by Kiki Archer
Ava and Bobby jumped up and down. “Auntie Kat! Auntie Kat! Father Christmas came!”
She knelt down in the centre of the circle and pulled them both in for a cuddle. “What did he bring-”
“Err Kat, if you could sit on the desk chair next to Audrey please. We are going to give presents in a circle.”
Kat rose back to her feet. “Right, okay. Happy Christmas, Kelly.” She leaned down and kissed her sister on the cheek.
“Yep great, right, let’s go. We want to get these presents given before the rest of them arrive and then we can do the other presents after lunch.” Kelly looked up and scanned the room, fixing her eyes on the newcomers. “Okay, Sue and Patrick, do you have anything to give?”
Ava and Bobby raced up to their knees and looked at the new adults with eager eyes.
Sue tried to playfully tap one of the sticky hands resting on her new Marks and Spencer skirt. “Maybe later.”
“Sorry Sue, it’s just that there are so many people coming that we like to do presents with the immediate family first then we have lunch and then the others give theirs later. Now that you’re here, you might as well give yours now.”
Sue coughed and glared at her husband. “Patrick, are they in the car?”
He shifted in the upright chair that was becoming more uncomfortable by the minute. “I think I left them in that bag in our hall at home.”
Ava and Bobby sulked back away from the new adults who were not going to be any fun and plopped back down into the middle of the circle.
Kelly clapped her hands. “Not to worry. Great Grandpa Ed!”
Ava and Bobby jumped up and raced to the old man’s knees. His wrinkles and thin sticky up hair were a bit scary, but he had a very big bag of presents, so they would try and be brave.
Sue was fuming. How dare Freya not tell her they were expected to bring gifts? She reached for her wine glass and emptied its contents in one long swig. The only good thing to come from Freya’s lesbianism was this chance to up the family’s social status and she was not going to fall at the first hurdle. She stood to make an announcement. “Don’t worry children, we will pop back down tomorrow with your huge presents.”
Ava and Bobby didn’t hear. They were head first in a supersized bag full of goodies. Kat and Freya heard and squeezed each other’s hands in unison, as did Jeremy and Gloria.
Chapter Seventeen
Ben felt his heart quicken as he pressed the small black bell at number 16 Winterton Lane. It had all been so clear on the long walk over. It was Christmas Day and he needed to see his son. The past three months had been such a mind fuck. Benny now knew him as ‘Ben The Seed Daddy’ and had absorbed the news with significant interest - that was until his next question arose about where the sun went at night. Lisa had insisted it was her plan all along, having moved back to the area, to find Ben and explain everything. Gerald, Lisa’s much older husband confirmed this on their first meeting and had been overwhelmingly supportive. Something that Ben could still not understand. He pressed the black doorbell twice more and asked himself once again - what sort of man, who has raised a child as his own from the age of one, allows his wife to relocate to the area where her ex boyfriend lives, with the plan to fess up to the said ex boyfriend that he is her child’s biological father? Lisa had explained it as guilt and a desire to ensure Benny got to know his real dad, but Ben didn’t buy it. He had to be missing something.
The white door swung open and revealed a dishevelled looking Lisa. Ben almost stepped back at the sight. She looked odd, like something was missing.
Lisa was instantly aware of his shocked stare and attempted to straighten her hair, pulling her fringe down towards her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried to collect herself. “What are you doing here?”
Ben could not work out if she had done something different with her bobbed blonde hair or her eye make-up. Whatever it was, it did not suit her. He was suddenly lost for words, “I ... umm ... Happy Christmas!”
“Happy Christmas. Where’s Lucy?”
He felt a pang of concern. “Lucy’s at the Indian. I just ... I just thought maybe I should pop in and say Happy Christmas to Benny.”
Lisa made one final attempt to adjust her hair. “You and Lucy are with him all day on Thursday.”
“I know, I just thought it was important to see him today.”
She shook her head and closed the door slightly. “He’s four. Christmas lasts for days when you are four. It makes no difference to him on which day you wish him a Happy Christmas. Now get back to Lucy and enjoy yourself.”
