by C. S. Janey
I was searching for a way to get someone’s attention when the door opened. I stilled.
And, of course, in walked Bradley.
I let him sit down next to me and place his hand on mine before I covered his hand with my free one.
He jerked, then stood up and leaned over me. “Lucy?”
“Ah…” I licked my lips and coughed, trying to speak once more. “Water?”
“Let me turn on the lamp for a little light.”
“No.”
“Of course, too bright. I knew that.”
I wished I could laugh right then, but I barely had the energy to repeat my request. “Water?”
“Right. Let me alert the nurses so they can arrange for the tube to be taken out. Don’t speak anymore. That’s a command, by the way.”
I waved a hand at his babbling, but he took the time to lean over and kiss my cheek before leaving the room.
The next bit of time passed in a hurry — they took out my tube, did some more testing to make sure everything looked good, then decided to monitor me a little more before releasing me, just in case. I also received my water, then it was time to rest once more.
My throat ached, so when Bradley sat down beside me after we were alone and handed me a piece of paper and pen, I smiled.
“I know your throat is a bit raw, so write anything you want or need on here and I’ll get it for you, all right?”
Yes, I scribbled. Where’s mom and Anna?
“At home. It’s about,” he paused to lift his arm up and read his watch, “well, it’s two a.m. but they will be back at eight. I told them to go rest in their beds.”
How long have you been here? You look like you need some rest.
“Every day. I probably look like shit, don’t I? I’m glad to see those beautiful eyes of yours.”
So sappy. Did you enjoy my cake?
“It melted.”
:( Do I get a new one?
“You can have as many cakes as you want when you’re home again.” He took the pad and pen from me with a mock stern look, then immediately followed it up with a bright smile. “You should get some rest.”
I frowned and shook my head a little, but he wasn’t having any of it. He put his mouth close to my ear and said in a soft voice, “Please. I know how tired you are, and I’ll be here when you wake up again.”
Maybe it was the fact his hand was in mine, his body close to mine, and his words were filled with a warmth that seemed to grow by the second, but I don’t even remember him pulling away.
I drifted off with a smile on my face.
~*~
Annalina’s face was the one I woke up later that morning.
She watched t.v., unaware I had awakened until I whispered, “Hey you.”
Her head whipped around, eyes widening for a split second before she grinned. “Mom.” She stood up and lowered the railing, then hesitated. “I wanna hug you, but I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
“Please.” I opened my arms and she leaned over until I could close them around her, as she used her hands to keep her body from resting on mine. “Much better. I love you.”
“I’m sorry,” she blubbered into my shoulder. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t’ve come up on you like that—“
“Shh, shh. None of that.” I tightened my arms around her. “No need to apologize.”
“I was so scared. But you should’ve seen da—“ Her words cut off, and she pulled back with a gasp. “I mean, you should’ve seen—“
I decided to tease her, but only because she looked so horrified. “Da? Who is Da? A new friend?”
“No—mom. I—“
“Annalina, calm down. It’s okay.” I laughed, happy to discover it didn’t hurt, then patted the bed beside me. “I heard you, you know. Was that my surprise at Christmas? I’m sorry I decided to take a nap if that’s what I missed.”
Her mouth dropped open as she took a step back. “Mom, this is not funny!”
“Honey, if I can’t laugh at this, then no one else can. What would be the fun in that? I was taken out by a cupboard.”
“Actually,” Bradley’s amusement filled voice chimed in from the doorway, “you cracked the cupboard frame and now I need to replace it. I’d say both of you lost that fight.”
Annalina looked from me to Bradley and back again, then covered her mouth and giggled. “Okay, I guess it’s a little funny.”
“Where’s mom?”
Bradley approached the bed and sat on the opposite side of where Annalina stood. Leaning over and sliding his hand behind my neck, he brushed my lips with his and pulled back. “She’s down in the cafeteria, but she’ll be up soon. How are you feeling?”
“Like I want to go home. This bed is uncomfy.”
“Soon.”
Just then, a nurse walked in with a wheelchair, and after declaring I’d get to go home in a little while, removed my IV’s and helped me into the chair.
“First,” she said, “we have to check on one more thing.”
She wheeled me out of the room, Bradley and Annalina trailing us, making me laugh the whole way with their banter.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The nurse covered my legs, and had me lift my gown up to uncover my stomach before turning back to the screen.
Bradley sat beside me as my mother and daughter waited out in the hall of the ultrasound room.
“I need to check one thing,” the nurse said, smiling softly. “When you fell, Dr. Blackwell here said you landed on it. We’ve been monitoring you and want to make sure there is no damage.”
“Okay.” Squeezing Bradley’s hand, I nodded as well. “I feel fine though.”
“I’m sure you do, Mrs. Blackwell. No pain is great.”
She had the screen turned toward her as she placed the rounded tool on my stomach and moved it around. It amused me to watch her face, until she turned to me with a frown.
“I’m not getting a good view with this, so we’ll need to use the wand.”
