by C. S. Janey
“It’s amazing.” I grabbed my daughter and pulled her in for a hug. “I had no idea what you were planning!”
Annalina rolled her eyes. “Duh, mom, that was the point.”
I released my daughter with a laugh and although I wanted to hug my mother, she turned to face the house, waving her hand in the air as she said, “Time to get dressed. Don’t want to keep everyone waiting when they arrive.”
They shuffled me inside the house and up the steps into a room, my dress hanging near a mirror and a strange woman standing beside it. She beamed when she saw me and rushed forward, hand out.
“Miss McPherson, I’m Pippa.” The woman nearly bubbled with excitement as she shook my hand then released it. “I’ll be doing your hair and makeup today.”
“My hair?” I toyed with the object of our conversation and frowned. “I don’t really want to mess with it too much, Bradley likes it down.”
I swore she didn’t miss a beat. If she did, her face didn’t give it away as she nodded. “Absolutely. We’ll just make sure it’s nice and neat and doesn’t fly around too much while you wear your veil, how about that? And what about the makeup, did you have anything in mind?”
She dragged me forward and sat me in a chair facing the mirror, immediately fussing with my hair, moving it this way and that as she tried to find a style we could both live with.
Preparations sped by in a whirlwind of activity and soon, I stood in front of the mirror in my dress and veil, Annalina and my mother both staring at me with misty eyes as Pippa exited the room.
I’d chosen an ivory renaissance style gown, with a scoop neck, long and sheer bell sleeves that slit at the elbows, and a minimal train. The veil matched the tiny flowers along the neckline and bust-line; I’d let Pippa put up enough of my hair to wear the veil while still having most of it down and it fell to around my shoulders.
“You’re beautiful, mom.” She put her arm around me and beamed into the mirror. “The most beautiful bride ever.”
“Thank you sweetie,” I said with a laugh. “But you’re definitely bias.”
“I bet he will say the same thing.”
“He better,” my mother added, then smiled at Annalina. “Go let everyone know we’re about ready.”
She left the room, leaving me alone with my mother, who walked around the room and cleaned up.
“You know,” she began in a steady voice, “this reminds me of my own wedding day with your father. Before that day, we hadn’t seen each other in a week, so he snuck in here before I put on my dress. He was always doing things like that. He cared nothing for the rules or the way things were done. He always did what he wanted — just like you do.”
I opened my mouth to comment, but she held up a hand as her eyes came back to mine and she stepped up next to me. “You think I’m hard on you, but truth is, when you got pregnant, I was angry. And I stayed angry. I wanted so much more for my daughter than to be a teenage mother, to work her butt off for nothin’ in a fast food joint because she couldn’t even finish school. I was disappointed, not only in you, but in myself as well. I did my best after your father died, but it wasn’t enough; it was never enough.”
She put her arm around my shoulder, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I was so caught up in my own pain, in my own expectations, that I failed to notice how much you thought I didn’t love you. Until that day you came home and slammed your hand down on the table with this ring,” she lifted my hand with her free one and entwined our fingers, “I had no idea how much I hurt you with the things I said. But you stepped up all the time, helping me out even when I didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for making you feel like nothin’ you ever did was good enough. ‘Cuz I do love you. You’re my daughter — my one and only girl — and even if I knew what was going on these past few years, and I didn’t approve, you were only following your heart. And I want nothin’ else than for it to work out for you and Annalina; you both deserve a good man in your lives.”
I had to hold back tears at her words, but when I finally managed to do so and speak, I did. “Thank you. I love you, too.” I looped my arm around her in reciprocation, then smiled at her in the mirror. “I love him. Marrying him is what I want, and I don’t take it lightly. I remember you and dad together a little, and I want what you had.”
“I wish he were here to see you and walk you down that aisle.”
“Aw, mom.” I turned until I faced her then hugged her. “He is here, in the form of the five children you had with him. And he would be proud of you for raising productive, if slightly dysfunctional, members of society.”
She returned my hug and laughed. “All right you. Let’s not mess up things when it’s so close to time. And speaking of…girls!”
My mother and I separated as the door opened and in walked my three best friends in light blue bridesmaid dresses.
“Oh my god!” They gave me a hug one by one, then stood around me grinning like fools. “You guys, I had no idea! Who else is here?”
“You’ll have to see for yourself,” Jackie said. “You’ll get to meet Brett though, he’s my date. That’s a total sign he’s the right one isn’t it? Since he came to a wedding with me?”
Maggie and Angel laughed after my mother chuckled, and Jackie blushed even as she rolled her eyes. “I’m just kidding. Anyway, it’s time to go!”
The girls walked ahead and my mother looped her arm through mine as we left the room.
“What made you change your mind?” I asked her softly as we headed down the steps. “You weren’t happy even when you were helping him with the wedding.”
“I did it for you because you only get a first wedding once. And when you saw him standing in the doorway the other day, your face said it all. You love him, and long as he treats you right, that’s all I care about.” As we reached the doorway and she released me so I could stand next to Cody, she whispered in my ear, “And I can tell he will. He did all this for you, which only shows how much he loves you.”
