by Suzy Shearer
“Marie, can you make some coffee for us? We’ll be in the atrium.”
She beamed at him. “Oh, thank you, Mister Dan.” Worriedly she asked, “Is he all right?”
“He’ll be fine.”
“I’ll make the coffee now.”
Dan went back to Alex and sat opposite him. “What on earth got into you, Alex? From the moment you met Kallie the other night you became a complete arsehole. I’ve never seen you act the way you did around a woman. Yes, you’re normally in control, but you were insufferable.”
“I know. I had this gut reaction as soon as I saw her. I was actually too frightened to speak. Then when she slipped and called me sir, I wanted her. I went crazy, no other excuse.”
“Crazy’s putting it mildly, mate. You were fucking domineering and rude!”
“Don’t remind me! I was so scared I’d say something wrong at dinner and she’d think I was a moron, so I figured it was better to keep my big mouth shut.”
“Well, whatever your reason it came off as plain rude. It was as if you were insulting her on purpose.”
“Don’t remind me. And then I ignored the fact that she’s already collared!” he said remorsefully and put his head in his hands groaning.
Dan had to listen carefully as he muttered, “She was right—I am an arrogant, conceited bastard.”
“Yes, you are at times you know. Funny thing is, if you act natural, you’re not. Look at how you are around Stacy, around Lucia and Marie. You laugh and joke with them.”
Muffling his voice through his hands, he said, “They’re different, Dan. I don’t have anything to prove with them. I don’t have to be in control.” He looked up. “There’s absolutely no chance I could fall for them or them for me, well, except for Stacy.”
Dan grinned. “You’ve spent too many years believing what your parents told you. You’ve stayed hidden behind your Dom persona, and now you don’t know how to act around a beautiful woman.”
“I know.”
He sounded irritated as he confessed. “Damn, Dan, I don’t want to feel like this about a woman!”
Dan couldn’t help it. His laughter echoed out across the grounds as Marie walked in with a tray laden with coffee and tiny sweet biscuits. She placed it on the table next to Alex. Dan thanked her, and she smiled at him, thanking him once again with her eyes for bringing Alex back off the beach. Dan reached out and poured coffee for himself and Alex.
“And just how do you feel about this woman?” he asked, grabbing a handful of biscuits.
“She’s in my head, Dan!” His eyes looked haunted as he stared at Dan. “I can’t think straight.” He sounded terrified as he wailed, “I even dream about her!”
“Oh, Alex.” Dan tried hard not to laugh again. “Alex, you’ve got it bad.”
“What the fuck are you grinning about?” He glared at Dan.
“You! I warned you. Alex, you can’t wander around life on the sidelines expecting it to act the way you want. Sooner or later you’re going to get roped in. Looks like it’s finally happened to you.”
“Well, fat lot of good it’ll do. One, Ms. Robins is already collared, and two, she told me point-blank she never wants to see me again! I think her words were ‘Go to hell.’”
Dan wondered if he should tell Alex Kallie only wore her collar for protection because she was no longer in a relationship. But then Kallie had obviously had enough with Alex. Not that he blamed her. The way Alex had acted the other night was more than downright rude and, if what Alex told him was true, then last night he was an absolute arsehole. Still Alex would be angry with him if he ever found out. Dan valued their friendship more than anything. He considered Alex his brother as well as his friend. He had to tell him.
“Alex, Kallie isn’t collared. At least she sort of is, but the Dom she was in a relationship with died three years ago.”
“Fuck, Dan!” he whined. “Why the hell did you tell me that?”
“Because if you found out later you’d be pissed with me off big time.”
“I’m pissed at you now,” he said bitterly.
“No you’re not. You just angry because Kallie doesn’t want to see you again.”
Alex ran his hand through his hair making it stand up even more. “I promised her I would never go near her again and I won’t. I’ve made a fool enough of myself without inflicting my presence on someone who doesn’t want it.” He sounded so wretched.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I really am. I like her, but she’s obviously seen enough of you.”
