“Good. Scribes are a valuable resource, and the First Legionnaire was very impressed by your earlier conversation. He has requested you as an aide.”
“Who?” He already knew the answer, but he wanted her to say it.
“First Legionnaire Taehrn Andren.” She spoke as though this were information every person should know; as if Jem were a dullard. Trin shot him an accusing glance, though her anger was short lived when she saw Jem’s expression. He felt his stomach contract. So, Taehrn wants me close. Why else would he conscript me? That was fine with Jem.
“There is no other way?” Bell asked.
“Only death.” When no one objected, Marl went on. “The two of you are hereby inducted for temporary service. Miss Cavahl, gather your things and report to Grand Legionnaire Cyleste. Boy,” she said, turning to Jem. “You will be notified.” She saluted and nodded to Bell. “At your business.”
Bell’s cohorts had watched all of this without comment. When Marl reached them, they parted to let her pass. None saluted.
“I’m sorry, Jem.”
Jem turned to Trin in surprise. She was sorry?
“Bell told me what you said to him last night. I’m sorry about your father. I know how that is.”
“It’s fine.”
“Good,” Trin grunted. “Now where the Butcher have you been all day? Didn’t Hald give you my message? I went to return Bell his flask and when I come back to get you, you were gone. I almost thought you had left without me. And what’s this I hear about you talking to Taehrn? Don’t tell me I’ve got two blooding traitors, between you and Bell. Probably was your trap all along, right Bell?”
Bell tried to defend himself but didn’t manage a single word.
“Don’t even try. I know how it happened. Taehrn buttered ya up somehow and sent you to slow me down and then escort me to this very spot so that he could rope me into this godsdamned war.”
Bell started to protest. Again, he failed.
“Shut it. Just accept that this is your fault, Bell.” She faced Jem. “And you, so that’s all it takes, huh?”
“All what takes?” Jem asked.
“I know what you told Bell.” She raised her voice to include Bell’s soldiers. “Turns out, ya need a man in uniform to get this boy’s tongue wagging.” Turning back to Jem, she added, “Bet you gave Taehrn a mouthful. Or vice versa.”
“I think you mean an earful,” Jem offered.
“I know what I said.”
Understanding, Jem smiled.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Trin seethed as they crossed the bridge. She was grateful, her heart brimming with love at Jem’s outburst – that he would put himself forward like that… That he would sacrifice himself and his happiness for her… Who else in her life had ever made such a selfless gesture like that? Certainly not Taehrn – but all that was shadowed by her rage toward her former fiancé. She was going to kill him. She’d said that a lot in her life. She’d said it almost every time she’d seen his butchering ass over the last twenty years, and yet, against her better judgement, the butcher still lived. But this time, she meant it. Taehrn was going to die.
“You all right, Trin?” Bell’s hand was on her arm. She fought the urge to yank her arm back and knock him over the railing. They were walking side by side, with Nance on her right, the cart trailing behind them. Her hands were tight on Nance’s reins.
This isn’t Bell’s fault, she thought, but in a way, it was. Bell was part of this. He was the kind of butcher that enabled Taehrn, the kind of butcher that looked the other way when Taehrn pulled this kind of conniving bullshit.
But that wasn’t fair. She knew that wasn’t fair. Bell couldn’t help that he was an idiot, or that Taehrn was the most capable sociopath she’d ever met. She touched her hand to her breast pocket, where the page from Teachings of a Whore was nestled in its hiding place. Perhaps the truth was, that none of them could help it. This was the world, as designed by Fate.
“No,” she grated. She glanced behind her, not wanting to look at Bell. It’s not his fault, she repeated, but she still didn’t want to look at him. She had to save her anger for Taehrn, and if she looked at Bell, she knew her anger would wane.
Jem was a few paces behind Bell, alongside the cart, his face pale despite the color he’d gotten the day before. For his sake, for the kindness he had shown her, she kept her answer to the one word.
