by Tania Sparks
Trixie gets up and walks back towards the door again but before she leaves she says, “He’s yours if you want him Kitty. He pines for you all the time. Don’t tell him that I told you this, but he has a photo of you slotted into the bunk above him on the tour bus. Little Miss Uppity found it earlier this week and asked him about it. He told her to mind her own fucking business. She tried to get him to remove it, but he told her that if she laid one finger on it she’d be out on her ass. There was quite a scene. She would have recognized you from that photo, so she knows that he has some sort of feelings for you. Don’t let her fool you. She’s all too aware of whom you are and she doesn’t like it.” Trixie smiles warmly then leaves and closes the door.
Chapter 19
I take a few minutes to compose myself and after tidying myself up as best I can, I go back out. I attempt to be sociable and I try to put on a strong front, but even with my best intentions, my endeavors are futile. I’m miserable and it’s not easy to hide that fact.
The next few hours I keep myself busy by preparing a special Christmas Eve dinner for everyone, at least I’m keeping myself distracted. Trixie’s giving me a hand and I was right, it’s so nice having another girl to chat to and my mood starts to get a little lighter. We even manage to sing along to a few of the Christmas carols. It’s nice. I try to ignore the fact that Cody and his girlfriend are sitting in the next room, but it’s difficult. The reality is that I can’t stop thinking about him.
The guys are talking and relaxing, catching up and talking sports, tours and general guy stuff. Sasha hasn’t offered to help out at all and she’s sitting in the corner of the sitting room filing her nails for the tenth time.
Cody and I haven’t spoken to each other very much at all, we’ve exchanged a few heated glances now and then, and I mean heated as in ‘wild-crazy-sex’ heated. Even just being this close to him makes my body burn and I’m pretty sure he’s having the same reaction to me. But he’s here with his girlfriend so I don’t want to make it too obvious that all I really want to do is smother him with my body, so I’m sort of avoiding him. It reminds me of that time way back in the club when I was desperately trying to get him to give me a chance and he was doing everything he could to avoid me. Now the tables are turned and it’s me that’s avoiding him, it’s ironic really.
Trixie and I are just finishing off some of the food preparation when Cody comes ambling self-confidently into the kitchen. My body instantly starts to tingle at his proximity. He stands right up close behind me and rumbles into my ear, “Hey Kitty. I get the feelin’ you’ve been avoiding me.” He’s so close I can feel his breath whispering on my neck, a shiver runs up my spine causing goosebumps to tickle over my skin. Of course he notices my reaction and lightly runs his finger over the exposed skin on my arm, letting me know that he’s all too aware of the effect he has on me. I struggle not to turn around and do what my libido is craving for me to do. My body obviously doesn’t care whether he’s here with his girlfriend or not, it reacts the same way, irrelevant of the circumstances.
Trixie sees the sexual chemistry between us and quickly excuses herself, leaving me and Cody alone in the kitchen. I take a deep breath and turn around so my back is against the bench, but he hems me in, his hands rest firmly on the counter on either side of me, caging me in and giving me nowhere to escape to. We’re so close that I can feel the heat from his body radiating off him and our connection is so undeniable that it’s practically crackling between us. I exasperatedly whisper, “Cody, you’re here with your girlfriend.”
He frowns and tilts his head, “Yeah, she calls herself my girlfriend, but…”
I interrupt, “You bought her home for the holidays Cody! You must think she’s special.”
He grunts dismissively and rolls his eyes, “I didn’t really bring her, she just sort of followed…”
He reaches up and touches my cheek with his hand. Hell, that feels so good, having his skin touch mine is like a drug, addictive and irresistible. My breathing instantly picks up and I subconsciously lick my lower lip. He whispers, “Hell Kit, seeing you again…I knew I’d missed you, but being this close to you. Please tell me you feel this connection too.”
There’s no denying it. My reaction is all too obvious and I know he can see it, so I whisper, “I feel it too Cody.”
