Kenneth nodded and turned, shouting to Acklin before he reached the tent. Acklin’s response came as a mangled cry of sleepy disappointment.
Perval’s eyes followed Kenneth, looking concerned. “What’s she want with us?” he asked. “We’re just scouts.”
“Something to do with the High Cleric, I’d wager,” Bell said. The excuse wasn’t convincing, not even to him. The Grand hadn’t approached Trin because of Trin’s experience with the High Cleric. Trin had even less contact with the man than Bell did, and frankly, Bell had believed it when the Grand had said that her concern was with Bell himself. If only I knew why. As far as Bell was concerned, he’d done nothing special to warrant her attention. But I must have said something. Until I confronted her, she looked about ready to string me up.
“Did it occur to anyone else that she sent us to the front and then cancelled the attack after talking to Bell?” Perval asked.
Skibs turned his head, frowning. “Aye. Seems strange ter me.”
“What are you suggesting?” Bell asked.
Perval spread his hands, palms at his waist, and turned up to the sky. “Just odd, that’s all.”
“Like she felt threatened by us,” Rise added.
Perval nodded vigorously. “Exactly. And I wouldn’t put it past that one. You don’t think…”
The accusation was left unuttered. Perval’s face paled as if he’d seen a ghost and then decided to copy its complexion.
“She wouldn’t do that,” Bell said, but he wasn’t as convinced as he tried to sound. The Grand had ordered his squad to the front and then asked to speak with him. If I’d said anything different, would she have ordered the attack? He didn’t want to know the answer.
It was possible she might do exactly that. The Grand was the head of Just’s cult and Justice was too complicated a concept for Bell to understand. What seemed like injustice was too often branded as its opposite.
“Did you get that fire started yet?” Rise asked.
“Nawh,” Skibs groaned. “The damned wood won’t light. Not even a spark.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
From swallowing dust to the head of the column. All it takes is to be known. Is that the flaw or the design? Who was he kidding? With men like Taehrn at the helm, of course it was the design. Who needed glory and heroism, when you could have station and wealth?
Taehrn and Trask… they are two different beasts. One spurred by desire, the other by preservation. The Legion’s preservation. Jem’s father, the Deacon Indaht Trask had never cared for himself, he had only ever cared for the honor of the Legion. If the mines failed, the Legion failed, which could not happen. More blood and more men should equal more iron, but mineshafts are not battlefields or wishing wells where such delusions were true.
Indaht’s mistakes were not design, but flaw. He did not see that his actions sullied the Legion worse than failure ever could. I should have killed him sooner… I should have told the truth, forced Taehrn to take Indaht instead of my uncle.
But, how could I? A different beast, but equally insidious. Taehrn wants too much for me to trust him. He wants too much for me to stand at his side and he’s gone too far to ensure the outcome. But why?
The deaconship and the money, most likely. For now, the deaconship was a dead title, and the money was locked away. As soon as Jem married, the money could be retrieved, at which point, they would probably kill Jem. They might wait long enough to have the deaconship restored, then kill him, and hope it passed to Lissahn’s daughter, but it seemed a large risk for them, to keep Jem alive that long.
Jem sighed. It was useless to run the scheme over in his head again and again, but he kept doing it. Now that he knew what Taehrn was planning, Jem felt the need to always be a step ahead of the man. And yet… he had never been a step ahead, not in the past. Not with Jem’s uncle…
Jem had been thinking a lot about those events. Even knowing that Taehrn had forced him to sign that testimony, Jem felt guilty for his actions. There was a tinge of doubt which plagued him, the knowledge that he had done it not for the fear of his own death, or the fear of bodily harm, but out of the fear that he would lose both his father and his uncle. Taehrn had given him a choice. Jem’s uncle or both. He’d chosen his father over none.
Does that make Taehrn and I allies in truth, bound by the same goals? Have we worked together from first meeting as Taehrn implies? Have we served one another’s needs without knowing what we do? Does that make us allies?
No.
