Rave shook his head. “No. I mean, I’ve taken care of Daniel lots of times.”
Pastor Keith gave an affirming smile. “Let’s concentrate on what we can do.”
“There’s more.” Rave locked his fingers together as if the motion could keep him from coming apart. “I’m planning to be a liver donor for Tuck. Our appointments and hospital stay are all scheduled. It’s for four weeks from now, a week after we thought Ashley would return.”
“God bless you, Rave. That’s a very brave decision.” Keith leaned forward.
Tuck spoke up. “It’s not happening now. No way. Not with this new situation with Daniel. Rave can’t do everything. He can’t be all things to all people.”
Keith nodded, rocked back in the easy chair, and scratched his chin.
Rave stayed quiet. He was done arguing about this with Tuck.
“No. Rave can’t,” Keith said. “At least, not alone. The church can help with Daniel’s care while you two are in the hospital. Also, when you get home. We’ll arrange meals to be delivered for the first couple of weeks. But I warn you, we’ve got some top-notch cooks in our congregation. You may get fat.”
“Why would you do this?” Rave hadn’t meant to say it. He was thinking it, and before he could stop the words, they slid out of his mouth.
“The real question is, why wouldn’t we, Rave? Now, we’ll need to be delicate with the Daniel situation. I don’t want people in the congregation knowing he’s not your son. Though my flock is a loving one, it’d only take one busybody with a cell phone to make a call to social services suggesting that his mother has abandoned him. For now, we keep this between us.”
Tuck rubbed his hands over his springy hair. “This is an awful lot to ask of you, Pastor.”
Keith stood and offered Tuck his hand to shake. “Then it’s a good thing you don’t have to ask. But Rave, you need to remember, the paternity situation with Daniel is bound to come up sooner or later if Ashley doesn’t return. I’ll start doing some research for you on becoming a foster parent. Also on adoption. We need to know our potential options. This won’t be something you can run from. It’ll have to be dealt with eventually.”
Rave thanked him and nodded. He knew it would, but right now Daniel needed him. And it just wasn’t in his nature to let the little guy down.
Rave had to give props to his mother. Sharon had made a trip to the local nursery and bought an array of flowers for her and Daniel to plant in the yard. She knew how to keep him busy and engaged, and though Rave hated to admit it, she’d been a needed distraction. Daniel had been used to talking to his mother on an almost daily basis. Now, it had been days since they’d heard anything from her.
She’d called a couple of times—for no longer than a minute or two—always with a bad connection. Rave had pressed the issue of when she was coming home, but her answers were always vague. He had to accept the idea that she might not be planning to come home before school and certainly not before Daniel’s birthday.
Pastor Keith arrived the next day just as Sharon was leaving to take Tuck to the doctor. It pinched a little that Tuck wanted her, not Rave, along for the visit, but it was Tuck’s life, so he wouldn’t say anything. Tuck had, in fact, had Sharon take him to the last two doctor visits.
“You look concerned, Pastor Keith.” Rave shook his hand as he came up the steps.
The man sat down on one of the rocking chairs on the front porch. Rave took the other. The chairs were getting lots of use now, with so much to look at in the yard. Daniel would sit on Rave’s lap and stare out at the visiting butterflies and honeybees by day and the fireflies as the sun was setting. The immediate view from the front porch was the array of colorful blossoms that spread from the banisters to the towering oak trees anchoring the edge of the yard. Lush green and pops of color—red, purple, yellow—even some tiny blue flowers mingled with the mass. Beyond the flowers, a late-summer lawn continued to stay green—as if it were competing with the flowers for attention. All in all, it was a perfect place for a small child to forget the sorrow life had handed him.
“Rave, I’ve been doing some checking about what might happen if—well, if it comes to light about you and Daniel before Tuck’s surgery.”
“And?” His heart thudded against his ribs.
“There was a similar situation a few counties over. A young woman’s sister needed a transplant, and the older sister became a donor.”
Rave leaned toward him in the chair.
