Rock and A Hard Place (Cascade Brides Series)

by Blythe, Bonnie

  “What was Pastor Jordan's sermon on?”

  “Trust.”

  “Ah. Easier said than done, eh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I know it was something I really struggled with after my father left. Classic abandonment issues and all that.”

  Faith knew something about those.

  “At first I had a hard time believing that God could really be there for me. If my own father couldn't hack it, how could God when he knew all my faults?”

  She studied his expression, waiting for him to continue.

  His eyes scanned the distance. “I eventually came to understand I didn't have to depend on my feelings. Even if I didn't feel God's nearness, I always know He is near, because He says so in the Bible. And His word is solid, like a rock.”

  Faith thought of the words of the song earlier, then forced her mind back to the conversation when she detected moisture building at the back of her lids.

  “In fact, since I've been a ranger surrounded by rocks here in the Western states, that means even more to me.”

  She murmured her agreement, then looked out the window. Is that what Merle meant by scenery? Rocks? Or do I just have rocks in my head?

  “How did you become a Christian?”

  Faith wasn't prepared for the question. And answering it might reveal what a muddle she'd made of things. She chose her words carefully. “When Merle gave me the job, he also invited me to church.”

  Shane's brown eyes captured hers for a moment. “And you went because he was your boss.”

  “Yes.” She swallowed. “But after a while, it became real to me.”

  “But life has still been a challenge.”

  Faith stiffened. What was he implying? That she wasn't doing it right? “Isn't it for everyone?”

  His smile gentled. “Yeah.”

  They quickly arrived at the trail head. Faith slipped out of the Jeep as soon as Shane parked. She had a bad feeling his promise not to get too personal had worn off. This could be a long afternoon. But at least her annoyance would keep her growing attraction at bay.

  Once they were situated with their gear, Shane asked her to lead. The hike was an easy one and well-marked, especially nice for her ankle that still panged her from time to time. They headed through thick pines as gray jays swooped overhead, chattering at the intrusion. Faith enjoyed the rhythm of walking, of the crisp air that cooled her heated cheeks and cleared her cobwebby mind. And she might even admit it was rather nice to have company—even if that company was nosy and pushy.

  After about an hour's walk, they reached the trail summit. Shane took a clipboard from his pack and began to take some notes as he ranged over the area and examined trees and brush. After that, he snapped some reference pictures.

  Faith looked at the trees and decided they looked healthy for the time being. But if the area didn't get significant rainfall, the needles would dry out and the area would be prone to wildfire from dry lightning and campfires.

  She shook her pack from her shoulders and pulled out her water bottle as Shane put his clipboard away. Sinking to the ground, she took a long pull from her bottle. While the air was cool, the direct sunlight warmed her skin. Leaning back, she shoved her backpack behind her head, then closed her eyes.

  “Lying down on the job?” Shane said, amusement in his voice.

  “I'm not on the job, you are.”

  “We need to keep an eye out for rattlesnakes.”

  “I already did a sweep, Zadopec. This isn't their usual terrain anyway.”

  She heard him settle next to her. “Okay, Ranger lady, if you say so.”

  Faith smirked, her eyes still closed. “I just need to soak up some vitamin D.”

  “Good idea.”

  After a few minutes of silence, she tilted her head slightly and eased open one eye. Shane lay about a foot away from her, his arms folded under his head, eyes closed. Faith took the opportunity to look at him unhindered, without him scrutinizing her, which was always unnerving. The sun gilded his olive skin and put a golden halo around his dark hair. Heavens, the man was eye candy. It was a whole lot easier to deal with him when he wasn't peering into her soul with his perceptiveness. Eyes closed, his features relaxed, made him seem approachable and less intimidating, socially speaking.

  Maybe she could convince him to start wearing dark sunglasses. Of course there was the risk he'd look even cuter.

  His eyes snapped open, a smile tipping the edges of his mouth. “See anything you like?”

  Her face grew hot as she struggled to maintain a placid expression. How does he know I've been staring? Faith cast about for a witty rejoinder but finally retreated to her usual eye roll.

  Shane edged over onto his side, propping his head up with his hand. He looked like he was going to say something but instead he sat up. “We should probably be getting back.”

  Relieved at not having to respond to anything uncomfortable, Faith got to her feet and grabbed her bag.

  The drive home was quiet, which instead of putting her at ease, made her begin to feel worried. Had she finally put him off? Disappointed him somehow? Did he think she was hopeless? Faith caught her breath. Has he finally given up on me?

  And yet she had no one to blame but herself for continually pushing him away.

  The questions dogged her all the way to the ranger station. Shane remained silent aside from the most basic pleasantries, his eyes always on the road. When he dropped her off, his smile was as sweet as ever but a guarded quality in his eyes made her heart sink.

  Merle's admonition rose in her mind. “Ah, after work, if you'd like to come by, I could, like feed you. I mean, have dinner.” Bleh, that was awful.

  A small smile played around the edges of his mouth. “I'd love to, but I can't tonight. Raincheck?”

  Her head went up and down automatically. “Raincheck.”

