The Doctor’s Secret Baby

by Teresa Southwick

  “Okay. Right.” The way he sounded now meant he was running his fingers through his hair. And probably pacing.

  “She and Jonas had a big fight when she told him about the baby. He was pretty upset.”

  “Understandable.”

  “I agree. But now she and Henry are gone and he’s frantic. He was going to skip work to look for them, but he can’t afford to lose his job. I told him I’d go and keep him informed. So I’ll bring Annie over and the portable crib because I’m not sure how long I’ll be. It would be easier on her if you kept her overnight so—”

  “I’ll help you. We’ll look together.”

  “You don’t have to. If you could just take care of Annie. The places I’m going to look aren’t anywhere I want to take her.”

  “Then you shouldn’t go, either.”

  “I have to.”

  “Not alone. Pack her stuff. I’ll pick you guys up and we’ll take her to Mom and Dad’s.”

  Before she could protest or ask how he knew his parents would be free or even want to watch Annie he hung up.

  After dropping their daughter off with her ecstatic grandparents, Em sat in the front passenger seat of his SUV as they headed back across the valley toward old downtown Las Vegas.

  “You didn’t need to come with me,” she protested, even though she wanted to kiss him for being there.

  She wanted to kiss him for other things, too, but mostly for not letting her do this by herself. She knew all too well how “alone” felt and being with Cal was so much better. Also something she shouldn’t count on or get used to because he’d made his feelings, or lack thereof, perfectly clear.

  “Like I said before hanging up on you, I’m not letting you do this by yourself. Two pairs of eyes are better than one.” He glanced over and headlights from passing cars revealed the concern in his eyes. “We’re almost to the shelter, but if she’s not there—do you have any other ideas where Patty would go? Maybe to her family?”

  “I already called.” Em hadn’t thought it was possible, but her stomach knotted some more. “Her mother said that she hadn’t heard from Patty and even if she had, she’d have told her one baby is bad enough, but two is ridiculous. She doesn’t want anything to do with her or Henry. Then she called that sweet, innocent little boy an ugly name.”

  “Mother of the year. Not.” His expression was grim. “My folks may drive me crazy with caring, but at least they do care. I can’t imagine how Patty must feel.”

  “I can.” She gripped her hands tightly together in her lap to keep from picking at her fingers, a nervous habit she’d finally conquered. “Talking to that mother, and I use the term loosely, brought back a lot of bad memories.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything.” She met his gaze for a moment and smiled. “You’re here. Show, don’t tell. You don’t talk the talk. You walk the walk. And I appreciate you being my friend.”

  “You’re welcome.” Cal glanced in the rearview mirror, then said, “So we’re going to the homeless shelter?”

  “It’s where I first found her before bringing her to Helping Hands.”

  He exited the freeway then drove through one of the parts of town that the Office of Tourism didn’t talk about. She saw people sitting in doorways or curbs with everything they owned in tattered backpacks or wire shopping carts.

  The shelter was on Bridger Avenue and Fourth Street, not too far from the Clark County Justice Center. That seemed ironic when it felt like there was no justice in the world. It was dark and dirty and scary. At least when she’d been on the street, she’d been able to protect the baby inside her. Patty had two lives depending on her, and Em knew from personal experience how terrifying and awful it was. She prayed that Patty was somewhere safe.

  After parking in front of the lighted building, Cal came around to her side of the car and opened the door. She slid out and looked around. People sat on the curb or bus bench. Some had nothing but a brown paper bag hiding a bottle inside that contained their poison of choice. Others looked with eyes vacant and hopeless. These were the ones who didn’t get a roof over their head and a bed for the night. She remembered being one of those unlucky ones and the fear threatened to pull her under.

  Standing beside the open car door Cal’s big body blocked her in. “Em, what is it? You’re shaking like the boogeyman is chasing you.”

  “He did once.” It was still 80 degrees, but her teeth chattered. “I was fifteen and on the street and it was dark. Some guy tried to f-force himself on me.”

