by John Lenahan
‘I’ve seen my mother do that by placing gold in her mouth.’
‘Yes, I authorised my daughter to teach her that. As I said, she is a very clever witch. But we Pooka did not stop there. Soon we were using magic to completely empathise with the animals. Cults began – the most prominent were the Marcach and the Fia.’
‘Horse and deer?’ I said, remembering my father teaching me names of animals in ancient Gaelic when I was a kid.
‘Yes. The cults submerged themselves completely in their chosen animals to the point where the first changes began. The Marcach became half horse themselves and the Fia became half deer half Pooka.’
‘Centaurs and Fauns,’ I said aloud.
‘Yes,’ Queen Rhiannon said as if being roused out of a daydream, ‘I have heard those words used by Pookas that came back from a Real World sojourn. But the half change was dangerous. Marcach and Fia began to lose themselves – they became horses and deer and no one could bring them back. A council was formed and the cults were banned, but they continued in secret.
‘One of our kind was named Moran. He was reported to be the wisest of all the Pooka. He studied every creature that was known on the land and in the air, then he left for the sea. There he s. S the fish and found the aquatic mind so different to our own that he could safely change into a half fish and not lose his Pooka identity.’
‘Wait a minute. Are you talking about mermaids? Like topless girls with fish bottoms?’
It was only a matter of time before Queen Rhiannon gave me the dirty look that every other woman I had known had given me. ‘Mertain is what he called them but yes, mermaid is the Real World name. At about the same time another of my ancestors travelled to the Hazellands. Before the Hall of Knowledge existed, wise men and women would gather at the great hazel tree and share ideas. My ancestor tried a hazelnut and it instilled him with such self-knowledge that he attempted a complete change into an animal and was able to return to his Pooka self. He arrived back at the Pinelands at almost the same time Moran did. Both of them drew supporters, each professing the virtues of their discoveries. Soon most were following my ancestor, changing into all manner of beasts using hazel. Moran warned that dependence on hazelnuts was dangerous but he was unheeded. I have not thought of him in a very long time but I must now admit that he may have been right.’
‘What happened to Moran?’
‘Finally he and his followers left to live permanently in the sea. The Pookas of the Pinelands never heard of them for centuries. Then a half woman/half fish washed up on the shore injured and the Banshees brought her to us. She told us that the Mertain live in the archipelago off the Fearn Peninsula. She named two of the islands – one was Faoilean Island and the other was Tughe Tine Isle.’
‘What happened to her?’
‘She was escorted to Fearn Point and she swam home. We have not heard from the Mertain since.’
‘Do you have a guide that could take me there?’
‘The Fearn Peninsula is in the Alderlands. Our peoples have had no contact in a long time but I may be able to help you, but not for several days. I would like to get my kindred unlost before I lose them again.’
‘Of course. Thank you, Your Highness.’
She placed her hand on my cheek. ‘It is so good to see Liam’s seed in this room. Sleep well, Son of Hazel.’ Before she left she stopped and turned to me. ‘There is one more thing you should know, Conor. The Mertain that washed up on the shore…’
‘Yes?’
‘She was… old.’
I spent that night dreaming about a mermaid. I don’t know if my dreams were a premonition or just the result of talking about them all day, but I can tell you one thing: the mermaid I dreamt about wasn’t old.
I awoke in the morning to the sound of splashing. I had one of those surreal moments when I couldn’t figure out whether the sound was coming from my dream or from the waking world. I sat up in bed and listened. Just because my grandfather was a peeping tom didn’t mean I was going to cop a look at Queen Rhiannon swimming naked – as much as I’d like to. I dressed, walked downstairs and found Essa speaking to the wet-hared, robed Queen, at the entrance to the council room. They stopped when they saw me. The Queen and I swapped morning pleasantries and she left.
‘Is everyone all right?’ I asked.
‘We’re fine,’ Essa said. ‘Brendan has been complaining about not having any meat in a while. He asked a Pooka if he could change into something he called a New York porterhouse so he could eat him. I’m not sure if the poor Pooka was scared or just confused.’ Then she smiled and I realised just how much I had missed that smile. ‘The Queen seems to like you,’ she said.
