by Simply BWWM
I didn’t know how much of this was true. Would Edward think I was just after his money and social ties? Would he believe me over her? He may act indifferent to his parents, but a mother’s tie was a bond hard to break. She could see the doubt rolling around inside me. I hated the satisfaction it gave her.
“I’ll give you a week. Then if you’re still around, I will make my move. Your mother will be gone and I will tell Edward your real motive for marriage.”
***
I didn’t go straight home after our little meeting. I needed time to sort things out. I drove around for a while. Then pulling over, bawled my eyes out. I wasn’t normally a big cryer, but hormones plus evil mother-in-law will do that to you.
Was I going to be able to choose between my mother and my future family? Would Edward believe me, or side with his own mother? We hadn’t been together that long. The situation was precarious enough, maybe it would just take a little bit of reasonable doubt for him to side with her. What would this mean for the baby?
I didn’t care what she said. I was just going to have to trust Edward and tell him what she had found out. It was two things I had never done before. Any time a situation like this arose between us, I was always the one sent running without a word. I thought I had been being a strong woman, not giving him the chance to lie to me.
Now I knew that a strong woman faced whatever challenges together with her companion. I had to trust in him that he had meant all those things he had said to me. That he did care about me and our baby. That this would matter more than any baggage I might bring to the relationship.
As soon as I walked in the door, Edward could tell something was wrong. The swollen puffy eyes was probably a good tip off. He came immediately to my side worry etched on his face.
“What happened? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
I took a deep breath. “We need to talk.”
This didn’t lessen his worry any. We made our way over and sat down on the couch. I told him about the baby shower, who I had really gone to see today, and all of her threats. Even her goal of reasonable doubt. Maybe if I said it first, he would believe me instead. I liked to think her downfall was that she showed all her cards. I was going to use it as best as I could.
Edward sat silently and listened. When I was done, he ran his hand through his blond locks and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He digested it all for a moment.
“Is it true? About your mother I mean?”
“I honestly don’t know. She has never said anything to me about it.”
“And once my mother finds out that you told me…”
“She will have my mother deported.”
“And you told me anyway?”
I shrugged, but mostly in hopeless surrender. “I was hoping we could figure it out. You know, together.” I couldn’t look in his eyes. No matter how much he told me he had wanted to be with me, the fact of the matter was we were here because of the baby. He was experiencing all of this turmoil with his family and now my own family’s baggage. Really, it wasn’t like he had signed up for any of this.
He put a hand on each side of my face and lifted my eyes to his. He held pure sincerity and love for me. “We’ll figure this out together, okay? I know some people who can help her get citizenship and make it so she won’t be deported in the meantime.”
Tears glistened in my eyes again. “You would do that for me? I have nothing to offer you in return.”
He smiled and kissed me softly, “You, all I have ever wanted was you.”
“Then I am all yours,” I said with a smile
He wiped a stray tear. Grabbing my hand, he got up and pulled me up too. “Where are we going now?” I asked.
“To the bedroom. I’m taking you up on that offer.”
Chapter 9
“Let me take care of you.” It was a soft whisper in my ear. It was a hard thing for me to do. I had spent my whole life forcing my way to get where I was. I wasn’t used to letting anyone help me, let alone take care of me. It would bring him pleasure and that was enough for me, though. He stood back waiting for my answer. I lifted my arms up, to let him take my shirt off in response.
He smiled and slowly pulled my shirt over my head. My belly was getting so big now that I wasn’t able to button my pants. He looked down at it and smiled.
“This makes things a little easier.” He got down on his knees in front of me. He slowly pulled my pants down and helped me step out of them.
First he kissed my belly. I ran my fingers through his hair. If I had never known it before, I knew it now, I loved this man. He looked up at me with a wicked grin then leaned back down to kiss and nuzzle me between my thighs. I arched my head back and moaned in satisfaction.
He stood up, letting his hands trail up my body. He slipped my bra straps off and effortlessly unsnapped the back, letting it fall to the floor. He stood back for a minute, taking in the whole of my cinnamon body.
“Oh, baby I am going to worship you till you scream my name.” I could see the wicked passion burning in his eyes. It filled me with fire of my own. He pushed me back onto the bed. Standing back up, I got a show of my own as he undressed himself. First, his shirt, then his pants and boxer briefs. My mouth watered at the sight of him. I wanted to take him between my lips, but it was his show today. I was going to let him do whatever he wanted to with my body.
He crawled between my legs and brought his mouth down hard on mine. It was like a bolt of electricity shooting through me. His hand reached up to twist one of my nipples. My back arched and my nipples perked up in response. I pushed my hips up against him. He was hard and ready. I wanted him inside me.
He sat up a little and smiled at me, “Not yet.”
He bent his head down and began to suck on my other nipple all the while twisting and playing with the first. I was getting wet already. I arched my hips again. He was perfectly between my lips but not inside me like I wanted. He rubbed up once on me and I moaned. It was slick and wet from my pleasure. He rubbed again and again all the while twisting and nibbling on my nipples.
