by Rue Volley
August sighed and stood up. Shirking off the feelings of regret and followed Jami through a long hallway to the white door at the end. The paint was chipped on it. In fact the entire apartment looked run down. Jami stopped before he placed his hand on the handle and turned back to August.
“You need to be open.”
August looked down and then back up to him.
“I am serious, if you try to hide shit she will know and it will only piss you both off. She doesn’t play around.”
“Okay,” August said as Jami watched him closely.
“Okay.” He said in a nicer tone as Jami finally opened the door and the wafting smell of incense rolled out and engulfed both of them. August looked through the smoke and could see many candles burning and just figured he would go along with it. Jami truly believed in this nonsense so he would have to be as “open” as he could be to whatever was going to happen.
He stopped as he heard a voice and then turned to see no one, the voice then seemed to be all around him, whispering his name until he finally saw her sitting at a table with her fingers interlocked and resting on the top of it. She was not speaking and yet he could hear her voice inside of his head. He walked towards her and heard “Sit down” echo his mind as she looked him over. He placed his hand on the chair and sat down to face her, confused and yet curious as to how she was doing it. He looked around and she sighed and studied his face, finally opening her beautiful lips and speaking to him.
“Hello, August,” she said as he stopped looking for speakers and hidden wires in the room.
“Hello.” He said as he relaxed and she glanced at Jami.
“You can go now,” she said as she reached towards August and he naturally leaned back in his chair.
“Oh, I see you don’t trust me,” she said and August looked at Jami.
“I don’t trust anyone.”
Jami hesitated and Gaya looked at him. Jami tells me you need guidance.
August smiled and glanced at Jami.
“Don’t look to him, he is a black hole.”
“What?” August asked and Jami placed his hand on his hip.
“Fuck you Gaya.”
“You wish.”
Jami left them alone as August studied her face and she grinned at him.
“That one is a demon.” She said as she pointed towards the door.
“Jami?”
“Yes, he is.”
August laughed and she looked him over.
“You like him, that is not a good idea.”
“I thought you were friends.”
“he brings me business.”
“You don’t read him?”
She laughed as August rose up, ready to leave.
“No one can read him, like I said he is a black hole.”
“You, on the other hand, are not. You are a river, parting the sky.” She said and August sat back down as he watched the candlelight playing off of her brown hair. It looked healthy and long, some of it curled and some not. Her face was small but very pretty and in any other situation August would have found himself attracted to her. She smiled and lit a match, lighting a large candle between them as August saw that she was even more stunning with the illumination of light.
“I find you very attractive as well,” she said as he blinked and leaned forward to try to understand how she was doing it.
“Energy, I see it and therefor I see your thoughts. You don’t know how to block me yet so it is like an open book.
“You read minds?” August said and she laughed and leaned back in her chair. The back was higher than she sat and made of red velvet, August could not see the detailing on it but knew it was not cheap.
“So you value things in monetary levels then.” She said and August tilted his head.
“I think I am going to leave.”
She smiled and watched his face.
“He lives just behind your eyes as you do him.”
He shook his head as she pulled a large deck of cards and started to shuffle them.
“My brother?” he asked her and she nodded.
“I see your love for him and how lost you feel without him. The truth is you like to appear strong and yet you find him to be the strength. It is a strange relationship you have with him but then again, twins are not easily understood except by those of us who have one.”
“You have a twin?” August asked her as she set the deck down and stared at it.
“I did once, she left this plain for the next, but I still see her from time to time.”
August grinned and leaned back against his chair as he felt the soft fabric engulf him. For some strange reason this room felt safe, like a vault and he could not tell if it was his own intuition or her doing it.
“You do not believe, I understand. It is hard to understand it when no one had the means to show you.”
August placed his hands on the table and she grinned at him, the candle flickered, looking like fire in her eyes. He blinked a few times as something unsettling went through him but he quickly pushed it away from himself as she watched him very closely.