“The older sister was trying to get custody of a child. I don’t know all the details, but the judge ruled that because she’d put her life on the line, she wasn’t putting the child’s best interests at heart.”
“But—”
Keith shook his head. “I know. I know. It’s completely twisted. But now, there’s a precedent set. I’m afraid it could harm your case if it ever comes to that.”
“Maybe it won’t. Maybe nothing will come to light until after the surgery is all over.”
Keith nodded. “Maybe. But it’s a huge risk to take. You could lose Daniel. And not just for a short time. Forever. Having no definitive word on Ashley has bought you time, but if you choose to go through with the surgery while being the interim caregiver for Daniel, well, I’m afraid that’s something the courts couldn’t overlook.”
Rave rubbed his hands over his face, wishing all this would just disappear.
“Rave, there could be another way.”
All right, he had his attention.
“I would imagine your mother could also be a donor match for Tuck.”
Rave stopped rocking. “Keith, my mom is a recovering drug addict. There’s no way they’d let her be a donor. She spent years destroying her body—I’m sure her organs—it’s not a possibility. And even if they would let her, they’d put her on meds to counteract the pain. That’s what first got her hooked. She’s clean now for the first time in twenty years.”
Keith nodded. “I guess I’m grasping at straws.”
“You did the right thing letting me know. Let’s not share this with Tuck. He’s got enough.”
Keith stood and shook Rave’s hand. “The memorial is coming along. We’ve set almost half of the granite monuments.”
“I haven’t been out there for a week.” Rave’s time had been split between Daniel and Tuck. Mostly Daniel.
Pastor Keith paused to smell a large purple flower. “Stop by. It’d do you good.”
Rave nodded. “I’m taking Becca to the outdoor movie tonight.”
“Oh yes. The Barton Betterment Society is hosting that, right? You kids have fun. Do you have childcare for Daniel?”
“Yes. Tuck will be home, and Trini is coming over to play poker. Daniel will be asleep before we leave.”
Rave followed the pastor to his car. Keith turned. “I know things seem bleak right now, Rave. But keep the faith.”
“I’m trying. Truly. The only good news is . . . things can’t possibly get worse.”
Rave was wrong.
CHAPTER 19
It was almost dark when Rave and Becca arrived at the outdoor showing of the ’80s classic Stand by Me. The square had been draped with small, round, overhanging lights that lit up the area and gave it a warmth, despite the chill that snaked through the surrounding buildings.
Rave and Becca spread a blanket and watched the movie while eating popcorn, drinking root beer, and trying to forget all the sorrow beyond the protective bubble of the outdoor cinema. When it ended, the crowd of around a hundred people cheered as the credits rolled. Becca knew everyone there, so it took them a good thirty minutes just to make it across the square and to the truck. All the parallel parking spots had been filled, and Rave judged the space between Tuck’s truck and the cars in front and behind. There was no way he could shimmy out of the parallel spot. He shrugged. “Looks like we’ll have to stay for a while.”
Becca tipped a shoulder. “Fine with me. I’m having an amazing night.”
The blanket was over Rave’s ar
m so he tossed it in the back of the truck and pulled her to him. “We could make out in the truck.”
She giggled and swatted at him. “In the middle of town? That would certainly end up on the Internet.”
“Not if we fog up the windows quickly.” He kissed her before she could protest. Becca wound her arms around his neck. Beyond them, something was happening. Rave had spent enough time on the streets to know when the atmosphere changed. He ended the kiss and looked toward the spot where the giant projector screen was being removed.
A crowd of people was making its way toward Becca and Rave. They didn’t seem threatening, but his senses went on high alert. Rave’s gaze skated over the crowd as he looked for familiar faces. He found none.
One guy seemed to be leading the pack. Tall as Rave, but thicker, with broader shoulders, and stocky. The family resemblance was unmistakable. This had to be the sheriff’s son. And that meant he was also the brother to the guy named Glen who liked to tear up Trini’s field.
Becca stiffened and pulled away from Rave slightly. “Hi, Michael.”