“It makes a difference to me.”
Lisa leaned against the door for support. “Well I’m sorry, but that’s selfish. He is spending today with Mummy and Daddy. Tomorrow he knows we are going to Nana Pearl’s and on Thursday he knows he is seeing Seed Daddy and Lu Lu.” She took a slow breath and held onto the door handle. “You can’t confuse a child Ben.”
He was about to respond with a smart remark about how this two dad’s situation might be confusing, but he actually knew that Benny was not at all confused. He crossed his arms and looked down at the damp paved step, kicking a small pebble back onto the modern flower bed. “I guess I just wanted to see him.”
“And you will on Thursday.” She took another deep breath. “Now tell me why you’re here without Lucy.”
Ben tilted his head and eyed her sunken cheeks. “Are you okay?”
“Yes fine. Where’s Lucy?”
He immediately dropped his head in shame. “At the Indian.”
“On her own? On Christmas Day?”
He nodded.
This was the last thing she needed. “What are you doing? I thought you two were great? I thought you had promised to propose?”
It hit him like a ton of bricks, the image of Lucy sat alone in the restaurant. “I did, and we are, and I don’t know what I am doing.” He ruffled his already messy blonde hair. “Being a knob as per usual.” He tapped his finger on his chunky brown watch. “Shit, I’ve got to go. I am such a dick. Sorry Lisa. I’ll see you on Thursday.”
“He will be ready for you at ten. Don’t be late!” She watched him race away down the path, and took a step back inside her hallway, slowly closing the door and pulling the itchy wig from her head. She hurled it to the floor and started to sob.
****
The present giving had been wonderful and Bobby and Ava’s little faces had been a picture as they excitedly ripped open the shiny red and silver wrapping paper from Auntie Kat and Auntie Freya’s gigantic present. The motorised jeep, large enough for them both to sit in, had been the hit of the morning, with Bobby immediately jumping into the driver’s seat, calling for his sister to strap herself into the passenger’s seat, and hitting the pedal. The noisy vehicle, which could actually reach speeds of five miles per hour, crashed straight into Sue Elton’s shins.
Sue’s mood had failed to improve as the day progressed and now she was squashed into the huge dining room table with Uncle Bart on her left, who had polished off the gravy by drinking from the jug, and Grandpa Ed opposite, whose constant coughing fits due to poorly chewed food did nothing to make all of this posh nosh any more appetising. Everyone had been complimenting the hosts on how delicious the meal was and marvelling at the way Jeremy and Gloria had outdone themselves this year with four different types of stuffing, a perfectly cooked three bird roast consisting of a pheasant, in a chicken, in a goose, and every possible vegetable you could think of. Sue reached for her glass and had to admit that the plonk was very good indeed. They had started the day with champagne, followed quickly by sherry and hors d’oeuvres and now it was a lovely white wine that had topped the Guardian’s twenty best Christmas white wines list, or so Gloria had informed them.
Sue wanted to add to the buzzing conversation, so raised her glass. Everyone had been making little toasts throughout the noisy meal, so she thought she would have a go. She tapped the crystal wine glass with her fork, and watched in horror as a small cra
ck suddenly appeared and began to spread down the glass to the stem. She quickly gulped the wine in case the glass shattered completely.
To everyone who sat at the table, it looked as if Sue Elton was announcing the fact that she could down almost a full glass of expensive white wine. “Mum! What are you doing?” Freya was aghast.
One of Auntie June’s grown up children gave a whoop of respect and let off another party popper, only to realise that a fellow grown up child had replaced the contents of the popper with squirty cream. The subsequent mess of exploded froth offered a momentary distraction.
Sue realised the crack had not been noticed, so decided to continue. She leaned forward so that everyone from all ends of the oblong table could see her. “I just wanted to make a toast. To Kat and Freya ... and the joining of two distinguished families.” She raised her glass with her hand covering the bowl.
