“We’re fine, but the question is, how are you? Did you get to speak with your father?” Maria’s faint Hispanic accent rounded each word, causing Sharon to smile.
“You won’t believe it. Rave is here. It’s like my biggest dream has come true.”
“Oh, Sharon.” Maria knew what this meant to her. Other than talk of work, Rave and Tuck were all Sharon spoke of.
“Rave is angry. He may never forgive me.”
“He will. He needs time,” Maria assured her. “And he needs to know that you are not the same mother who left him.”
Sharon drew a deep breath. “Is it even right to expect him to forgive me? He said he thought I’d died, and that was the best thing I could have done for them.” As long as Sharon lived, she’d never forget those words.
“Like I said, he’s angry. He has a right to his anger. Don’t try to take it from him. Just give him time to see who you are now. You knew this would be hard.”
“Yes.”
“And your father?”
Sharon smiled. “So forgiving. He’s just happy I’m alive and not using. He looks older than I’d anticipated. There was no anger, no adjustment time for him. He looked in my eyes and knew I was no longer an addict and drew me instantly into his arms.”
“Sharon, he knew you before. That’s why it was easy for your father to embrace you.” There was a pause before Maria continued. “Rave has never known anyone but addict Sharon. He’s being introduced to a stranger. Trust is not an easy thing to offer.”
She knew that. They’d discussed it many times. For the course of Rave’s whole life Sharon had been an addict. “Well, I’ve got my work cut out for me.”
“Speaking of that, shall I bump your mission trip to next year?”
Sharon could hear her thumbing through papers, probably the Peru schedule. “Not just yet. I need a few more days to know if my being here—really being here—is good for the two of them. They have a very nice dynamic. I don’t want to ruin anything. I’ve already put them at odds with each other. Plus, you’re counting on me.”
“We’re counting on you to get your new life started in the best way possible. Whether that includes Peru or not. Besides, as long as we know within two weeks, we can sub in a replacement. Tiki is ready to go at a moment’s notice.”
“Thanks, Maria. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Sharon hung up the phone and drove straight to the motel. She was exhausted. Even with her soul aching, hope filled in the hollow places in her heart. Maybe she’d see her family intact after all.
The doctor had given Tuck a thorough exam, but Rave only felt slightly more informed about Tuck’s condition than before they came. He’d expected to accompany Tuck and to come away with a complete understanding of the disease, the prognosis, the meds. That didn’t happen. Now, as the doctor shook Tuck’s hand, Rave’s panic grew. “Is there anything else we should be doing? Anything that can help his energy level?”
Tuck’s mouth dipped into a frown. “I have good days and bad days.”
Dr. Voight glanced down at the chart. “Eat right. Plenty of fluids to offset the medications. And just wait. Tuck’s on the donor list.” He shrugged. “That’s about all we can do at this stage. We’re closely monitoring the cancer. It hasn’t spread from the liver.”
“Donor list?” Rave shot a glance to Tuck.
“For a liver transplant,” Dr. Voight explained.
“Thanks, Doc.” Tuck quickly shook his hand again and headed for the door. “We’ll see ya next time.”
Rave planted his feet at the exam room door. “Stop. Tuck, what is he talking about?”
Dr. Voight, who had seemed all business up to this point, paused. It was the kind of pause that said there was much to discuss, and he wasn’t certain Rave was the one to discuss it with. His gaze hesitantly went to Tuck. “Have you not talked to your grandson about this?”
Tuck huffed. “Isn’t there some law? Hippo or something?”
Dr. Voight laughed. “HIPAA. Yes, of course. However, when you arrived today, you told me we could discuss the details of your illness openly with Rave.”
Tuck’s head dropped. “That’s ʼcause I wasn’t planning on this coming up.”
Rave was putting the pieces together. “Tuck, you’re on a liver transplant list, and you weren’t going to mention it to me? Why?”
“Didn’t want you to worry.”
Rave turned his attention to the doctor. “What would this transplant do for Tuck?”
Dr. Voight shrugged. “It’s a cure. A transplant means we remove the cancerous organ.”
“Wait, is that—” Rave took a small step toward the doctor. “Is that something I could do for him?”
The doctor’s brows quirked. “If your blood types are compatible. Close family is typically the best match for living donor transplants.”
Tuck squared his shoulders. “Now stop right there. There’s no way I’m letting them cut you open for me. Never gonna happen, boy, so get it out of your head.”
Rave ignored him and faced the doctor. “What would I have to do?”
“Blood type first, then we’ll do a fairly lengthy series of tests. If you were to pass, it’s a week’s stay in the hospital for the donor, longer for the recipient. But we’ve had tremendous success with living donors. There’s a much higher rate of success, in fact.”
Tuck’s fists dropped to his waist. “This is not going to happen.”
Again, Rave addressed Dr. Voight. “But everyone only has one liver. How does this work?”
“The liver has two sections. We remove the left lobe and use that for the recipient. The liver immediately begins to heal. Eventually it will completely regenerate.”
“So, I’m giving something that is going to grow back after?” Rave turned with exasperation toward Tuck. “How could you not tell me this, Tuck? I’ve been looking at the possibility of losing you when I had the answer all along?”