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as she walked away, wondering if she were right, and if Bradley were simply in denial about his feelings.
But I didn’t have long to ponder on it as moments later, my wedding to the love of my life began.
~*~
My oldest brother, Cody, was the one who would walk me down the aisle.
We stood at the entrance behind the bridesmaids, who had apparently been paired up with my other three brothers who were the groomsmen. The flower girls and ring bearers were my nieces and nephews — Cody, who was four years older than me, and his wife Helena had twin boys, while Nate, two years my senior, had two girls aged three and five with his wife Malinda. My two younger brothers, Gregory and Daniel, were single.
I noticed that Jackie had been paired up with Nate, while Angel and Maggie — both single — had been paired up with my younger brothers, which amused me. I gathered my mother was trying to play matchmaker and knew my friends and I would have a laugh about it later since it wasn’t the first time my mother had suggested they should date each other.
As the procession began, I hooked my arm through Cody’s and he frowned down at me. “Why is it I had to meet the man who is marrying my sister on the day of the wedding? How can I possibly know if he’s good for you or not?”
Rolling my eyes, I watched the line and knew it was a mere matter of seconds before we began walking, and said, “Because he’s a busy man who surprised even me with this. But, knowing you and the fact you were informed weeks ago about this by mother, I’m sure you’ve researched him to bits.”
I felt his eyes on me, but I didn’t give him the satisfaction of meeting his gaze.
A second passed, then two, before he sighed. “Yeah, I did. He’s an upstanding guy, and I have to say sister, you’ve grown into an amazing woman. I worried about you for a while. I know as your brother it might not mean much, but he better know how lucky he is to have you; if not, I might have to kick his ass.”
Laughing, I gave him
a quick hug. “Yes, thank you, that means a lot. And I’m pretty sure Helena wouldn’t be happy with you ‘kicking anyone’s ass,’ but I appreciate the sentiment. I won’t need it.”
“Of course not because I’m sure you know him better than any of us.” He paused, then leaned in close to ask, “Are you sure you’re okay with taking mom with you? I’m sure we could find somewhere she could stay here.”
“Don’t be dense,” I teased, grinning at him as I kept my voice low. “We both know mom wouldn’t live with anyone else. She adores me as I’m her favorite.”
“Hush.”
“We both know it’s true.”
He scoffed, but before he could respond, the wedding march started. “Ready, sis?”
“Absolutely.”
First thing I noticed as we approached the ceremony area is that everyone was standing. I didn’t have to move my head to see who was there, and while I expected to see my family and friends, I didn’t expect to see Roger, Amanda, and their children. However, it made me happy to know Bradley had someone here for him today, and I looked forward to speaking with them later.
Then, I focused on my soon-to-be husband, who stood in front of the arch, watching me approach.
A camera flashed as my brother and I reached Bradley, and I didn’t think anything of it.
That is, until I put my hand in his and it flashed again. With a quick look, I discovered someone I didn’t know standing awful close to the front and realized it was a photographer.
"You hired a photographer?" I whispered to Bradley, surprised to see he let someone 'invade' his personal life in such a way.
"Well, you need pictures to commemorate this beautiful day and that gorgeous dress, don't you?" When I nodded, he smiled at me and put his mouth close to my ear to murmur back, "I need a good one to put on my desk at work to combat the rumors that I’m gay.”
The camera flashed again as I laughed and he pulled back with a chuckle so we could start the ceremony.
And, not long after, when we were pronounced husband and wife, Bradley stepped real close and lifted my veil. The look in his eyes had me wishing we were alone, and in the moment before our lips met, it felt as if we were. He invaded my whole vision, bringing my body against his and keeping me in place with one arm about my waist, the other coming up to rest against the nape of my neck.
I didn’t know where to touch, which he must’ve figured out because just before our lips met, he said, “Put your arms around my neck. Let’s get a kissing shot to remember.”
So I did, my entire focus on him.
If people clapped and cheered, or cameras flashed, I was oblivious.
All I felt, all I knew, and all I desired was Bradley.
And right when I thought he would pull back, his arm around my waist tightened for a split second, causing me to wonder if my mother were right about his feelings.
But then I convinced myself it was just me imagining what I wanted instead of accepting reality, so I dragged my mouth away first.
People rushed upon us as we separated and I was grateful because I didn’t want to meet his gaze.
I was afraid of what he’d see in mine — and of what I wouldn’t see in his.
Chapter Thirteen
Roughly thirty-six hours later, we were moved in — albeit without most of our personal things. Those would arrive in a few days.
Bradley undressed as I lay in bed, having already headed there not long before he got home from work, and I observed him. As he stripped down to his boxers and prepared to join me, I grimaced when he moved to get a drink.
“Why do you do that every night?”
He didn’t pause, pouring his drink, turning to me with it in hand as he answered, “It’s habit, I suppose. Plus, I like it.”
“When did you start doing it, for it to become a habit?”
Walking over to the bed, he placed the drink on the nightstand and slid under the covers. “Fifteen, maybe sixteen years ago. Hard to recall, but I started having a drink after work, if my shift ended in the evening. I don’t drink at any other time.”
“So it’s a comfort?”