Bell’s head turned to follow her gaze, and then his hand squeezed on her forearm. “Maybe it’s not what you think,” he whispered.
Of course it’s what I think, Trin thought. When it came to Taehrn, it was always what she thought, because when it came to Taehrn, she always thought the worst, and she was always right. She chose not to answer.
“Come on, Trin. There might be another reason. I’m sure it’s all just a misunderstanding.”
“There’s no misunderstanding.”
“There might be, you don’t know that.”
“Fate doesn’t misunderstand, and neither does Taehrn.”
“Trin-”
“Shut it.” She didn’t want to repeat the conversation of the night before, or even think of it. Butchering Bell, this isn’t the time for you to be right, you blooding moron. This is the time for you to shut your butchering mouth, and defer to people who really know something. Would she do it? she wondered. Would she really do it? If it came to it, if that was the only way to end this, to make things right, to keep her loved ones safe, would she kill herself, like the page said?
She swallowed and quickened her pace, but there was nowhere to go. Bell’s fellows were stretched out before her, beyond them, a wall of bodies funneling onto the road at the other end of the bridge. There were more soldiers behind, well back and away from them, but in thick enough numbers that she couldn’t flee, not with the cart. It wasn’t like she could, anyway. The Legion killed deserters, especially conscripts. One way or another, their lives were over. Poor Jem. He was only a boy, and from what Bell said, he’d seen enough already.
She shook off Bell’s touch and thrust the reins at him. Bell frowned, but took them without a word. He watched her as she slowed to walk beside Jem.
“You all right?” she asked.
Jem nodded. He looked like he was going to puke.
“Thank you,” Trin said. “That was kind… I’m sorry for what I said last night.”
“I…” Jem gave her a shocked glance. “I should apologize to you.”
“Yes, you should. You were a prick, but so was I. I’m sorry, and thank you.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Good. We’re both sorry. Let’s put it behind us. Nothing but the drinks talking, right?”
Jem shrugged at her.
Despite her anger, she laughed. “Yeah, shrug about it, ya little shit. You think these bruises make me ugly, wait till you see what I do to Taehrn. You know, Taehrn, boy?”
The look he gave her was funny. Like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “Your… fiancé? Of course.”
“Well, don’t you worry. He’ll get his, got it?”
Jem frowned at her for a long moment, his lips a narrow line, his face still white. “Sure.”
His answer just made her angrier. Gods, he’s barely keeping it together. Of course he is. They said scribe, but bullshit. A young kid like him, they’ll use any excuse they can, and then he’ll be on the lines, up with Bell and the others. And what’s this kid know about fighting? Taehrn was going to die.
They reached the mass of bodies funneling off the bridge. Bell’s squad had reached it before them, and were lazing near the ledge, staring down into the river as they waited for the crowd to disperse. In the distance, Trin could just make out Marl’s blood-red horse, on the edge of the fanning crowd, waving people past. She wondered whose side that woman was on. Was she really Taehrn’s, or was she just some pawn in his game? Taehrn had influence. He had power. The only thing he didn’t have was money. If he wanted, he could throw her to the wolves and no one
would think to question it. No one would dare to question it, because doing so would put them up against the might of the Legion, and probably the Magistrate besides.
Trin couldn’t take it. “Jem,” she said, looking at Bell as she said the word. “You trust me?”
Jem opened his mouth, closed it, and frowned. After a grudging moment, he gave the slightest hint of a nod. Little shit.
Gods, she liked him. Who else had been so selfless?
“Good,” Trin said, still looking at Bell, begging him to defy her. She was mad at Taehrn, sure. She didn’t hate Bell, sure, but Bell needed some humbling, too. After their conversation last night, with all his doubt, all his worry, all the grief he’d given her, Bell needed some humbling. Without an answer, Trin gave Jem a wink and Bell a cocky smile before she sped her pace and thrust herself into the mass of bodies. “Watch the cart, Bell.”
Bell scowled as she broke away, seemingly uncertain whether he should follow, or whether he should keep his distance. Either way, the hesitation cost him. Trin was free, and she wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to think.