A big sigh of relief escapes from his lips. He lowers his head and I think he’s going to press his lips to mine and kiss me. We’re so close I can almost taste him. I wrap my arms around his waist and tilt my head up to get closer. I simply can’t help myself, my body reacts instinctively to him being this close.
We’re suddenly interrupted by Sasha flouncing into the room as she broadcasts loudly, “Anything I can help with in here?” It’s funny how she hasn’t offered her help until now and it’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t trust Cody to be alone with me in the same room.
I drop my arms away from Cody’s waist and he slowly takes a step back from me, but Sasha has already noticed how close we’d been and the intimate moment we’d obviously been sharing. Her false chirpiness instantly turns into a wicked scowl. She stomps over to Cody, grabs his hand and tries to drag him out of the room. She condescendingly barks, “Come Cody.”
Cody irritably shakes her hand off his and says sternly, “I’m fine right here thanks. You just go in the other room and relax. I’m catching up with an old friend.” He waves his arm towards the door, points his finger and states sternly, “You can leave now.”
Sasha just stands there, staring at me with a nasty grimace on her face. After a few awkward seconds she sulks off and states loudly, “I’ll be waiting in our bedroom Cody.”
We both watch her leave. But the special moment between me and Cody has already been broken. I turn to Cody and say with a smirk, “Waiting in the bedroom huh, I think that might have been an invitation.”
Cody chuckles, “Shit was it? You’d think she’d get the hint that I’m not interested. Now, tell me how you are Kitty.”
I frown apprehensively at him, “Cody, that can’t happen again.”
“What can’t happen again?” He grins mischievously.
I raise my eyebrows, he knows exactly what I mean. “Nothing can happen between us when you have your girlfriend here with you. I’m not that sort of girl.”
Cody releases a frustrated breath and mutters desperately, “I told you Kitty, she’s not really my girlfriend.” He huffs with annoyance, “But I understand what you’re saying and I respect that.”
I smile shyly and whisper, “Thank you.”
Cody grins cheekily, “You’re welcome. I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself, even if every cell in my body is screaming at me to touch you.”
We both chuckle softly and then continue to get on with what needs doing in the kitchen. We spend the next hour catching up with each other’s news while we’re doing the final dinner preparations. Trixie pokes her head in and checks to see if she can help. But I tell her that we’re all good, I’m enjoying my time here alone with Cody and I want to make the most of it. Trixie decides to join Nikki and Dad who are chatting in the sitting room. The conversation between Cody and me is easy and pleasant. It’s so nice talking to him like this. I’ve missed our conversations so much.
I tell him all about school and about the trouble I’d been having with my class work and how I’d fallen behind in my assignments, but had hopefully managed to make them up. I also tell him that the last few months have really taken a toll on me, I feel emotionally drained and I haven’t been coping too well at all. He’s very supportive and sympathetic. He tells me how good he thinks my art is and that I should feel confident in my talent. I already start to feel better having talked this through with him. He has a very calming effect on me.
Our talk is very platonic, just like two old friends catching up, but there’s still an undeniably strong undertone of sexual chemistry that constantly zaps between us. In fact I’m sure he’s purposely brushing his body against mine as he moves from
one side of the kitchen to the other. I’m drawn to him too, it’s like our bodies are magnetically attracted to each other. We’re practically dancing around, taking every opportunity to ‘innocently’ brush past each other as much as we can. Every single time we connect it causes a tingle of excitement to tickle over my skin. This is pure torture being this close to him and not really being able to touch him in the way I want to.
By the time dinner is ready I’m thankful that the others all join us in the dining room as it eases some of the sexual tension that’s been gradually intensifying between Cody and me. We all sit down and start eating. Nikki comments that he hasn’t had the pleasure of enjoying a proper home-cooked meal for months and judging by the speed in which he’s ladling the butternut squash soup into his mouth, followed by mouthfuls of my freshly baked biscuits, I guess he really does appreciate it. Besides I already knew that this is one of his favorite meals, that’s why I put it on the menu.
