The emptiness seemed to consume her. Her dreams of a family only seemed more poignant as reality began to blur the lines of those dreams. That she was falling in love with T.J. was beyond denial, even to herself. She had come to that conclusion over pizza that evening as he relayed amusing stories of childhood antics, of successful pranks and those gone bad, of a Priest Lake community that bonded in harsh times. He spoke of his concern for the neighboring families as their income all but evaporated when the timber mills shut down. He spoke of his commitment to Maime and Papa Doogin, to be there for them in their latter years.
When he had relayed to her the hard luck story of the young child he had competed with earlier that day, the compassion in his eyes told Erika what lay at the center of his soul.
What if ... Erika contemplated. Could she give up everything to live with Tim here at the lake? Could she give up Capitol, could she give up her social life ... could she leave her Uncle Lawrence? Inhaling a shuddered breath, Erika turned once again to the other side of the bed. Perhaps, she thought, T.J. wouldn’t even want her after learning about her deceit … the truth about her identity. That thought brought a flood of painful, frustrated tears.
Furiously brushing the tears from her wet checks, Erika found that sleep was finally claiming her. It would all have to wait, she told herself with a wide yawn. Tomorrow was a big day, full of promise and anticipation. And if previous days spent with T.J. were any example, she would be so busy there wouldn’t be time to dwell on her immediate difficulties.
Chapter Ten
The air was frosty that next morning. In a couple of hours, the sun would creep up the Selkirk Mountain range, its rays finally reaching the lake with its tendrils of pink warmth. Its brilliance would soon kiss the top of Chimney Rock high above the eastern shore of the lake. The monument that stands guard over the lake’s inhabitants.
It would be a beautiful day. Perfect, in fact if T.J. had anything to do with it. Arriving at the guest cottage he quietly let himself in with the key that still sat under the mat that Erika had inadvertently forgotten to hide. As he did so, images of their first encounters crossed his mind. A tender smile formed as he remembered her attempt at bravado.
Quietly, he shut the curtained door, thankful that he had repaired the terrible squeak. He paused in the front room, listening for any signs of life coming from the back of the cottage. Chuckling softly, T.J. wondered how he had known she would sleep in. Carefully stepping into the dark kitchen, he quietly opened the refrigerator door to find the coffee. Then just as carefully made a steaming pot of a French roast blend. Taking care to minimize the sound coming from the squeaky floor boards, he gingerly made his way down to the bedroom he was certain Marie occupied.
T.J. let his eyes roam over the beautiful sleeping form that so captured his imagination. She was beautiful T.J. thought. The image of her tumbled hair lying angelically over the feather pillow was an image he had often dreamed while lying awake at nights contemplating this raven hared temptress. So child-like T.J. thought as he gazed down at her serene expression.
Gently, he sat on the chair next to her bed. His heart began to beat rhythmically just gazing at her outstretched hand, delicately curled around the silver locket she always wore.
Had he finally met the woman of his dreams? Could it ever work? Before his mind could logically answer, his heart knew the choice had already been made. He also knew that there could not be any lasting relationship until some of their secrets were uncovered. Without truth, there was no foundation.
The weight of his guilt was heavy as he gazed at her unguarded expression. How he wished for the day when there would be nothing but the truth between them. He had spoken much of his childhood, but only those days spent at the lake. Little did she know about his real life as heir to one of the world’s largest fortunes and member of the very elite society of old money.
Ever so gently T.J. caressed Marie’s delicately soft honey-glazed cheek. Through the dim light from the hallway, he could see her red rimmed eyes, knew from his experience with his three sisters that she had been crying. Sadness and concern etched the tiny lines around his eyes. If only he could help her. If only he knew how. Her cheek was frozen. The caress elicited a confused murmur from her perfectly formed lips. Her head rolled from one side to the other, mussing her long strands of hair. He wondered if she was sick, catching something from the unaccustomed exposure to cold weather. Quickly he lifted the heavy assortment of quilts piled high on top of her bed to see if the rest of her body was as cold. Locating her hand tucked under her neck, T.J. relaxed as he inhaled the sweet warmth.