  “Em—” His jaw tightened. “Did you—Did he—”

  “No. I kicked him, you know, and ran like hell.”

  “Attagirl.” Resting his wrist on the top of the car he leaned down and met her gaze. “I can go in alone and look for her if it’s too hard for you. But I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”

  And she didn’t want to be left. “No. I’m okay.”

  He stood back and chirped the car locked after shutting the door. She started to step on the sidewalk when he stopped her and pulled her into his arms. The solid chest and warm skin were always safe and secure and satisfying, but felt especially wonderful right now. In the future, on cold and lonely nights the memory of this reassuring gesture and his solid presence would fill all the dark places in her soul. She slid her arms around his waist and held on. Just for a few moments.

  She wanted so badly to pretend that he was here for her, that he cared about her for her sake and not just because she was his daughter’s mother. But once upon a time she’d pretended that someone loved her. Instead he’d selfishly used her body and left her pregnant so that she ended up living on the streets. It had made her face reality and she’d promised herself to keep it real always.

  Sighing, she stepped away and smiled up at him. “Thanks for that.”

  He nodded. “Let’s go see if Patty’s in there.”

  “Okay.”

  Before they could go inside, a movement from a doorway caught Em’s attention. In the yellow glow from a streetlight there was a flash of blond hair followed by the cry of a child.

  “Cal, over here.” Ignoring the pleas for loose change from the few people on the sidewalk, she hurried to the doorway. In the shadows she saw a slight figure shrinking back with something in her arms. “Patty? It’s Emily. Cal is with me.”

  “Em?” The teen stood and peeked out, then burst into tears.

  Em pulled her and Henry into her arms and whispered comforting words, told her everything would be all right. Finally, Henry started to wiggle and slide out of her grasp.

  Cal grabbed him into strong arms. “Hey, buddy, where do you think you’re going?”

  Patty sniffled and her lips trembled. “We don’t have anywhere to go. By the time we got here the shelter was full and couldn’t get us in.”

  “You do have a place,” Em told her firmly. “We’re here to take you home.”

  “But I’m pregnant. Jonas said—” A sob choked off her words just before tears trickled down her cheeks and glistened in the glow from the streetlight.

  “Jonas is worried sick about you and Henry,” Cal said. “Stuff happens. To everyone. We all need help at one time or another. You can’t take yourself out of the game.”

  “But I don’t know how to make this better.”

  “And running away from the people who care about you is going to help?” Cal asked, sympathy in his eyes as he looked at Em. “You’ve got Lucy and Oscar. Emily. Me.”

  “You?” Patty said.

  “I drove,” he answered. “That makes me the leader of this rescue party. Jonas would have been here but he had to work. With another baby on the way he couldn’t afford to jeopardize his job.”

  “I forgot. He wanted me to call if there was any news.” Emily looked at the teen. “I’m going to let you do that.”

  Patty nodded and took the cell phone Em handed her. They moved a few feet away to give her some privacy while Henry yawned and put h
is head down on Cal’s broad shoulder.

  “I’ve been thinking,” Cal said.

  “That’s encouraging. Although a little scary.” Em studied him, her insides going all mushy at the sight of him with the small child in his strong arms.

  “Right.” He rested a wide palm on the boy’s back. “Anyway, what do you think about signing Annie up for the convent?”

  She knew he was trying to make her smile, right out here in the worst part of town. How heroic was he? And what harm could it do to go along with him.

  “Right now?” she asked.

  “Sure.”

  “I don’t think it’s like Little League sign-ups,” she pointed out.

  “It should be. Because the thought of her growing up and having to let her go is a pretty unpleasant thought. For the record I’m not in favor of her moving away from home until she’s at least thirty-five. Although I hear they’re always looking for candidates for the convent.”

  “Our daughter might have something to say about that,” she pointed out.