‘Oh, yeah? What did she say about me?’
‘She told me that I was with the wrong man.’
‘Well, I have to agree with her there. I don’t see how you can ignore such good advice from a queen and a prince. Come to think of it I’m sure I could get a king to join the focus group.’
‘Turlow is a king,’ she replied smugly.
‘And here is me thinking that he was just a Turd-low.’
Essa’s face got those lines in it that meant that our pleasant conversation was coming to an end. She turned to leave. I reached for her arm and thought better of it.
‘Essa,’ I called after her and she stopped. ‘Seriously, even if we never get together again I still agree with the Queen. He is not the right man for you.’
She gave me that exasperated look, which was safer than her I’m about to hit you look. ‘And why is that?’
‘When you are around him – you… you just don’t seem to be you.’
This looked like it threw her for a second. But then she bounced back, ‘Maybe this is the real me and you are the one that brings out my worst.’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t think so.’
For a second I thought she was going to say something else but then she looked at her shoes and left.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Re-Pookalation
The Pinelands quickly became re-Pookalated. It must not take much hazelnut to help a Pooka remember how to stand on two legs ’cause everywhere I went I saw formerly fur-covered people being led back to their homes looking kinda dopey. I spoke to Tuan and he said that when Pookas are lost it takes them a while to start thinking like a person again. I saw one woman lick her hand and then wash her cheek like a cat.
Tuan hosted a dinner for us in his modest house. Believe it or not he cooked salmon.
‘That’s what I just don’t get,’ Brendan said between mounced baculs. ‘You guys in The Land just go up to a bunny or a fish and say, “Could you please die for me?” and they do?’
‘We are not as flippant as that,’ Araf answered, ‘asking for an animal’s life is a skill that must be learned, but that is essentially what happens.’
‘Why on earth would an animal agree to that?’ Brendan asked.
‘Because they know they will be born again,’ Tuan said as if talking to a five-year-old.
‘How do they know that?’
This question stumped Tuan, as if Brendan had asked him, ‘How do you know the sun shines?’
‘That is what they tell me,’ the Pooka said. ‘Why would I doubt them?’
It was nice having a boys’ night. Tuan had invited the Turd-low but he said he would rather sit alone and wait for his beloved to return from the dinner she was having with Nieve and the Queen. Brendan, who usually sticks up for the Banshee, called him ‘hen-pecked’. I, on the other hand, thought maybe Turlow had the right idea. Perhaps if I had paid more attention to Essa I would be doing something other than talking bull with guys and laying the groundwork for a hangover.
Saying that, it was a delightful evening. The food was good and Tuan produced a couple of bottles of some lovely Pooka mead-like stuff that had milk or cream in it. I almost asked if the milk came from regular cows or Pookas that were cows and then decided that I didn’t want to know. It was stronger than it tasted and it loo
sened Tuan’s tongue until I asked him how much hazelnut it takes to make a Pooka remember that he has feet instead of paws.
Tuan clammed up and said that was not information that should be discussed outside of the clan.
‘Don’t worry, Pooka brother,’ I told him. ‘Remember I’m a barush and Brendan is my closest adviser. Any Pooka secret you tell him or me will go no further than this room.’
‘I’m an adviser?’ Brendan said. ‘When did that happen?’
‘And you can tell Araf anything ’cause he never speaks,’ I said, patting the Imp on the back. ‘Isn’t that right, Prince Araf?’
The big guy gave me his hallmark blank stare.
‘See.’
‘Anyway what’s the big secret?’ Brendan asked. ‘So you need hazelnuts. Pookas need hazelnuts and cops need donuts.’
‘Do donuts come from do trees?’ Tuan asked.
‘Never mind,’ I said, ‘but Brendan has a point. Why keep it such a secret?’
‘Because it is a weakness,’ Tuan said, crouching down as if someone was overhearing him. ‘If others were to realise our dependence on hazel then they could use it to exploit us.’
‘It seems to me that someone already has,’ Brendan said in such a matter-of-fact way that everyone looked at him a bit shocked.