“Split the deck.” She said to him as he looked down at the cards.
“I don’t really…”
“You came out of curiosity, do not deny yourself now August.” She said as he reached up and took part of the deck and set it down next to the remaining cards. He then sat back as she picked up the cards and started to place them face down in front of him.
“There are Major Arcana and Minor Arcana cards.” He said as she stopped and grinned at him.
“That is correct.” She said. “The Major cards are that which we cannot control, outside forces and the minor…”
“We do control.” He said as she continued to place them down.
“Do you find it exhausting to have to study everything to the point of disbelief?” she asked him and he laughed as he watched her.
“I don’t study things to not believe, I am trying to find a reason to believe.”
She stopped and looked at the cards as she pondered his words.
She reached up and flipped the first card which was facing away from him and lifted her eyes to him.
“You have no control over your love. It consumes you and will continue to do so until you accept it as who you are.”
“Deep.” August said as she looked at him and smiled.
“But you already knew this, being bi sexual as you are.”
August cleared his throat and glanced at the door.
“Jami did not tell me anything about you, ask him.” She said and he looked back to the cards on the table.
“How do I know that?” August said as he adjusted in his chair.
She watched him closely and flipped the next card as August laughed.
“Oh am I Satan now?” he asked and she looked at the card of the devil and then back up at him.
“I expected you to know this one,” she said and August waved his hand.
“I remember a goat, I don’t know. It had been a long time since I…”
She cut him off and as she spoke, her tone calmed him and he felt as if he could visualize her words. He tried to fight it but she had a control over him he had never felt before. She smiled at him as she lit a second candle and the flame rose higher than the first.
“The Fool comes to the foot of an enormous black mountain where a creature half goat, half god reigns. At his hooves there are naked people, linked to the god's throne by chains, engage in every indulgence imaginable: sex, drugs…. The closer the Fool gets, the more he feels his own earthly desires rising in him. Carnal desires, hunger for food and power, greed and selfishness. "I have given up all such desires!" he roars at the Goat god, resisting the beast's power with all his might.
August watched her as if the rest of the room faded away and the scene played out behind her. She stood up and raised her hands into the air, continuing on.
“He is sure that this is a test of his new spirituality, one where he must prove that the temptat
ions of the material world cannot sway him. The creature responds to his defiance with a curious look. "All I am doing is bringing out what is already in you," it responds mildly. "Such feelings are nothing to fear, nothing to be ashamed of, or even to avoid. They are even useful to helping you in your quest for spirituality, though many try to pretend otherwise." The Fool gestures angrily at the chained men and women, "You say that even though these people are clearly enslaved to the material world?" The Goat-god mimics the Fool's gesture. "Take another look." The Fool does so, and realizes that the chained collars the men and women wear are wide enough for them to easily slip off over their heads. "They can be free if they wish to be," the Goat-god says, "They remain here because they want to be controlled by their base, bestial desires. There are, however, others…." At this the Goat-god gestures upward, toward the peak of the mountain. "…Others who have used these same impulses to climb to the highest heights. If they had denied their desires they'd never have gotten there." On hearing this, the Fool sees that he has mistaken the Goat-god. This is not a creature of evil as he thought, but of great power, the lowest and the highest, both of beast and god. Like all power, it is frightening and dangerous...but it is also a key to freedom and transcendence.”
August sat there as the scene played out his in his mind as if he was watching a movie, his heartbeat slow and steady, her voice transcending him to a place he had never been before without help of a drug or alcohol. He then jumped as he felt her hand on his. He jerked it back and stared her down, feeling as if she had betrayed him and his ability to think for himself.
“You fucking hypnotized me.”
She smiled and pulled her hand back and looked at the cards before her.
“I do not hypnotize anyone, people come as they need to and accept what they need to hear. I would say you are irritated in the truth more than your suspicions about me.”
“Don’t speak in fucking riddles to me. I saw it, plain as day in front of me…the fucking goat, all of all it.”