  “That doesn’t mean we have to listen,” he countered.

  “Isn’t it our job as parents to listen?” She glanced at Patty who was still talking on the cell. “My mom never did. I understand now what she was up against as a single woman raising a child and how difficult that is. And there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have gotten the message if she’d actually talked to me about it then. I was too young and self-absorbed. But she didn’t try. More important, she didn’t try to find out how I felt. She just told me how it was going to be and if I didn’t like it, the door was right where it had always been.”

  “That’s pretty harsh.”

  “Yeah. It was. But soon enough I found out the streets were a whole lot harsher. I’d never have gone back with my mom if there’d only been just me to worry about.”

  “I’m glad you took care of yourself. I’m glad you went home.” His voice was rough, laced with emotion.

  “Why? It meant giving up my baby. You made it clear how you felt about that.”

  “I talked the talk. But I didn’t walk the walk that you did.” He tightened his hold on Henry. “I’m sorry.”

  Her throat grew thick with emotion and she swallowed it back. “You don’t have to say that. But thanks.”

  Patty finally hung up and told them that Jonas would meet her back at the apartment when he got off work. So the four of them got back into the SUV, with a sleeping Henry in Annie’s car seat, and drove home.

  Cal pulled up in front of her place and turned off the car. They walked Patty and Henry to the door where Lucy opened it.

  The redhead hugged her friend. “I’m so glad you guys are safe.”

  Jonas took his son from Cal and hugged the sleeping boy, then put his arm around Patty. “You okay?”

  “Yes.” Patty nodded as tears filled her eyes. “Thanks to Em and Dr. Westen. Oh, Jonas—It was so awful. Henry was hungry and I didn’t have any money to buy him food.”

  “Look, babe, I’m sorry. I acted like an ass. It was a shock, you know?” Jonas kept her close to his side. “But I didn’t mean for you to run away. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

  “Really?” Patty blinked back more tears.

  “Yeah. It’ll be rough, but I know we can do it. Together.” He looked at her. “I think we should get married.”

  “Now? But I thought you wanted to wait.”

  “That was before. Things have changed.” He smiled down at her flat stomach.

  “There’s nothing I want more than to marry you.” Patty smiled lovingly at him. “I know that means I’ll have to leave Helping Hands, but it’s time, I think. If I leave it will open up a place for someone who’s all alone and doesn’t have anywhere to go.”

  Em nodded as feelings crashed through her that she didn’t have the emotional reserves to sort through right now. She promised the teens a long talk when they were all rested up, then Cal walked her to her place.

  He took her key and fit it in the lock, then opened the door. “Hell of a night.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  “I guess there will be a wedding,” he said.

  “I guess.” She took her keys from him and spotted her daughter’s doll on the floor. The emptiness closed in on her. “Do you want to get Annie in the morning from your folks?”

  “Yeah. Maybe we—”

  She cut him off before he could ask to come in. “Thanks for that and for everything tonight. I appreciate it.”

  She couldn’t let him stay because she wanted so badly for just that. Except they’d wind up in her bed and that would only put off the goodbye. The fact was that he couldn’t give her his love and that was what she wanted more than anything.

  “Good night, Cal.”

  Wordlessly he nodded and backed up, letting her shut the door. She leaned her back against it and listened to the deafening silence. She figured a place in hell was getting dusted off for her because of so many bad things she’d done, but mostly because she was jealous of the two teens who had each other. They were lucky. And she was happy for them, but so sad for herself.

  Even walking the streets as a pregnant teenager with no place to go hadn’t prepared her to be without Cal. She had never felt more alone than she did at this moment.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Emily watched Sophia take a bite of pepperoni-and-sausage pizza, then sigh with contentment. The other woman chewed enthusiastically and spoke with a full mouth. “There are very few things in life that pizza and wine can’t fix.”

  “Or,” Em said, “when you’re full of carbs, fat and liquor you don’t really care about the bad stuff.”