I could feel that familiar rise inside of me. I was going to cum just from him rubbing on me. Just as I was about to go, he pulled back from me. I moaned in frustration. He gave a little chuckle to this.
He rotated me to my side, then flipped around so that his head was at my thighs. He kissed my belly gently again before spreading my legs and taking me with his mouth. It was an unimaginably euphoric sensation. I could feel his hair tickling that sensitive skin of my inner thighs while his tongue did its magic. I was already wet and ready for him. It wouldn’t be long till I exploded.
I grabbed his hard member still slick from rubbing on me. I felt his hand squeeze on my thigh in anticipation. First I gently blew cold air on the tip while I stroked it up and down. I heard him give a moan of his own and sink deeper between my thighs. A small bead of cum appeared on his tip. I leaned in and licked it up, savoring the taste of him. After that, I took him wholly in my mouth. The sensation of him at my thighs and plunging him deep in my mouth was almost more than I could bear. I could feel him swelling bigger and bigger in anticipation. I moaned against him and vibration made him moan in return.
It was amazing to worship each other, to pleasure each other, at the same time. I never wanted to stop, or wanted him to stop. He was too much of a sex-pertise, though. It wouldn’t be long before I gave into his tongue. I came all at once.
It was a wild, mind-blowing orgasm. He nibbled on my thigh as I finished my orgasm, all the while I was pushing him harder and deeper into my mouth. With one last thrust of his hip he reached the depths of my throat and came with my name on his lips. I swallowed him down quickly. I would never get used to the taste of him. It drove me wild and made me want more.
He came back around, kissing me. I tasted me in his mouth, and he tasted him in mine. He may have had his release but he wasn’t done with me. He kissed me hard and passionately, making his way down to my breasts again. They were sensitiv
e to his touch, having not fully come down from my last orgasm.
He worshiped my body all over again. Soon, I felt him hard again and ready for another go. I arched my hips to him in response. He smiled at me. “This time, I’m not going to waste it on foreplay.”
He sank down slowly inside of me. We both gave a sigh of pure satisfaction. He began rocking inside me, first slowly, then with more determination. I could feel the rise in me again. I was almost positive that if someone could die from having too many orgasms, it was going to be me right then.
He pushed my legs apart giving him deeper access to me. I could feel him getting thicker again, ready to spill his seed inside me. The thought of it was more than I could bear and I came all over again. He thrusted a few more times before joining me.
He relaxed on top of me, still inside. We were both hot, sweaty, panting messes. I ran my fingers up and down his back. Finally he rolled over to his side giving me a shy smile.
“I think you are going to be the death of me, Vay.”
“Not if you kill me first.”
He smiled a wicked grin. “Challenge accepted.”
*
I woke with a strange feeling. I was staring up at the dark ceiling. I could hear Edward’s steady breathing next to me. I couldn’t figure out what had woke me. I didn’t think it was a loud noise. As I adjusted myself back to a comfortable position, I realized I was sitting in a puddle of something. My first thought was that I peed the bed in my sleep or something. I pulled back the blankets. Even in the dark I could tell what it was.
Blood. A lot of it too. I was practically sitting in a puddle that reached down to my knees. It was terrifying in itself. Then came the pain. Not so much a sharp pain, just overwhelming pressure. Like my period on steroids.
“Edward! Edward wake up. Something’s wrong!”
***
We came home two days later. Neither one of us saying much. Our emotional strain had been too much for words now.
We arrived to the ER and were quickly ushered back to see the on-call OB doctor. It was quickly determined that I was losing the baby. I didn’t believe him at first. I was twenty-two weeks pregnant. I wasn’t supposed to worry about miscarriages this late. The ultra sound confirmed it, though. There was no heartbeat. Nature would take its course.
It had taken a few hours for the whole process, but I guess that was relatively fast. I never knew this would be how a miscarriage was done. I gave birth to my son. He was so small. They wrapped him up and took him away quietly. It was all so quiet. There was that fleeting second of hope that I would hear him cry. It never came.
They asked me if I wanted to hold him. I didn’t think I could, but then Edward did. I had never seen him emotional before, let alone break down and cry like he did. He held our son so delicately and covered his face. Though I knew it was an irrational thought, I felt like I had caused that pain; that I had failed somehow.
He handed me the baby without words. I hadn’t wanted it, but I was glad he did. I held my baby boy. I touched his little fingers and toes. He was so small and so perfect at the same time. I held him to my chest, willing him back inside of me. I never thought I could love someone so much. To know I would never get to have him was more than I could stand.
I spent the next twenty-four hours being monitored. They said due to his age of gestation, he didn’t count as a stillborn. There would be no birth certificate. We could decide on our own if we wanted an autopsy, since there were no obvious signs of problems, how we wanted him buried, and if we wanted to give him a name. We hadn’t even decided on a name yet. How could we now pick a name for our child that would never be?
