The two men were afraid of something. Nola could tell that much from their shifting eyes.
She decided to try as best she could to remain part of the laughing, swooning crowd, for she knew that was the only way she could watch them. Let them believe her guard was down, so they would eventually lower their own.
Then the thing she’d been fearing finally happened.
Four or so months after Eric entered their lives, Petra’s smile froze on her face. The adoring looks she had once given Eric were replaced with quavering, unsure looks, and instead of nodding proudly when he spoke, Petra looked down at her feet.
It happened so quickly, the switch from adoration to fear, that the others didn’t even notice. It must have been Nola’s familiarity with the signs that allowed her to see so clearly. Then one afternoon, she saw it in living colour.
She’d been sitting in her room, quietly watching Eric and Petra as they sat beneath the trees. She’d watched as Petra got up and went into the kitchen, and she noticed with weed-glazed amusement how the girl almost ran to complete whatever chore it was she’d been sent to do. Nola had actually giggled, and had to cover her mouth to prevent the laughter from blaring out loudly when she remembered her own anxious run when Papa had instructed her to do something.
Petra had rushed back with a glass of ginger beer, and even beneath the glaze, Nola’s laughter quickly died when she saw Eric grab Petra’s wrist, twisting her arm till it wound like a piece of rubber behind her back. He hissed against her face, his teeth grazing at her temple, “Don’t I tell you to bring the bottle and make me see you open it? You think I want to drink your spit?”
Nola had heard the sob swallowed in Petra’s throat as she’d said, “Eric. You know I wouldn’t do that.”
But Eric had just sucked his teeth and dropped the glass of ginger beer at her feet. “No,” he’d said, “I don’t know that. All of you bitches is the same!” And then he’d left.
Nola saw Petra look anxiously into the kitchen to check if anyone had seen the exchange, then cover her face with her hands. No, Petra. I can tell you that you’re not dreamin’. When you tek down your hands, everyting goin’ still be the same!
Then Petra picked up the glass and walked slowly into the kitchen.
After that, Nola spent more and more time stooped by her bedroom window, listening to the exchanges outside. Eric was always different when Slugga or Mrs. Lyndsay were around—easygoing and pleasant, but the monster always emerged when he was alone with Petra.
Soon, it began to affect Petra’s everyday chores. Once, she emptied salt on Kendra’s diapers instead of detergent. Another time she forgot Kendra’s porridge on the stove, and by the time Slugga walked in, it had become a black, smoking mass caked to the pot.
Slugga frowned at the girl’s distraction, but thinking this was another of Petra’s depressive episodes, upped her medication.
Nola pondered telling Slugga what she’d seen, but she knew she would think it was just one of her weed-induced rants. Besides, Petra had made it clear she wanted Nola to stay out of her business, and who would believe Nola’s glazed tale over Eric’s velvet-sheathed one anyway?
It turned out that she didn’t have to. One afternoon, the barbs on Eric McKenzie’s tongue wore through their velvet sheath. It was the day that Petra walked into the kitchen and announced that Kendra was to be placed in a children’s home.
“Tiny, what you talking about?” Slugga croaked. “We’re managing so well with Kendra. I thought we decided not to bring up that home thing again since she was coming on so nicely?”
Petra shook her head, her smile firmly in place. “Auntie, it’s already decided. Eric know someone who work in Liguanea at a nice children’s home. Them say them have space for one more, and Eric say them tek good care of the children there, really love them and everyting. Even the ones like … Kendra.”
“Stop chat nonsense, Pet!” Nathan exclaimed, dropping his bowl of gungu pods on the counter with a loud ‘clank’. “When them say it take a village to raise a chile, them mean your own village, not a stranger’s own!”
“Look, I know everybody love Kendra, but I am her mother, and I know the best ting for her. Eric say that children like Kendra do better with people who know ‘bout those kinds of tings. None of us know anyting ‘bout it, Auntie. Memba the doctor say that she goin’ to need plenty help to live a normal life.”
“Love, Tiny! Plenty love, that’s what the doctor said! And we give her that every day! She’s a happy little girl.” Slugga’s voice broke.