After the soup has been demolished Dad and Trixie clear away the dishes and we start on our entrée of country ham, cheddar whipped potatoes, bourbon and ginger glazed carrots and green bean stew. Both Cody and Nikki gulp down their food, muttering appreciative comments and groaning grateful noises of pleasure. Trixie and Dad dig in appreciatively too. I’m glad that everyone seems to be enjoying the food, the country ham and potatoes was one of my Mom’s specialties and from the way everyone’s shoveling down the meal, I must have done her recipes justice. There’s not much conversation going on because everyone’s so busy eating and enjoying their food.
Sasha hardly eats a thing, she just nibbles on a tiny piece of ham and a couple of carrots. She’s constantly being overly flirtatious towards Cody and frankly most of her comments are a little inappropriate for a family meal. Her behavior makes us all uncomfortable, especially Cody who I can see throughout the meal is getting progressively more and more annoyed with her ill-chosen comments and actions. I wonder what attracted him to her in the first place. They don’t seem to have much of a connection. But of course I’m extremely biased!
After dinner the guys almost completely demolish the chocolate log that I had baked earlier today, then we all pitch in to clean up. Once the kitchen is back to a decent state, Nikki and Trixie decide to retire to bed early. Apparently they’ve all travelled a long distance today and they want to have an early night to catch up on some sleep.
Dad, me, Cody and Sasha retire to the sitting room to have a coffee, but after a short while Dad excuses himself to go to bed early too, meaning that Cody, Sasha and I are the only ones still up. Talk about awkward! Cody is on one of the arm chairs, Sasha is perched on a stool next to him and I’m curled up on the large sofa that faces the fire place that’s crackling warmly and heating the room.
Sasha stands up and holds out her hand to Cody, she haughtily snaps her fingers at him and demands, “Come Cody, I want to go to bed now.”
Cody frowns, shakes his head and says, “No, it’s okay. You go. I’m just gonna stay here and have a private chat with Kitty.”
Sasha’s face turns icy. She huffs loudly, rolls her eyes and mumbles, “Don’t be long.” She spins around and sulks off into the bedroom, knowing full well that once Cody has made up his mind she has no hope of changing it.
Cody calls after her, “Don’t wait up.”
He gets up from his chair and stokes the fire, adding a couple of extra logs to the flames. He then rambles into the kitchen. When he returns he’s grabbed a couple of wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. “Hopefully your Dad won’t mind that I swiped this out of his supply.”
I chuckle, “That one’s mine, Dad’s not much of a red wine drinker.”
Cody grins cheekily, “Well that’s good then. That’s one thing I won’t have to worry about doing that your Dad’s gonna kick my ass for.”
“Why, what else would Dad want to kick your ass for?” I ask curiously.
A deep and very naughty sounding rumble echoes in his chest. He sits down on the sofa right next to me. His body is so very close to mine and a combination of comfort and tantalization engulfs me. He says, “Well if he knew that I can’t stop myself from thinking about what I’d like to do to his little girl, I think he’d do more than kick my ass!”
A tingle of excitement prickles my skin, but I know Cody is an insufferable flirt. Besides I still have my rules, although goodness knows how I’m going to manage to stick to them, “Cody,” I warn again, reminding him that he has a girlfriend in the next room and although this chemistry is amazing, there’s no way I would do anything with Sasha just a few doors down.
He grins and then asks, “Drink?”
I take a deep breath and reply, “That would be nice.”
This energy between us is so hard to evade, whenever he’s close my body reacts. Even though we’re only friends, I want him and it’s blatantly obvious that he wants me. My heart is racing and I need to calm myself down. He’s not mine anymore. I need to try to control my raging libido. I laugh quietly as I consider the unlikeliness of me being able to control my reaction to him.
“Something funny?” he asks.
“No, nothing…it’s just that this is rather strange.”
Cody frowns, “Why is this strange?”
“Well, your girlfriend’s in the next room and all I can think about is how nice it feels being here with you like this.”