“Sweetheart,” he breathed very near her ear. “Wake up.”
Consciousness slowly slipped over Erika as she heard his far-off familiar voice. Insistently, she heard him calling a name ... a name she couldn’t remember. Marie .... Marie. Oh, yes, she thought, that’s my name ... Marie. Did he also say ‘sweetheart,’ she mused? Gently rolling away from the insistent voice Erika wondered why her dream seemed so real.
T.J. was softly rubbing her outstretched arm when Erika came fully awake.
“What are you doing,” she cried, alarmed, but ... pleased. Trying to see her watch still strapped to her wrist she rolled to a sitting position. “It’s the middle of the night,” she continued somewhat confused. “Is something wrong?”
“Actually, it’s five, darling, and the boat leaves in one hour. I came to have breakfast with my fishing partner only to find a sleeping beauty in her place.”
‘Darling’ Erika repeated to herself. Did he really just call me ‘darling?’ Not trusting her sleep drugged state of mind, she casually ran slender fingers through her tousled hair. Her eyes itched from the previous night’s tears and her breathing seemed labored. As she rubbed sleep from her eyes, she realized how terrible she must look. “You can’t see me like this,” she said covering her face with her hands.
“Here,” T.J. continued. “I brought you a cup of coffee. This ought to warm you up. I didn’t realize how cold this room gets. I was concerned when I felt how cold your cheek was so I felt your hand under the quilt but it was toasty warm ...”
“You lifted my covers,” Erika demanded. Then calming when she glanced down at her pink plaid flannel nightgown that modestly covered her neck to the tips of her toes. “Well,” she said somewhat appeased, “you couldn’t have seen much anyway, if you were interested,” she said with a slight shrug.
“Marie, I’m always interested,” he replied with a wicked grin. “But I was honorable in my concern, at least intentionally,” he ended with a wry smile. “But I wouldn’t have minded.”
“Shoo,” she returned with a wide yawn. “If you want me up and coherent you better move and let me get dressed,” she said in good humor, now fully awake and anticipating the day spent entirely in his company.
“Absolutely,” T.J. responded moving quickly to the door. “How does eggs and bacon sound this morning?”
“Terrible! You are going to make me extremely fat,” she bellowed.
“You will thank me after a long day on that boat,” he called from the front room. “Maime always sends goodies but I doubt there will be much left for you. Anyway ... hurry up slow poke, we can’t be late! I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to hear Papa and Harry grumble all day.”
Erika smiled to herself as she tossed back the comforter and quilts. Energy oozed through her veins as she contemplated their day. The gentleness he displayed this morning was glorious. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath while holding onto the edge of the antique dressing table. She must be careful. T.J.’s presence was overwhelming her good intentions.
Concerns of the previous night rushed over her threatening her happy mood. Not today, she sternly warned herself. There will be plenty of time to regret this later, back in Los Angeles when I resume the life of Erika Crawford.
An hour later with stomachs filled, T.J. and Erika happily made their way down to the dock to meet a decidedly grumpy Harry Cunnin
gham and a prickly Papa.
“You’re late,” boomed the usually soft-spoken Harry. “I thought we would leave at six o’clock sharp. That was over an hour ago!”
“Harry,” T.J. responded firmly, “it is six o’clock. Daylight savings was last weekend ... did you forget to change your watch?”
“That’s what I’ve been tellin’ him,” Papa said exasperated. “He woke me up at four o’clock, the ol’ codger. He wouldn’t hear of his bein’ wrong.”
“Now look, gentlemen,” T.J. commanded. “I’m not going to spend the day with a bunch of old cranky men. We’ve got a lady present today. Now, shape up and let’s have some fun.”
“Aahh,” Harry spewed. “Dadblasted,” he cursed throwing his hat adorned with every imaginable hand-tied fishing fly known to mankind. “Very sorry, Miss,” he grumbled. “Just hate to be one-upped by this young tadpole. I, of course, knew it was daylight savings last weekend, but I forgot to change my fishing watch. It’s good luck, you know,” he said proudly tapping the face of his plastic fish head watch.