Petra shook her head firmly, but Nola could see that the smile faltered. “She still a baby now, Auntie. What ‘bout when she have to start school? What happen when all the children start laugh at her?”
“Don’t start that again, Tiny! No one is going to laugh at Kendra any more than they laugh at the rest of us. No one can escape that, Tiny. Look at me. You think no one has ever laughed at me? All the time! Right, Mrs. Lyndsay? What about you? Don’t people laugh at you?”
Mrs. Lyndsay nodded emphatically.
Nathan gave a honk of laughter. “Yes bwoy, and me? You memba the time when I work all day bendin’ over the garden bed them, and when me done work me jump on the bus to come home and me notice people lookin’ at me strange the whole way? Is not till me reach the front gate of the yard that Miss Myrtle call out and tell me that my pants tear right out, and you could’a see all an’ sundry underneath! ‘Memba that day, Pet?”
Nola cleared her throat. She had so many stories about being laughed at that she didn’t know where to start, but when they all turned to look at her, she found that the words could not leave her lips. Slugga’s eyes were so shiny with pain that they made her heart quake. They begged for help, even from her.
Nola cleared her throat again, “Petra,” she finally whispered, “I know the two of us neva really see eye to eye, but trust me when I tell you that somebody laughin’ at Kendra is not the worst thing in the world that can happen to her. Her own family. Her own mother not wantin’ her is worse than that.”
At first Nola thought she’d reached the girl. At first she just stood there, blinking erratically as if absorbing Nola’s words.
But suddenly, she took a step forward, and her voice shook with rage. “Don’t talk to me ‘bout nothin’ to do with my pickney, you lazy, good-for-nuttin’ weed-head!” she ranted. “You think Eric don’t tell me ‘bout you? You think Eric don’t tell me how you is a good for nothin’ thief! How him had to take you home that day in the plaza cause you was lookin’ for something to steal!”
There was a collective gasp. Through the corner of her eye, Nola saw Slugga’s head fall. It was something in that movement, something in that defeated action, that triggered something deep in Nola. It was as if her heart shifted from one side of her chest to the other, causing a wrenching pain. Even in Kingston, she’d given someone Mama’s look.
Nola took a deep breath and moved towards Petra. “Since Eric know so much, why you don’t ask him why it’s so important to him for Kendra to go into a home? Him not around her, him don’t spend no time with her to know what kind of treatment she need? Why is it so important to Eric that Kendra go into a home, Petra?”
Petra blinked again, and for a split second, her aggressive frown slackened with confusion, but it was only for an instant. She also took a step forward, her face drawing close to Nola’s, her lips baring back to reveal clenched teeth. “Why you don’t mind you own business, stinkin’ country gal?”
Nola forced herself to take one more step, and this time their noses brushed. “No, Petra, why you don’t mind your business? Is you bring Kendra into this world, and you have people to help you with her, and you still want to send her away. For what? A man?” She cocked her head to match Petra’s stance, “… I suppose that is what you did mean when you sey you wasn’t goin’ to make your mistake stop you from makin’ someting of your life!”
She felt, rather than saw, when Petra raised a fist, but she did not step away. She continued st
aring into the girl’s eyes, just as she’d done in another kitchen with another attacking dog. Petra’s fist dropped heavily back to her side and she whirled to face Slugga.
“You see what happen when you bring dutty dog into your house? It fill it up with shit!”
Slugga nodded slowly. Her cheeks were wet. “And that shit is the truth, Tiny.”
Petra let out a defeated sob and covered her face with her hands. “All of you turnin’ on me and it’s not for me to decide! Eric ask me if I was sure, and I say ‘yes’, and him say once him commit to the space we have to take it or them goin’ charge him money for holdin’ it.”
“Rubbish, Pet! Rubbish, Rubbish!” Nathan threw his hands into the air again. “Is your pickney! Nobody can charge you money if you decide you want keep your own pickney!”
Mrs. Lyndsay shuffled forward and reached towards Petra’s voice, “We’ll talk to Eric, Chile. Don’t worry ‘bout a thing. You just go hug up you little boogsie.”
Petra went to the baby.
Nathan and Aunt May stood silently. Nola could not look at them, only at the safe blankness of Mrs. Lyndsay’s widened eyes.