After shuffling around, I heard Bradley snicker beside me as she pulls out this long part meant to be inserted internally, and I elbowed him even as my eyes widened.
Then I grinned and turned my head to look at him. “Anything you want to tell me?”
The nurse chuckled as she pushed the wand inside me and Bradley shook his head, face blank as a clean slate. “Nope, not a thing.”
“Liar.” I turned to face the screen. “Okay, let me see the baby.”
“You’re about seven weeks.” She said this cheerfully, and turned the screen toward me. “Everything looks fine.”
I took in the screen, gasping with delight as Bradley’s hand gripped mine, and tears filled my eyes.
The nurse continued while moving the wand around, “Here is baby A. And here is Baby B. As you can see, they are in their own sacs, which makes them fraternal.”
“Twins?” My blurry eyes found Bradley’s intense ones, which were gazing at me and not the screen. “Did you know…?”
“No. They told me you were pregnant by the blood test, but I refused to view the ultrasounds because I wanted to see it with you the first time.” He coughed and flicked his eyes at the screen, the corner of his mouth turning up. “Guess that’s what we get for joking about multiples.”
“I can’t believe it.”
He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed where our fingers entwined. “Seems you’re always full of surprises.”
“I’m pretty sure you had a hand in this.”
The nurse coughed, making me blush and Bradley chuckle as he asked, “Do you want me to let Annalina and your mother in now?”
“Oh yes, please!”
When Bradley exited the room, the nurse remarked, “He’s such a good man, has worked here a long time. It makes us all glad to see him so happy.”
“Yes, he is.”
She didn’t say anything else as she turned the screen back to her and they entered the room. Bradley sat down beside me, while Annalina and my mother stoo
d next to him.
“Ready?”
My question was aimed at Annalina, and when she nodded, the nurse turned the screen to face us once more.
My daughter’s face lit up and she let out a squeal of excitement, while my mother’s mouth dropped open. Both reactions made Bradley and I laugh.
The nurse finished up what she needed to do, printed out pictures, and returned me to my room shortly after.
But I didn’t stay there long, and come early evening, we were headed home.
~*~
Bradley insisted I rest as soon we got in the door, and since I didn’t quite feel full of energy yet, I let him lead me to bed.
I must’ve dozed off not long after I laid down, because when I woke up, it was dark out and Bradley sat in bed beside me.
Since I faced away, I rolled over and noticed him reading, so I cuddled up close to his body, resting my chin on the side of his upper arm.
That’s when I noticed the ultrasound picture resting on the bottom of the page, held in place with Bradley’s thumb on the corner of it.
He spoke first.
“You know, the most common result in the birth of twins is a boy and a girl.” He put the book down but kept the picture in hand, and I moved to accommodate him as he turned to face me. “Twins happen in one of sixty pregnancies where fertility drugs aren’t used.”
“Thanks for the lesson, Doc,” I teased him, plucking the picture out of his hand to look at it. “I still can’t believe it.” I leaned back and put the picture on my nightstand, then faced him again and placed my hands on his shoulders. “You all right?”
“Elated.” Lifting up, he gently rolled until he hovered above me, eyes gleaming as he pinned me with his gaze. “Terrified. Worried. Proud. Amused. Pick one.”
“Proud for knocking me up with twins?”
His face grew serious as he covered me, bringing out bodies as close together as he could without putting his weight on me, and lowered his head into the crook of my neck. Kissing up my neck, he worked his way up until his mouth was at my ear.
“You scared the fucking shit out of me. I ran into the kitchen when Annalina screamed and saw you laying on that floor, and I…my heart stopped. Your mother dialed nine-one-one and through everything, I didn’t leave your side unless I had to. My family came and went — they were all at the hospital for a few days, too, by the way — and I had to make sure Annalina and your mother were all right, but otherwise, I held your hand day and night.”
Tears pricked my eyes at the torture in his voice, but I merely tightened my arms around his neck as I continued to listen.
“When a week passed and you were unresponsive, I feared the worst. I’m a Doctor and even though my colleagues who were taking care of you told me not to worry, that things were looking well, I couldn’t believe them even though I wanted to. You laid in that bed, carrying our baby, and I worried neither of you would make it. I demanded you wake up, although I’m not sure why, since you never listen to me anyway.”
A bubble of laughter escaped, tear sliding down my cheek as I whispered, “I heard you. And your comment about my hard head.”
He stiffened, then lifted his head to stare down at me, smirking. “I did say that.”
“See? I do listen, sometimes.”
Chuckling, he captured my lips, which I immediately parted to let him sweep inside my mouth. I slid my hands up into his hair, as his arms found their way under my body until he wrapped me in a hug, both of us on our sides once more.
Then he dragged his mouth away enough to say, “I need to say something while we’re both fully dressed.”
“Okay.” I waited as his arms tightened around me a little more, cocooning me in his warmth. “What is it?”