“Yeah I’m pretty sure she hates me,” he replied glumly.
Dan poured another coffee for himself, and as they sat drinking, Dan could see Alex looked better, even though he sounded so miserable. It was unfortunate that Kallie didn’t like him, but he knew Alex as an honourable man, despite this momentary lapse and he wouldn’t pursue her. Dan changed the subject.
“I’ve arranged for a doctor to come tomorrow and inoculate all of you for yellow fever and rabies. That will mean everyone’s shots are up to date. He’ll also issue malaria tablets to you all.”
“Thanks, Dan.”
They sat and talked about the upcoming filming. Alex looked lost, and his answers showed a distinct lack of interest when Dan got to his feet.
“I’m going back to the office. See you in the morning.”
“Okay. Thanks, Dan. Look, I think I might fly out to Alaska. I’ve been thinking about doing a doco on polar bears. I might go and look at some sites for filming about them and the impact the loss of ice is having.”
“What?”
“I need to get away. You don’t need me in the office.”
Dan looked at his friend. He felt at a loss to help Alex. “If you’re sure.”
Alex nodded. “I’ll come in tomorrow for the shots and then come back here and pack. I’ll leave as soon as I can get a flight the next day.”
“This isn’t like you, Alex.”
“I know, Dan. Maybe some time in the wilderness will make me feel better. It’ll help get past this fiasco with Kallie. Although I doubt anything will help me forget what a fucking idiot I’ve been.”
“Okay, Alex.”
They shook hands and Dan left. As he drove back to the office he wondered about his friend. He’d never seen him like this. He just hoped he’d be able to get over Kallie. A man who’d never experienced love by his age would fall hard and fast. Maybe some time away would help he hoped so.
* * * *
Alex came into the office for a few hours the next day. He got his PA, Janice, to arrange flights to Fairbanks and accommodation for him. She discovered a company offering small tour groups. It operated in the waters surrounding Barter Island within the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. They had special permits from the US Fish and Wildlife Service to run the small tours. Janice rang them and found they had a short three-day tour starting early Sunday morning. There were two other people booked in with the tour, so she added Alex.
Often Alex went on a guided tour when he started thinking about a documentary. It enabled him to get the best information from local people and plan whether to take things further. He thanked Janice.
He’d been hoping to stay away longer, but a few days’ break might help him to put things into perspective and push Kallie from his mind.
Alex had driven himself in so he headed home and spent time packing. Fortunately, he had plenty of warm gear from last year when they had spent four weeks in northern Nagano Prefecture in Japan during the winter. The company had made a documentary about the Japanese macaques living in Jigokudani Park in Yamanouchi.
Close to six he finished packing his clothes for the trip and checked his camera gear. He told Marie he’d be back for dinner at seven and drove over to Dan’s to say good-bye to him and Stacy. He spent the hour with them and then went home.
When he flew out the following morning, Kallie was still foremost in his mind. Somehow he needed to get back on track and forget all about her.
Chapter Six
Kallie had spent the evening crying and feeling miserable after Alex walked out. She’d gotten such a surprise when she received the beautiful flowers, but when she read the card she cried even more.
She couldn’t understand any of her reactions—her fury at his arrogant behaviour, at the way he’d treated her, at the way she’d obeyed his request to dinner. But when he’d come into her room, and apologised, and then promised he would never approach her again, she felt a sense of loss. Then she’d become angry at herself for feeling this way.
Even when she was trying to hate him, she found herself thinking of him and wanting to feel his touch. If she were honest with herself, this was the first time she’d felt more than a passing interest in a man. No, that was wrong. It wasn’t just interest. He excited her. He was so in control, assertive and so domineering. It hit her all the right places, yet those very traits were also what made her infuriated with him. Well, he was out of her life now, so Kallie just had to put it all behind her.