“I thought you were meant to hold a glass by its stem?” shouted Freya, unable to resist the dig.
Sue felt the thin crystal give way between her clenched fingers. Everyone heard the crack. “Now look what you’ve made me do!”
Gloria jumped out of her seat and raced to Sue’s side with her red Christmas napkin. “Just drop it in here, these pesky glasses are so thin. Are you okay? It hasn’t cut you has it?” Gloria collected the remains of her treasured wedding present. “Don’t worry, it happens all of the time,” she lied.
“I’m fine. I will replace it.”
Jeremy had dashed to the kitchen and was now returning with a new glass. He refilled it with the incredibly expensive white wine.
Sue looked up at Gloria with a smile. “We picked up a lovely set of twelve wine glasses from IKEA, didn’t we Patrick, and I think we only paid a couple of pounds.” She took the topped up glass from Jeremy. “I’ll let you have one when you come up and visit us.”
“Is that an official invite?” flirted Jeremy, keen to distract from the incident.
Sue smiled. The man was a real charmer, unlike the monotone husband sat next to her. “Of course it is.” She bashed Patrick’s arm. “Maybe we could host a New Year’s Eve Party?”
Freya huffed again. She had deliberately chosen a seat at the opposite end of the table to her mother, but could hear every word of the embarrassing encounter. “You have never hosted a New Year’s Eve Party!”
Sue leaned forward and looked past the six other people sat to her right. She eyed her daughter. “Yes we have darling and this year I think we should invite everyone that is here. Like I said in my toast,” she raised her new glass and increased her volume: “To the joining of two distinguished families.”
Grandpa Ed and Audrey hadn’t the foggiest idea who this woman with the annoying accent was, but the chance of another free knees up sounded great. “Count us in,” spluttered Ed, as a piece of chestnut from the chestnut and mushroom stuffing went down the wrong way.
Jeremy and Gloria returned to their seats and lifted their glasses. “To Kat and Freya.”
Everyone followed in unison and Sue wondered why no one had repeated her offering, “...and two great families,” she tried again.
“Yes okay Mum! We get it!” Freya wanted the ground to swallow her up.
Kat was aware of the simmering tension and aware of the strong Birmingham accent that was slowly returning to Sue’s slightly slurred speech. She decided to make the final toast that everyone had been waiting for. “I would just like to say thank you again for having us. Mum and Dad you are the best!”
“Here, here!” shouted Kelly rather too noisily, as another dud party popper exploded.
Jeremy and Gloria’s Christmas’s were complete. It was all they needed to hear - their daughters were home and their daughters were happy. A small tear formed in the corner of Jeremy’s eye. “I am a sentimental old fool, but this is what’s important to me. Thank you everyone for coming and please, help yourself to seconds!”
Sue was the first to reach across the table - for the expensive bottle of white wine.
****
Ben flung open the door and was hit with the strong aroma of spices and beer. He scanned the Indian restaurant. Lucy was not in her seat, or at the bar. He paced to all corners of the room checking the other tables. Last year’s impromptu game of musical chairs saw them all switching seats and forgetting where they were originally meant to be, but it did not look like that frivolity had happened yet.
The stern Indian waiter approached him with a look of disapproval. “Missy, Missy gone home.”
Ben sank against the bar stool at the small bar. “She’s gone?”
“Yes, she go. Missy not happy. She cry.”
Ben quickly stood back up. “She was crying?”
“Yes. You be bad man to Missy. You be ashamed. It’s Christmas, what you be bad man for?”
Ben reached into his back pocket for his leather wallet, took out a tip and gave it to the waiter. “Thanks for all of your efforts today. I’m sure it would have been great.”
The waiter snatched the ten pound note. “Yes, but you spoil it, bad man!”
Ben shrugged, what could he say? “I’ll learn one day.”
“Make sure you do. Missy very very lovely lady. You be lucky.”
“I know, I’ll go home and make it up to her.”
