Faith got to her feet, wishing she could back up slightly but the couch hampered her efforts. Shane was way too close. “Well, uh, no problem.” She swallowed hard. “But, just so you know, it's because we're friends, right? Friends forgive each other and it's all good, and—”
Shane took her hand in both of his own making her swallow turn into a gulp. “Is that what you want? Friendship?”
She stared at him in a daze, wondering what he meant. Was she being presumptuous? “If you don't want to be friends, I get that, I really do. Especially after everything that's happened.”
His eyes widened under furrowed brows. “Girl, you are something else.” He smiled suddenly and dropped her hand. “If I don't see you during the week, I'll see you Saturday.” He leaned an inch closer. “I'm looking forward to it.”
Faith nodded like a marionette. “Uh, yeah. Sounds good.” She pulled in a shaky breath. “And thanks for dinner. That was really sweet.”
“Anytime.”
She watched as he crossed the room and grabbed his coat. With one last smile, he walked out the front door. Faith stared at the panels for a moment, then flopped onto the couch.
Get a grip...girl.
Chapter Twelve
The rest of Faith's week should have been angst free. After all, she'd seen hide nor hair nor beautiful brown eyes of Shane. No quick visits to the office or offers of dinner. So why was she twitchy and anxious and having a hard time concentrating?
Faith scowled at her computer screen, wondering why the text on the latest brochure wouldn't behave. Editing copy wasn't her forte on a good day and trying to extol the glories of alpine meadows when all she could think about was the warmth of Shane's smile, well, meeting her deadline would be a challenge.
“How are things going, Faith?”
Faith jumped at the sound of Merle's voice. She smoothed her expression before turning around in her chair. “Okay, I think, although my descriptive powers seem to be waning at the moment.”
The older man peered at her face while smiling. “Maybe it's because today is Friday. I remember having a hard time concentrating if I had weekend plans.”
“Then I guess I don't have an excuse. I don't really have weekend plans.”
“Oh, I thought Shane told me you were working on the photograph tomorrow.”
Faith thought of what Shane had said about Merle thinking she spent too much time alone. “He mentioned it, but at the point we're at with the image, he doesn't really need my input.”
Merle's gentle smile faded a bit. “I see. Well, will I be seeing you at church then?”
“Yes.” She hoped her smile was reassuring. “I'm looking forward to it.”
“Think you might even make it into the sanctuary?”
She chuckled. “Definitely.”
“Good, that's what I hoped to hear.” He patted her shoulder then returned to his office.
Faith watched him go. If anything, she should be the one worried about him. Maybe while she was in church, she'd spy for any single ladies she could encourage his way. With a new plan to set in motion, she returned to her edits, determined to finish before five.
***
Faith burrowed out of the blankets at the insistent sound of the phone ringing. She groped the nightstand, located the phone, then pulled it under blankets. “Hello?”
“Hey! I didn't wake you, did I?”
Shane.
“Uh, no comment.” Faith shoved the blankets back and pushed her hair out of her face. Why was she not surprised Mr. Positive was also a morning person? She glanced at the clock. Seven thirty. On a Saturday. Ugh.
“I know it's a little early to call, but I have to pick up a friend's shift later, and I was hoping to get together before that.”
“For what?”
“He just called in sick.”
Faith closed her eyes. “I didn't mean your co-worker, I meant why do we need to get together?”
“We agreed to last week.”
“Oh, well, I thought it was kind of a tentative thing, like if you ended up needing my help, which I'm sure you don't.”
“Actually I do.” He paused. “I went through some of my unpublished photos and cobbled together a composite. I wanted to get your opinion to see if it works, or if we should get fresh shots.”
Well, at least she had given him an out. “Um, what time were you thinking?”
“I can be there in ten minutes.”
Faith flopped back against the pillows. “Make it twenty.”
She heard his grin when he said, “See you then.”
As soon as he hung up, Faith sprang into action. There wasn't time for a shower, so she scrubbed her face and teeth, brushed her hair, dabbed on some makeup and changed out of her pajamas. The doorbell sounded.
Goodness the man was prompt!
She opened the door and he came in, bringing a draft of brisk air with him.
“Thanks for seeing me so early. I was hoping you'd be up.”
“Um, yeah.” Faith stared up at him, thinking the phrase 'bright-eyed and bushy-tailed' was created for him. She wasn't sure such a cheerful, early-riser could really ever be trusted.
“I only have an hour before I have to go in. Is your laptop on? I brought my flash drive.”
Laptop. Right. She went over and powered it on, then scooted into the kitchen to start coffee—and to give herself a moment to chill. After she flipped the switch on the coffee maker, Shane ambled in. He smiled when he heard the coffee begin to drip into the carafe.
Faith got out cups and creamer, needing the activity. The reality that he made her nervous bothered her, but she couldn't seem to control the fluctuations in her pulse when he was around.
“Speaking of coffee, I was wondering if you had any plans after church tomorrow.”