All those deeds that have aided him are those I regret. My uncle. My father. The miners. I regret all of those things. I want all of them to be different… Jem had never been Taehrn’s ally. The only aid Jem had offered had been given under duress. That was why Jem needed to kill him. Not for vengeance, but to stop the man from harming others the way he’d done to Jem.
But that left Trin exposed. He couldn’t protect her without first knowing Taehrn’s real goals. Taehrn had spoken as though Trin had no part in his plans, but if he had tried to convince her to sign over her father’s wealth, then she was a bigger part in this than Taehrn claimed. And on top of that, there was the chance that Taehrn had spoken true; the chance that any harm to Taehrn or his reputation might ruin Trin and her family.
Taehrn had done his best to befriend Jem, but his efforts were in vain. At times, the man was friendly. At times, the man was polite. But he was not moral.
Despite Taehrn’s efforts, Jem’s mind hadn’t changed. Jem would not be bought with a deaconship, and Taehrn was going to die. But… Jem had eased on one point. Since learning of Bell’s innocence, he had begun to consider Trin’s alternative; that Jem put his weight behind men like Bell to ensure the Legion had a brighter future. In many ways, Jem still wanted the Legion to die. It seemed the best course, the cleaner course, but…
But Trin was the only person Jem could really trust. She was the only real hope he had of not hating himself. The time they had spent together was changing him. In her presence, he was not as angry. Seeing the fear in her eyes, each and every day, and watching her maintain the strength of will to overcome it – to do these things, and not only maintain the strength, but to genuinely love her life… He had to keep her safe.
Jem had to do his best to protect her and their friendship. He needed her, not in the way that Taehrn needed Jem – not in the way an amoral and manipulative cretin like Taehrn needed those willing to do his bidding – but in the way of a person who needed the support of a friend. He had seen the fear simmering behind her eyes, but more, he had seen her strength of will in overcoming it. Jem needed to know how she did it, how she overcame her demons. And if that meant sparing the Legion, then Jem would, and he would do it happily.
“Hey, Gin, I ever tell you about the time I had that baby?”
Jem sighed. Well, almost happily.
The wheels of Trin’s cart made the soft rocking sound of wood on stone as they rolled over the setts, the sound half buried beneath the trot of hooves. The scent of fermented juniper wafted from their not so hidden still, but no one had accosted her yet. Jem had taken to riding at the head of the column with Taehrn – to convince the man of his loyalty – and that seemed to have angered, or perhaps annoyed Trin. Despite her hatred of Taehrn, she had steered her wagon to the fore and now rode at their heels. She spent most of her time yelling stories from the bench to Gin who sewed in the bed. Jem doubted it coincidental that he and Taehrn could hear everything she said. Not the flaw, but her design, Jem joked.
“No, miss, I didn’t know that you were a mother.”
“A mother? Gods no. I didn’t have a baby, I just happened to have one at the time.”
“Well, that’s a big difference, miss. How did you… er… attain this baby?”
“Your butchering right it’s a big difference. Well, that’s the story right there, isn’t it? And it’s a good one too. Let’s see… it was my first season on the road… so I must’ve been around seventeen. It was my second venture, my first
being the trip home from Rori when I ducked off my father’s ship. That whole trip I spent alone, so this next one I decided I’d try my hand with a caravan…”
“She is rather captivating, is she not?”
Jem’s gaze shot to the man beside him. Though he suspected Trin’s goal was to annoy Taehrn, a wry smile twisted the edge of the soldier’s lips. Taehrn’s eyes stared ahead, determined, but with an amused glint.
“Pardon?” Jem said, but he knew what Taehrn meant.
“Come now, boy, you and she are friends. That did not happen because you are blind to her charms.” Taehrn scoffed. “Well, unless you’re faking it.” Taehrn’s hands shifted on his saddle horn. The palfrey beneath him whickered, tossing back its head and tousling its mane. Taehrn spoke softly. “You know, I never quite realized how much I appreciated her until she came back from that first trip. She and I had fought our last fight, and the next week she set sail on one of her father’s ships. Our courtship had ended, but I remember being infuriated that she would leave without telling me… No matter what had passed between us, we were still old friends and for her to make such a rash choice… She had never made mention of such desires before. I was convinced she’d left only to spite me.”