Before Bell had the chance to pass off the reins, Trin was pushing herself through the crowd, skirting the edge of the bridge where the crowd was thinnest, knowing that her destination lay on the other end of all these people. The Legion soldiers, despite being members of the same organization, reacted to her imposition in different ways. Some felt her hand and parted politely. Others glared at her like she was Death itself, which to be fair, maybe one day she would be. But those butchers didn’t know that!
It was slow going, but she knew she only had to be faster than Bell. If he followed, he’d try to stop her, because surely, he knew what had to be coming, and Bell was a man that hated confrontation.
Marl had said that Trin was to report to the Grand Legionnaire, but like shit was she going to do that first.
She made it through the crowd and off the bridge. She saw Marl on her horse and flashed her a wide grin. The Legion’s Herald gave Trin a curious glance, to which Trin responded with a polite mouthing of the words, “Fuck you.”
Marl scowled, but didn’t follow. The bitch simply stayed on her horse, her gate-guard-at-sunset ushering pausing for only a fraction of a second.
The Legion’s column sprawled before her, the soldiers trying to reform into even ranks after clearing the chokepoint of the bridge, yet failing miserably. Trin went around, treading through mud kicked up by feet and hooves, not caring that she received a few glares from men and women jealous that they couldn’t do the same. Every one of them had to know this marching in formation shit was a total racket.
She spotted the back of Taehrn’s head from a long way away, which only made her feel dirty. Sure, she’d known him a long time, had even loved him once, but she didn’t like that she could identify the butcher from thirty paces – that kind of intimacy should only be reserved for people she actually liked.
But today it was an advantage. Because she was going to ruin him. He thought he could march in and hold her hostage like this? Thought he could use her friends – use a godsdamned child like Jem – as a bargaining chip in his quest for her father’s inheritance? No butchering way. Lila could drown for all Trin cared; if she could think it was okay to let Taehrn do this kind of shit, she was no kind of sister.
Taehrn was surrounded by officers, legionnaires in pompous tabards with flamboyant smiles on horses that would cost a life’s work for most men. She didn’t hate wealth, but these were a different kind of people. People who’d never made wealth, who’d only stolen it; the kind that had sentenced her father to years in prison for digging through the trash.
It was a chance thing, but Taehrn saw her before she could strike. He must have seen her face, because he was all laughs and smiles as he broke away from his group of sycophants and loped his way to the side of the road to meet her.
“What do you want?” he whispered. From atop his horse, it wasn’t much of a whisper, but with the bustle of the Legion soldiers all around, it was enough to keep their conversation private. He wore that shit-eating grin of his. The one that had made her feel important, way back when.
She didn’t see a reason to beat around the bush. “Why am I here?” she asked.
Taehrn pulled back his chin, giving her a look like she’d asked him to kick a baby. Well… that maybe wasn’t so accurate. Taehrn’d probably kick a baby if the reason was right, and without balking.
“Why did you bring me here?”
Taehrn spared a glance at her, before his happy smiled turned back to his group of retainers off ahead of them. They weren’t looking, but surely Taehrn must be worried that they might, and that maybe Trin would make a scene. Good, she thought. She hoped they did look, and she certainly meant to cause a scene.
“What are you talking about?”
She nearly lost it. “Why was I conscripted?” Trin asked, her tone far kinder than was merited.
“Conscripted? When?”
“Ten butchering minutes ago.”
“I’m certain I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Trin laughed an incredulous laugh. “Right. You’re not the reason.” She glared up at him. “Can you get off your blooding horse?”
Taehrn’s composure failed for a brief second. His eyes were for the column beside them, not her. The blooder cared more for his godsdamned reputation than he did his family. This was a serious matter; did he really think she wouldn’t make a scene?
“Is this about last night?”
“No,” Trin balked. “This is about today. Why in butcher’s name am I here? Why’d you bring me here?”
