by Edie Claire
“Wow,” she said with surprise. She was not sure what she had to expected to see. She was hoping it was not just an ordinary cat shelter with a bunch of outdoor cages like a zoo. She was also hoping it was not just another colony of feral cats that were supposed to be living under controlled conditions but were in fact suffering from ill health while still managing both to multiply and devastate the local ecosystem.
What she saw was an actual refuge, an outdoor space that was physically bounded and enclosed with fencing on its borders, but whose interior was still vast, airy, and open. In its center was a grove of shade trees, surrounded by a sprawling array of variously shaped wooden shelters, feeding stations, perches, climbing obstacles, grassy lawn, and dense brush. There was not a “cage” in sight. Furthermore, from where Maddie sat, she saw very few cats.
“It’s cool, isn’t it?” Gloria agreed. “I volunteered out here all last summer. Me and my friend Ellery would come out and help with—” Her eyes fixed on something that caused her brow to crease and a small, disgusted sigh to escape her lips.
Maddie followed her gaze to see a very tall, lanky man step out of the green-painted clapboard building next to the gate.
“You go on,” Gloria finished, slouching in her seat again. “I’ll stay in the truck.”
Maddie took another look. The man seemed familiar. “It’s Kenny!” she cried.
“Yeah,” Gloria confirmed without enthusiasm. “He works here.”
Maddie jumped out of the truck. She watched as the expression on the man’s face changed from friendly anticipation to confusion to male appreciation. She supposed she could understand the progression. Kenny Nakama would certainly recognize the truck. He probably expected to see Gloria or someone else he knew. He was definitely not expecting Maddie.
“Aloha,” he said uncertainly, smiling at her politely. “Welcome to the Palawai Feline Refuge. Is this your first visit?”
Maddie’s heart sank a little. Her erstwhile classmate and somehow-or-other cousin of Kai and Gloria obviously didn’t recognize her. But that was okay. She really should stop expecting otherwise.
“Yes, it is,” she replied, trying to catch his eyes. More often than not, she and Kai had hung out alone. But when she was allowed to tag along on group adventures, like one of the many daytrips up into the mountains she had enjoyed so much, Kenny was always one of the half-dozen in the crowd. One of the few kids her age who was taller than she was, Kenny had always been an awkward child, skinny as a stick and poorly coordinated. He had very light brown skin, a thick mop of bushy black hair, and large dark eyes that never missed a thing going on around him. He wasn’t the brightest of the bunch academically and had always lacked ambition, but he was good-hearted and funny and easy to be around, and Maddie had always liked him.
“Well, come on in and have a look around,” Kenny said formally as he moved to open the front gate. He gave her a rehearsed spiel explaining the mission of the refuge and its importance to preserving the birds and other wildlife of the island as well as the welfare of the cats, then let her into the double-gated entrance area and asked her to sign the guestbook. He also tripped twice while walking backwards, fumbled with the lock, forgot the word for “pen,” and knocked over a display of brochures.
Maddie sighed to herself as she followed him into the main part of the refuge. She had made a point of printing her name legibly in the guestbook, but he hadn’t even glanced at it. No sooner did he step into the enclosure than three wonderfully healthy-looking cats circled his feet and another practically jumped into his arms. Two more came up to investigate Maddie, one particularly bold orange tabby giving her only the briefest of sniffs before rubbing up against her shin. “I thought these cats were supposed to be feral!” she exclaimed.
Kenny gave her a goofy smile. “They were at one time or other. But we socialize any who are willing, and some eat it up. Isn’t that right, Jazz?” He caressed the black cat in his arms behind the ears, making the gray tabby at his feet whine with jealousy. “We adopt out as many as we can. The wilder ones live out their lives here. But they’re all spayed or neutered and seen by a vet regularly.”
Maddie walked away a bit, investigating. Everywhere she looked, now that she was looking more closely, she saw cats. Cats sleeping, nibbling, wandering, lounging. The natural landscape of tall grass and bushes as well as the man-made shelters seemed to provide a near infinite amount of hidey-holes and lookouts. “How many cats are in here?” she asked incredulously.