  Shane offered a little wave then headed into the ranger station.

  Faith drove home, feeling numb, but not willing to examine the reason why.

  Once she was inside her house, the four walls pressed in on her, making her feel suffocated. Rubbing her arms briskly, Faith powered up her laptop and plunked onto the couch. When her email was loaded, she opened one from Merle. He was pleased with the response of her last brochure. Would she be willing to put one together for a company wanting a brochure for the Three Sisters Wilderness Area? She snorted and pushed her hand through her hair, an idea forming in her brain. Faith hit Reply and began typing.

  No problem, Merle. I'll get on it next week.

  ***

  Shane stared at his computer screen until his eyes began to cross. It had been a long, Faith-less week. He had come up with this noble idea of giving her some breathing space by not talking to her for five days. It definitely hadn't helped and might have even hindered the quality of his work.

  Perusing a weather forecast pertaining to the conditions in the mountains was usually a little more interesting. However, Faith's image kept getting in the way. He could acknowledge that his feelings had crossed over from attraction to affection, but what good was that when she wouldn't respond?

  He thought back to her dinner invitation last Sunday. At the time, he hadn't believed it to be legitimate. He had no doubt she'd asked because she was under compulsion from one matchmaking uncle. Shane wanted her to ask because she desired his company, not because she had some backward notion she was saving her job. Still, it had pained him to turn her down.

  Over the course of the week, he wondered if he'd missed an opportunity. Even if it was grasping at straws. But her usual lukewarm enthusiasm at spending time with him finally brought him to a point. Maybe it was time to get the message. Maybe Faith Conrad just wasn't into Shane Zadopec.

  So why wasn't his heart c
atching on?

  Shane checked the clock. Four-thirty—almost quitting time. Then the weekend. Maybe he could try one more time to let Faith know he was interested in her—offer flowers instead of suggestions, a nice dinner instead of take-out. Maybe she didn't know of his feelings because he'd spent too much time telling her how to change, pushing her harder even when she resisted, which everyone knew was the ultimate in romantic impulses. He shook his head. Way to go, man.

  Shirley cleared her throat. “You're mumbling to yourself, Shane.”

  He twisted around and caught the amused expression of the office assistant. “Uh, sorry about that.”

  “Got a hot date tonight or something?”

  He sent her a chagrined smile. “No, and that might be the problem.”

  She laughed. “Poor baby.”

  Shane shook his head and finished up the report. At five, he shrugged into his coat and followed Shirley out the door. Once he was alone in his Jeep, he decided to relent and call Faith. Maybe just let her know he was thinking about her. It was either romantic or stalkerish, depending on her view of him. He just wished he knew which was which. The call went to voicemail right away, which made him disappointed after the long absence of the sound of her voice in real time. He had no idea what message to leave.

  “This is Faith Conrad. I will be out of town for this weekend on assignment and will return your call Monday.”

  A weighted feeling of defeat settled on his shoulders. Five days was about to become seven. Where was she headed? Where was she headed without him? Shane called Merle.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, this is Shane. I just tried Faith's line and she said she'll be out of town?”

  “Yes, I've asked her to do a brochure on the Sisters Wilderness Area so I believe she's heading up to get some shots.”

  “All weekend, huh?”

  “Depends on what she's after.”

  Shane shook his head, and after a quick chat on the weather and business, he hung up.

  Depends on what she's after.

  What if that included not him?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Only a thin line of shimmering gold crept past the horizon at the Pole Creek Trail Head as Faith suited up for the climb. She'd spent the last week making arrangements and getting her gear in order. The busyness had kept Shane thoughts to a minimum—at least she only thought about him every other minute rather than every minute. It stung a little that he hadn't called over the last several days. Or that he'd turned down her clumsy Sunday dinner invitation, but she only had herself to blame for her off-putting behavior.

  That's why this weekend was so important. Just like making the effort to try for her GED, she was going to take another of Shane's challenges and 'climb the girls' as he'd said. Maybe it would exorcise the embarrassment she felt for at least a few of her shortcomings. Maybe this climb would give her the confidence that always seemed to be in such short supply.

  It was going to be a hard push, hitting all three Sisters in two days, but she'd found a large climbing group to tag along with and they were just as determined to meet the same goal.

  Faith double-checked her gear. It would require a few extra tools as there were still icy glaciers where a pick-ax would come in handy. She'd had to replenish her supplies as well as add new equipment. The rest of the group milled around in the pre-dawn light making last minute adjustments to their own gear and getting psyched to start the climb.

  “We're gonna hit the Gnarly Northy first because she's the toughest,” said a man who looked more like a surfer than a climber.

  “Also known as the North slope,” someone said from the group.

  “Yeah, she's got quite a few names.”

  A woman spoke up. “Like the Black Beast.”

  “I've heard the north peak was called the Ugly Sister,” someone else said with a laugh. “That's the peak named Faith, right?”

  “Yep!”

  Faith grimaced. Great.