Around ten Kallie decided she needed to talk to someone. She needed another sub to spill it all out to. She rang Dan’s number.
“Hello, Dan Taylor speaking.”
“Hello, Dan. It’s Kallie.”
“Kallie! Hi. How are you?”
“Um…okay. I was wondering if Stacy would like to have lunch with me.”
“I'm sure she’d love to.”
“You have no objection?”
“Heavens no! Stacy does whatever she likes.”
“Oh. I wasn’t sure.”
Dan laughed. “She’s only my sub in the bedroom, Kallie. Outside of that she’s the boss.”
Kallie smiled at the idea. She and Peter had held a similar arrangement.
“You can call her. Her number is the same as this one except with a three on the end instead of four.”
“Thanks, Dan. Appreciate it. Bye.”
She hung up and quickly dialled Stacy. When Stacy answered, Kallie asked her if she like to have lunch. Stacy agreed but suggested Kallie go there because Stacy was working this morning but would be free by midday. She asked if Kallie wanted her to send a car to pick her up, and Kallie thanked her and accepted. It reminded her she would have to look at buying a car as soon as possible.
At eleven forty-five Kallie met the driver outside the Hilton. He expertly and quickly drove to the house. They pulled up around twelve-twenty and Stacy greeted her at the front.
“I’m so glad you called Kallie. I really wanted to spend some girl time with you.”
“I’m glad, too.”
The two women walked inside.
“I hope I haven’t stopped you from working, Stacy.”
“No. I run an organisation. It’s for providing education to disadvantaged families. We’re trying to get more kids—and adults—to go to university, so we provide scholarships. A reason a lot of kids don’t go further is because they have to work. The family income is just too low. We try and find better-paying employment for parents so their children don’t have to drop out.”
“How long have you been doing that?”
“Since I met Dan and we became involved. He’s got plenty of money.” She giggled. “I have a reasonable amount in my own right, but he’s loaded. Anyway, we talked about things to do, and I mentioned it. Somehow, it just grew from that. Dan has actually employed a few people who needed work.
“So come and sit down.” She led the way into the bright living room, and they sat on comfortable couches. “Lucia has made some of her delicious cannelloni. Should be ready in about half an hour.”
“Yum, I love Italian food.”
“That’s good. Lucia and her husband have been with Dan since forever. Her husband’s Aldo, the man who picked you up. Aldo was born here, but Lucia came out here from Italy when she was fourteen with her family. It’s funny because her sister Marie is Alex’s housekeeper.”
At the sound of Alex’s name Kallie felt her face change to sadness. She tried to look away quickly, but Stacy had spotted it.
Exasperated she asked, “What’s the fool done now?”
Kallie would never know what came over her, but at Stacy’s words she burst into tears. Stacy quickly jumped up from her seat, sat alongside Kallie, and held her hand. Kallie managed to hiccup few times between sobs. When she stopped crying she poured out everything that had happened last night.
“You’re joking? I can’t believe he’d be that stupid.”
Kallie shook her head. “Then after he left he sent the most beautiful vase of flowers I’ve ever received. He wrote a note apologising and telling me he would never bother me again.”
“That’s just not Alex. I mean he is a bloody arrogant bastard with his subs but to act the way he did. It just isn’t him. He’s never done anything like that before. Who was the woman who hit him?”
“I can’t remember her name. She was really beautiful. Alex said she was his sub until recently.”
“Pamela?”
“Yes, that was it.”
“She lasted longer than most of his subs. They all think they’ll be the one to change his mind and make him fall in love with them. It never happens and, when they realise it, they leave.” Stacy looked thoughtful. “I bet she thought you were her replacement and was shocked to see a collar around your neck, especially only after a month.”
“Right. That’s what he said. I shouldn’t be so upset. I can’t understand it at all.”