She was so ashamed. She knew that her own behaviour had caused those same looks. She’d hurt them too, and worst of all, she’d been the one to bring Eric McKenzie into their lives. How could she have stepped aside and allowed Eric to cast his spell over them when she’d known the truth all along? They must have been thinking, What a nerve! Who this gal to talk to Petra ‘bout not minding her business, when her own business gone to shit?
Nola knew they were thinking it, because she felt them not looking at her. She felt them bristling from her past hostility and her rare presence in the kitchen.
Nathan was the first to move, storming out the door and towards his callaloo bed. He emerged with the slug-chaser and, with all his might, he flung the dome across the yard.
CHAPTER
36
It was that very evening, when he came to pick up Petra, that ‘we’ll talk to Eric’ happened. This time, when he squinted, everyone saw.
He squinted down at Aunt May, his toothpick bobbing as she told him that Petra had changed her mind about the children’s home, and she would gladly refund him any money he would lose because of her niece’s confusion. He smiled his beautiful, perfect smile, picked up a banana from the basket, peeled it, and after he had bitten it, he drawled, “Since is never you born the baby, Lady, I don’t think you have any right to decide what to do with her. The baby mother tell me she want her chile in a home, and that’s exactly where she goin’!”
Aunt May blinked in shock, Nathan blinked in shock, even Mrs. Lyndsay blinked in shock.
Aunt May cleared her throat and tried again. “Eric, I don’t think you understand. What I’m telling you is that Petra did say that she would put Kendra in the home, but she’s changed her mind, and the baby will be staying with us.”
“Us? Who is us?” Eric looked around the kitchen curiously, chewing nonchalantly on the banana. “Us? Tell me, Lady, is that what you goin’ to tell the judge? That us goin’ look after a special needs chile? Us being a mad-ass gardener who talk to leaves, and a blind woman who can’t tell if she feedin’ a cat or a rat, and a fat ole woman who soon dead from heart attack? What you think the judge goin’ say to that, Fatta? That you is a the perfect role model for the baby when you have a teenage girl in your charge who drop out of school and smoke weed all day?”
Oh God! Nola felt the room drop from under her feet. Oh God! They were going to lose Kendra, and all because of her! Oh God! She grabbed on to the counter as Eric smiled and gave her a wink.
“Nah! Nah! It can’t go so! Who the hell you think you is to come in here and tell us wha’ to do with our Kensey?!” It was Nathan, rushing from the kitchen door with his hands waving emphatically through the air.
“No, Nathan! No need for that!” Aunt May held up a hand. She stepped towards Eric and looked up at him with unflinching eyes. “Yes, Eric, call us anything you wish, but the fact remains that before you allow Kendra to leave this house, you’re going to have to go through that same mad-ass gardener, that same blind woman, and this fat ole woman! Kendra is ours, and judge or no judge, she’s staying here.”
Eric chuckled and dropped the banana peel on to the floor. “Fatta, you swimmin’ in water that too deep for you, man. What you don’t seem to understand is that Petra and I linking up as in man and wife! As in mama and papa! That’s right. Kendra goin’ finally have a daddy, and this daddy happen to know exactly what’s best for his little girl. My wife-to-be and I discuss this already, and we decide that a children’s home is the best place for our little ‘boogsie’.” He laughed softly.
“Getsh outsht! Getsh outsht of my houshht!”
But Eric just sneered. “Your house? No, no Fatta! Not your house. This is Petra father’s house, that him leave to Petra.” Eric laughed again as Aunt May’s mouth snapped shut in shock. “Which remind me, thank you very much for remindin’ me.” He bowed graciously at Aunt May, “I think all of you better start lookin’ for a place to live, since Petra and I have other plans for this house. From what I been sussin’ out, I can see that this area in need of a proper nightclub, not that Rastafari shit up the road, but a nice club that decent people can go to. Who can tell,” he pointed at Nola with his car key, “maybe we will even have some use for you, Clumsy. Put you in a little sexy skirt, make you show off them nice titties.”
Nola’s hands flew up to cover her chest and Nathan screamed. Nathan uttered a high pitched wail and flung his whole body at Eric.