  “True.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Patty told me about her pregnancy, which explains her mood swings.”

  “She and Jonas are pulling together now.”

  “Legally speaking,” Sophia said. “She invited me to the wedding.”

  “I’m a bridesmaid. Lucy’s the maid of honor and Annie is going to be a flower girl,” Em confirmed.

  “All in all a lot of good things that don’t require pizza and wine but we’ll indulge anyway. Eat, drink and be merry.”

  Not so much. Emily looked at the generous slice on her own plate and just sighed. It was barely touched and she couldn’t work up a whole lot of enthusiasm to finish.

  Her friend had called to suggest a girl’s night in with wine and a whole lot of comfort food, the kind that would stick to their butts and thighs. Annie was spending the night at Cal’s and Em hadn’t wanted to be alone so she’d agreed. Now she wasn’t so sure it was a good idea.

  After setting her plate on the coffee table, Em said, “I’m sorry to be such pathetic company tonight.”

  “Thank God you finally said something.” Sophia put her half-eaten pizza on the plate and set it aside. “My jaw is strained from smiling and talking. The cheerful act is starting to get on my nerves. You must be about ready to choke me.”

  “No, but now that you mention it—” Em grew serious and asked, “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “You’d have sidestepped me. Your favorite response when I ask what’s going on is, and I quote—‘oh, you know’—unquote.” Sophia picked up her glass of red wine and sipped. “Are you ready to talk?”

  “Same old, same old,” she answered with a shrug.

  “Something’s different tonight.” Sophia studied her as she tapped her glass to her lips. “It’s like your spirit imploded.”

  “It feels like that.”

  “So what’s changed?”

  “I don’t want to bring you down.”

  “Too late.” Sophia met her gaze. “Spill it, my friend.”

  Emily hadn’t planned to talk about this, figuring it would be best to keep things to herself, but the truth was her spirit was imploding and she didn’t know how to stop it.

  “Annie isn’t just at Cal’s tonight,” she explained. “The Westens are having a party to celebrate that she’s legally one of t
hem. The paperwork is completed—signed, sealed, delivered and in the eyes of the world Cal is her father.”

  Em didn’t need the paperwork for that to be true. Annie looked more like Cal every day and she knew that even if he’d never come back into her life she’d be reminded of him on a daily basis.

  “So, why aren’t you there with Annie instead of here bringing me down?” Sophia asked. “Did they not invite you?”

  “No. Cal asked me to come. I just figured it would be best to stay away since it was my fault things happened the way they did in the first place.”

  “Then he didn’t try very hard to let you know you were welcome.”

  “Actually, he told me he wasn’t taking no for an answer, so I said something about not feeling well and keeping my germs to myself.”

  “You lied?”

  “It got him to back off,” she said, which neither confirmed or denied. Em slid into the corner of the couch and tucked one bare foot underneath her. “In his mind I was simply living up to his low expectations.”

  “You’re telling me he’s still got trust issues after you went to all the trouble of doing the court stuff to get him legal rights to his child?”

  “He can’t help it, Soph. I understand why.”

  “I don’t. You’re the most trustworthy person I know.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “You’re welcome.” Her friend took another sip of red wine. “You haven’t slept with him again.”

  “How do you know that?” Em cried. “Do I have a tattoo on my forehead? Is there a dialogue bubble over my head revealing my most private thoughts? What?”

  “Your eyes are sad,” Soph said simply.

  “I hate that you know me so well.”

  “I hate that you’re in love with him.”

  “Me, too.” Em sat Indian style and faced her friend. “Samantha Tenney, his medical partner’s wife, says that we’re all broken in some way, but what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I guess I’ll have super powers by the time I get a handle on this.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Sophia nodded.

  “The thing is that I feel like—I wish I could blame Cal, but—” To Em’s horror, her throat closed with emotion and her eyes filled with tears. “I should be so happy that Annie has her family. She has people, and I only have her.”