by Cooper Davis
Josh wrapped both arms about Hayden, clinging as if his life depended upon it, and answered Hayden’s cry with a wild call of his own. Back and forth they sang, growing more erect, more aroused, until desire rolled through Hayden like a pure explosion of need.
“Oh, God, baby!” Hayden barked on a string of sputtering curses. His body was a shaking, rutting mess, and he was so out of control, he feared he might come in less than five seconds. “Joshua! Damn.” He began thrusting with ferocious intent, blind to anything but the pure wolf instinct now in charge. His balls drew tight, pulling harshly, and he knew he was going to come almost as quickly as he’d hardened. Josh clearly experienced the same climax—and at the same precise moment—because his erection jerked between their bellies, spasming with orgasm. Josh groaned, arching back into the pillow, his hips riding hard off the mattress.
“Hayden!” he cried out, digging his fingers into Hayden’s buttocks, moving in union with Hayden’s frantic, demanding surges. Each time, Josh rose up, meeting the thrusts, spurting warm, coating jets between their bellies and chests.
Hayden finished off like a rocket himself, finally shouting and howling his release. Then they were rolling together, frenzied and not even close to true mating completion. Hayden had the dim thought that this ancient binding, this truly animalistic side of theirs, wasn’t nearly satisfied yet. They tumbled first in one direction and then the other until Josh was straddled atop him, spreading his own ejaculation between Hayden’s legs, coating him with a desperately shaking hand. With one quick glance, Hayden saw that his mate had grown erect a third time, the gleaming length of his arousal bobbing outward as he slicked Hayden for sex.
“I need to be inside of you,” Josh explained, panting in short bursts. “If I don’t fucking get inside you right now, I’m gonna fucking explode. I’m gonna come all over your belly if I can’t just get inside you. Right now.”
Hayden understood the sentiment and spread his legs eagerly, falling under Josh’s suddenly very commanding sway. He didn’t mind feeling Beta, not if his Alpha turned him on this powerfully. He wasn’t fully erect again, although his own arousal was starting to thicken and stretch anew. Damn, it was a level of physicality he’d never experienced before, not by himself, and certainly not with any other man he’d ever slept with. It had to be the mating act, had to be the marking scent all over their naked bodies.
Josh knelt between Hayden’s legs, still spreading slickness in preparation, and Hayden reached with a fumbling hand toward the bedside table. He grabbed the lube, giving it to Josh. “You’ll still need more of this.”
With a curse, Josh took the stuff, mumbling in frustration. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Man, I’m sorry, I’m a mess. I don’t have a fucking clue what’s right or wrong. I just know what I want. Who I want.” Josh lifted his bright gaze, locking on Hayden like a laser. “I know if I don’t take you in about thirty seconds, Garrett, I’m gonna explode or something. This mating urge is making me…horny as fucking hell!” Josh started laughing, brushing a damp lock of hair away from his eyes as he kept slicking Hayden’s opening, preparing him with shaking hands.
Hayden leaned up off the mattress until he faced Josh, and he took his mate’s face between both palms, hoping to still his manic reaction to their full mating. “Joshua,” he said firmly, but the other Alpha only planted slick palms on both of Hayden’s thighs, staring downward.
Hayden dragged Josh’s mouth to his. “Joshua, look at me,” he demanded, and slowly Josh’s gaze lifted until their eyes met across the short distance. “You are everything I ever wanted in all my life. This night? It’s my dream. You were always my dream. You’re my mate. How can you disappoint me?”
Josh leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together, still trembling all over. “I don’t understand what’s happening. The way my body’s reacting to this mating, it’s too much. It’s like, if I can’t just get this—” he reached between them, tugging on his erection,”—inside you, and now, I’m going to die. Or shatter…or…” Josh shook his head, and Hayden slid a hand to his nape, pinning him close.
“Breathe, babe. I already belong to you. It’s your wolf’s mating instinct, but you can breathe. You claimed me. I’m yours now. I’m already yours. Just slow down a little, okay. Relax and hold onto me.”