He looked at her, his smile never fading, but his eyes screaming curses at her. “I didn’t bring you here.” He said it from the corner of his mouth. He reined his horse, inching it farther from the column, forcing her away from the crowd.
“Don’t give me that,” Trin said, sidestepping his horse. This was just like him. It never mattered what she had to say, it only mattered that she didn’t say it anywhere that might embarrass him.
“Honest. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She glared up at him. “Really? You don’t know that I was conscripted?”
“This is the first I’m hearing of it, I assure you.”
“Bullshit. You did this.”
“Bullshit? Honestly, Trin, I want you nowhere near me.”
“Don’t give me that. This is about Lila and the baby. You think if you pull me along for a few months that I’ll give in? I’m not giving you shit. My father left the ships to me, not you and Lila. You think he did that on accident?”
Taehrn sighed and rolled his eyes. She was surprised. Somewhat. The gesture was emotive enough she could have sworn she saw the horse sighing with him. But, she knew she’d gotten under his skin the night before. It was rare that she could chase him out of the room like she’d chased him out of the inn. It should have been a victory, but here she was, under his control, surrounded by his kind of people.
“I’m sure your father had his reasons.” His glance still trained on the crowd beside them. He wore a false smile, but that couldn’t hide his discomfort. It was a bullshit answer.
“Taehrn, you think you can give me empty nonsense and stock phrases, and that I’ll just go away? You’ve got to know me better than that.”
Taehrn sighed. “Truly, Trin. I don’t know what you’re talking about. When did this happen? Who did it?”
Trin scoffed. “You!” she said. “You did it! You conscripted me, and Jem.”
“Oh,” Taehrn said.
“Oh? That’s all you’ve got to say?”
Taehrn didn’t answer.
“I’m not leaving till you let me go home, Taehrn. You better write an order, or call over one of those flunkies, because I’m not going anywhere until you’ve fixed this.”
His smile was strained. She could tell he was losing his patience. “I don’t want you here.”
“Oh, please.”
<
br /> “Trin. I am a very busy man,” he spoke the words as though each was a full sentence. “I. Do not. Want you here.” He was still looking at everyone else.
“Let me go home.”
His glare flashed to her. His thighs pressed upon his horse, and again she was forced farther from the crowd. “I’m being serious,” he spat. “I don’t want you here. I don’t want you anywhere near me.”
“Don’t-”
He cut her off. “Don’t what? Tell you the truth? Here’s the truth, Trin. You’re caustic and self-destructive. Paranoid and superstitious. Why would I want you anywhere near me?”
Trin’s anger waned, and then it resurged stronger than ever. He dared to say that kind of shit to her? While he was doing this shit to her? To a kid like Jem?
“I’m not giving you shit, Taehrn. None of it.”
Taehrn kept a calm face, but he laughed through his nose. “Please. You’ve thrown away your future and discarded your family for an imaginary plight and a false sense of freedom. I don’t want you here, you’re an abyss, Trin, and everyone around you suffers.”
“Fuck you.”
His smile faltered. He dropped the act, his face turning fully toward her. It wasn’t a happy a face.
“Fuck me?” he asked, his lip curling, his glare damning. “No, Trin. Fuck your father, apparently. Because that’s what you’ve done.”
Trin opened her mouth, but he barreled over her.
“You think he wanted to die without you there? You think he wanted his estate and his fortune left without someone to manage it? I didn’t bring you here, and I don’t want you here, but if you think your father left the money to you because you’d do a better job, you’re more insane than I thought. He left it to you out of pity, Trin. Because he knew as well as I that your life is in fucking shambles. That me and Lila would be okay, but little Trin, the family mess would need all the help that she can get. And you know what’s great? If not for me and Lila it’d all be gone, the whole thing, the ships, the money, all of it. And what thanks do we get for it? Nothing. Just more blame. And for what? So you could parade yourself off to Lock for a few months, not a word to anyone.”
Death's Merchant: Common Among Gods - Book One Page 20