‘Explain,’ Tuan demanded.› eight="0%" width="5%"›‘Well, Conor told me that no one knows why the Hall of Knowledge was destroyed. It seems obvious to me that somebody wanted to take the Pookas out of the equation by destroying all the hazel trees. They almost succeeded.’
My gods, I thought, it was so obvious. Why didn’t I see it before?
Tuan was unconvinced. ‘But no one knew about our need for hazelnuts except Conor’s grandfather.’
‘Are you sure about that?’ Brendan asked. ‘The one thing I know about secrets is that there is no such thing. Somebody else always knows.’
‘Who?’ Tuan asked.
‘Someone who is a master of ancient lore,’ I said in a dreamy voice as I thought out loud. ‘Someone who will do anything to get his own way.’
‘Oh,’ Araf said.
‘Who?’ Brendan and Tuan asked together.
I had to take a slug of Pooka-shine before I could even say the name. ‘Cialtie.’
This kinda killed the happy party mood of the evening but it didn’t stifle the discussion. We all eventually agreed that if the Hazellands were destroyed to stop the Pookas from getting hazelnuts, then that meant that the Hall of Knowledge was once again in peril.
‘We should inform Dahy,’ Araf said.
‘Inform him of what?’ a woman’s voice asked from the doorway. It was Aunt Nieve followed by Essa.
We filled the ladies in on our epiphany. At first they thought it was just drunken ramblings but then they asked more questions. Soon they thought it was a pretty good theory too.
‘We should talk about this on our walk,’ Nieve said.
‘Good idea,’ Brendan replied, jumping up to join her.
‘You two have a walk planned?’ I asked as I gave a questioning glance to Essa. The tilt of her head implied she knew something that I didn’t. The walkers just smiled. Brendan came back into the room to pick up his jacket from the floor beside me. As he leaned down I whispered, ‘And what’s all this then?’
‘It’s a walk,’ he replied with a smile. ‘I have a choice between sitting here listening to you whine or a walk in the moonlight with a beautiful woman. Hmm, let me thin’ on that for a second.’ He grabbed his jacket and they left.
I turned to Essa. ‘So I suppose you are off to join your snuggly Banshee?’
‘Actually,’ she said, plopping down on the cushion next to me, ‘what I could really use is a drink.’
I jumped up and got her a glass. Tuan poured her a measure of Pooka-shine and she downed it in one.
Then she smiled at me and said, ‘Can I have another?’
I took this to be a very good sign.
I really could have used a lie-in the next morning, but p›
In the end they came around and decided that there should be a Pooka presence with Dahy’s army at the Hall of Knowledge. The Queen pledged a small detail comprising a handful of bear Pooka soldiers, a courier wolf and a Pooka hawk for reconnaissance. Aunt Nieve agreed to escort the Pooka recruits back to the Hazellands.
‘I would really like it if you came with us,’ I said to my aunt after the meeting, ‘and I think Brendan would too,’ I said, testing her reaction.
She didn’t return my smile, she didn’t really look very happy at all. ‘I have a duty to your mother and to Duir. I have too long been too far away. Escorting the Pookas needs to be done and Castle Duir should not be left without one of the family.’ Then she smiled, took my face in her hands and kissed me on the forehead. ‘When I was young I worked on a spell that would allow me to be in two places at one time – I only ever succeeded in giving myself a headache. I wish now I had worked harder. Be careful, nephew. Find a cure for my brother and come back safe. Now I must tell Brendan.’
‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘what’s going on with you two?’
She smiled and gave me a very un-Nieve-like girly shrug then practically skipped away.
That night I was invited back into the Queen’s sitting room for tea.
‘My son Tuan has asked me if he could be your group’s guide to the end of the Brownie Peninsula. Is this agreeable with you?’
‘Yes, ma’am. I really like Tuan.’
‘He is very fond of you, Prince Conor. May the gods take care of you both.’
‘I’m sure we will be fine.’
‘Well,’ she said in a knowing motherly tone, ‘just to be sure I am sending a bear with you.’
‘If you insist.’
‘I do,’ she said in a voice that made it clear that I would have been an idiot to discuss the matter further. ‘How you will reach Tughe Tine Isle I cannot counsel you on.’
