by Cooper Davis
“You see, Hayden, I didn’t care about what he did to me. It was you. I didn’t want him to touch you ever again, not like he’d touched me…not to end your life. Nothing. I would die myself to prevent it, and in a way, I did. Until I knew they were both behind bars and that I had a chance of winning you back, I was stone cold dead inside. Those five years, knowing what I’d done to your future, knowing that you believed I’d set you up…living without you…it was worse than I could have imagined. I felt, in a lot of ways, that I truly was dead.”
Hayden reached forward, pulling Josh into his arms. “You’re not alone anymore. You’ll never be alone again. Whatever happens to us…it happens to both of us. Never alone again. You’ve got to promise me that. Whatever comes our way…good or bad, we face it together.”
After a moment, Josh released a long, slow sigh. As if he’d unshouldered a great burden, as if a soothing sense of peace were settling over him. “I want you to know something,” Josh said softly. “It’s important that you know…I never slept with anyone else. I’ve been totally faithful to you.”
Hayden suddenly remembered all those women from the bars, the ones he’d seen Josh kissing and cruising around with. Josh seemed to follow his thoughts because he said, “I had to keep some pretty rough company while doing undercover work. You saw that, I know…because I saw you watching sometimes.”
“I was insanely jealous of those women,” Hayden admitted, holding Josh even tighter. “I wanted to climb the fucking walls whenever I saw you with anyone.”
“A mate’s possessiveness,” Josh agreed, nuzzling him.
“How’d you handle knowing I was supposedly single? That I thought I was?” Hayden asked, cringing as he thought of the fact that he had taken occasional lovers since their last time together. Nobody special; no one with forever stamped on their forehead, but he’d not gone five years without sex.
Josh growled and in a graceful movement had Hayden on his back, straddling him. “Don’t ever mention that to me again,” he said roughly. “I knew you’d have lovers, but I told myself that none of them would ever touch you like I had.”
Hayden smiled slowly, sliding both hands to Josh’s waist. “A cop on top. Now this is every gay man’s fantasy—complete with uniform and weapons.” He fingered Josh’s badge, flicking it with his fingers. “Very hot, baby.”
Josh didn’t laugh or smile. His eyes narrowed as he stared down at Hayden, his chest heaving with quick pants. He was clearly upset by the mention of Hayden being with other men during the past five years, but Hayden wasn’t going to let him focus on that fact. He slid a couple of fingers beneath the buttons of Josh’s uniform shirt, and popped them loose.
Then stroking his hard, firm abdomen, Hayden moved to the next lower button. “Although I love the uniform, Joshua, I love the idea of stripping you out of it even more. But only if you’re game…and I will be very gentle, I promise.” Slowly he eased his hand lower, moving toward the decided ridge in the front of Josh’s pants, but suddenly his lover flinched.
Hayden frowned as he recalled how Josh had been abused. That he’d never been touched out of love again in more than five years made his chest tighten and ache.
“Joshua, you know…actually, I think tonight we should just get reacquainted. Hold each other a while, maybe do a little kissing here and there, but nothing too overwhelming, not tonight,” he said, cupping Josh’s hips in both palms. “We’re going to work our way up to making love again. It’ll be like our very first time when it finally happens, but I’m going slow with you, Joshua. Slow and gentle and loving.”
Josh’s chest rose and fell even more quickly, and suddenly he leaned forward, splaying both palms on Hayden’s chest. “Would you hold me? All night, until the sun rises, Hayden, please…just hold me.”
“I’ll hold you, Joshua, and watch over you while you sleep,” Hayden said softly, sliding a palm upward until it was over his mate’s heart. “From now on, I’m going to do the protecting around here. I’ll hold you close all night long, and when you wake in the morning, baby? I’ll still be holding you. So, yeah, you just sleep…I’ll do the rest.”
Chapter Twelve
“Geez, Josh, you’re acting like it’s a first date or something.” Kira kept watching him pace in sympathetic disbelief.
Great. As if it weren’t bad enough that he felt iron-winged butterflies in his stomach as he waited for Hayden to show up at his office, now his kid sister was watching him sweat it out.
