
In the mirror he watched his jaw clench and eyes darken with anger. What kind of a man did she think him to be?
She thought him a beast...because that’s what she’d been told he was. As fast as his anger came it fled, gone under the weight of how serious the problem was before him. It had been years since he’d seen that vid-clip and, taken out of context, the words he’d spoken damned him as the most callous of enemies. Anyone who’d seen it would have found him someone to hate.
Sarah had seen it and lost someone she cared about. Little wonder that she’d started out their relationship by slugging him. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. It was the same face he’d seen every day in the past five years, the hair only somewhat longer, the eyes the same dark-blue. Only his expression had changed. Sarah’s presence in his life had forced a change to his face, a lightening of his normal moods. He’d smiled more, actually laughed occasionally. He’d stopped scowling, felt happiness in the fact that once again he wasn’t completely alone in the universe. Now he had Sarah, assuming he could keep her.
If she left him he’d be devastated.
He ran a hand though his hair. Maybe if he changed the color, made it shorter--would that change his appearance? Change it enough so that when Sarah looked at him she didn’t see the sneering face of the man who’d callously informed her that her friend was gone.
Suppose he told her the truth? If she knew, would that make a difference? His reflected eyes lit with the hope that threaded through him. Yes, it probably would and then he’d be certain to keep her.
He’d told Bethan that it was better that Sarah follow her heart and love him in spite of her misconceptions, that their marriage would be stronger for it. Now he wasn’t so certain.
A knock came from the door behind him. Answering he found Sarah, dressed in the same outfit she’d worn when he’d first seen her in the assembly hall, right down to her fuzzy slippers.
He couldn’t hide his smile, nor stop his hand from cupping her cheek. "It seems to me I’ve seen you like this before."
She blushed, her face nearly the pink of her footwear. "I didn’t think to bring anything else to wear at night."
He laughed. "Sarah, I can’t imagine you in any other sleepwear...except for maybe nothing at all."
The pink in her cheeks brightened and her breathing grew faster. It was all he could do to release her face and not lean in for the kiss he wanted to give her. Even if she would accept it, it would be better not to.
No more kisses for now, not if he was to continue his role as chaste bed-companion this night. He might have a strong will, but kissing her would blow all his good intentions into the depths of space.
Instead he stepped aside and left the sanitary to Sarah’s use, taking his clothes with him to put away.
* * * *
She was in VERY, VERY big trouble. She’d thought Garran in his claiming clothes had looked good but nothing had prepared her for his sexy smile and the top of his chest peeking above the deep V-neck of his sleepshirt. The coarse curly hair seemed to invite her fingers to explore them and the feel of his palm on her face had left her confused with wanting.
That she’d seen a similar want reflected in his eyes hadn’t helped at all.
Quickly she used the sanitary and cleaned her face before returning to the bedroom. All that was left was to unbraid her hair and brush it out before retiring. Untying the end, she ran her fingers through the braid, freeing the bright red strands to fall about her shoulders. It was down to her waist in length, and needed this daily brushing to keep it from tangling.
As she worked, Garran sat next to her on the bed. "Please, I’d like to do this," he said, taking the hairbrush from her hand.
"Brush my hair?"
"Yes. It looks so alive, I’d like to touch it."
It was too harmless a request to refuse. She let him finish untangling the long strands with his fingers then apply the brush. He did it right, started at the bottom of the hair, and worked his way up to her scalp, brushing long and carefully, not snagging at all.
She watched his face in the mirror on the wall as he lifted the long strands, letting them fall over his fingers. Quiet wonder was in his expression. "I’ve never seen anything to match this beauty. The color is amazing. Bethan had it right, it is the color of Earth flame roses."
Her breath caught in her throat and she could say nothing. She sat quiet, letting his attentions wash over her, make her feel cared for. Not since her mother had died had anyone brushed her hair--not that this was anything like that had been. In Garran’s hands the brush seemed to make love to her as it stroked her, and she’d never experienced anything as sensual
When he was done, she took the brush from him and held it close to her, her emotions unsure. "Thank you, that was...very nice."
There was something in the smile Garran gave her that she felt right down to her tingling toes. If he’d been anyone but who he was, she’d have leaned over to kiss him. As it was--Sarah re-braided her hair and put away the brush.
When she turned to him, he was sitting on the left side of the bed, leaving her with the right. She looked at him. "I don’t want to have any misunderstanding here. All we share is the bed, right?"
Garran patted other side of the bed. "Sarah, you can trust me."
Pulling the covers back Sarah shrugged off her robe and slippers and slid into the bed next to him. He turned off the lights and lay down.
The sounds from the next room had ended sometime ago, the cleanup from the party over and the people gone.
She and Garran were alone for the night.
He rolled toward her and caressed her shoulder. It was a light touch, not seeming to ask for more than just contact. She turned to search his face. What she found was concern and care, desire but not lust.
"It’s all right, Sarah. I only want to hold you, I ask nothing more. Is there a problem with sharing my bed?"
Was there a problem? Only the one of him being a handsome man with a touch that could almost make her forget her antipathy for him.
