Reaching an arm around me, he kissed my temple. “I know. But I want to take you away from everything so we can have fun and forget ourselves for a little while.” I sighed. He was right. That sounded absolutely perfect.
Wednesday afternoon came quickly and before I knew it, we were in my car, two carry-ons packed, and headed for Boston. Wherever our destination, Logan Airport had a non-stop flight and we were going to spend the night at the apartment. But, we had to make a quick stop so Matty could say goodbye to his son.
Matty slowed, pulling into the familiar driveway and I glanced over to see how he was holding up. This weekend was his weekend with Sam; and instead of spending time with his son, he was taking me away. He had seemed so calm about it, which surprised me, but I just assumed that he’d hold it together until after we left.
I was wrong again. As soon as we shut of the car, the little boy came out of the house pulling a suitcase behind him, followed by Becky. I frowned at Matty and he just shrugged, smiling.
It took us almost fifteen minutes to say our goodbyes, but then we were on our way again – this time with an extra passenger. “Ok.” I turned in my seat to face the boys. “What’s going on? Where are we going?”
Matty just smiled. Sammy could barely contain his excitement, though. “Fine. You can tell her, Bud.”
“Yay!” Sammy was practically jumping up and down. “We’re going to Disney World!”
Disney World? I loved Mickey as much as the next girl, but why was that someplace I really wanted to be? Florida! My heart stopped beating. “Is someone else in Disney World?” I asked Matty, my voice barely a whisper.
“Lily and Jamin are waiting for us right now!” Sam couldn’t wait for his dad to answer, and this time he was actually jumping in his seat, dimples showing with his grin. “We’re gonna be there all weekend!”
I turned back to Matty who was beaming. He was taking me to the one place I really, really wanted to be. God, I loved this man!
Twenty Five
The flight lasted forever. Ok. With the security check, boarding time and actual flight time, it took us four hours from Boston until we found our driver in the Orlando airport. But for a mom that hadn’t seen her kids in weeks, it definitely felt like it lasted forever.
I tapped my foot in annoying eagerness as Matty checked us in at the Polynesian Resort, wishing the woman behind the counter would move just a little faster. We had adjoining rooms and the other half of our party, my family, had already checked in.
Familiar giggling on the stairs behind me had me spinning around. Seeing their faces, I felt like I’d won the lottery. My hands came over my mouth, as tears burned my eyes. Matty’s hand rubbed my back gently as a petite little eight year old, her wavy blonde hair pulled away from her face by a mini-ear headband, spotted me and squealed.
“Lily-Belle!” I smiled as she ran toward me full tilt and jumped into my arms. I gave her the biggest hug I could, looking over her shoulder for her big brother. Much too cool to run to his mom, especially in a public place, my dark haired mini-me strutted across the lobby, giving me a gapped tooth grin. “Benamin!” He laughed at my silly nickname, leaning in to hug me.
“We missed you, Mommy!”
I squatted, pulling them both into me. “You have no idea how much I missed you. I hope you had fun this summer, because you can’t leave me again until you’re thirty two!” They giggled and I let go, knowing they’d want to see Sam. Lily immediately started telling me all about our rooms, the pool, and how she’d seen Lilo here this morning. Her excitement was contagious and for the first time, I let the fact that I was in Disney World sink in. I’d been so ecstatic about seeing the kids that I hadn’t thought about the fact that we were in the house of mouse. Suddenly, I felt like a little kid visiting the World for the first time.
My dad grabbed me as soon as I stood up, wrapping his arms around me in the comforting way that only a dad can do. He shook Matty’s hand, stealing him away to talk about fishing… I only heard bits of the conversation, but they were laughing. Mom, on the other hand, looked as cold and reserved as always, offering me a quick kiss on my cheek. I was so happy that even she couldn’t bring me down.
