“We wouldn’t want Babs to get any sneak previews,” he said, catching her hand and kissing it. “You never did answer my question about making love.”
“Yes, I did,” she said softly. “I’m still here.”
Leaning down, Matt gave her another slow, long, hot kiss, his lips devouring hers, filling her with more heat and desire than she thought a person could ever have with her clothes still on.
“Let’s go inside,” she whispered. “I have this sudden inexplicable urge to be naked.”
“I think I’m in heaven,” Matt said, taking her hand.
He unlocked the back door to the house. Inside, he flipped it shut and hit the dead bolt. She raised an eyebrow.
“Just in case Frankie decides to roam the neighborhood looking for fun.”
“Frankie wouldn’t do any—”
He pulled her into his arms and began to kiss her, starting at her mouth.
“Such—”
He laid another kiss on her cheek and then moved to the curve of her chin.
“Thing,” she finished as Matt’s mouth skipped past the neckline of her halter dress to her shoulder.
He moved around her to lick his tongue down the bared skin of her back and then up to her neck. “What were you saying about Frankie?” he murmured.
“Frankie who?” she whispered back as he ever so slowly pulled open the zipper down the back of her dress. She wore a strapless bra, and his fingers unhooked that, too, never once ceasing his kisses on the sensitive part of her neck. Once she was unzipped and unhooked, he slipped his hands under the linen of her dress to cup her breasts.
“I have wanted you since the first time I saw you,” he told her, his voice husky in between kisses. “You are so beautiful.”
“You don’t need to talk, Matt. Just make love to me.” Gina didn’t want to hear anything false tonight. Matt’s implying to Luke that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him came back to haunt her now. If he had lied, she didn’t want to know. During all of her times with Mac, she’d never felt anything with him like what she was feeling now, all this erotic desire, and the fact that love could in no way be involved in frightening her. Gina didn’t want to hear Matt say that her body was beautiful, and that he’d never made love to anyone like her. She didn’t want to hear him say anything at all, because then she would have to think about the truth of what she was doing. If she did that, she would pull away and go home, and she didn’t want to.
His thumbs rubbed the rosy peaks of her breasts, and her head fell back against him. She pressed herself against his hardness and moved her hips in a circle in time to his movement, wanting to entice him, wanting to thrill him as much as he was exciting her.
Since his hands were occupied, she unbuttoned the neck of her dress. It dropped down past her waist Matt pulled it all the way off, revealing her lacy bikini panties.
He groaned as pure pleasure cascaded through him. Hearing the sound, Gina turned and covered his mouth with her own, just in case he was going to make a comment. But speech seemed the last thing on his mind as he slipped his hand down over her most vulnerable place.
His hand was warm and big, and in the panties she was next to naked. As she rode his hand she began to throb inside and finally understood what made men’s bodies react with the abrupt suddenness that they did. Chemistry. Pure physical reaction. This was sex at its most basic level.
Sex. Not love. It was all right, Gina told herself. Later, she’d justify this somehow. Right now, she just wanted Matt desperately.
Their mouths locked together, and she bent and began unbuttoning his shirt with an urgency that he was feeling, too. He broke away and helped her with the buttons.
“We’re in the kitchen,” he pointed out.
Finishing his shirt, she flashed him a wicked smile. “Haven’t you heard good sex doesn’t depend on where you do it—it’s the how that counts?”
“Yeah, well, my how won’t work on a kitchen table,” he said, grinning.
“Are you sure about that?” she asked.
“Take my word for it.” He wrapped his arms around her. “My how is a lover of luxury and softness,” he added, sliding his palms down to cup her buttocks.
Gina wet her bottom lip as he pressed his hardness into her and began to kiss her neck. She had to swallow before she could say, “Your how seems very happy right where it is.”
“You have a point,” he muttered against her neck. “Oh, Gina, women don’t come any softer or sweeter than you.”