Almost. But he wasn’t asking for more than she’d given before, to hold her as they slept. She nodded her acceptance and let him draw her closer, turn her so her back nestled into his chest, their legs entangling under the covers.
She felt his body quiet, and he began to breathe deeper. The soft brush of his exhalations warmed the back of her neck, relaxing her. Strong arms cuddled her close and she gave into the feeling of safety they offered. She closed her eyes and slipped off to sleep.
* * * *
Warmth behind her, the solid feel of someone with her, her mystery lover holding her close. Purring, Sarah leaned back into that warmth. There was a difference--she could smell him now. The musky scent of a man filled her senses, clean and enticing. She sought that smell, turning in his arms to bury her nose in the solid mass of his chest, the coarse hair tickling her mouth and cheeks as she nuzzled him. He felt so real!
As if having a mind of its own, her tongue wiggled out to taste him. He had a special flavor, salt with a hint of bitterness. Why would her dream man be bitter, she wondered? Perhaps she could sweeten him up. She licked him again and he gave a low growl that rumbled under her lips. Shifting his weight he ran large hands along her back, sending tingles along her spine, tingles that screamed "MORE!".
She gaspe
d at the sensation and seized his shoulders, pulling herself up to nibble his neck, catching even more of his sweet smell and bitter flavor. She reveled in how, for once, her dream lover wasn’t the one in control and the sense of power was intoxicating. He moaned under her assault of lips and teeth, his hands clutching at her bottom, rubbing their centers together.
His arousal felt full and hard against her belly.
Her mouth rounded his chin and found his lips, full, soft, and waiting for her. Kissing him became a game for two, lips melding and tongues battling for possession. Ecstatic, Sarah delved deeply into his mouth. Finally she’d found the sweetness she’d craved.
They were still kissing but he was over her now, hands no longer on her back but running up and down her front, molding themselves to her breasts, full and aching under her gown. His thumbs found the sensitive tips and stroked them through the fabric, and she squealed into his mouth.
One hand moved lower, found the bottom edge of her gown, slipped beneath it, pulling it up. His palm slid along the inside of her thighs, stroking, urging them apart and then she felt his fingers gently glide along her nether lips, seeking passage through the folds to her core.
At the first stroke her body leaped then Sarah gasped and broke away from the kiss, the sensation more than she’d ever dreamed of before. She opened her eyes in the darkness of the room and saw the dim, indistinct face of the man above her, his midnight-blue eyes staring down at her, filled with joy. He smiled and whispered, "Sarah mine."
It wasn’t a dream--this wasn’t her mysterious and unknown lover. General Garran was making love to her, his hand even now taking possession of her most private places.
"NO!" She screamed the word, putting her hands on his chest and pushing with all her strength. "No, no, no.…"
He pulled his hands from her, allowed himself be pushed away, let her slid out from under him to the edge of the bed. Overwrought, body screaming to continue what they’d begun, Sarah curled up with her back to him and gave in to a flood of tears.
Helpless Garran watched, his own body in a riot over their aborted lovemaking. What had happened? He’d woken to her sensual assault on him, her licking his chest like an alderdeer at a saltrock. Any idea of not responding fled when she’d nipped his neck. The woman had been making love to him, yet now she was sobbing like a child.
Sweet Gaia, what was going on?
He’d never done well with crying women. Trying to calm his own body’s dismay, he took several deep breaths before reaching over to stroke Sarah’s back. She stiffened at his touch and he pulled away.
"I’m sorry, Sarah." His helpless feeling grew. "I wouldn’t have...I mean...." He scrubbed the back of his neck.
Her sobbing died away, leaving her breathing ragged, as torn as his emotions. "It wasn’t...you...I was dreaming.…"
"Dreaming? About what, who?"
She managed to stifle a sob or two. "I have dreams about...being with someone. A man."
"A lover?"
She nodded, her face still turned from him. "Yes."
Fury arose, that someone else had held her and left her dreaming of him. Some man had possessed Sarah before...he’d known it all along, but hated to have it confirmed this way. "Someone you knew on Earth? Why didn’t you stay with him?"
She straightened out and sat up. Smoothing the gown over her knees she seemed to collect herself as well. When her gaze met his it was cool. "He doesn’t exist, that’s why."
Now he was confused. "You were with a lover that doesn’t exist?"
"I’ve not been with a lover at all. I’m still...well. I’ve never found anyone I could stand long enough to go to bed with them."
This was not possible. "You’re from Earth. You can’t tell me that you haven’t.…"
"I can and I do. If you want proof look at the medical tests they ran when we came on board. There is a way to tell, you know," she said wryly.
Of course he knew, but he couldn’t believe that this beautiful woman was still a virgin.
She must have read his disbelief. "I guess it does sound strange." Sarah drew her knees up under her gown, rested her chin on their top. She looked as alone and lost as a little girl and he ached to put his arm around her shoulders and comfort her.
"I’ve never been comfortable with strangers touching me, men in particular. It’s odd too, because when the dreams started the man was a stranger. He resembled no one I knew."