“What bothers you August? Is it that you see what you are and deny yourself, or that you and your brother are as one?”
August stood up and knocked the candles over as he ran towards the door. Gaya sat there uninterrupted in her reading of him.
“You are not one to walk away when the answers are right here August.”
“Fuck you,” he said as he jerked the door open and walked down the hallway, Jami stood up as August stormed out of the apartment and away from the intrusion of his mind.
Gaya looked at the cards and then flipped the rest of them over, sucking in her breath as she read what could only be a fate August could never outrun and a curse his family would forever own.
Chapter Sixteen
Cracks In The Foundation
The man watched as the boy was struggling on the table. He picked up a sharp medical instrument and the low light played off of it as his phone interrupted him. He then set the scalpel down as the boy moaned behind him. He sighed and took his phone from his pocket and placed it to his ear.
“Is it done?” Ryan said on the other end as the man glanced back at the naked boy on the table, strapped down and wiggling to get free.
“You have no patience.”
“Don’t fuck with me anymore,” Ryan said as his voice became louder and it let his anger seep through.
The man smiled and then spoke in his usual disinterested nature.
“I have to remind you that sending a message takes precision.”
“A message?” Ryan asked as the man picked up the scalpel and walked towards the boy who looked petrified on the table before him.
“Yes you see…” he started to say as he placed the scalpel to the boys the ear and started to apply pressure. The boy moaned behind the leather strap across his mouth as the man grinned. He then started to saw the scalpel and remove the ear as if he was preparing meat for a sandwich, the boy screamed behind the leather.
“Messages come in many forms, some are spoken, some written and then some…” he stopped and let the scalpel drop on the metal table as the boy sobbed behind his gag. He then lifted the ear as it dripped with blood and studied it.
“…need to be pieces and parts that can be recognized.”
“What the fuck do you mean?” Ryan said and the man smiled and glanced at the boy.
“I thought you preferred to be ignorant?” he said and Ryan sighed as he could hear the boy in the background.
“Just fucking end this now.”
“I need your help.”
“My help?”
“Yes.”
“Do I have to remind you that I pay you,” Ryan said quietly into the phone.
“I think I need to remind you of who this is.”
Ryan sighed and held the phone tightly to his ear.
“Okay where?” Ryan said and the man smiled into his phone.
“1526 Winston.”
“Give me an hour.” Ryan said.
The man turned back to the boy and grinned.
“This will be a great night.”
The phone went dead as Ryan placed it onto the table. A woman started to walk towards him as he wiped his lips with his napkin and set it off to the side, her legs long, heels high and ass just the right size. She sat down as he watched her mouth open and then close. He played with the ring on his finger as he controlled the vibration he was causing from the small device she had inserted into her aching pussy.
“Ahh.” She said as she adjusted on the chair and he watched her closely.
He turned it up higher with the top of the ring pinched between his fingers, her eyes became glossier and he licked his bottom lip.
“I think we should order our food now.” He said quietly as she tried to control herself. The small metal vibrator hummed inside of her at a furious speed. She could barely hold it back from bringing her to orgasm. The waiter stepped up as she continued to move her hips and he cleared his throat as he held the wine.
“Would you like to sample this tonight?” he asked as she laughed and touched her lips with her red fingernails. He narrowed his eyes as Ryan spoke.
“How much do you make?” he asked the waiter who suddenly was taken off guard by his awkward questioning.
“Enough,” he said as Ryan looked at him and grinned.
“I doubt that but I have a job for you if you would like to be able to quit this place and be on vacation for a while.”
The waiter looked around the restaurant and then back to Ryan. He did not immediately say ‘no’ so Ryan knew he would had a taker.
“I don’t know what you…”
“We are leaving, I would like for you to come with us.” Ryan said as the waiter set the wine down and Ryan reached over and placed his hand on top of his. His finger moved slowly as the waiter glanced at the women who bit her lip.