“Almost three hundred,” Kenny answered.
Maddie was amazed. “Don’t they fight?”
Kenny shrugged. “Nah. They’ve got enough room to keep to themselves if they want. That grassy field over there is like a maze. They make their own nests, multi-layered even, like condos!”
“Wow,” Maddie remarked. A breeze kicked up and the tall grass fluttered, along with the leaves on the shade trees. The sun was shining, clouds were few, and the weather was typical Lana'i — pleasantly warm but not too hot. She couldn’t smell a thing except red dirt and countryside, and with the exception of the brown tabby who was currently mewing at her ankles to be petted, there was nothing to hear but the peaceful hum of the wind. These cats didn’t look like prisoners. They looked like friggin’ tourists.
“So, how long are you visiting for?” Kenny asked, his tone of voice changing again.
Maddie noted the hopeful glimmer in his eyes and felt another pang of disappointment. He’d been nervous around her, then gotten more comfortable. Now he was going to try his luck. And still, not a hint of recognition.
“Why?” she asked casually, scooping up the tabby. “Were you planning on pulling my hair again, Kenny? Mrs. Eda frowns on that sort of thing, you know.”
Kenny’s eyes widened. He stared at her for several long, painfully awkward seconds. Then he swore. “Maddie?”
She smiled broadly. “Yeah. About time.”
He swore again, smiling back. “Aw, man. You look different, you know? It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, well. I’m back now.” Maddie placed the cat on a nearby perch. She turned around to find Kenny still staring at her, his dark eyes dancing. “You aren’t going to pull my hair again, are you?” she teased, trying to shake him out of his stupor. “Because you remember what happened the last time.”
He shook his head slowly, his eyes dazed.
This was bad. “I pulled your hair right back,” Maddie reminded. The sooner he thought of her as a freakish brute of a child again, the better for both of them. “You whined like a girl and told me never to do that again or your brother would beat me up.”
She watched with satisfaction as his face crinkled with laughter. “Oh, yeah,” he admitted. “I do remember that. You were a hostile little thing, weren’t you?”
“I wasn’t the one who started it.”
He laughed again. “Ah, that was probably true. And if I said that about my brother, I was lying. If I’d ever come home and told him I let a girl pull my hair, the sonuvabitch would have beat me up.”
Maddie laughed. She’d had no trouble with Kenny after that first unfortunate incident, and she hadn’t held it against him. There was something about pulling her hair that most boys under the age of eleven couldn’t seem to resist, and it was a problem for which she’d had a standard remedy since preschool. Anyone who pulled her hair got their own hair pulled back — immediately and twice as hard. She could still remember how delighted she’d been, on her first introduction to Mrs. Eda’s class, to see how many of her male classmates wore their own locks long and shaggy.
“So, seriously,” he continued, the telltale lights back in his eyes again. “What are you doing back here? And how long are you staying?”
Maddie relaxed and explained her situation, all the while trying to subtly dissuade his interest in her person. But she quickly realized that she was failing. Without the benefit of being able to drop a definitive “my boyfriend this or that” into the conversation, her polite options f
or saying “not interested” were limited, and no matter what tone or body language she used, she could see that her every friendly reminiscence was being willfully interpreted as flirtation. When she realized that at some point Gloria had slipped out of the truck and joined them, she turned to the girl with relief. “I think they like you,” she teased, referring to the two cats Gloria was cuddling while she reclined against a climbing ladder.
Gloria grinned lazily. “This is Yuki, and this is Chigger,” she introduced. “They love me.”
“Hey, Gloria,” Kenny called to his younger cousin. “How’s loser-man?”
Maddie felt the air spike with tension. If Gloria were feline, her hair would have bristled. “Just fine,” she said acidly.
A tense silence followed. Maddie decided to cut her losses. “Well, it’s good to see you, Kenny, but we’d better get moving. I’ve got a boat to catch.”