**********
Splashing and the sounds of children’s laughter floated to the chair where I was sprawled out, having the sun dry my skin. I moved the brim of the giant floppy hat Matty had bought me, glancing out into the pool, and smiled. Matty was currently under attack from all three kids and was trying his best to fend them off. He picked up Sam, tossing him through the air, and Lily screeched, jumping on his arm. I chuckled at them.
“What were you thinking?” I tore my eyes away from my loves and glanced questioningly at my mom. She looked fabulous for a woman in her mid-fifties, blue swimsuit clinging to a body that she’d taken expert care of over the years. Her hair was graying and was the only thing that made her look like a sweet, loving grandmother. It was funny how her attitude didn’t match that image at all. “You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady! Coming here with him while your husband stays home. I’m sure the kids would have loved to see their father.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t know we were coming, Mom. Matty surprised me.”
“Hmm.” She turned back to the water and I saw her glare at Matty. “I’m just glad your father and I have been down here so we didn’t have to watch our only daughter ruin her marriage and make an ass out of herself by having an affair. Do you know how foolish you look—throwing yourself at a man like him? No one in their right mind would believe he'd be interested in you!”
Ignoring the veiled insult, I arched a brow. “So, you’ve talked to Will.” She only pursed her lips in answer. “I hate to break it to you, Ma, but you’re precious son-in-law isn’t the saint he claims to be. Next time you talk to him, ask him who cheated on who.”
“Oh, for god’s sake, Josephine, grow up! Men have affairs all the time!" She swept her arm dramatically. "Do you honestly think your father was faithful to me?” I gaped at her. She only smiled snidely in return. “It’s different for men; they need to…”
“Stop right there!” I interrupted. “You honestly expect me to believe that Daddy cheated on you and you stayed?”
“Well of course I did! He was nothing when
I met him. I didn’t put in all the hours encouraging him and helping him get where he was to leave over a few silly affairs.” A few...? I looked away, unable to believe this woman with the crazy ideas shared my DNA. “Will felt ignored and did what any man would do.” She clucked in annoyance. “I did not raise you to behave so selfishly. You need to end this stupidity while you still can!” Her voice was low and icy.
It never failed. Five minutes alone with my mom and I felt like I was twelve years old again. I’m sure if we’d had this conversation a few weeks ago, I’d be berating myself right now. But that was before Matty. I turned my head to find him leaning against the edge of the pool, laughing with Ben. I smiled. He looked up as if sensing me staring, and his eyes lit up as he blew me a kiss.
“Think what you want mom, but this is really none of your business.”
**********
“Joes?” Matty stopped suddenly, staring out into the water. After a busy few days park hopping with the kids, he’d somehow convinced my parents to keep all three kids after a luau dinner show at Ohana’s. We’d taken advantage of the privacy and were walking hand in hand down the moonlit beach next to the Seven Seas Lagoon.
“Matty?” I sighed back, looking at the lights of the Magic Kingdom in the distance and listening to the water lap the shoreline. I was completely content.
He squeezed my hand gently. “I’m having a really good time.” I smiled. I was, too. Disney World with three kids wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be, and while we’d kept them beyond busy, they’d all been amazing. “I want this all the time.”
I turned to him. "The beach and balmy temps? Yeah, the Caribbean does sound nice."
He looked at me, chuckling.
“You. I want the three of you all the time. I love you. I love them.” He shrugged, wetting his bottom lip. “I want you to move in with me when we get home.”
I was speechless. We’d never talked about our future. I sighed, searching his eyes. I did want to spend the rest of my life with him, and at some point we’d have to tell the kids that Will and I weren’t together. It wasn’t like they could come stay at the hotel with me. I couldn’t keep the smile from my face as I nodded. “Ok.”
Matty whooped, jumping in the air like a little kid, and I laughed. He beamed back. “Do you have any idea how happy you make me?” If it was half as happy as he made me, then I made him delirious.
Cutting our walk short, we ran back to the hotel, excited to be alone again. As quietly as we could, so we didn’t wake up the family in our adjoining room, we spent the night showing each other just how much we each loved the other.