A wide-eyed Erika stared at the spectacle before her. That the two old men took fishing very, very seriously was evident. Especially Derby Day. She wondered at the wisdom of her accompanying them. Perhaps she should stay behind and help Maime today. Erika didn’t want to upset their plans with her novice attempts.
Voicing her concern, the men turned dumbfounded expressions at Erika. Then Harry, who she had previously considered meek and kind spoke for the trio.
“No, you don’t,” he said waving a gnarled finger at her. “You are coming with us whether you like it or not. You’re our good luck charm. You are going to help us catch Bob. He has been eluding us for forty years and today, we are going to catch him,” he expounded. “It’s like the virgins who accompanied ships of old ... they were good luck for a safe passage. You don’t happen to be a virgin now do you missy?”
“Harry,” T.J. snapped. Quickly jumping out of the large fishing boat he planted his large booted feet just inches from Harry’s. “You will never speak to her like that again. Do you understand me,” he commanded?
And at Harry’s affirmative nod, T.J. respectfully but firmly continued. “I told you last fall that you were spending too much time in the woods. That you were losing your sense of reality. I’ve never heard you speak to a lady that way and I want you to first apologize and secondly promise that you will behave for the rest of the day. Is that understood.”
Meekly, Harry slumped his shoulders and stared at the dock. T.J. quietly waited for his response. A ripple in the water gently swayed the wooden structure, the stout rope creaked and whined. Erika’s face began to burn with embarrassment as the silence stretched for many seconds. Finally, Harry’s eyes shifted upwards to implore hers.
“Tim’s right. I’m terribly sorry. I just get so excited! We just have to get a head start before all those ... visitors ...come and chop up the lake and scare the fish away. This is going to be my year. I just feel it in my bones! You see, Marie, we have a plan ...” and Harry went on to charmingly describe their fishing trip from location to lures to the probable water depth and where the biggest fish were hiding.
Both men had loaded their gear on the large fishing boat decked out with the latest fishing technology. T.J. took the moment to quietly usher Erika toward the back of the boat.
“Bob?” Erika softly questioned.
“Yes ... Bob,” T.J. whispered. “Every year ... it’s Bob. No one knows how he received that name - or if he even exists. But to Harry, he is a very coveted .... friend. Listen, Marie. I’m really sorry about what happened ...”
“Tim, don’t worry about it. Believe me, I can handle those two,” she emphasized. “I just don’t want to ruin this for them.”
“No,” he returned shaking his head. “The whole problem is that they are very excited about your coming along. They get to tell all their stories over again to a brand-new audience.”
“In that case,” she smiled winningly. “let’s move.”
“Gentlemen,” T.J. called from his position near the steering wheel. “The boat is ready; do we have the secret lures?” he questioned.
After an affirmation, he continued. “We’ve got our four-man team, Maime’s delicacies and our good luck charm. Let’s go register and catch some fish,” T.J. finished with a smile that went straight to Erika’s heart.
Derby regulations specified a four-man team. It also stated that each four-person team could choose only one fish caught on Derby Day to bring to the Weigh Master. All other trout must be released. The official weighing would begin at noon and continue until five o’clock. Then at seven that evening, the community would feast on a fish fry at Elkins Resort on the Northwest side of the lake followed by country dancing with a favorite local band. The winner of the Derby would be awarded sixty percent of registration fees in an annual Priest Lake ceremony held that night.
In no time at all, Erika and her three companions reached their favorite spot on the north end of Three Mile Island. Instantly, everything became very serious. Each man had a duty that was performed with adeptness and precision. Poles were snapped into place, lures tied, downriggers were set bending the poles to the right angle, drawing the line hundreds of feet into the darkest part of water. Minutes later, the trolling began. Tiny black dots began to emerge on a graph like computer scale located near the steering wheel.
“What is that?” Erika questioned.
“It’s a fish finder,” Harry quickly explained. “There. Look Ben, it looks like a school!”