“You’re mine,” Josh repeated on a deep exhale. “Mine.”
Hayden nodded slowly, covering Josh’s mouth slowly, dragging his lower lip between his teeth. He sank his tongue deep into Josh’s mouth then, and in a flurry of arms and limbs, they rolled down onto the mattress. Their hands were all in each others’ hair. Hayden’s legs were opening wide, and with a mystical grace, he felt Josh pushing into the edge of his opening.
Hayden nodded his approval, thrusting his tongue deep within the other man’s warm cavern of a mouth. Josh’s marking scent began to flow off his skin anew, covering Hayden like the sweetest, most arousing dew. Like nectar from a rare, exotic plant, it filled his nostrils, stimulating him, and he answered in kind, marking Joshua’s entire body as his mate pushed farther and farther inside.
This was what forever felt like. It had to be.
Chapter Nine
Present day
The full moon rose in the distant sky, appearing unusually large. Hayden lifted his head high, sniffed at the air with his wolf’s senses, and released a mournful, plaintive cry. It had been days since he’d left Joshua chasing after him as he tried to make sense of the man’s surreal words. Every time Hayden recalled them, he was swamped with new grief, new confusion.
The council can’t urge us to do what’s already been done.
It wasn’t just those words that haunted him, either, but the raw expression on Joshua’s face, the broken, exhausted look in his vivid eyes. All of it chased Hayden more relentlessly than Josh had tried to do. The questions storming through his wolf’s mind were endless, and he vacillated between believing Josh told the truth about their mating, and deciding the Alpha was spinning a complex web of lies.
For five years Hayden had been heartbroken, lost—and, as Joshua observed—falling apart. Convinced that the only person he had ever loved or yearned for had turned on him as a traitor.
Surely he would remember making love with Joshua, mating with him for life. Wouldn’t he? How could he forget something so intense, so utterly primal that it came from their deepest wolf’s nature—and especially if the mating had happened with Joshua of all men.
Except, of course, he recalled nothing after their sweet, spellbinding kiss in the snow. Everything was a blank canvas from that point onward. Right up until the moment when he emerged from his six-week long coma. Right up until the cops had arrived at the intensive care ward, questioning him about the accident—an accident he couldn’t recall in the slightest.
Staring at the moon, Hayden forced his mind back to that night, determined to seize hold of at least a single fractured memory. Something to validate or disprove what Joshua had claimed about their relationship.
Perhaps it was the moon’s fullness or maybe the sheer intensity with which Hayden probed his lost memories, but an image flooded his mind suddenly. Flashing like a beacon into his consciousness, it startled him, rang with all the truth of genuine recollection—Joshua naked, straddling him in the truck, thrusting his hips hungrily.
Hayden grew stock still, and listened to the night sounds of the land about him, smelled the snow. The splintered image expanded, blossoming into a much fuller memory. He could taste Joshua’s mouth, scent his intense arousal. A spicy aroma filled his nostrils, so rich and musky, it could easily have been wafting past his nose now—and it matched the scent he’d caught off of Joshua in the bar the other night. It was the Alpha’s undeniable, alluring mating scent. The one Josh had claimed was meant to draw Hayden to his side, to compel him to mate.
Hayden sank down on his hind legs, then folded down onto the snowy earth, planting his head atop his paws. A deep, mournful emotion filled him, alarming his ver
y soul. All at once he did remember. And he recalled Joshua’s mating scent—not just from a few nights ago—but from long, long ago, as well. If only his memories would yield, giving him more details, more information. He released a plaintive, melancholy whine.
If Joshua had been telling the truth about their mating, then Hayden’s reaction to the confession must have killed him. Must have nearly destroyed whatever was left of the man’s heart. Might even have shattered whatever pitiful remnant remained of their original mating bond. Mates shared a psychic connection, a deep, pulsing link, which he and Josh didn’t have, so perhaps their mating had never fully taken hold.