"These are ..." he fumbled for the word. "Erotic dreams?"
Her face softened, became wistful. "Yes, erotic. He’d touch me, hold me and I’d like it. Sometimes he’d put his hands.…’ She blushed. "Where you had yours."
"You’d dream about this? What did he look like?"
She had a dreamy smile and Garran would have given anything to be the reason for that smile. "He’s large. Much bigger than I am, bigger than most Earthmen. Muscular, strong. His hands seem huge to me, but he’s very gentle. I love his touch. I feel his lips, his breath. I was dreaming of him tonight but I could smell him, taste him." She stopped, flustered.
"It wasn’t him tonight, but me." Garran fought the jealousy that raged through him. Her kisses had been for someone else, a phantom. "What else do you know about him?"
"Dark hair. It’s like yours but shorter."
"His eyes, nose? Tell me about his face, Sarah."
She flushed again. "I’ve never seen his face. I mostly remember his hands."
"What?"
"He’s behind me, or I’ve got my eyes closed. I’ve never dreamed of his face."
Garran shook his head. "It sounds like an attachment dream. Sometimes our young women can have them, when they’ve seen someone that appeals to them. Often the man who attaches to them resembles the dream. But they usually focus on the face, not the hands." He combed his hands through his hair, trying to straighten it out. "I have the right color hair, and the hands."
"It couldn’t have been you."
Sarah’s adamancy infuriated him. It wasn’t bad enough that she’d undone his best intentions. He’d been totally under control until she’d kissed him. Now he could barely keep his hands off of her.
"I didn’t say it was me. You aren’t a Gaian woman so there’s no reason for you to be having attachment dreams. You’re probably just dreaming about some holo-vid star and blocked out his face."
Anger stiffened her spine and her eyes flashed at him. "I was NOT dreaming of a holo-vid star. I’m not a teenager with a crush."
"No, just a frustrated virgin who dreams about a man she can’t have. Why not pick someone you could?"
"Like you?"
"Like anyone. Tonight couldn’t have been the first time a guy ever touched you."
"I said it was and I don’t lie, General."
"Garran--you promised you’d use my name."
"You promised you’d keep your hands to yourself."
"That was before you started squirming around like a quezzle in heat!"
He heard her outraged gasp before her pillow hit him full in the face. For a moment he grasped it in his hand, fully intending to pummel her with it. Fortunately the com-link sounded and he dropped his weapon on the bed before going to answer it.
"WHAT IS IT?"
The resulting hesitation on the other end signaled that his fury had been noticed. "Garran, it’s Jeffrey. I really hate to disturb you and Doctor Sarah but something’s come up."
"Something that you need me for?" he growled.
"Un, well, no, not you. Doctor Sarah. Could I speak with her, please?" Jeffrey’s voice sounded urgent. It was the middle of the third shift, what kind of an emergency could Sarah be involved in?
She was already by his side, her anger gone. She was alert, a cool professional in her demeanor.
"What is it, Doctor?" Sarah asked.
The words tumbled through the link. "One of our Gaian ladies is in labor. She’s a little early but for the past five hours things have been progressing smoothly. Neither my wife or I are obstetricians but we can ha
ndle a routine birth. But now there’s a problem, the monitor’s showing some severe distress to the baby and her blood-pressure is through the roof."
Sarah spoke with quiet composure, asking questions. Garran didn’t recognize the names of the drugs she’d suggested or techniques they’d tried, but clearly Jeffrey did. The doctor was considerably calmer by the time she’d finished by telling him she’d be there in ten minutes.
"Oh, and Jeffrey...please have some javi when I get there."
The man actually laughed when he told her he would.
As soon as she closed the link she headed for her cabinet and pulled out a skirt and blouse. With her back to him, she tore off her nightgown and dressed without conscious thought of him. Shocked at her boldness, Garran got a quick glimpse of bare flesh before she fastened the closures of her garments.
Gone was the timid bride for whom he’d changed clothes in the sanitary to avoid embarrassment, and the blushing virgin he’d almost made love to. Her expression a mask of competency Sarah turned to face him and pointed to his sleepwear. "I’ll need a guide to the medical facility. Could you take me?"
Still wondering at the change in her, he grabbed clothes of his own, and changed while she used the sanitary.
Maybe he’d dreamed it that she’d lain in his arms and kissed him like she’d been alive with passion, if only for a few minutes. He lifted the fingers that had sought to pleasure her and smelled her musky sweetness on them. No, it hadn’t been a dream.
Chapter Seventeen
Jeffrey met them in the waiting area of the clinic and pulled Sarah to the side, shoving a full mug of javi in her hands. She sipped the hot fragrant brew while the doctor briefed her on their patient. He looked even more worried than he’d sounded on the com-link. "I’ll take you to the room."
"We’ll wait out here," Garran told her, Maxxa’s hulking presence behind him. They’d found the bodyguard in Garran’s lounge, napping on one of the couches, and ever vigilant he’d insisted on accompanying them to the medical center.
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