It’s a lunch, he told himself. Only a lunch…date.
“In a way,” he told her, drawing in a calming breath, “it is a first date. Well, second date, to be more precise.”
“Joshua!” she cried, thunking her forehead with the heel of her palm. “He belongs to you! Didn’t you two just spend all of last night together?”
Josh couldn’t help it, her blunt comment made him flush a little even if they’d only held each other. Damn, they’d barely kissed at all, just nuzzled and stroked until Josh had drifted into the deepest, most satisfying slumber he’d experienced in years. He’d only woken once, dimly aware that he’d been snoring, his head atop Hayden’s chest.
Still, the idea that Kira knew he’d slept in anyone’s bed, any man’s—especially one he wanted with downright painful intensity—was just a little too close for comfort. “Don’t go there,” he growled, stopping to examine his reflection in the mirror that hung on the back of his closed door. “Nothing happened at all. We just slept.”
“Yeah, right.” Kira chuckled. “I can so see that happening.”
He cast an innocent glance at his sister in the mirror, and resumed combing his hair. “That is all.”
She giggled. “I guess that’s why they call it sleeping together, huh?”
“Kira, we kissed…that’s about it.”
“Did you share a bed?”
Josh swallowed hard, avoiding her gaze. “All right, we kissed and held each other for a long time,” he admitted, hating the way he blushed.
Kira smiled at him in the mirror. “My point, big brother, is that he’s your mate. He belongs to you totally.” Her tone was playful, yet exasperated when she added, “There’s no dating in mating.”
He ran quick hands over his curls once more. No matter how short he kept his hair, it always stayed a little unruly. “There’s dating leading to mating.”
“Yeah, but your sitch is already a done deal. You claimed him five years ago and he claimed you. Having sex again, well, you’re just picking things back up.”
She sat at the desk behind him, and in the mirror he caught her gaze seriously. “Kira, we never had all that. One date, that was it. If life had been different, we would have had a bunch of dates after joining. Or even before joining. We had nothing. In a way, we’ve got to get to know each other, okay?”
She smiled at him, staring at him in the reflective glass. “I get it, Joshua. I’m just saying…you don’t need to be nervous, sweetie. He loves you. He’s all yours. Relax a little.”
He grinned slowly, straightening his uniform collar and then smoothing the front of the shirt. “Besides, who says that mates don’t keep on dating?” he asked. “You’ve got to keep the romance alive, right?”
“As if I’d know? I’ve been in a date drought since, like, high school.” She leaned back in his desk chair. “But for the record, Officer Peterson, I don’t think keeping the romance hot is going to be an issue for you and Hayden.”
A soft knock sounded on the office door and Josh jolted slightly, stepping backward. In a flurry of motion, Kira waved him over to the desk chair, then moved forward to open the door herself. “Come sit down over here. That way you won’t look so anxious and overeager.” Then with a roll of her eyes and an exaggerated stage whisper added, “For your own mate’s arrival.”
“You should be more sympathetic,” he hissed back, feeling his face flush even hotter.
“You should be more confident!” She smiled and blew him a kiss, then opened the door with a
flourish—only to stagger backward in surprise.
Hell yeah, being confronted with a human mountain was one heck of a shock, no doubt. Ben Orson filled the entire doorframe, and at six-foot-seven or so to Kira’s diminutive five-foot-three, it was like unexpectedly bumping into a moose. Slowly she craned her head upward until they made eye contact, and Josh smirked. As gentle and beta as his kid sister was, she wasn’t easily overwhelmed by anyone—wolf or human, male or female. But quiet, lumbering Ben clearly managed to do it, and by the simple act of appearing in the doorway.
“I’m Ben,” he said, his voice a soft rumble. “You’re Kira Peterson.”
She kept craning her neck to look at him, never even seeing his extended palm. “How’d you know that?”
Kira had only started coming around the station in the past few weeks, and with Ben often out on patrol, they hadn’t met. Josh leaned back in his chair, enjoying watching his sister squirm. She deserved to be thrown off her game for once, especially after her earlier teasing.