I have to remember more…have to confirm it all with my own mind and heart.
He wasn’t sure how much remained in the elders’ timeframe now. But he felt pretty certain he’d been roaming for at least seven days, which didn’t leave him long to determine how he planned to respond to the council’s proposal. Of course, if Josh was telling the truth, then the elders weren’t even a factor in their mating equation. But the lack of psychic, soul-joining bond between them certainly would be. How could he and Joshua engage a connection that didn’t live between them? Their bond would be the mating proof the council demanded in order to sanction a joining between their two rival clans. It would be the proverbial wedding night test, and the elders’ were more than able to validate the link between any two mates—gay or not.
Hayden rose and bounded into the woods, determined that before he returned to Joshua, he’d reclaim the blank place in his memories. Then, and only then, would he return to the man he’d never stopped loving, ready to face their future, not their past.
“What happened to that totally cocky Alpha brother of mine?” Kira demanded, leaning both palms against the other side of his desk. She lowered her head, staring at him with eyes the same bright shade as Josh’s own. “And to your big, macho plan about wooing your mate, proving your love to him once and for all? I guess all that talk was nothing but hot air, huh?”
“Sis, don’t try and provoke me,” Josh said miserably, glancing up at his closed office door to ensure they really did have privacy for this particular chat.
His younger sister wasn’t about to be daunted—and such bold strength and tone were atypical for her, which only made his utter failure all the more depressing.
“Kira, I failed. Period.” He shook his head sadly. “I haven’t seen Hayden in eight days. He bounded away and turned wolf before we were even finished with the conversation, and I couldn’t catch him. He was too fast, hurting too much…and he’s still a stronger Alpha than me. Flat out, he outran me and never looked back.”
He’d been certain Hayden would respond to him, to his touch, his love, his confessions. But he’d underestimated just how far gone his mate was—and the impact of his own choices, ones which had brought his lover to such a low state.
He buried his face in his hands, willing the heartache away—willing their pasts to somehow, magically, be different. If only Hayden had never left his bed and house that early morning, but had instead called his folks and just…stayed. If only they’d held each other till the sun came up, till the fire in their loins had cooled. God, they would have made love all the next day, deepening and strengthening their mating bond, if only Hayden hadn’t driven away.
The “if onlys” were enough to make Joshua insane if he contemplated them long enough.
Kira moved around to his side of the desk, and, wrapping her lean arms about his neck, held him tight. “It’s not over yet, Joshua. Don’t you dare give up, not with as hard as you’ve fought to get here. You’ve made sure he’s safe. Those creeps are behind bars…now you make Hayden see how much he means to you. You get him to understand the truth.”
Josh hugged her and then rolled his chair backward, escaping her embrace. “I can’t find him, or you know that I would.”
She sat down on the edge of his desk, chewing her lower lip in thought. “So where do you think he is? On his own pack’s land?”
“Probably.”
“And you can’t go there, obviously—but can you send someone after him? His father?”
“His mom and dad have searched for him repeatedly over the past week. Followed his tracks, his scent, but they vanish in the river. He’s like a ghost wolf.”
She sighed, clearly understanding his frustration and pain. “Well then, you wait for him to come to you. You dig in and get really patient for once. It’s going to have to be on his terms. That’s obviously the message he’s trying to send you.”
Josh lifted his head, experiencing his first real hope since Hayden had vanished. “You think this is some kind of statement? His running like this?”
She rolled her eyes, smiling at him like he was a true idiot. “Look, you’ve got to do something radical here. Something that doesn’t come naturally to you, especially not with Hayden Garrett. You’ve got to stop blaming yourself so much. And you’ve also got to let go of your huge protective streak. Hard for an Alpha when his mate is in pain or threatened, I know.”
Josh growled low, an unstoppable instinct, then fell silent so his sister could continue.
“Just this once, sweetie,” she said, “you’ve got to allow this to go slow. Let your mate determine things…decide when he’s ready. Because there’s only one way you’ll wind up with what you want.”