“I said I wanted you to marry me because I wanted you closer to me, and it was true, but entire truth is…I love you, Lucy.” My breath hitched, but he proceeded before I could react. “I couldn’t tell you because I was caught up in my own fears, and I wasn’t ready to move on, but I fell in love with you anyway. It was shitty of me to not work through my pain first, but I needed someone strong by my side when it came to deal with it. It had been so long, I’d shoved it aside, but when you went along with me, no matter what it was, I knew you deserved so much more than to believe my like for you is as far as it went. When I thought I’d lose you…I barely held myself together because you didn’t know how I felt and I needed you to know.”
His confession was sweet, and tender, and when my eyes filled, they were tears of joy as I took his face in my hands and looked him square in the eyes. “I married you because I love you, Bradley. I knew what I was getting into even if you never loved me back, and I chose to do it anyway.”
“I’m glad because I meant what I said, Lucy. I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“Yes, you are.” I felt him smile against my mouth, then I asked, “But what did any of that have to do with not being naked?”
His hand slid down, then up my shirt, and he cupped one breast, his mouth covering mine without answering me first.
There was no more talking.
He showed me his love with his hand, his mouth, and his words of appreciation.
And I demonstrated mine as I always had.
By continuing to place my love and trust in his very capable hands.
Epilogue
Many, many months later…
There was something special about watching Bradley hold the babies when he didn’t know I did so.
Our children had arrived screaming into the world two weeks early by c-section.
One boy. One girl.
Our son was a minute older than his sister.
And both of them at only a few weeks old held their daddy wrapped around their tiny little fingers.
He sat, cradling one in each arm, in a chair by the window.
Each night he would take this time with them, no matter how busy his schedule became at work, talking to them about everything and nothing.
He continued to work a lot because it was his passion, but had definitely stepped back a little, making sure to make time for his family.
A family that, as of this morning, grew on paper when Annalina had officially been adopted by Bradley.
“I know you’re there, Lucy.”
His voice jarred me out of my head, and I smiled, walking toward him. “How’d you know?”
“Reflection in the window,” came his amused reply. “I know you stand there every night.”
“Damn, and here I thought…”
I stood behind him, putting my hands on the back of the chair, gazing down at our sleeping children in his arms.
“So beautiful.”
“Yes, you are. And so are they.”
“Let me help you put them to bed.” I gently took Nadia from his arms, and watched as he stood with Ian. “Such angels.”
As we laid them in bed, Bradley chuckled and said, “You know, I asked Annalina why she chose these two names for her brother and sister. She smiled and told me to look them up.”
He put an arm around my waist as I asked, “And did you?”
“Yes.” I remained silent, gazing down at the children, closing my eyes when he brushed a kiss against my cheek, before whispering in my ear, “She’s a sneaky one. Do you know what the names mean?”
I did, but let him think I didn’t as I shook my head. “Why don’t you tell me?”
He leaned over the edge of their bassinets and stroked Ian’s cheek. “Forgiveness.” Then repeated the action on Nadia’s. “And hope.”
“Well, they are lovely names with lovely meanings from a girl who is smart like her mother.”
“Mmhmm.” He turned me in his arms and hugged my body against his. “Wouldn’t you know their middle names have the same meaning, as well?”
“Do they?” I couldn’t keep the laughter from my voice as I returned his embrace by putting my arms around his waist. “Imagine that.”
Ian’s middle name was David, while Nadi
a’s was Imogen.
Names both Bradley and I had chosen off a list of our favorites.
And yes, both had the same meaning.
Love.
It embodied everything they were to us.
Everything we would be to them.
And all the struggles we’d gone through to make it this far.
Nothing could make this moment any more perfect.
“There’s one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
He turned toward their beds, then leaned over and kissed them on their cheeks. Standing back up, he pulled a picture out of his wallet and handed it to me. When I looked down, Lucas’ beautiful little smiling face stared back at me.
“It would be his sixteenth birthday today.”
“I’m sure he would’ve adored his little brother and sisters.” A tear slid down my face as I took his hand in mine, giving him a watery smile. “And probably would’ve looked just like you.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” His smile saddened as he took the picture in his hand once more, then cleared his throat and put it back in his pocket. “Either way, I carry him around with me all the time.”
“I’m glad. There’s no need for anyone to miss a thing.”
He tugged me back to his side, and we stood there for a little while longer, appreciative for every moment we got to spend together.
~*~
A little while later, after my mother came in demanding it was ‘her turn’ to be there when the babies awakened, Bradley and I lay naked and cuddling in our bed.
I hadn’t been cleared to make love again yet, but that didn’t stop him from putting his hands all over me, or mine from him.
“What do you think we should aim for next time? Triplets?”
I knew he teased me from the tone of his voice, but my eyes widened at the thought anyway. “No way!” Then, my brow furrowed as I realized what he had said. “Wait. Those two are only a few weeks old and you’re already wanting another?”
“I want as many children as you’re willing to give me.”