Ben smiled slowly, that very familiar sideways grin. “Well, I’m an officer of the law, ma’am.” He inclined his head politely. “I have my ways of obtaining critical information.”
That comment, however, spooked Josh somewhat, reminding him as it did of the eerie way Ben seemed to know about Hayden.
Kira shivered at his remark, almost as if shaking her wolf’s coat free of unwelcome water or mud. As if she, too, were unsettled by some unsaid portent in Ben’s innocuous words.
Ben glanced down at his still-extended hand, realizing that Kira couldn’t see it, not with her head jacked back so she could look him in the eye. Appearing resolved, he reached down, bending a little, and took hold of Kira’s hand. Not in a formal shake, but more of a gentle, curling caress.
“I’ve known I’d meet you soon,” Ben said softly.
Kira shivered again, blinking at Ben as if mesmerized. “Wh-what?”
“You’re Josh’s sister,” he explained with a nod, making it seem that his words hadn’t been imbued with mystery and unspoken meaning. “I knew I’d meet you.”
“Ohhhh.” Kira stared at their joined hands and then quickly squirmed out of Ben’s grasp.
Ben smiled down again before lumbering past her and toward Josh. “Uh, Chief has some good news for you, Sarge. He called from the courthouse and asked me to fill you in.”
Josh sat up in his desk chair, instantly alert and wondering if this good news related to the Rawlings-Keener case. A vague part of his mind wondered if Hayden would walk in on this meeting, and the thought of Hayden hearing anything at all about those murderous creeps made his blood run cold. Ben kept talking. “Rawlings and Keener? They tried to bring a motion about your undercover work—”
Josh slammed a fist on the desk. “Chief said there was no motion!”
“They tried to bring one to the judge apparently, as of this morning.”
“Why wasn’t I told?” Josh demanded, his heartbeat racing.
Hayden had to be safe, those thugs had to stay locked up…
“Chief said he hadn’t wanted to get you all worked up over nothing.”
“That pair filing a motion for dismissal sure as hell isn’t nothing.”
Kira piped in. “Joshua,” she prompted softly, “didn’t you hear what Ben said? It’s good news, sweetie. Good news.”
His pulse calmed a little and he rubbed his brow, instantly covered in sweat. “Go on, Orson,” he said after a moment. “I’m listening.”
“So, the motion was dismissed as of twenty minutes ago. The trial’s been set for next month.”
Kira squealed, hurling herself at Josh, both arms looping about his neck. He could only blink at the other officer, stunned, as he folded his kid sister close. Ben smiled at him, a strangely knowing look in his black eyes. “Thought you’d like that.”
Ben turned to go, rolling his big shoulders as he moved.
“Hey, Orson!” Josh called after him, and Ben paused, glancing over his shoulder.
“Yeah, Sarge?” One black eyebrow rode upward curiously.
“What did you mean last night? With…you know, what you said?”
Ben tilted his head slightly as if he had no recollection at all about his hinted promise that Hayden remained alive. “Not sure what you mean there, Peterson.”
Josh just shook his head. “I’ll get it out of you,” he promised with a wry grin. “One way or another, you’ll fess up.”
Ben was already turning away, but Josh would have sworn—would have laid very big money on the fact—that he heard the giant murmur, “Glad your mate’s back.”
Lunchtime was always packed at the Over the Moon Saloon, and Hayden was thankful that he’d called ahead. He felt Josh’s body press close behind his as they wove their way through the standing-room-only bar crowd. When Hayden had to pause to let a few people pass by, Josh collided into his backside, and for one glorious moment, Hayden reveled in feeling such heat coming off his mate—and right in public.
In fact, when the knot of tourists in front of him surged forward, Hayden stayed put for an extra thirty seconds or so, just to soak in Josh’s woodsy, delicious scent. Plus, he loved the fact that his own scent was all over his mate. Yeah, he’d marked the other wolf thoroughly last night. He couldn’t help his strong possessive streak. He was Alpha, after all, and he’d finally reclaimed Josh after five long years of separation.
Josh’s sturdy hand reached forward, clasping Hayden’s forearm. “What’s the hold up?” he asked, his view of the aisle blocked by Hayden’s larger size and height.