“I don’t understand. What do you think I should do?”
“Simple.” She gave him a gentle, sympathetic smile. “You sit back and let Hayden Garrett come to you.”
Hayden settled in his makeshift den, rolling onto his side in sleepy agitation. It was morning, and he’d run for hours the night before. Sleep was demanding its due, which suited Hayden since these half-awake moments always yielded the richest, most vivid of his missing memories.
Closing his eyes, he lulled himself into sleep the way he always did these days; by thinking of Joshua and reviewing images and clues from their past, a past Hayden was slowly piecing back together. Soon he would return to human form—and to the human world he’d fled several weeks earlier.
By his calculations, he’d been roaming for seventeen days, maybe a day or two longer, he couldn’t be sure. He’d hunted and roved his pack’s land, had felt more wild and feral than ever before in his life. But he’d also done something far more important: He’d reclaimed four hours of missing memories. Only one blank spot remained, and even that was beginning to fill in because of his intense scrutiny.
As the hazy darkness had parted, revealing the truth of his past, he’d relived each awakening memory as if for the first time. As if it was not from five years in the past, but instead as if it were happening now. Hayden shifted again on his side, feeling dozy—yet impatient. The sooner he filled in of the last piece of his memories, the sooner he could…well, he had a whole list of plans for what he’d do then, but that moment wasn’t upon him just yet.
Sleep began to tug at him more strongly, and he once again relived the first time he and Josh had made love. God, it had been sweet, just like he’d promised it would be. Josh had a shockingly shy streak, and it had endeared him to Hayden even more, the way he’d grinned and tried to seem so unflappable. The bravado had crumbled almost immediately, however, with Josh leaning against his kitchen counter, shivering with arousal and nervousness. Then as they’d come together, Josh’s Alpha streak had emerged full blaze, the two of them almost battling together in that bed. Battling, claiming, joining, their sweat-slick bodies sliding together as if they’d been created for only one purpose. For those long, rough, erotic strokes and thrusts they shared as they became fully one.
As sleep claimed Hayden, a new memory flashed through his mind. Such a sexy and sweet one, imbued with utter contentment. The moment had been at the end of their lovemaking, and his body had felt sated, a little sore. A warm buzz humming through every cell in his body, he’d hated to leave Josh, even though he had no choice. So he’d climbed out of Joshua’s bed, prepared to head back to his folks house for a few
hours. Long enough to shower and change, invent some reason why he would be gone most of the day, and then return to Josh.
As Hayden hurriedly dressed, sliding his wireframes on, Josh stretched his arms overhead with a lazy yawn, revealing thatches of dark, curling hair beneath both arms. It was such a sexy, masculine picture, Hayden’s groin did a leaping two-step of excitement.
With a wicked grin, Joshua lowered a hooded, languorous gaze to the front of Hayden’s jeans. “You know, I’ve got a new goal in life. Getting that reaction out of you, Garrett, and as often as possible. That is one hell of a gorgeous sight…you all worked up over me.”
“Cut it out,” Hayden said, finding his wireframe glasses on the side table. He slid them over his eyes, and Josh came into much clearer view, which only made him more irresistible. “I’ve got to hit the road, baby. You know that.”
Josh folded his forearms beneath his head, still eyeing Hayden with a wolfish gleam in his exotic eyes. “Can’t blame me for trying to seduce you. Good God, after what we just did together, Hay?” Josh lifted an arm, acting as if he were up at bat. “We’ll call that the wind up. I’m only getting started with you. Home run yet to come.”
Yet to come. Why did Josh’s choice of words seem far from accidental?
Hayden flushed, imagining what Josh might have in mind. And already debating between climbing back atop him and going for said home plate all over again—or driving back to the house so his parents wouldn’t worry. He hadn’t brought his cell phone, and was afraid phoning them from Josh’s home or cell might garner suspicion. Breaking the news of his chosen mate was going to require quite a bit of finesse, especially considering they were each the heir apparent to their respective—and longtime rival—clans.