‘Don’t worry about it. I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of guy – we’ll figure it out.’
The next few minutes were spent in talking about what my pants had to do with anything.
‘I would be happier if the Banshee were not with you,’ the Queen said.
‘What have you got against Turlow?’
‘You suspect that the Banshees from the Reedlands destroyed the Hall of Knowledge, do you not?’
‘I do.’
‘Then how can you trust a member of that race?’
‘A member of your race tried to eat me a couple of days ago. Should I distrust the Pooka? My father told me that Banshees were some of the most loyal guards he had ever known and one of the finest persons I have ever known was a Banshee.’
The Queen raised her hands and I stopped. ‘Banshee loyalty is well known, Son of Duir, but in the past too many Banshees have been loyal to your uncle. Can you honestly say that Cialtie will bother Tir na Nog no more?’
I started to say something then shrugged – she had a point.
She reached across and touched my cheek. ‘You remind me so much of your grandfather.’
‘I didn’t peek – honest.’
She smiled at that – a smile that charmed me as much as I’m sure it charmed my grandfather. ‘Liam too voiced his opinions passionately but he was more stubborn than you. He refused to let Dahy put soldiers in the Hazellands and that stubbornness eventually killed him. Make sure you do not allow pride to stop you from what you truly think should be.’
I wasn’t sure what she was talking about and obviously it showed on my face.
‘Let Essa know how you feel.’
‘Oh,’ I said, leaning back in my chair. ‘Well, Essa is… Essa is a difficult woman.’
‘The best ones always are. As a matter of fact, that is what your grandfather used to say.’ She reached under her chair and produced a plain wooden box. ‘Liam gave me this, years ago. I would like you to have it.’
She opened the box. Inside, on a bed of satin, was a throwing blade with a green glass
handle inlaid with gold wire. It was identical to the one that contained the message and was thrown at Brendan on Mount Cas. I picked it up and admired it.
‘As you can see I have never used it,’ she said. ‘The tip is still very golden.’
‘Do you know where my grandfather got this?’
‘Dahy,’ she said. ‘It was one of two that he made. Liam told me that Master Dahy gave one to him and the other to his true love.’
Chapter Twenty-Four
Yogi Bear
Uncharacteristically, I was the first to arrive for our crack-of-dawn departure. A small dusting of snow swirled in a bitter wind that stung my cheeks. It was flipping freezing. I wondered for a second why I wasn’t snuggled up in a warm bed but then the image of my statue-like father pushed that thought away. Nieve’s Pooka etourage mounted up. The five bears were on horseback while the wolf and hawk chose to travel in their animal shapes.
Nieve showed up with her arm locked onto Brendan’s. She gave him a right proper thirty-second snog and then leapt on her horse. I was about to make a comment but the look on her face made me stop. She didn’t need a joke.
The rest of my gang showed up and mounted up. We had all said our goodbyes the night before so the two groups saluted Queen Rhiannon and her council, then we waved to each other and went in separate directions. If I hadn’t known better I could have sworn I saw tough-as-old-boots Aunt Nieve wipe a tear as she turned.
Tuan introduced me to our Pooka bear guard. His name was Yarrow.
‘Yarrow the Bear?’ I said with a laugh. ‘Mind if I call you Yogi?’
I then had to explain what a nickname was. Yarrow liked the concept and he also liked the idea of being ‘smarter than the average bear’ so the name stuck and he became Yogi Bear.
The path to the Alderlands was on the opposite side of the mountain that we had come up. Tuan and Yogi casually touched trees as they passed, picking up messages that were then deposited on other trees. Pookas in animal form were in the forest as well, especially red squirrels jumping from tree to tree reinstating the pine tree telegraph that had been neglected for so long. Normal animals were also slowly repopulating the Pinelands. Queen Rhiannon had sent out a few envoys to persuade the normal animals that the Pookas were no longer bonkers. I didn’t see any big creatures like boar or deer but the fast little guys, rabbits and foxes and squirrels, were back. Tuan said they seemed jumpier than normal but I couldn’t tell.