I was startled back to reality by the ring of the phone. Edward walked into the kitchen to answer it. I heard bits and pieces, enough to know it was the doctor and that I didn’t want to hear more. He hung up and re-entered the living room where I still stood.
“That was the doctor.”
“I know.”
“He said they have the results of the autopsy.”
“I don’t want to know. I couldn’t bear to know if…” My eyes were filling with tears. How could I possibly have any more left?
Edward grabbed my hands and led me to sit on the couch. My body was in zombie mode. You could have walked me off a cliff and I would have gone without a fight.
“You couldn’t bear to know what?” I turned my head away from him. “Please. Please tell me.”
“If I had done something wrong. If it was something I did.”
Edward wrapped me in his embrace. I broke down again. I couldn’t even count how many times this had happened in the last two days. He was rubbing my back and cooing softly in my ears. He was patient as ever, waiting for my pain to subside.
He smoothed back my hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” It was like a weight I didn’t know was crushing my chest was lifted off of me. “He said that the baby had a genetic heart defect. It is very rare. He said he doesn’t think it is likely to happen ever again. But he still recommended a genetic specialist for us to see. He said normally babies with genetic problems don’t last past the first trimester.”
“So I’m supposed to feel better because it might be my genes or your genes that are broken?”
“Not broken. He said most likely there is nothing wrong with either of us. It’s just sometimes things don’t match up right.”
“Things don’t match up right,” I repeated cynically.
“Look, we don’t have to talk about this right now. The doctor also wanted to remind you that you need to take it easy for the next week or two. I already called Dad and he said to take as much time as you need before coming back to work.”
“Ugh, parents. I’m sure your mom was just jumping with joy when she heard the news.”
Edward flinched at this. “I know she wasn’t happy about the baby. I can’t imagine her being that heartless at a time like this.”
“How am I going to tell my mother? I don’t think I will be able to do it, to say it. I haven’t even talked to her yet about this whole illegal crap and now this?”
“I already told her, about the baby, anyway. I figured we could wait on the other thing for a while. I can’t believe my mother would make good on her threat now.”
“I doubt she will either,” I said tartly, “now that there is no baby, there would be no reason to.”
“I know we’re together because of him, but you know there is more to us than just that.”
“Why, Edward? Why go through all this drama with your parents and my mother? There’s no reason to. Why make life harder on the both of us?”
“Let’s not talk about it right now okay?” he said cooingly. “Why don’t you go lay down and I’ll make us some lunch. We will just get through one day at a time, okay?”
He was right, I was too emotionally drained to be thinking at all, let alone about our relationship status now that the one thing holding us together was gone. I nodded and made my way to the bedroom.
I stopped at the guest bedroom on the way. It still had its sign, “Don’t open till Christmas.” It was like a knife cutting in my heart. I walked passed it vowing never to go in that room.
*
The drain on my body and emotions had taken a greater toll then I had realized. I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. I’m not sure how long I slept, but it must have been several hours. I woke to find that Edward had even changed me into some pajamas. The light through the window was dimming. I had slept almost the entire day.
I sat up for a moment and took advantage of a second of fresh clarity. I wasn’t ready to think about the baby and the loss, but I took the time to reassess my feelings for Edward and what I thought his feelings for me were.
Though it wasn’t the right situation, he had been just as excited, if not more, for this baby. He had certainly mourned in sincerity. He had been loving and attentive to my suffering through it all too. I felt a pang of guilt. Perhaps I had been so wrapped up in my loss, I didn’t
think of how it was a loss for him too.
And then there was us. Was there even an us? I was so confused on this front. Even if we both decided that our feelings for each other were stronger than just the baby that tied us together, was it really worth it? It would be a long hard struggle with his family, and now this secret with my mother.
All of it could be fixed if we just ended it. Vivian would get my mother her citizenship. There would no longer be this hostility between me and his family -- well okay, his mother. He was trying to put his best face on through it all, but I could tell he didn’t enjoy having to be between us. Was there really a need for us to fight through all of that now that the baby was gone?
I guess what it really boiled down to was deciding what my feelings were for Edward. Did I love him? I realized that neither of us had actually spoken the words to each other. It’s funny, since we are nearly married. Though things have been spoken between us, neither of us had said those particular three little words yet.
This seemed like a defining moment for me. If I did love him, then it would be worth it to fight through our family issues. That’s assuming he loved me back. Maybe all those things he had said before was just making the best of what he was given. He hadn’t said the words either, didn’t that mean something? Or did it mean nothing at all? I guess I could wrack my brain trying to decide what his thoughts and feelings were, but before I could even do that, I needed to decide my own.
After wandering the house a bit, I found him in his office. He was reading over some documents. He smiled when he saw me.
“Well good morning.”
“I can’t believe I slept so long. Why didn’t you wake me?” I tried to smooth my hair down. I guess I should have looked in the mirror before searching for him. Who knows how I looked right now?