But Eric had been waiting, and when his elbow cracked up into Nathan’s face, the horrendous sound of ripping skin and bursting cartilage resounded through the house. The sound brought Petra running from the room where Aunt May had told her to stay while they spoke to Eric. She stood at the doorway with wide eyes, holding Kendra tightly against her chest. When she saw Nathan lying on the floor, with the blood pouring from his face, she buried her head in the baby’s neck and released a stifled sob.
Aunt May shouted for someone to get ice out of the freezer as she dropped to the ground and cradled Nathan’s head.
Mrs. Lyndsay froze, “What him do, May? What him do to Nathan?”
And within all the cries and moaning, Eric simply jingled his keys at Petra and said, “Get your things. I don’t want you stayn’ here till we sort out the business of this house. Get your clothes, and make sure you don’t bring that thing with you.”
That thing! Even with the shock of the night still numbing her body, Nola felt the rage rise into her chest. She wanted to race after him and knock him senseless with the dutchie pot! She could take a lick from him, she’d taken them from her own papa, and she knew she could take one from Eric McKenzie, even for the satisfaction of seeing the blood spew from his glossy curls! She looked around the kitchen for something, anything—the dutchie pot or a rolling pin, and that was when she saw it—the machete! She saw it! Right there on the rafter in Ellie’s pen. She saw it up above her head, she saw herself pulling the stool beneath the rafter to reach it, felt the hate bubbling in her chest as she’d imagined the stained blade ending Papa—ending her misery forever.
She grabbed her mouth, willing the sudden surge of bile to stay down. Aunt May looked up from sopping Nathan’s nose, the woman’s eyes brimmed with tears, but even through the moisture, Nola could see the clear message—Don’t do it! Let him leave!
She knew! Aunt May knew! She knew that she’d tried to kill her papa. They’d all known! No wonder they’d tied her up. No wonder they hadn’t wanted her in their village. No wonder Mama hadn’t come to say goodbye. Only Aunt May had taken her. Aunt May and Aggie. Dear God, how could she not have remembered?
Petra came back into the kitchen with a bag clutched to her chest, her eyes refusing to look down at the squirming Nathan. She looked neither at Nola nor Aunt May, but turned instead to face Mrs. Lyndsay’s milky gaze, and said, “Miss Lyndsay, I leave Kendra in the crib. She re
ady to sleep, just check her and see if she ….” She took a shaky breath, “Check on her in a while and see if she okay for me?” And with that, she was gone.
They quietly dressed Nathan’s nose. Nola boiled some pimento and placed a poultice on the grotesquely twisted face, but the bruise was uncontrollable, creeping its purple stain from beneath the eyes right down to the chin.
Everyone was shocked. Eric? Their knight in shining armour! Surely there had been some misunderstanding! Nola was certain that if they had not seen Nathan’s distorted face for themselves, they would not have believed the story. It was not until after taking a tub of chickpea soup for Nathan that Mams believed, and after confirming the man’s injuries to Ab, the tables and chairs from the sidewalk were promptly packed up and stacked beside the light post.
It had only been Nola, Mattie and Barry on the sidewalk when Ab had angrily thrown the chairs one on top of the other, and while the women had clapped and cheered, Barry had not. Just short of the time that Barry had sauntered back down to the garage, the black Honda screeched to a stop in front of the cook shop. It was mid-afternoon, not a time Eric usually stopped by.
Eric exited the vehicle slowly, despite his hurried arrival, and sauntered towards the shop, not even so much as glancing in the direction of the lopsided stack of chairs. He had Necka with him, the skinny boy who always plaited his three-inch beard into a thin, ridiculous looking rat tail of a braid. He was not one of Eric’s regular companions.
Eric pulled himself up onto the freezer beside Ab’s stool, resting his elbow casually on his raised knee.
Necka leaned his lanky frame beside the window.
“Not so happy today, Ab?” Nola heard Eric ask.
“I and I don’t like what you do to my brethren the other night, man. We don’t live like dat pon dis road, Star. We look after each other. We live in peace pon dis road, my youth.”
Eric chuckled, a quiet, humorous sound. “But who say we can’t live good? We can live good, but if the man rush me, what you want me to do? You don’t expec’ me to defend myself, man?”
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