“Well, hey,” he said to Maddie. “Give me a call next time you come over. We can hang out or something. Or maybe I can look you up next time I’m on Maui?”
Gloria snorted loudly.
Kenny shot her a glare.
“It’s funny that Kai’s back on Maui now too, isn’t it?” Gloria said pointedly, glaring back at him.
Kenny frowned. Then he stepped away and gestured for Maddie to follow him to the gate. He smiled at her pleasantly again. “Our little Kai’s a big lawyer man, now,” he offered.
“So I hear,” Maddie replied. There was no mistaking the note of resentment in Kenny’s voice. “Little Kai” certainly did engender strange feelings these days.
Kenny took a brochure from the rack, scribbled something on it, and handed it to Maddie. “Call me,” he begged, his eyes twinkling at her again.
“Gotta go! We’re late!” Gloria shouted, bursting in between them. Once she and Maddie were both back outside and getting in the truck, she called over to him in a sing-song. “By the way, Kenny, tell Anissa I said hi!”
Maddie waved goodbye and pulled out, trying not notice the irritated look on Kenny’s face or the gleam of wicked satisfaction in Gloria’s eyes.
“Oh, he is such a damn hypocrite!” Gloria cried with disgust as soon as they were out on the road. “Acting like he knows so much better than me. Calling Dylan a loser, like he’s some kind of prize! One look at you and he’s got his tongue hanging out like a dog! Did you know he’s like, practically engaged?”
“Good for him,” Maddie deadpanned, feeling lousy. She wished she could have stayed longer at the refuge. She would even have liked to spend more time catching up with Kenny.
Gloria was quiet for a moment. “I’ve got to ask,” she said finally. “Having all these guys hit on you… I know it gets old, but surely you’ve got to enjoy it a little. I mean, come on! You could go out with any guy you wanted to!”
“I’d rather have friends,” Maddie said bitterly. She knew she should shut up and let it go, but she couldn’t seem to help herself.
Gloria’s face screwed up with confusion. “So? You can have both!”
“No, I can’t!” Maddie protested. “All my friends are gay.”
Gloria laughed. But when Maddie didn’t laugh with her, she sobered. “Wait, you mean, seriously?”
“Seriously,” Maddie replied. “I do not have a single close male friend who is straight. I can’t even remember the last one. The last one that lasted, I mean.”
“Well, why not?” Gloria asked.
Maddie gritted her teeth. She tried to avoid talking to people like this, because it usually just made them see her as an ungrateful whiner, and she was not by nature a complainer. But once in a while, dammit, it really did help to vent. “Because the ones who are taken already don’t seem to feel much need for outside companionship, and if they do, their significant others tend to have a problem with me,” she explained. “The ones who aren’t taken, the ones who say they’re cool with just being friends, are usually only sticking around because they’re hoping I’ll change my mind. And when they realize I won’t, they’re gone.”
“Come on,” Gloria said skeptically. “It can’t be that bad.”
Maddie’s shoulders drooped with disappointment. No one ever understood. “Believe me or not,” she said tonelessly.
Gloria frowned. “You have to have some guy friends.”
“I have acquaintances, comrades, study buddies,” Maddie agreed. “It’s just that we can only get so close. There’s an invisible line somewhere, and once we cross it — however innocently or accidentally — things get weird. A switch flips in the guy’s brain, and from then on, being around me just irritates him.”
Gloria stared. “That’s… wow. Never thought about it.”
Maddie shrugged. She shouldn’t have brought it up. “There are worse fates in life than being me,” she said dismissively, trying to regain her earlier cheer.
Gloria continued to stare. “I wonder what Kai will do.”
Maddie felt a flicker of panic. “Do? About what?”
Gloria grinned. “About you, of course. You’re going to rock his righteous little world, you know that?”
Maddie’s brow furrowed. “Define ‘righteous.’”
Gloria exploded with laughter, then shook her head. “Oh, no. No no no. You’re going to have to find that out all by yourself.”