Jem glanced back at Trin. Her face was flushed, but she seemed not to hear Taehrn’s words. He wondered what she would do if she had. To his knowledge, she and Taehrn had not so much as acknowledged one another’s presence since the day Trin and Jem had been conscripted, let alone spoken to one another.
“When the ship returned without her I realized the mistake I’d made,” Taehrn continued. “But I was too proud to admit it. I knew that I had hurt her, but I waited on the docks for her return anyway, hopeful that she might have forgiven me. When she wasn’t onboard, my stubbornness only heightened my anger.” Sighing, Taehrn closed his eyes. “I had convinced myself that our courtship wasn’t over, and that it was me alone who was doing his part to ensure its survival. For months, I blamed her for being so slack in our duties to one another… Only when she returned did I realize that our courtship was truly finished and that she wanted nothing more to do with me.”
Jem chided himself for having nothing to say. While alone he had plenty of thoughts, but in the moment, they always eluded him. Hoping it was enough, he offered Taehrn a consolatory grin. The man seemed not to notice as his words continued.
“I don’t know whether her journey simply amplified my favorite parts of her, or if her absence had stirred some need within me, but when she returned I was more smitten than ever before. Though, looking back, I am glad for how things ended. Once the courtship was over, my father entertained the idea of marriage to Trin’s sister instead. I had turned him down many times, but when Trin came back and refused me once more, I finally accepted.” Taehrn shot Jem a conspiratorial glance. “Keep this between us, but I must admit, I only accepted because Trin and Lila have always been rather competitive and I thought it might spur Trin to her senses.”
Jem frowned. “And now?”
“And now… though my motive was suspect, I realize it was the best choice. I may have loved Trin once, but she will never be Lila. There is a connection between Lila and I that Trin and I do not and have never had.”
“You are not in love with her?”
“Still?” Taehrn laughed. “No. Not anymore. She is friend and family, and I love her as those things, but not romantically.”
Jem glanced to Trin, still in the midst of her story. “Why… why tell me this?”
Taehrn shrugged. “I want us to be friends as well as allies, Jem, and her opinion of me is no secret. I suppose my reason is to assure you that I am not her enemy and that in working with me you will never work against her. Trin and I have fought in the past, but I would still be her friend if she would allow it. And she is family. I would never do anything to harm her.”
“You don’t trust me.”
“On the contrary, I have already placed my trust in you. I simply want to make it plain that I have no intention of straining what trust you have in me. I know she is your friend, Jem, and even if she were not, I would never harm her.”
Jem studied Taehrn’s face, looking for any sign of deception. He didn’t find any. As ever, the man seemed genuine. It was a wonder such a scheming bastard could seem so honest. Taehrn turned his head to meet Jem’s gaze. His eyes were patient and composed.
“What is it you want from me?” Jem asked. “I know you want to be rid of my father while still holding the South… but I feel that there is more to it than that.”
“For someone so quiet, you are rather straight-forward… I shall be also,” Taehrn shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t know yet. I know what you are. I know what you can do, and what you have done in the past, but as of now, there is nothing else I want from you. You will learn in life, Jem, that sometimes your position is dependent upon the friendships you cultivate. There are many who see that as dishonest or…”
Taehrn’s hand rolled, searching for the proper word. “…manipulative, but I have never seen it in such a way. We humans must coexist, and that coexistence often requires cooperation. I prefer that cooperation come from friendship, when possible, and I suspect, because of what and who you are, that you will be a powerful man one day. It is not such a bad thing that when that day comes, you and I will already be in a position to rely upon one another, is it?”
“I… I suppose not.”
“Exactly,” Taehrn said. “And such is my relationship to most of those I rely upon, especially Magistrate Godahn and Deacon Lissahn. We are not simply political allies, but friends who can depend upon one another. It is a noble thing, and our joint cause is made nobler by the bond we share.”