He didn’t answer, seeking my nude body with his hands, before covering it with his own form. Without saying anything else, he kissed my neck, then slid down until the comforter covered his head as he lavished my nipples with some personal attention, alternating between his fingers and his mouth.
I ran my fingers through his hair, sighing with both pleasure at his touch and frustration at his lack of an answer, as he slid a hand down my stomach and between my legs.
“Bradley?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m not really in the mood.”
His fingers stopped their exploration. Moments later, he surfaced from beneath the blanket and looked down at my face with a rueful smile. “Over two years and this is the first time you’ve ever denied me. I suppose there’s a first for everything.”
Rolling away, he sat up and finished his drink, then opened the drawer of the nightstand. I smiled when he pulled out a book and turned on the lamp.
“It’s been a long few days, that’s all.”
“You should get some rest.”
I liked how he didn’t care. Or, if he did, he didn’t let it show. But I wasn’t ready for his hands not to be on me yet, so I improvised. “Will you rub my back?”
He didn’t even hesitate as he placed the book next to the bed. “Turn over.”
I did instantly, shocked he was actually going to do it. Not once had I ever asked for a back rub from him — actually, I never asked for anything, but apparently I should’ve spread my wings a little.
As I lay on my stomach, he tossed the blanket aside and straddled my hips, placing his hands on my shoulders and massaging them. When he squeezed, I didn’t expect it to hurt, but it did. I had my hands above my head, so I gripped the sheets as a hiss escaped.
“I felt that.”
I didn’t bother to ask, as I felt my body give way to his ministrations. His hands slid from there to my back, pushing, prodding, and soothing. Little by little, I relaxed until my eyes drifted shut. The bed shifted, and then, a soft kiss landed on my lower back.
“Lucy?”
I couldn’t respond with more than a moan as I drifted off.
“My drink is, and always has been, a comfort. But having you here next to me is a pretty nice comfort too.”
That’s the last thing I remembered him saying as I passed out with his hands still rubbing me.
~*~
Bradley’s in his office the following Saturday when I walk in, mail in hand.
He looked up as I sat his on his desk, then lifted the five pieces of mail for me from what I recognize to be his bank and his credit card company, and hold them close enough for him to see.
“What are these?”
“Looks like mail for you.” Turning his gaze back to his computer, he says, “Thanks for bringing me the mail. I’ll be out for lunch in a bit.”
“Bradley.” When he ignored me, I put down four envelopes and open one, my mouth dropping open as I see the contents. “What the hell do I need this for?”
Sighing, he put down his pen and turned in his chair to face me. “You’re my wife, and therefore, you need access to funds. That means you were added as a user on all my accounts.”
“But, this is a credit card.” I held it up and pointed to the figure on the paper with a stab of my finger. “Seventy-thousand dollar limit? Who needs that kind of money?”
Laughing, he pulled the paper out of my hand and placed it on his desk, then sat me on his lap. “It’s not about needing it; it’s about having it available even if you don’t use even a fraction of it.”
“What? Why would you have it and not use it? What’s the point?”
He laughed at my question. “Have you never used credit?”
“No. Why would I need it? I never bought anything I couldn’t pay for in cash.”
“Well, technically I could too, but credit give
s me the ability to show lenders I’m trustworthy in case I ever need a loan for a house or something else.”
My mouth dropped open, and I asked the one question I hadn’t even thought to ask him before now. “How much do you earn a year, Bradley, that someone gives you a seventy-thousand dollar credit limit?”
He picked up one of the envelopes and handed it to me. “Before I answer your question, open this one.”
“Uhm, okay.” I did as requested, only to gasp and stare at him wide-eyed. “This is a check for ten-thousand dollars. To me.”
“Yes, it is. I know you closed your account because they don’t have a branch anywhere near here, and opened a new one, but I didn’t have your details to do an electronic transfer. You’ll receive that every month.”
He had to be kidding. “Every…month…? You’re not serious!”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
I reached over and opened the rest of the mail: another credit card with an insane limit, a debit card which I assumed went to his bank account, and in the final envelope, papers detailing his life insurance that now had Annalina and I listed as his beneficiaries.
“Wow,” I muttered. “You thought of everything, didn’t you? I don’t even know what to say.”
Chuckling, he pulled the papers from my hands and placed them on his desk, then kissed me before saying, “As for what I earn…the average for orthopedic spine surgeons is about three-quarters of a million a year. I make a little above a million a year myself, but only bring home about half after taxes, investing and charity. However, my investments make me a good amount of money, as well.”
“Holy shit.” I shook my head. “I can’t even…” Pointing at the cards, I frowned. “I don’t want them.”
“You don’t get a choice.” He softened his statement with a smile. “I have given them to you and you will take them because it matters to me that you have them. Don’t use the cards if you don’t want to. Put the money in your bank because it’s yours. Save it, spend it, or give it away — whatever you want, it’s yours to do with what you like.”
“Spend it? How in the world would I spend ten-thousand dollars a month?” I threw my hands up in the air, unable to comprehend how he couldn’t see his suggestion as a problem. “What could I possibly buy that I don’t already have?”