Gina realized if she did nothing else but bring Matt an hour of true happiness this evening, it might be more than he’d had in a long time. Somehow, she wanted to make his life all right for him again, and if she could do that while assuaging this hunger for him she felt inside her, well, then, a lot of people never got—or gave—even that much.
“I think we’d be a lot more comfortable upstairs,” Matt whispered. His mouth sucked on her ear, doing wild, wonderful things to the intensity of her desire for him. For a second, Gina couldn’t move, and really didn’t care where she was. But then Matt lifted her straight up until her toes no longer touched the floor and, kissing her, half eased her through the doorway into the living room. They made it as far as the sofa, an oversized, overstuffed monstrosity that Mr. Tuttle had supplied for Matt. It was like lying back on a cushioned cloud.
Matt eased off his jeans, and Gina pulled his shirt off. The intensity of her desire made her brush her lips across his nipples. It made her more reckless at lovemaking than she’d ever been in her whole life—and she didn’t care.
Naked, supporting his weight on his arms, he slid over her, nuzzling her neck and running his tongue over her now-hot skin. She pushed her breasts up against his rock solid chest, feeling his muscles moving as he rubbed against her softness. For once, Gina didn’t think about tomorrow, wasn’t planning out every second of her life, wasn’t worrying about everyone else. For once she was living for herself, being wildly selfish…
“And loving it!” she whispered as she opened her thighs and lifted her hips, ever so slightly.
“I’m glad to hear that.” He slid into her easily, like they’d been built for each other, and then, with great control, he stopped moving and looked into Gina’s eyes. They were wide, framed by dark lashes, and seemed to hold the secrets of the universe—the secrets he’d been searching for since he’d first been left alone. He became lost in her smile, and in the sweetness and softness he’d been wanting for so long. It was like he’d finally found what was missing in his life—and he was sad because he knew he’d never be able to hold on to it.
Sensing his distress, Gina lifted her arms and slipped them around his neck, pulling him close and forcing him back into motion. She gave her all to him, and he made love to her as tenderly and unselfishly as he could, cursing himself inwardly because he knew he was only going to end up hurting her.
Gina had never felt so sexual, so free, as she did when finally her body shuddered with the release it had been seeking since…since…since the day she’d first eyed Matt Gallagher. When Matt tumbled over the precipice with her and then rested on top of her, she lay still, her eyes closed, thinking.
She couldn’t let Matt disappear from her life yet. But what exactly she expected out of him that he’d be able to give her she didn’t know. More sex? If she were willing to settle for that, no matter how wonderful it was with him, she was going against everything she’d ever believed about the sanctity and goodness of love. She didn’t want to have changed like that.
But after what had just happened, she was very afraid she already had.
8
Later, as she lay curled in Matt’s arms upstairs in his bed, Gina concluded that there was only one way she could keep Matt in Bedley Hills for a while longer.
“You win, Matt,” she said softly, running her fingers up his biceps. “I’ll pretend to be your wife again.”
Matt shifted her until she had to look up at him. “What made you change your
mind?”
“The fact that practicing was so much fun?” she quipped, wiggling both eyebrows suggestively. He gave her a wry grin, but the question was still in his eyes. She couldn’t answer it. She wasn’t ready yet to say anything about her real reason for giving in, not when she had so many doubts in her mind that she could ever make a relationship work with Matt.
Before she’d spoken, Matt had been thinking about his visit with his father. Now that Luke was positive he was unhappy, Matt’s inclinations told him to visit again and this time do the job right. Except now he was thinking more of Gina than of himself. Until a second ago, she hadn’t wanted to return, hadn’t wanted to keep lying. Now she was willing, just for him, just because they had made love.
It wasn’t right. Just knowing him was warping her, changing her into someone who would compromise her principles, and Matt couldn’t stand to see that happen. He wasn’t worth it, because he could never be the man she wanted. So there was only one thing left for him to do.