Maddie exhaled loudly. She would indeed find out for herself. Possibly tomorrow afternoon. She knew it was pure selfishness, but she really, really wanted to know if Kai would recognize her. Aki had promised her they wouldn’t forewarn him of her visit, but as many people as she’d run into on the island, including Kenny now, it was only a matter of time before someone else did.
She would be lying through her teeth if she said she wasn’t nervous about seeing Kai again. If she said she didn’t have expectations, if she said that failure wouldn’t crush her to the bone. People misunderstood, though. Clearly, they thought that Kai would be shocked by her adult appearance. No one bothered to wonder how she might feel upon seeing him again, but the unspoken assumption was that romantic attraction would be in the air. After all, they had been childhood sweethearts, hadn’t they?
Maddie’s fingers clenched the steering wheel. No, they had not. They had been children, for God’s sake. Their little minds had never gone there, not even close. They were friends. Not just friends, but real friends. As real as it got, with no romantic or physical anything to get in the way. What they had was a meeting of the souls that was pure and natural and meaningful and easy…
And she wanted it back again.
She had lied when she told Gloria she couldn’t remember her last straight male friend. She could remember, because Kai had been it. Assuming he was straight, which she didn’t know. It could actually make things easier if he wasn’t. Either way, she was certainly glad he wasn’t married. If he was straight and married, there would be no hope for her. His wife wouldn’t let Maddie get close enough. Wives never did.
“You okay?” Gloria asked.
Maddie’s mind was elsewhere. “Fine.”
She knew she shouldn’t pin so much hope on becoming Kai’s friend again. She hadn’t intended to, but from the second her plane had touched down and the memories had started bubbling up, what started out as a fanciful quest had turned into a burning mission. She remembered “her Kai” so clearly now. Throughout her manic girlhood, he had been her rock. His cool reason and unending patience had kept her grounded — and in one piece — while his stories had ignited her imagination and his crazy dreams had warmed her heart. Maybe she had no reason to believe that he would be any different from any other man, now. No reason to place her faith on his thin brown shoulders. And yet… she couldn’t let it go.
“Where to next?” Gloria asked.
“Taking you home,” Maddie answered. She would not get to the beach on this trip, after all. Malaya had told her to leave the truck at the marina, and she had forgotten that asking Gloria along meant she would have to deliver her back to town first. But that was okay. She felt bette
r about Gloria. The teen had fallen for the wrong guy, but it wouldn’t last forever. All the family could do was wait it out. “I’ve got a boat to catch,” she said again, lightening her tone.
“Kai really will be happy to see you,” Gloria said thoughtfully, smiling at her.
Maddie smiled back, but the ever-so-slightly wicked sparkle in Gloria’s eyes set her nerves on edge. What if Kai did want more than friendship, just like Kenny? Of course it was a risk. But she consoled herself in thinking it was not a great one. Physically, she and Kai were an obvious mismatch. Not that Maddie had a problem, in general, with couples where the woman was taller. But as shallow as it made her sound, she doubted she could ever have romantic feelings about a man who made her look and feel like a giantess, and Kai must surely feel the same about a woman who made him feel like an elf. Fifteen years might make for some significant changes, but there was no way around Kai’s gene pool. Even if he’d miraculously grown two inches taller than either of his parents, he’d still be nearly half a foot shorter than she was.
Which wouldn’t matter in the slightest, if only they could get back to that warm, comfortably deep connection they’d felt once before — and nothing more.
But he had to want the same thing.
“I hope so,” Maddie replied.
Chapter 9
The light rapping on his door made Kai tense with frustration. Between the phone and other people popping in, he had been interrupted at least twenty times today. It was quitting time now; he had hoped that at least the regular staff would go home and the office would quiet down. But no. He wasn’t behind exactly, but he wanted to stay on top of things so that he had plenty of time and space to work with Haley next week.
“Come in,” he called absently, flipping through the brief in front of him.
A figure slipped in the door and stood still, saying nothing. He finished the paragraph he was reading before looking up.
One glance told him he wouldn’t be interrupted for long. Clearly, there had been a mistake.