  But her annoyance was forgotten an hour later as they headed up the rugged slope. It took all her concentration to keep up the pace, especially considering her periodic stops for photos. She stayed at the rear of the group, listening to their excited chatter and laughter.

  The mountain gave way to an arching blue sky and alpenglow as the morning wore on. Thoughts of her troubles were soon eclipsed by loose, crumbling rock and slick glaciers requiring every last bit of her experience and strength. Photography became secondary to keeping one foot in front of the other.

  The other climbers had been on this route before and despite the jovial air, everyone took their time, being especially cautious around the ice. Even in the more dangerous areas, the group maintained high spirits and offered loud encouragement to those who straggled slightly behind. Aside from a few smiles and words of support, the others left her to herself. But that was fine because she often hiked alone. She had always enjoyed the solitude. Today surely wasn't any different. Faith focused on one step at a time, listening to the sounds of the group begin to fade as they moved on ahead, listening to the measured crunch of her boots and the huffing of her breathing. She slowly realized, despite being included with the others, she was essentially alone.

  She wondered what Shane was up to. He would probably enjoy this hike more than she. A vague sense of guilt plagued her as the hours wore on. Should she have invited him along? But why would he want to come? He didn't want to come to dinner. What did she really have to offer outside of smart-alec remarks and a stubborn streak a country mile wide?

  Faith reminded herself that he'd most likely use the climb to badger and prod her, making her feel like she didn't measure up. Or use the exercise to promote some spiritual homily that would set her teeth on edge.

  No, that wasn't fair. He wasn't that thoughtless. Just Type A and relentlessly cheerful. Then there were the times when he opened up about his own struggles and encouraged her in her pursuits. So he wasn't all bad. In fact, he'd probably love this climb. Maybe she should've asked him. Faith swallowed. Too late now.

  She shoved thoughts of Shane aside to concentrate on her hiking. As the ascent increased, Faith's muscles began to complain. The thin air left her lungs burning for oxygen. She realized she was falling further behind the group and had to push herself harder. Dizziness assailed her as she pressed onward. If she stopped to rest, she'd only lose that much more time, becoming further separated from the group.

  Squinting into the chill wind sweeping down from the peak, she wondered if her vision was failing her or if the sun had gone behind a cloud. And yet there wasn't a cloud in the sky. How strange.

  Suddenly the sky swirled above her and the darkness became complete. When she tried to get her bearings, Faith realized with a gasp she was on her back and sliding downward.

  Instinct and adrenaline kicked in at the same time. She began flailing for her pick ax. Her backpack made smooth movement difficult, as did her screaming muscles, but as rock became glacier, she spun wildly to one side.

  Faith gripped the ax in her bulkily-gloved hand then swung with all her remaining strength, praying the claw would penetrate the glacier.

  Her body came to a shuddering stop.

  As she gulped air and scanned her surroundings, she knew the ax would not bear her weight for long.

  And this time, Shane wasn't there to rescue her. Even the others were beyond her field of vision.

  Gritting her teeth, Faith maneuvered her body onto one side, then slipping and sliding, worked her knees beneath her. How long it took, she had no idea. All that mattered was getting her spiked boots anchored into the glacier. Sweating from exertion, she finally gained traction, and with trembling movements, rose to her feet. Faith wavered in the thin air, using every muscle to stay upright.

  Inhaling deep, once
she gained her composure, she peeked at her watch. An hour had passed since she last checked. She closed her eyes. The only explanation meant she must've fainted. The realization she could've sailed down the mountain unconscious—further than she had—brought heat to her eyes. Instead of some redemptive challenge, this climb now seemed foolish. Foolish in that she'd gone on her own. The group of strangers ahead didn't count.

  Thank you God, for Your mercy in stopping my descent. Please strengthen my limbs for the rest of the climb.

  Faith bit her lip. She knew the smart thing to do would be to head back down the mountain and attempt the climb when she was better trained and had a hiking buddy. She pulled more cold air deep into her starving lungs and considered her options. Peering up at the mountain, she realized the summit wasn't that far off. Surely she could get to the top if she was careful. Besides, Bascombe's needed the images.

  Mentally girding herself for the journey to come, she took a step closer to her destination.

  The first steps were the hardest, but soon she had a comfortable stride going. Slowing down and breathing deeper should help her stay oxygenated. As she hiked, she shielded her eyes and scanned the area, looking for any hint of the other climbers. That's when she noted another trail, far off to one side and not covered in ice.

  No doubt the others had used that trail instead of the one she'd taken. Frustration at her ignorance made her steps leaden, but she pressed on, knowing she'd be even more upset if she quit now. Some time later, her efforts brought her within sight of the others. They must've taken a break at some point or she doubted she would've caught up with them.

  A couple of women furthest behind the group seemed to be struggling. One of them fell and began to slide. But the other caught her arm and arrested her fall. Laughing, she helped her friend to her feet and they resumed the climb.

  Faith stared at them, knowing their wisdom made her all the more foolish. Okay, God I get it. Had I not been such a loner, I would have seen the easier path, and if I had a friend along—let's say Shane—I would have had someone to help me up from my fall. My bad.