“I’m calling it off, Gina,” he told her, cradling her in his arms. “I’ve changed my mind about lying to my father.”
“So you’re going to tell him the truth?” Gina asked, turning over and searching his shaded eyes, a surge of excitement skittering through her. If Matt came to terms with his past, then maybe he could open himself up and become the kind of man who could offer her what she needed—security, commitment and, above all else, love.
“No, I’m going to leave Bedley Hills.” He stared down at her, watching her reaction. “Tomorrow.”
Gina’s excitement that she might have longer to help Matt was abruptly replaced by dismay and disappointment. He was bailing out not only on his father, but on her. She thought that a man who’d changed his life like Matt had ought to have more strength of character than he was showing. But apparently, she was wrong. Matt’s way was to walk away from people before he got hurt. She didn’t know if she could change him, but she did know that she had to try.
Matt frowned as he watched her face mirror her dismay. He felt bad for her, but it was best he got out now, early, while she still had her heart intact. “I warned you I wasn’t good for much.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, letting her fingers walk up his chest and forcing herself to smile, just as she always had when her parents were at their worst. Before she made him face what he was doing, she wanted to soften him up and make sure he realized she was not the enemy. “I thought you were very good for at least—” she glanced at the clock “—the last hour and a half.”
His lips curved into a slow grin. Gina thought he even looked relieved she wasn’t arguing about his leaving. “I was that good, huh?” he asked. “Hope that rumor doesn’t get around. The women will swarm on me like bees on honey.”
“Ha! I should have known better than to try to build up a man’s ego—it works, and you pay.”
“Haven’t you ever heard—be careful what you wish for? You might get it?”
“I got it, all right,” Gina said, rolling onto her elbow, leaning forward and running her tongue down the side of his neck. She didn’t know if he was softening up, but she could honestly say she’d never felt more relaxed in her life.
“If I’m that good, should I get a barbed wire fence to keep the women away?”
She stopped what she was doing and grinned back at him. “Did you ever need it before?”
“To keep women away? Nope. I seem to do that all on my own. But I can honestly say I’ve related better to you than to any other woman I’ve ever met”
“That’s probably because I’m a sucker for kids and stray animals—”
“I’m not a kid, so I must be an animal, huh? Did you come to that conclusion from the last hour and a half?”
“I was about to add, and lonely hearts, but if you want to be an animal, Matt—” flipping onto her back, she flung her arms over her head, exposing her breasts “—then go for it.”
Grinning, Matt began another stream of kisses up and down the slopes of her breasts. It wasn’t until much later, when he lay resting against her, both of them drifting with the sweet peace of lovemaking, that Gina remembered that he was leaving in the morning. The glorious feeling inside her fled, replaced by an anxiousness she couldn’t remember ever feeling. She had to do something.
“Have you changed your mind about leaving?” she whispered.
Gina felt his chest heave against hers as he sighed and pushed himself off her. “I’m still going. I can’t tangle you up in this mess I’ve made any further.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Pausing for a second, she added, “If you stay a few more days and resolve this thing with your father, we could play husband and wife until you tell him the truth.”
He didn’t reply. That was encouraging, Gina thought. If she had that much affect on him, maybe she could weaken his resolve. “You need to try again, Matt”
Matt didn’t know what to say. He had been looking most of his life for someone who could give him the same feeling of belonging, of stand-by-your-side loyalty that West had, and he’d never found anyone who’d measured up—until Gina. Could he try to change just for her? Did she have the kind of loyalty he needed, the kind of caring he’d been desperately searching for? If he tried a relationship with Gina, would he warm up a little as a human being? Could she teach him to love? Matt felt gut-wrenching, cold fear. He didn’t know, and he had to admit he was scared to death to find out and risk disappointment.
How much easier it was to go through life cold and unfeeling. If you didn’t get involved emotionally, you didn’t suffer. He shouldn’t have taken Gina to bed. Now he was thinking of things that could never be.