Her hands still for a moment, then she turned to face him. Not by the flicker of an eyelid would she alert him to the state of her heart rate. Her stupid eye twitched anyway. “Er, what did you have in mind?”
“I have to work tomorrow, too, and I wanted to know if you'd like to head up the Coffee Pot Trail with me. They want me to check out the fire conditions, see how dry it is. I have office work in the morning, so if you wanted to meet me at the ranger station, we could head up together.”
Faith worried her bottom lip, wishing her crazy heartrate would take a break. “So this isn't about the contest photo?”
“No, but you should bring your camera anyway.”
She wanted to ask why he wanted her company but was afraid of the answer. “I'll need some time to change after church.”
“No problem. Just let me know when you're on your way.”
Faith nodded absently, turning to the coffee maker, willing it to hurry up.
“I'll go upload the image,” Shane said.
When he was gone, she eased out a sigh between her teeth. What was wrong with her? She was reacting like a schoolgirl. It was beyond ridiculous. Anyway, better not to get her heart all in a twist when Shane was undoubtedly just doing a favor for Merle.
But what if he wasn't? What if he's...attracted to me? Her eyes widened at the possibility while her hands latched tightly to one another. She thought about it for the space a several heartbeats, then took the easy way out. Nah.
When the coffee was done, she poured two cups, set them on a tray with the creamer and spoons and brought them into the living room. Shane got up from the desk chair at her entrance.
He motioned toward the laptop on the desk. “Tell me what you think.”
Faith set the tray down on the coffee table and approached the computer. The image filled the screen, the colors vibrant and glowing. In each major striation a shadow of another image had been beautifully superimposed, representing the qualities of the
state they'd agreed on.
“Be honest,” Shane said, coming to stand behind her. “I just used what I had to give an idea of what the finished product might look like.”
“I like the composition of each layer.” That was an understatement. Each level was perfectly positioned in relation to the next, giving the image movement and interest.
“Yeah, I thought about having them start at the left on top then make their way across the hill to the right, but the result was too cheesy.”
“It looks great, Shane. As usual, I'm impressed.”
“Like I said, it's not the final. Tell me what, if anything, absolutely fits, and what should be tweaked.”
Faith stared at the image, knowing she was in the presence of an artist. She looked up at him. “Seriously, this is exactly how I imagined it when we came up with the idea. I think we should submit it, as is.”
Shane made a face as he looked at the image, then back at her. “I might want to play around a bit more.” Then he raised a brow. “Hey, you're not just saying that to avoid spending more time with me, are you?”
Faith pursed her lips, glad for the light moment. “You got me.”
He grinned. “Maybe I'll have to figure out some other way to woo you if photography fails.”
Faith's smile disappeared. She turned away and fiddled with her coffee cup. Was Shane just a shameless flirt? Or was he serious? If he was just doing a favor for Merle, did he realize how he sounded? She sent a prayerful complaint heavenward. Lord, this is why I don't date. I just can't tell which end is up.
“Faith?”
She took a sip of coffee to mask her discomfiture. “Go ahead and change up the images if you want, but seriously, I think what you have is perfect.”
When he was silent, she twisted around and saw him gazing at her, his expression troubled. “Okay. I'll keep you posted.”
She motioned toward the coffee. “Do you want cream or sugar?”
“Black is fine.”
She handed him the cup and he took a drink.
After a drawn out moment of awkward awkwardness, he set his cup down. “Faith,” he said, his voice low.
“I think,” she said, licking her lips, “I think if you don't hurry, you might be late for work.”
He glanced at his watch, then looked at her. “Okay,” he said softly. “I'll see you tomorrow.”
Faith watched him cross the room and go out the front door. After he drove away, she sagged onto the couch, terrified by what had not happened.
***
Faith slid into a pew just as the worship music began Sunday morning. After a fretful day of, well, fretting, she was eager to set her issues aside and focus on God—something she'd been remiss in doing for a long while. As the music washed over her, she closed her eyes and turned her mind toward the One who was bigger than her troubles and fears.
She was secretly glad Shane wasn't here. She needed this time to get centered and take stock. It had been a while she'd made it into the sanctuary. Staying busy was a whole lot easier than confronting her faults. One worship song blended to the next, each tugging at her heart. Then a hymn started that really caught her attention.
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
The words brought a sting of tears. In many ways it felt like she had been to the ends of the earth. It wasn't that long ago that she'd been struggling to keep her family together. It wasn't that long ago that she'd failed.
That failure had caused her to harden her heart. Hadn't she done everything possible? Hadn't she prayed so fervently through those years? Faith's lip began to quiver. She hated crying. She hated thinking of things that made her cry, but here she was, still crushed by the weight of her shortcomings. Had anything really changed?
She dashed the tears from her eyes and lifted her chin, determined to get through the service without blubbering. It took several minutes to get herself under control. And yet the song continued to work on her disturbed conscience. By the time she could open her eyes and breath easy, the worship portion of the service had ended. The pastor began a message on trusting in the Lord.