Stacy laughed. “I can. Unfortunately Alex is bloody irresistible. I mean the man is gorgeous, yet he doesn’t think he is. There’s such an animal magnetism about him. Plus he’s so in control and a great Dom, very caring and looks after his sub.”
Kallie looked at her critically. “That sounds like the voice of experience.”
Stacy shrugged. “I had a tiny fling as Alex’s sub before I met Dan. Dan was overseas working on one of their documentaries when I met Alex. He swept me off my feet. I was twenty-nine. I’d been a sub all my adult life and had a few relationships but never met anyone I’d like to stay with forever. Anyway when I met Alex, he was without a sub, and next thing I knew we were talking about a contract.”
“Contract, yeah he mentioned that, too.”
“I’ll say one thing about Alex. He is upfront and honest from the start. He told me he would never collar me that it was purely a sexual relationship and nothing else. I was a bit taken aback, but he was so delicious, I wanted to taste.”
Stacy laughed.
“Anyway, we were only just starting our Dom-sub thing. I think it was only two weeks old when Dan came home. I took one look at him and fell in love. Immediately I told Alex it was over. I was honest and told him why. He was fine with it, and we actually became friends. But, of course, then I had to wait until Dan took notice of me, but Alex was helping me. Still, as they say, the rest is history.”
“Was Dan upset that you’d been with Alex?”
“No. I know they swapped subs a few times. Anyway, Alex was happy for Dan and me. He actually arranged for us to meet when he saw how besotted I was with Dan. You saw how relaxed he is with us the other night before he realised you were there. That’s the real Alex.”
“What gives? Why he is such a cold Dom?”
Stacy explained about his parents. “They fought all through his childhood. From things he’s told Dan, it wasn’t good. His earliest memories are of them fighting and screaming at each other. They would actually parade their lovers in the house to annoy each other. On top of that he had a series of nannies. None of them stayed long either. Probably couldn’t put up with his parents. It meant that as a child, there was no stable influence just his crazy, angry parents. “So now Alex is terrified of falling in love, only to have the relationship fall apart.”
Stacy looked sad. “That’s why he refuses to collar any sub. Why he won’t see a woman socially. I’ve never known him to go out with a woman just for the fun of it. He keeps an emotional hold on himself. Mind you, he treats his sub well—takes her to dinner but never
has a woman sleep over. Invariably Charles, that’s Marie’s husband and Alex’s driver, takes them home. Alex makes sure he keeps his distance from them.”
“But that’s crazy! How can you go through life holding your emotions in check?”
“I know. Dan and I have told him exactly that so many times over the years, but he refuses to let anyone get close, and he keeps his heart locked up tight. That is until now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve never known him to act the way he has with you. Let’s face it. He thinks you’re collared and thinks you have a partner, yet he assumed you and he would have a relationship. That just isn’t Alex. He respects another man’s sub.”
“I’m so confused, Stacy. I guess in a way I’ve locked my emotions up, too. I’ve not been with anyone for three years, not had sex for four.”
She explained about Peter and the reactions of men after his death. “I just didn't want to take a chance on those who may have been genuine. I guess I just wasn’t ready for a relationship so it became my guard.”
“I can understand that completely, but now?”
“That damn man has got to me!”
Stacy had to laugh. “Well what do you want to do about it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you want to forget all about him or do you want to have one of his emotionless Dom-sub relationships?”
“I don’t think I could do emotionless, Stacy, no matter how attracted I am to him.”
“Yes, it would be horrible.” Stacy started to grin. “I know. You should give him a taste of his own medicine, treat him with cold indifference.” She laughed. “Just use him for sex only.”
Stacy cocked her head and looked at Kallie. “No, I know what you want. You need to make him finally come to his senses and both of you fall in love with each other forever.”
“How could anyone have a chance with him?” Kallie admitted as a few stray tears escaped again.
Stacy hugged her. She waited until Kallie stopped crying. “I think you want to fall in love with him if your reaction is like this.”