**********
I’d said my goodbyes to my kids at the hotel. We thought it would be too hard to bring everyone to the airport, and since they had another few days at Disney, my mom distracted them by taking them to Animal Kingdom. Dad, on the other hand, had insisted on coming with us. He and Matty had joked and made small talk the entire ride. I tried to enjoy them, but I hated leaving my babies. When we got to the security entrance, I thanked my dad for making the weekend fun. He just laughed and wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m gonna miss you, Kid!” My dad’s arms held me tight, his lips skimming my forehead. Pulling back slightly, he looked at me like he wouldn’t see me again for months. “You look happier than you have in years!” I smiled, not sure what to say.
He dropped his voice almost to a whisper. “I’ve always liked Matt, you know that. But I have a whole new respect for him now that he’s got my little girl smiling again. Don’t listen to your mom. Will wasn’t good enough for you fifteen years ago, and he still doesn’t come close.” He moved so we were eye to eye. “You find out what makes you happy and you hold onto it. Your mom can go to hell!”
“Oh, Daddy!” Tears stung my eyes. “Take care of my kids, ok?”
He nodded, turning to Matty. “I’m trusting you to take care of my little girl.” Matty took the comment very seriously, promising to do just that.
I turned and waved as I followed Matty and Sam through baggage check. Watching the father and son in front of me, I realized that I couldn’t wait until my kids were home and the five of us were together again.
Twenty Six
“You seriously flew to Florida and spent the weekend with my kids and didn’t bother giving me a heads up?” Will was leaning against his car, one ankle propped over the other in a causal manner that contradicted the anger I could see bubbling below the surface. To a passerby, we were two professionals having a conversation in a hotel parking lot. To me, we were a couple on the verge of a major blowout.
I’d gotten out of work a little early to move my stuff out of the hotel and into Matty’s house, and thankfully, had just brought another load to my car when Will pulled in. I leaned against my own car that was parked next to his, trying to ignore my sweaty palms, happy that he hadn’t found me in the room. The idea of being alone with him in a small space was terrifying. I met his eye, ignoring the vein in his forehead, and nodded. “Just for a few days.”
His nostrils flared. “You really don't see a problem with that?”
I knew that I couldn’t move any further away from him, but the urge to back up was strong. Don’t show him any fear, don’t show him you’re afraid! I repeated to myself over and over. Lifting my head, hoping he couldn’t see how scared I was, I replied as evenly as I could. Being terrified was such a new reaction to having him near that it made it worse. “No. Sooner or later we have to tell the kids. I think they’ll realize something’s off when they come home and we’re living with Matty.”
“The fuck you are.” He was seething. “My kids are not living with him.”
I glared. “We are. I’m taking them at least half the time.” I shook my head angrily. “I told you, I’m not discussing this. Your lawyer can call mine.” We’d talked about this on the phone this morning, when I’d told him I was moving into Matty’s. I wanted to be courteous, to give him a heads up. It had turned into a screaming match, though, and I’d hung up. Apparently, nothing I said sunk in.
Will stepped towards me. “And I told you,” he hissed, “that you can get this shit out of your system until the kids come back and then you are moving home. Don’t defy me, Jo, or I swear to god I’ll...”
My mouth fell open, fear forgotten as I interrupted. “Or, you’ll what, William? Is that a threat?” I shook my head, amazed. “Defy you? Do you think its 1952?” I laughed once, appalled. “Are you high? Is that what’s going on? Obviously something has scrambled your fucking brain if you think you can tell me what to do!”
He inhaled sharply. “You’re my wife!” He was growling. “And since you’ve been acting like an immature little twit and making decisions that will put both you and my children in danger, I’ve come to the conclusion that you aren’t fit to make any on your own.” His eyes flared at me, daring me to argue. “When you come back to your senses, and start acting like the responsible adult you’re supposed to be, then you can lecture me on how I talk to you!”