“You mean those little black dots are fish?” Erika questioned with intrigue. None of the men who were intently watching the screen commented on her latest observation.
“This is going to be so much fun,” she said to a deaf audience. And finally, just to tease she added, “What does it mean when the pole moves?”
Instantly three blank faces were directed at her. “Just teasing,” she innocently replied.
“Let’s slow it down here, Tim. Lot’s of activity down there,” Harry advised.
“I agree,” T.J. began. “Marie and I will take the poles in the back. Papa, why don’t you drive and Harry, you take the poles out front.”
Each nodded and went quickly to their respective places.
“Now, Marie. This is very different from the jigging method we have used before. Remember when we tied those orange lures on the end of the line and gently let it hit bottom, only to bring it back up?”
At her nod, he continued. “This time the downriggers have drawn the line down to the bottom of the lake, the biggest fish are on the bottom, and when a Mackinaw hits, the pole will snap upward. We have to grab it and reel in the line as quickly as possible or we will lose the fish. Does this make sense?” he asked very seriously.
“Yes, but you are not going anywhere Tim. I’m not going to do this alone if we get a hit,” she smiled endearingly.
The morning air was ice cold. Erika shivered beneath her parka and cashmere sweater as they slowly traversed the deep waters. The sun was just beginning to rise, the sky was turning a dull pink. As she glanced up at Chimney Rock, she hoped the sun would bring some warmth. On past fishing trips with T.J. it hadn’t been necessary to leave so early. Erika never suspected she could feel so cold. Shivering, she snuggled down inside her parka and pulled the lining up around her ears. Sensitive to her every move, T.J. immediately retrieved the coffee thermos and poured a cup of steaming liquid.
“Here, this should help. It’s part of the fun, you know,” T.J. winked.
“Thank you,” she responded gratefully.
T.J. stretched his long, well honed legs on the bench at the back of the fishing boat, effectively eliminating Erika’s seat. Folding his arms behind his head he inhaled the refreshing morning air.
“Why don’t you come and sit next to me?” he asked casually. “It would be much warmer.”
“Because,” she said in a teasing tone. “You seem to have taken up the entire bench.”
“Here,” he offered, dropping one leg to the floor of the boat.
Erika starred at him, her mouth going dry. She just couldn’t sit there with him ... like that. It was just too intimate. It would open the door for more. And she couldn’t .... just couldn’t go down that road again. It would be too easy.
T.J. sensed her unease. Though he was disappointed, he understood. He had wanted more than she was ready for. Swinging his other leg to the floor, he slid to the middle of the bench, making a tiny place all her own, congratulating himself on his restraint.
“Marie, there isn’t any place like this in the whole world,” he said while she gratefully squeezed into place next to T.J. “I have traveled all over the world and truly, there isn’t any beauty that can rival this right here.”
For a while, each entertained their own thoughts. Experienced the peace of the morning. Erika, now comfortable with her seating arrangement, snuggled closer as a chilling wind kicked up. He responded by encircling her shoulders with his muscled arm, sending instant heat coursing through Erika’s body and soul.
And there they sat for the better part of an hour. Nothing could interrupt the calmness all felt on the boat that morning. Each gazed at the beautiful mountains just waking from a long cold slumber and the sound of the water lapping against the hull of the boat. Erika gently and comfortably placed her head on T.J.’s shoulder as they continued to glide toward an unknown bay.
“What parts of the world have you visited?” Erika questioned cautiously, now wanting to pick up bits of their early morning conversation.
T.J. seemed to consider her question for some time. The battle raged within him to throw the pretense away and be honest. She felt so right leaning up against him. It was as if her body fit perfectly into his. Like the divine had dropped her out of the sky and right into his world.
Why, he questioned himself, can’t I just tell her the truth? Subconsciously he pulled her closer. Something made him hold back. Something indescribable, a feeling that it wasn’t quite time. He glanced at her eyes, eyes that were intently gauging his reaction. That she wanted to know more about him was evident. He decided to give her part of the truth. The rest would have to wait.
Whispers of the Heart Page 16