Cody nods in agreement and smiles. He pours us both a large glass of wine and then places the bottle on the coffee table in front of us. He leans against the back of the sofa and holds out his arm encouraging me to snuggle in next to him. Although this feels rather intimate for ‘just friends’, I can’t help myself, so I shuffle myself over and snuggle in close as I mumble, “Remember we’re only friends Cody, Sasha’s in the room down the corridor.”
A grunt echoes in his chest, “I can hug a friend can’t I? Nothin’ wrong with that.”
I know this is not quite right, but neither of us can resist this pull we have towards each other. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with this much direct body contact, but I can’t resist. I nuzzle into his side and his arm wraps around me. He starts to gently stroke my arm. A big sigh leaves my lips as I realize this feels so nice, so normal, so soothing. I’ve missed him like crazy. I rest my head on his chest and I can feel his heart pounding loudly, probably even harder than mine. At least it’s not just me that’s having this crazy reaction!
I try to keep the conversation casual, “You must be tired after all that travel.”
Cody pulls me in closer, “Yeah, I’m tired but you must be tired too, you’ve had a big day with all the holiday preparations. That was an amazing meal by the way. Thank you so much, it really was delicious.”
I shrug my shoulders, “It was no problem. Besides Trixie helped heaps and then you came in and helped a lot too.”
“Your Mom obviously passed her cooking skills onto you.”
I take a deep breath, “I really miss her you know.”
Cody kisses me affectionately on the top of my head. “It must be tough being the first Christmas without her. You’ve had a lot to do all by yourself over the past few months.”
“That’s okay, at least keeping busy helps me to keep my mind off things.”
I look up to see Cody grinning mischievously as he asks, “Would one of those things you were trying to keep your mind off happen to be me?”
I laugh at his cheekiness, “Hmm. Just school and Mom and things, you know.”
His face turns solemn as he asks again, surprising me with his seriousness, “And me?”
I give him a kiss on his cheek and whisper, “Yeah, you especially.”
He bites his lip sexily and his eyes bore into mine. He says quietly, “I haven’t been able to keep my mind off you too you know.”
If my heart wasn’t pounding before, it is now. This conversation is starting to cross the line of appropriateness. I mutter reproachfully, “Cody.”
He just replies with a simple, “Kitty.”
/> We sit in silence. We both know that this electricity between us is unique, it’s special, but I’m not the sort of girl to thieve another girl’s boyfriend. I admonish, “You’re here with your girlfriend Cody. We can’t. I won’t.”
A deep sigh escapes from his lips. “I told you, she’s not really my girlfriend.”
I shake my head and look him directly in the eye, “Yeah, well she seems to think she is.”
Cody huffs in frustration, “Sasha doesn’t know shit. She’s definitely not my girlfriend. I’ve only ever had one girlfriend and that was you. I miss you Kitty. I think about you all the time. This is crazy. I’ve never felt for anyone, the way I feel about you.”
I really don’t get it. Cody seems determined that Sasha is not his girlfriend, but why would she be here if she wasn’t? So I ask him directly, “Cody, if she’s not your girlfriend, why did you bring her home for the holidays?”
Cody shrugs his shoulders, “She just sort of followed us…besides I was dumb enough to think that if I let her hang around a bit I’d feel like maybe a had a steady girl, shit knows the constant stream of groupies wasn’t working for me. I craved that feeling that I had when we were together, of being part of a couple, so I sort of thought I’d give it a go to let her stick around for more than one night – like fuck that worked! She’s just really annoying.” He pauses then continues, “I don’t want her. I want you. I miss you like hell Kitty, and coming back here just confirms to me everything that I’ve been thinking and feeling. I don’t want anyone else. I just want you. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Just hearing him say that is so very comforting, I’m compelled to tell him that I’ve been feeling the same way. I sincerely tell him, “I think about you too. You’d think with everything that I have going on at the moment I would have a million things on my mind, but it always seems that every waking hour it’s you that consumes my thoughts.”