Tuck’s shoulders curled forward. “I’m an old man, Rave. I’ve lived my life. Surgery comes with risk. And I’m not willing to take that risk where you’re concerned. Your life is just getting started. Please don’t make me choose.”
“Choose what, Tuck?”
“Don’t make me choose to remove you from my life.”
All the air left Rave’s lungs. The room spun. His face heated. “You’d do that?” Tuck couldn’t be serious, but the stubborn look on his face told Rave he was. It was like a punch in the gut. Tuck was good at giving. Look at all he’d given to Rave. But he was lousy at receiving. Especially at receiving help.
The corner of Tuck’s mouth ticked. “I stood on a battlefield too many times and watched people who should live die. Those were my men. My soldiers. And though I did everything I could to protect them, I still lost them. I won’t lose you, boy. I won’t.”
“You will if you force me out of your life.” Once again, Rave felt like he was locked in an impossible situation—one that would cause him to lose everything no matter what he did.
Tuck squared his shoulders. “Like I said, don’t make me choose.”
CHAPTER 16
In silence, they left the doctor’s office. Rave wanted to be angry with Tuck, but how could he be? Tuck loved him enough to be willing to push him away just to keep him safe. Maybe Tuck wasn’t recognizing the advances in medicine. Sure, there was always risk, but the reward by far outweighed those risks. When Rave got home, he hugged Daniel a little tighter. Moments like this made him realize how hard this whole thing must be on Tuck.
Later that night, Ashley called to talk to Daniel. Rave had been a little concerned because they hadn’t heard from her in two days. Daniel’s mood deteriorated when he didn’t hear from his mom. When Daniel was finished, she asked if Rave had time to talk for a while. He said yes. “I know you, Rave. What’s going on?”
Did he want to share this with her? No. But the weight of all that had happened in the past two days was as heavy on his shoulders as a soaking wet blanket. “My mom i
s alive.”
A rush of air over the phone. “Rave, that’s great. Is she—you know, all right?”
“She’s not using. I wouldn’t let her stay with us. She’s got a room at the motel.”
“Oh geez, Rave. Not that roach motel. It should be condemned.”
He closed his eyes. “Better than her last address. She’s been in prison.”
“Good, Rave, if it got her straightened out. Is she really straightened out?”
He nodded. “Yeah, seems so. She looks healthier than I’ve ever seen her—full cheeks, no gray tone to her skin. You can’t fake those things. But that doesn’t mean I trust her. And it doesn’t mean she won’t go back to using.”
“If you believe she’s clean, get her out of that fleabag motel. In fact, I’ve got an idea.”
He closed his eyes. He knew Ashley well enough to know the change in her tone. Somehow, she could see a way to profit from this situation. “I can’t get her out of the motel, Ash. I don’t want her here. Maybe that’s wrong, but it’s how I feel.”
A long pause. “How long is she staying?”
“About a month. Tuck’s really glad to see her.” Even though he didn’t trust Ashley, she’d known his mother back when he and Ashley were friends long before she ever got pregnant with Daniel.
“Go get her, Rave. She can stay at my apartment. I was thinking maybe she can kick in on the rent while I’m away. It costs the same as the motel. I checked when Daniel and I got to town. That would really help me financially.”
“Ash, I’m not sure—”
“Just stop, OK? You’re not that guy. You don’t leave your mother in a place like that when there’s no reason. Go, Rave. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t.”
Maybe she was right. He already felt bad for the way he’d treated his mom. Even though she didn’t deserve any better. “Stupid conscience. Are you really sure this is a good idea, her staying in your place?”
“Are you afraid she’ll fall off the wagon and sell my stuff to buy some drugs? I don’t have anything that’s worth anything, so good luck to her. My important papers are in a locked box in the top of the closet. If you’re worried, grab the box and leave it at your place. But I don’t think you should. I think you should give her a chance. It’s what you’d want Daniel to do if she was me.”
He knew she was right. He’d want Daniel to give Ashley a chance—even if she blew it. Rave’s eyes drifted shut. “All right. I’ll do it, but I don’t have to like it.”
“One other thing, Rave.” There was another pause. He knew Ashley. Maybe too well.
“What is it?” His tone was flat. More surprises he didn’t need.
“It’s just that . . . well, I kind of feel like life is giving me a second chance here.”
He couldn’t explain the tension that gripped the skin around his shoulders.
“Rave, I started life so young, getting pregnant with Daniel. And he’s the light of my life, but—”
Through gritted teeth, Rave asked, “But what?”
She blew out a breath. “I just wanted to say thanks for letting me do this. I needed this. I’d forgotten what it felt like to not spend every waking moment thinking about someone else.” Before he could answer, she added, “Take care of Daniel for me.”
“He’s the very best part of my world right now.”
Ashley said good-bye and hung up. The wall clock ticked. Bullet nudged Rave’s leg. The dog had grown accustomed to long evening walks where Daniel ran off his impossible four-year-old energy and Bullet hunted for stray bunnies. Always searching, never finding.