She tried to listen, but images of her past filled her mind until her heart felt about to explode—Hope and Charity upset at her for one thing or another, creditors on the phone, her mother caught up in her own private world of trauma, all bound together by the tottering fear of collapse. And hadn't she failed? Her mother had died. The twins decamped to parts unknown. The bank took back the house. What was left to show for her efforts? Even now, on her own and able to pay her bills, she still struggled. She was a pretend photographer for a kind man who thankfully did not have to depend financially on her skills. Add the presence of a certain ranger to the mix and times were still wonky—Faith Conrad style.
Trusting God for her salvation was the easy part. The day to day issues of life, not so much.
Faith experienced a small measure of relief when the service ended, then berated herself for such an attitude. But soul-searching only reminded her of her lack of success. She offered a prayer, begging for patience and understanding from God while at the same time knowing she couldn't offer it even to herself.
People around her began to stir as the congregation was dismissed. Merle saw her from one of the front pews and made his way down the aisle to greet her. His welcoming smile faltered. “Are you alright, dear?
She nodded and smiled brightly. “Aren't you proud I actually made it to the sanctuary?”
“Yes, yes. The sermon was especially meaningful today.”
Too bad I couldn't get past my own issues to listen. She heaved an inward sigh and wondered why she couldn't get things right. Maybe she needed more than a few Sundays. Seeing Merle reminded her she'd been intending to be on the lookout for a ladyfriend to set him up with, but she couldn't even seem to attempt a little matchmaking.
“I don't see Shane. Was he here today?”
“No, he had to cover for someone at work. But I'm going—” Faith stopped, wishing she'd kept her mouth shut.
“Where are you going?”
“Uh, Shane mentioned he was heading to Coffee Pot Trail so I'm going to tag along for a photo opp.”
He beamed. “That's wonderful. I'm so glad you're not going on the trails alone. I always worry about you when you head out on your own.”
So that was it. He was just worried for her safety. Of course, he needn't be. She was an experienced hiker. More experienced than Shane, even, but then Shane was a guy and Merle was a guy, and well, guys assumed they were better at these things. Still, it was nice that someone cared about her.
“I wish you wouldn't worry,” she said kindly. “I don't take big risks.” Well, there was that one time with the bear, but it was an anomaly. “Anyway, how are you doing? I feel like since Shane's been in town, I haven't seen you as much as usual.”
He chuckled and stroked his mustache. “Why would you want to hang around with someone like me with Shane in the picture? I'm just glad you're getting along with someone closer to you age.”
Hah. If he only knew.
“I'm so proud of him. He's been through a lot, and yet he was able with the Lord's help to surmount tremendous odds and succeed.” He leaned close. “I should think that would be real inspiring for you.”
“Um, yeah. It is,” Faith said, thinking Merle sounded like a cross between a proud parent and meaningful well-wisher. “You know, it's been ages since I had you over for dinner. Are you busy tonight?” She used to have him over about once a month. When had that changed?
“As a matter of fact, I am busy,” Merle said slowly, his eyes shifting away, “but you know, I bet Shane will be free after work.”
“Oh, okay then, another time.”
The older man's bushy white eyebrows twitched. “Then you will have Shane over? I hate to think of him at loose ends, especially on a Sunday.”
“Uh, well, I guess I could ask, but I'm not the only person in town he knows. He might already have plans with someone else.”
“You won't know unless you ask.”
Faith raised her brows in surprise at his insistence. Had Merle gone from worrying about her lack of friends to worrying about Shane's? “You're right, I won't.”
He smiled broadly, then looked once more around the sanctuary as if seeking someone.
She cleared her throat. “Well, if I'm going to meet him on time, I should head out. I'll see you tomorrow, Merle.”
“Have a nice time, young lady,” Merle said, turning back to her. “And don't get so caught up in the scenery that you don't realize what's right in front of you.”
Faith widened her eyes, having no clue what he meant. Surely Merle wasn't trying to matchmake. He was the polar opposite of one of those busybody types. Maybe he just wanted her to enjoy the spring weather? “Okay then. See you later.”
She puzzled over his words as she drove home. Maybe he meant that she couldn't see the forest for the trees. She giggled a little. She lived in Oregon. There were a lot of trees here—even in the eastern part of the state.
It didn't take long to go from street clothes to her hiking outfit—her hoodie, heavy-duty khakis and hiking boots. She stocked her backpack with trail snacks, water, her camera, and made sure her first aid kit was intact. It was a short drive to the ranger station. When she saw Shane's Jeep, her pulse jumped. Down girl, it's a car.
Shane came out of the office, as if he'd been waiting for her, looking all spiffy in his uniform. “All ready?”
She nodded.
“Okay, let's hit it.”
Glad for the lack of small talk, they clambered into the Jeep and hit the road. Coffee Pot Trail was in Wheeler County so the trip should only take an hour or so.
“So how was church?”
So much for quiet time. “Good.”
Rock and A Hard Place (Cascade Brides Series) Page 11