He smiled, hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Becca, you look great. Kept your hair long. Glad you didn’t cut it.”
She nodded, and Rave watched the tension enter her features. “Are you in town for long?”
“Couple weeks.”
Suddenly she grabbed Rave’s hand and pulled him to her side. “This is Rave.” That was all she said, but when he glanced down at her, her smile said everything her mouth hadn’t.
It was a moment before Rave realized the guy had moved closer. Rave’s attention sharpened. But when he looked up, he found kind eyes and a hand stretched toward him. “Nice to meet you.”
Rave shook his hand.
He leaned closer to Rave. “Listen, my dad told me about Tuck. He’s a really good man. I hope everything works out.”
Rave nodded, swallowed the wad of cotton in his throat. “Thank you.”
Michael turned to Becca. “Good seeing you, Bec.”
She smiled. “You, too.”
The crowd started to walk off just as someone yelled across the lot. “Michael, come help the ladies with the popcorn table.”
He chuckled. “Not sure what I got myself into volunteering.” He jogged off. The crowd followed.
Rave pointed. “So, he’s the guy.”
Becca nodded. “Yes. I told him I didn’t want to know when he was coming. I’m as surprised as you are.”
“And he’s really Glen’s brother?”
She gave him a sidelong glance. “What do you know about Glen?”
“I know he likes to party.”
She pointed her index finger into the air. “Right. Trini’s field. The two brothers couldn’t be more different.”
Rave nodded toward Michael, who was disassembling a popcorn table with several gray-headed women instructing him. “Michael looks like his dad.”
“Acts like him, too. Glen is their polar opposite.” Becca reached down and took Rave’s hand. “We don’t always turn out like our parents.”
“And sometimes our parents change.”
Becca leaned closer. “Your mom?”
He nodded. He’d been watching her. She was becoming . . . the best version of herself.
Sharon meandered the darkened streets of her hometown until the journey ended at the marvel that was the memorial park. My son did this, she thought as she entered through the main gate. Her gaze went instantly to the center, where water cascaded over rocks, creating something both powerful and at the same time serene.
It still felt strange to be home. The place where she’d grown up. She knew these streets, every oak tree that lined the sidewalks, every street lamp that illuminated the storefronts. For the first time in a long time, Sharon sat down on a park bench and let her guard down. She’d made progress with Rave. Her heart broke over the burden her barely grown son carried. Still, there was only so much she could do. Only so much he’d allow her to do.
Tonight, at the outdoor movie, she’d watched Rave and Becca from the safety of the flowering tree. She made sure they never saw her. But she’d gotten to watch her son with the young woman he undoubtedly loved. The measure of a mother’s sorrow was in direct relation to the sadness of her child. For once, Sharon could smile while looking at Rave, instead of regretting all she’d put him through.
She’d heard someone else creak the gate open but hadn’t bothered to turn around until she noticed the crunch of footfalls coming closer. Maybe someone else was doing a little late-night soul searching. But when she turned, she knew that wasn’t the cause for this interruption.
Sharon stood from her spot on the park bench. “Marty?”
He was dressed in his sheriff’s clothes. She supposed that’s what he wore most of the time now, a badge on his chest, a gun on his hip. So different from the T-shirts and Wranglers he used to wear when they’d spend long evenings together cramming for a geometry test or a history final. She was more accustomed to seeing him in a letterman’s jacket and high-top sneakers than the attire of an officer of the law. His hair was a little thinner, but still wavy and cut now in a shorter style. He used to keep his hair long. Of course, that was the style back then. “It’s late to be out here alone, Sharon.”
She glanced around the darkened park, half of it shrouded in shadow, half of it a black-and-white snapshot of the park in the daytime, complete with flowers and plants framing each monument. “Is it unsafe?”
His gaze narrowed, but not before a smile changed his face. “Well.” Marty Cogdill made a show of placing his hand over his gun and puffing his chest. “I’d say you’re safe enough as long as I’m here.”