Hayden turned slightly, glancing at Josh. “You,” he murmured, giving his lover a demure smile. “I was enjoying the full body contact.”
Josh released his arm and gave him a slight shove in the back. “Keep walking, Hay. I’m starved.”
Hayden loped forward, his eye on the reserved booth that he’d specifically had set aside for them. As he reached the table, he gave Josh a slightly sheepish glance; Josh released a low, rumbling laugh. It was the same booth they’d sat in seven weeks earlier, that first night they’d met to discuss the elders’ mandate.
“Thought we might try this again,” Hayden said, sliding into the seat.
Josh stripped off his jacket, fumbled in his pockets for his keys and badge and tossed them onto the table with a meaningful smile. “Gotta be comfortable, you know. For an important talk like this one.”
“Here I was thinking it was all about the load in your front pocket,” Hayden teased. “You know that’s of very keen interest to me.”
Josh settled into the booth, reaching for the appetizer menu. He made a big show of reading over it, like he’d never eaten at Over the Moon before in his life. And he blushed. A lot.
“Did I embarrass you?” Hayden asked, swatting Josh with his own menu. Finally the guy looked up and met his gaze. A slight smile began at the edges of his lips, an expression Hayden had once considered a smirk. He knew better now.
Shy. Such a totally shy guy.
“I’m nervous as shit,” Josh confessed after a moment, his smile growing broader. “I know, totally lame.” He stared down at the table again, avoiding Hayden’s intense gaze.
Hayden moved his long legs, pressing them close to Josh’s beneath the table. Nobody else could see, but his mate would feel the physical connection, their bodies brushing together. “Your shy streak charms the pants off me, baby,” he said. “But you don’t have any reason to be nervous with me. Never.”
Hayden moved his legs again, pinning Josh’s own knees between his own. Holding him tight until Josh slowly lifted his gaze. As always, his unusual, beautiful eyes stole Hayden’s breath. “God, you gorgeous thing, you. I’m glad you waited for me.”
Josh laughed, raking a hand over his short hair. “Like I’d have given up.”
“You might’ve.”
His mate shook his head. “Not on you, Hay. Not a chance.” Then Josh leaned back in the booth, much more relaxed. “So, what do you plan to do abo
ut the elders’ mandate? We missed their deadline.”
Hayden’s heart skipped a beat. “But…we’re…What do you mean? I didn’t think that mattered.”
Joshua’s face split into a huge, wonderful smile. “Gotcha.”
“You little fucker. For a minute I actually thought…”
“You deserve a little payback for all the worrying you put me through,” Josh said, taking a sip of water. “But today’s too important. Too special for me to give you shit.”
Hayden nodded in agreement. “Big stuff. The rest of our lives, and all that.”
Josh planted both elbows on the table, leaning in toward Hayden. “Actually,” he said in a quiet, sultry voice, “I was thinking more like our first date. I’ve got to make a very good impression.”
“Second date,” Hayden corrected, eyes lowering so that his lashes dropped seductively. “We did the first date thing five years ago.”
Josh slid one palm across the table slowly, daring to graze fingertips against Hayden’s knuckles. “You didn’t lose respect for me just ’cause I gave it all up on the first night out, did you?”
Hayden turned his palm, threading his fingers together with Josh’s. “No, but I’m willing to start over at first base. And lucky us, there is no second base so we can go straight to third.”
When the bartender approached, they released their hold on each other, snapping apart guiltily. Thank God it was a man they both knew, Jake Orson, whose brother Ben worked with Josh. Jake had been on their baseball team back in high school so the three of them went back a long way, and like just about everyone else in their relatively small town, Jake knew Hayden was gay.
As for Josh and his sexual orientation, however, it would be a definite Jackson newsflash, and Hayden would leave that up to his mate. Josh’s timetable, his choice, just as it had been for Hayden. Besides, it was going to be even trickier for Josh as an officer of the law, so Hayden knew that the process might take a little time. Not that he cared. He had Josh back in his life, in his arms and heart—and his bed. Everything else was just window dressing to him.