As they were headed out the door, Becca arrived. And Rave’s heart stuttered when she stepped out of her car and ran toward him. Outside, the air was a perfect mix of summer and evening, the setting sun casting long shadows on the green grass around the house. Trees swayed with their own song, each one with a voice, each one harmonizing.
Becca threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. It was quickly that her lips met his, her body pressed to him and even more quickly that she moved away. His hands found their way around her waist, the material of her sundress still cool from the air-conditioning in her car. “What was that for?”
She grinned up at him. “Because I missed you that much.”
“You saw me three days ago.” His grip tightened around her. “And this is how much I missed you.” He pressed his mouth to hers and deepened the kiss before she could stop him. Her intake of air pulled the oxygen from his lungs, creating a desperation in his chest. Heat fanned out from the flame in his belly.
“Eeeewwww, gross.” Daniel pointed at the two of them, and Rave laughed.
Becca blushed.
“Dad, can we go now?” Daniel didn’t always call him Dad, but it was common enough that he’d stopped correcting him. Daniel and Bullet ran ahead.
Becca and Rave fell into step behind the energetic boy and the lumbering dog. She bumped Rave’s shoulder. “You all right?”
“Still not sure about the dad thing.”
“People in town assume he’s yours. Maybe that’s for the best. I mean, with Ashley gone. Little towns love gossip. I’d hate for innocent Daniel to be at the base of their nosiness.”
“Yeah.” Rave had to agree. Still, he wasn’t Daniel’s father. “Becca, we need to talk.”
She dipped her head. “Sounds bad.”
“No. No, it’s good. Amazing, really. But I need you on board with this.”
For the next half hour, he explained the procedure to her. What would be expected of him as a donor, what the recovery time would be. She had a lot of questions but gave her unwavering support . . . just like he knew she would. “When will you do it, Rave?”
“Well, I have to wait until Ashley’s back. And I have to convince Tuck. He’s so stubborn.” Rave shook his head. “But I’m going ahead with the tests. Made my appointments already.”
“Can you do that? Without Tuck’s consent?”
Rave shrugged. “Of course. I don’t need his consent to be a liver donor. I just need his consent to be his liver donor.”
Her grip tightened on his hand. “It’s a really brave thing to do, Rave.” But her grip didn’t let up, and he knew she was sensing the risks associated with the surgery.
He stopped and turned to face her. “Hey, I’ll be fine.”
She nodded but didn’t make eye contact.
He tilted her chin. “Becca, I’ll be fine.”
“I’m really proud of you for doing this. I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”
He pulled her into his arms. There, with the sun’s last rays sliding behind the mountaintop, Rave silently made three promises to Becca. He swore he’d be OK after the surgery. He swore he’d love her always, and he swore he’d never leave her with an empty chair.
From the window above, Tuck watched them. A young man, the woman he loved, and a beautiful little boy trying to keep up with the dog. His hand rubbed over his chest, its familiar ache still there, but different now. For years since Millie died, he’d looked out this window to the empty road. The empty chair. Inside, the half-empty closet. Closer yet, his empty heart.
It was being filled now. Filled with Rave and Becca. Filled with Daniel and his eternal questions and inquiries. He’d heard Tuck mumble about the cookies he was baking taking too long, and Daniel had informed him that maybe he needed some time flies. He’d asked him to explain. Daniel told him he didn’t know how they worked, but he knew that time flies when you’re having fun. Maybe he could go on the computer and order some time flies.
Tuck’s life and his heart were full with memories. And now he knew Sharon was alive and well. What a beautiful way to leave this world.
Cowardly is more like it.
He turned to the empty room. “I’d have thought you’d be ready to see me, Mills.”
Not when there’s a fighting chance for you. Look out that window. That boy still needs you, Tuck.
He knew he did. “But I miss you, Milli
e.”
I miss you, too. But you’ve got unfinished business here.
He clenched his hands. “How do I tell him? How do I tell my grandson I’d encouraged his mother to abort him? Millie, Rave talked Ashley into keeping Daniel when he wasn’t even his flesh and blood. He valued that unborn life. How could he ever forgive me for not valuing his?” But there was only silence in the room. For a long time, Tuck stared at the stack of photo albums he’d removed from the top of the closet in Millie’s sitting room. The albums that starred Rave as a baby. When he could no longer take staring at the memories from so long ago, Tuck dropped his face in his hands. He cried silent tears because he knew Rave couldn’t forgive that. Just like Rave couldn’t forgive his own mother.
You’ll find a way, Tuck Wayne. You always do.
He swiped his eyes. “I love you, Millie.”
But Millie was gone.
Becca stood at her car door with Rave pressed against her. He’d put Daniel to bed and now the two of them were alone. “This is dangerous, you know?” She’d fallen hard for Rave. Maybe too hard.
Rave leaned back to look at her. “What? The fact that it’s a gorgeous summer night, and the woman I love is perfectly wrapped in my arms?”
Was it normal to feel this good? This whole? And most of all, was it a prelude to disaster? It seemed as though whenever things were going great for Becca, some unforeseen hand slashed through her reality and dropped a giant load of yuck.
Something Like Family Page 21