“I have to be settled in Virginia by the first of the month,” he said, still watching her. “If I stay, it’ll only be that much worse for both of us when I leave.”
“Will it be worse for us if you leave later?” she asked gently. “Or will it be worse for you because you’ll be sticking around, lying to your father when you know you aren’t happy?”
Matt stiffened inside. It had been so easy to avoid this kind of self-examination in the past, but now Gina’s questions were hanging in his mind. His need to make his own decisions fought with his desire to make Gina happy, and he had a feeling she wouldn’t be until he proved to her he was doing the right thing with his life.
Rolling off the bed, he reached for his jeans.
“You’ve been running from your past for a long, long time, Matt,” she said, trying to make him talk this out. “Isn’t it time you faced it and fought to be happy?”
His fingers rested on the snap of his jeans as he regarded her with his solemn dark eyes. “Have you always been like this, Gina? Reaching out, caring for everyone but yourself?”
“Of course I care for myself.” She met his gaze stare for stare.
“Then why isn’t someone as sweet as you already married with a family of your own? Why are you playing mama bear to all the kids and half the adults in the neighborhood instead of finding some nice guy who will treat you like a princess and give you kids of your own to spoil?”
Her chin jutted out and her eyes filled with tears. He was so obviously telling her that he wasn’t the man for her. She’d known that, but still, knowing that there was no hope for them hurt.
Reaching out, Matt brushed his fingers along her neck and the silky ends of her hair. “Maybe you had to meet me so you’d start trying again to find someone else, I don’t know. I do think you’re as good as I am at not facing your problems, Gina. Maybe after I leave, you’ll choose to stop hiding, too. When you .do, you’ll see it isn’t as easy as you think.” Abruptly, he reached for his shirt and headed toward the door. “I’m taking a walk. Stay as long as you like.”
As he walked out the door, Matt knew he shouldn’t have said what he did to her. He had no right. Every piece of him felt low-down and guilty for taking things so far with Gina. His only excuse—and it was a pitiful one—was that she was so sweet, so warm and so good
that he’d been desperate to latch onto everything that she was. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. With his past, he never wanted to hurt anybody—he knew too well how bad it felt. But he couldn’t go back to comfort her, because nothing had changed, and he’d only make her hurt worse.
Damn him, anyway! After Matt left, Gina lay back on the pillows, wiping away tears and feeling like her heart was breaking. Matt was wrong. She wasn’t hiding; she embraced life, and she never lied to herself.
So why was she crying? Because she’d compromised her principles and had sex with a man she didn’t love? She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t think that was it, if only because she’d never had any expectations about tonight.
A few minutes later, she finally pushed herself out of bed, started dressing and began to figure out the answer. She was upset because, just like with her parents and most of the couples she’d counseled, she hadn’t changed a thing for Matt. She’d failed him, just like she’d failed the others. And right along with that went her horrible realization that, like everyone else she’d met in life except for Mac, Matt didn’t need her.
Now he was determined to leave. Well, let him. Her life would go on. Sure, she liked and admired him. But he was a troubled man, and she didn’t need that in her life. She’d just go on as she had—without men—and she’d force herself to be happy. Status quo. Alone and liking it.
She’d be alone. Buttoning her dress, she paused to wipe away fresh tears, and then, suddenly, she sank down on the bed. Alone and liking it? Who was she kidding? Since Mac had died, she hadn’t been as involved with anything or anyone as she’d been with Matt. He was the first challenge she’d met with open arms in a long time, and he exhilarated her. Here she was letting him walk right out of her life instead of fighting to really help him and beat her losing streak! The going had gotten rough again, and Matt was right—she was wimping out and retreating.
He might be right, she thought, but she’d be damned if Matt was going to have the last word in this. Slipping into her shoes, she started toward the stairs, fully dressed and absolutely resolute. One more time. She had to try one more time to succeed in helping him. In the process, maybe she would even help herself.
The One-Week Wife Page 10