The argument seemed convincing – at the least, Jem could think of nothing that contradicted it. Was it such a bad thing for two people to rely upon one another? It didn’t seem a bad thing, but he knew that Taehrn’s motives were not so simple. It wasn’t the people Taehrn schemed with that troubled Jem – nor the way Taehrn perceived his relationship to those people – it was the way in which he schemed, the people and ideals Taehrn was willing to sacrifice in order to get what he wanted. The man had intimidated a child in order to protect his political ambitions, intimidation which had resulted in the death of a relatively innocent man, and even if Jem had not been that child, he would still despise Taehrn for it.
Jem’s eyes wandered to the horizon. The black smear of Derlin Keep dotted the road’s end. Afraid those halls would bring back dark memories, Jem wasn’t excited for their arrival. Aside from himself and Taehrn, everyone expected to reunite with the Grand and the rest of the Legion. He wasn’t certain why Taehrn had kept their departure a secret, but he felt bad about it. Surely, Trin must be excited to see Bell and Rise again, but Jem didn’t have the heart to tell her they wouldn’t be there. Nor was he quite certain he understood why they had left. Too late to tell her now, she’ll be figuring it out soon enough.
Jem let his mind listen to Trin’s words. “… and that’s how I met Bandill Rin. If I were more fond of the cold, I’d make my way down to the Horn every year to get my hands on more of her inventions. Just the pocket watches themselves would sell for a bundle back in Trel, but Gable was far enough and there’s no butchering way I’m gonna go all the way to the end of the Horn, no matter how much money I might make.”
“Uhh… miss,” Gin said. “That’s a fine story and all, but there weren’t no baby in it.”
“Baby?” Trin asked. “Oh right, that was on the way back. So, I’d bought a bunch of Bandill’s machines, and they excited me so much, I decided to travel alone on the way back. The rest of the caravan was movin’ too slow, and I wanted to show off the goods I’d found, not to mention they’d be worth more if I was the first in the caravan to come through with ‘em. Anyway, I set off on my own and I was all the way back to about two days south of Lane when the weather got bad. Wasn’t too bad, just the early autumn snows, but it was cold as shit and I didn’t want to spend
the night without some cover, so I pulled off the road into some trees. Now, there’s an altar around there, an old pavilion, like Just’s Arch in Settin, if you’ve ever been.”
“A marriage arch?” Gin asked.
“Aye, it’s like that, with the same ivy stonework and all that, except it’s a full pavilion instead of just an arch, and beneath it, it’s got a kind of altar, or more like a wash basin built into this pedestal thing. It’s real elaborate like, made outta limestone, with the stone shaped to look sorta like the vines of a thorn bush. Anyway, it must be some courtesan secret, ‘cause when I pulled off into them woods, I stumbled onto that pavilion and there was a woman there, standing over the pedestal in the center, with a baby lying in the bowl, and a knife on the rim.
“Course, I don’t know what kinda shit courtesans do in their free time, but that seemed right creepy to me, with that baby lyin’ on an altar with a knife beside him. And to make it worse, there were some damned ropes at the woman’s feet, kind of wrapped around the pedestal, but all loose and frayed as if something had been tied there and then cut loose.
“Of course, I doubt it was as sinister as it looked, but I tell you that shit wasn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before and nothing I’ve seen since. Don’t think I’ll ever forget her words.
“‘It seemed poetic,’ she says to me and she didn’t even turn to face me as she spoke, just went on talking. ‘To anoint him in the same spot as I, but I have come to realize that I cannot go through with it. He was to be my hope. A blank slate to fulfill my needs, but he is worse than blank. He is blighted. I had thought to fix it, to fix everything that I have ruined in my foolishness, else my children toil in the Call’s madness forever. “A union of fools makes a girl into a priest. A twist of chance makes her a god.” So was I made and so am I here.’
Death's Merchant: Common Among Gods - Book One Page 49