“Fuck. You.” I stepped closer to him, the resentment for this man that I once loved building with every breath. “I’ll use small words to make sure you understand them.” I gave him a bitchy smile. “You cannot tell me what to do. I am leaving you and taking my children with me. You are not going to use them to control me, and you are not going to ruin their childhood by being a vicious and spiteful asshole. Keep up your crazy talk and anger issues and you will be lucky to see them on Christmas and birthdays.” I turned to walk away, stopping to add, “We’re done. If you want to talk to me, call my lawyer.”
I’d been so proud of myself for standing up to him, for pushing back, that I didn’t see his expression change until it was too late. It was like watching a switch flip inside him, and I instantly knew what people meant when they said they saw someone lose their mind. I didn’t have time to react as his hands wrapped around my shoulders and he shoved me backwards against his car.
My teeth slammed down and iron filled my mouth as I bit my tongue. I didn’t even have time to react before Will’s face was in front of mine, eyes on fire. “You fucking ungrateful bitch! You will never take my kids away from me!” He was screaming and I could barely hear him over the pounding of my heart and the harshness of my breath.
He continued to scream, but all I saw was Cris shaking in rage and attacking Carlos at the club, screaming about her friend that he’d hurt. I was not the girl who let anyone treat her like this. I was not the victim. This was not my life. Fuck him!
The blood was pooling with saliva around my tongue and the taste a bitter reminder that this was all too real. I didn’t think, just lifted my foot and kicked him in the shin, and bringing the high heel down on his foot. The action got his attention and he took one step back, then my palm connected with his face. He inhaled, eyes wide, backing away from me. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You don’t put your hands on me!” I yelled, not caring who was watching.
He stood, a look of shock on his face as he met my eyes. He shook his head looking away. “Jo… I… what the hell is wrong with me?” I raised an eyebrow back. I didn’t know. “Those are my kids, Joey.” His voice held a note of devastation. “I can’t lose them, too!”
I was pissed. How dare he treat me like that? But the horrified look on his face had my heart sinking. I’d never seen Will look so scared. I wanted to reach out, pull him into my arms and comfort him.
I heard the car pull in on the other side of mine, the driver’s door slam, and I knew Matty was there before I saw him. But I couldn’t stop staring at Will. For the first time all summer, he looked like he was processing what had happened. Emotions ran over his face, from humiliation, to amusement, to loss. When his eyes final
ly moved back to mine, I knew that he understood.
“Joes? What’s going on?” Matty had moved to my side, hand touching my arm lightly. I knew his question was rhetorical. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn to me and felt his eyes surveying. Will turned from me, looking at Matt, shame flowing from him in waves.
I had never considered Matty to be aggressive; there were times I would have called him intimidating, yes, but I would have sworn he’d never actually hurt someone. He took a step towards Will. “Did you hurt her?” His voice was a coarse whisper.
Will didn’t have a chance to answer. As soon as he asked the question, Matty’s fist flew through the air. It wasn’t like a punch you see in the movies; he didn’t raise his arm in threat, or pull his shoulder back. Nope. He just punched him in the middle of his face. Will’s head reeled back, and before he could right himself, Matty hit him again, this time in his stomach. Will doubled up, and Matty lifted a knee, connecting it with Will’s head.
“Matty!” I screamed. “Stop!” I flew between them as Will dropped to the ground and Matty was pulling his leg back. “Jesus, Matty! Stop it right now!” I yelled, holding up a hand to him as if it would stop the assault.
I was shocked at the ease in which Matty moved. It seemed natural for him, like he didn’t have to think about what to do next. He just reacted. The worst part was how calm he was. His hands clenched at his sides, and I could see his pulse pounding in his neck, but nothing else about him said that he’d just pummeled a man.
“I told you that if he ever touched you again, I’d kill him.” Even his voice was void of emotion. “I fucking meant it.”
My anger flared again. “I had it under control!” Behind me, Will was pulling himself up, and I fought the urge to turn to help him. Matty’s eyes moved to mine and I saw a small spark of emotion, but I couldn’t tell if it was anger or worry. I only glared back into the blue depths, trying to convey that I was fine.
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