“If I leave I will be fired.”
“You will no longer need this job, I assure you of that.”
The waiter kept his eyes locked on Ryan’s as the woman leaned up, small moans rising up in the back of her throat and she placed a hand on his thigh. She then moved her hand over and applied pressure to his cock which was starting to become hard beneath his clothing.
“Come,” Ryan said as he stood up and touched the waiters arm. The woman rose up and leaned into his ear, whispering something that made him smile. He dropped his white towel and abandoned the wine and his will to stay at his job.
****
The ride was easy as Ryan sat across from the woman and waiter as she sucked him off. He fingered at her pussy, she moaned and Ryan adjusted the speed of the vibrator she had inserted into herself at his bidding. Ryan had never experienced anyone saying no to him, no one but me. In fact I was the only true game he had ever chased after. All others had been willing and made the game less important to him. He stared at the ring as he suddenly turned it off and the girl took her lips from the tip of the waiters cock. Ryan watched her and grinned. He then placed his hand on the button that con
trolled the black window between him and the driver. It lowered as the girl sat up with her breasts exposed and the driver glanced at her.
“Take us home,” Ryan said as the woman stared at him and then back to the waiter.
“Where is your wife?” she asked and Ryan looked out the window as he placed his finger on the button to make the window go back up.
“Home, I would assume,” he said as she leaned back and watched him.
“Won’t she be upset with us…”
Ryan cut her off as he looked at her.
“I don’t pay you to fucking talk to me.”
She narrowed her eyes and then crawled to him, letting her hands rise on his legs and then she undid his pants as he continued to look out the window. The waiter joined them on the other side of the car as Ryan felt a hand to his face and the waiter turned his face to look at him. He leaned in and let his lips press against Ryan’s as a tongue forced his lips a part. The woman pulled his cock out and started to suck on it as the waiter kissed Ryan with more passion than he had known in a while. He reached down and started to rub the waiters cock as he moaned at his lips and allowed himself to be sucked off by eager lips below him.
****
I woke up in the hallway alone and I should not have been surprised. I mean why would Ryan stay after he had received the last gift from me? I would love to think that we both understood what it meant, I mean the words had been spoken but Ryan had given to me something I had never received from him before. His love. I know it was sadistic in nature, I know that I probably should have stopped it all but something made me, some old sick need I would always hide away for him. I told him a divorce would be the only out we had and he had agreed but as I woke up alone I felt my heart drop, as if I had inadvertently damaged myself in some way I could not recover from. I then pushed myself up and stood there naked and alone in the darkness of the small connection between the two of us. I guess I had fooled myself all of these years in thinking that Cas and August were what held this home together and made Ryan and I as one. I mean regardless of murder. We had successfully escaped it, or had we? Had the murder not been of my Father and Miko, but of us? I could not tell anymore.
I walked from the hallway and into his room, mistakenly going the wrong way. My head was heavy and I was not quite awake yet. I stepped out and could smell him all around me. Ryan wears a certain type of cologne that sticks with you, forever, as he seems to do. It is deep and consuming, heavy and yet comforting. I walked to his bed and placed my fingers on it, running them along the soft fabric and then I glanced up at his closet and walked to it, knowing this would probably be the last time I would have a chance to see his things here and actually part of the home. I knew he would move out, maybe into the penthouse, I could not be certain. August had not mentioned it again since the night he proclaimed his need to be free. I smiled as I pulled one of his suit jackets off of a hanger and placed it on, one arm at a time. I wrapped it around me without feeling guilty for doing it. I flipped the lapels up and smelled them as I closed my eyes and memories of his touch and face filled my mind. I almost hate how he has the power to do this to me. I hate that he has been with me for so long that he seems normal to me. I know we should have been something better, but I always thought it would be, eventually that is. Sad to realize it now after too much time and deceit had passed between us. I heard a throat clear and looked behind me to see the new maid who had just started a couple of weeks prior.