She placed a hand on her heart and spoke with her best Southern accent. “Why thank you, Sheriff. I suspect a little lady such as myself should be more careful.”
Marty stepped closer. “You always were safe with me, Sharon.”
She nodded but couldn’t hold his gaze. Her long hair fell forward as she searched the ground for some anchor, some rock to plant herself on. Her attention strayed to the fountain, the safe, solid fountain. “Is it too late to say I’m sorry?”
Marty sniffed. “It’s never too late.” When the silence between them thickened, Marty passed her and sat down on the park bench. “Were you at the movie tonight with Rave and Becca? I saw them before getting called to a house across town.”
“I didn’t . . . I didn’t let them know I was there.” Shame pried at her vanity, but she’d long ago learned the value of honesty over pride. “Things are still . . . rocky . . . with Rave.”
“He’ll come around.”
That was what she prayed every night. Every day. Every moment. Not so she could finally put the person she had been to rest, but so she could help him carry some of the burden. “He’s pretty stubborn. Gets it from Tuck.”
Marty threw his head back and laughed.
She peered at him from the corner of her eye. “What?”
“It’s difficult to believe that you see stubbornness in him and think it came from anyone but you.”
She laughed, too. And it felt so good and so right to be able to just let go a little bit. A lifetime ago, Marty had known her. And it was nice to drop back into that familiar comfort. With Rave, she was careful. Even with Tuck. But with Marty, it just felt like she could be herself. Her best version of herself—which, as she always told Rave, was the goal. “We’re all cut from the same cloth.”
“An unguarded strength can become your biggest weakness. Sharon, I know it’s been a long time, but I want you to know I would have helped you.”
She breathed in the honeysuckle on the air and the fragrant flowers at their feet. Even the freshly turned earth hinted of new beginnings. “I didn’t want help. I wanted to drown in the void.”
“It’s one of the reasons I went into law enforcement.”
At that admission, Sharon pivoted on the seat.
“I needed to know there were ways to help people who were addicts. If I couldn’
t help them directly, I’d work to get the dealers off the streets.”
Her heart swelled with this new knowledge. “I’m sure you’re amazing at your job.”
“Too good. Ran my wife away with my dedication.”
“You and Holly split up?”
He nodded. “Few years back. She travels with her work, so the boys grew up living with me.”
Sharon’s mind went back to high school. “Holly worshipped you. I can’t imagine her ever leaving—”
“Apparently I’m not idol material. What was once worship over years became dissatisfaction, which quickly turned into all-out disdain. It wasn’t her fault. She’d never really had my whole heart.”
Sharon tried to swallow, but there was only cotton in her throat.
Marty’s gaze was intense. “I should never have pushed you away. Maybe—”
She placed a hand flat on his leg, stopping his words. “Don’t, Marty. You did the right thing.”
“I gave you an ultimatum.”
Sharon’s tongue moistened her lips, her mouth had gone dry with the gravity of the conversation. She figured she’d eventually run into Marty, but she hadn’t expected them to dive headlong into this discussion so quickly, if at all. “And I chose the drugs. It was inevitable. One of the things I’ve learned on this journey is that you can’t live in the ‘what if’ world. There’s nothing but sorrow there. Your past has only the power you give it. Right now, I’m choosing to live in the moment, with one shoulder slanted toward the future. That’s the best we can do, I believe. Live for now and stretch for tomorrow. And in this moment, my son needs me. Even if all I get to do is color on the floor with little Daniel, that’s enough—because it’s what I’m able to give.”
“Your philosophy has changed.”
She chuckled. “It needed to. If I couldn’t do something perfectly, I wouldn’t try at all. If I couldn’t master it, I wouldn’t tackle it. Now, I’ve come to understand the beauty of rest, the awesomeness of doing something even if you aren’t able to do it well. There is just as much pride in a job done as in a job done perfectly. I let go of that perfection pressure. Pressure kills. It kills slowly, but it’s still a murderer.”
Something Like Family Page 25