“Don’t be doing no jiggy jiggy Mister!” He pushed Ben back down onto the bar stool. “Wait here, you make it up to Missy with this.” He returned from the kitchen a couple of minutes later with a bulging white bag full of takeaway food. “Say it from Pritpal. Missy like Pritpal.”
Ben smiled. “Thanks Pritpal, I will.”
“Hey, you tell her she beautiful.”
Ben felt crushed. “I will.”
****
Lucy had returned to the apartment and deliberately chosen to re-enact her favourite scene from Bridget Jones’s Diary. Celine Dion’s ‘All by myself’’ was playing and she was basking in her new found depression with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate ice cream and her favourite pink fleece pyjamas. She pictured Ben, Lisa and Benny dancing around the Christmas tree singing ‘here we go round the mulberry bush’, declaring their love for one another and running off into a snowy sunset. The click of the heavy apartment door snapped her out of it and the instant enticing smell of Indian food was too hard to ignore. She lifted her head from the black leather sofa and felt her heart melt. Ben was standing in the hallway with his brown bomber jacket zipped up to his lips, a bulging bag of takeaway food in one hand and a pitiful bunch of handpicked flowers in the other. He raised his eyebrows and apologised with a loveable puppy dog look of sorrow.
Lucy was torn, usually one widening of his beautiful brown eyes was enough to have her forgiving his minor misdemeanours, jumping up to his waist and hauling him into the bedroom for make-up sex. This was different, this time she was going to hold her ground.
Ben saw her flop back onto the sofa and realised it would take more than some crappy flowers and his puppy dog eyes to sort this one out. He tiptoed across the laminate wood floor with his boots still on and knelt at the bottom of the sofa. He lifted the steaming bag to the black ash coffee table and unzipped his jacket, revealing a downturned mouth and even wider eyes.
“You know we always leave shoes at the door. Take them off.” Lucy was sharp.
Ben didn’t know how to play it. They never rowed and he knew he was in the wrong but he just didn’t know where to start. He swivelled onto his bottom and untied his laces. Lifting his boots he rose to his feet and crept back to the hall, placing them neatly on the shoe rack. He took off his jacket and hung it from the spare peg. Celine Dion finally tailed off and silence filled the room. He tiptoed back to the sofa and opened his mouth to speak. Celine Dion started up again.
Lucy had to smile. “It’s on repeat.”
Ben paused not knowing what to do.
Celine Dion sang loud and clear, ‘All by myself...’
He knelt at her knees. “I don’t want you to be all by yourself.”
Celine
continued, ‘Don’t wanna be, all by myself...’
“And I know it’s my fault that you’re all by yourself.”
‘Hard to be sure, sometimes I feel so insecure...’
“I’m the one who is being insecure. I’m insecure about everything at the moment.”
Lucy pressed the red button on her iPod remote, cutting Celine Dion in full flow. “I am not having you base your entire apology around this song, no matter how fabulous it is.”
“Oh, I wanted to get to that ‘Don’t wanna live by myself, by myself, anymorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre’ bit.”
She hurled a red bobbly cushion his way and laughed. “Why do I put up with you Ben?”
He jumped up next to her, relieved by the slight break in frostiness. “Because you love me and I love you and we are going to get married and have children of our own and live happily ever after.”
“Are we?”
He took her hand. “Yes we are ... and you put up with me because you can see what a life changing event I am going through and you understand how my head might get a bit messed up with it all sometimes. I’m not making excuses for myself but I guess I’m just struggling with my role.” He paused ruffling his messy hair. “I felt like I should have been there with him today.”
“But he already has a mummy and a daddy for that.”
“I know I know, that’s what Lisa said and it makes sense now. I am just confused.”
Lucy dropped the hand. “So you did go round to see her then?”
“No, I went round to see Benny. Listen Luce, Lisa and Gerald are the perfect couple-”
“No they’re not. He is about eighty and works abroad for most of the week. You suddenly come back into her life and start showing up on her doorstep and she thinks way-hey!”
“You are worth a million Lisa’s and a million Tanya’s and a million Tracey’s ... shall I list all of my ex-girlfriends?”