by Edie Claire
He took a breath and studied her. Her eyes were wide. She said nothing.
“You asked about the church,” he said more quietly. “I might be too much of a natural skeptic to buy into the whole history of the Nephites and the Lamanites and all the theology that comes with it, but I can’t deny the positive effect the church has had on my grandparents’ lives. They’re the happiest people I know. Their lives are full of love, and they’re always working hard to do good and to make the world a better place. I can’t knock that. And I won’t knock that.”
Gloria was still staring at him. He leaned back in his chair.
“As for Maddie…” he said softly. “Of course there’s chemistry. Of course I want more. And I’m not giving up on her, not yet. But I’m not going to push her, either. Ever. She’s been pushed all her life and she’s got a right to be sick of it. If she’s interested, she can let me know.”
He paused.
The silence in the room was deafening. Gloria seemed disturbed.
“I’m not judging you, Gloria,” he said. “Or anyone else. But I won’t apologize for doing things my own way, either.”
“I get it,” she said defensively, rising. She lowered her eyes, threw her banana peel in the trash can, and walked off into her bedroom.
She started banging around behind her door, and Kai choked down the rest of his limp toast. He pushed off the lid of the shoebox and looked inside. The stack of letters and papers he was hoping to find was right on top and he pulled it out, all the while keeping an anxious eye on Gloria’s room. He felt sure he’d upset her again, although in what way this time, he wasn’t sure. He only knew her reaction was different.
In a matter of minutes she reappeared wearing street clothes. Her hair looked magically back to normal. She headed for the front door.
Kai stood up and moved after her. He had no idea if he was doing or saying the right thing, but at least she was listening, so it was now or possibly never. “Gloria?” he asked.
She opened the door, then turned and looked at him. “Yeah?”
“Does Dylan make you happy?”
He watched as a miniscule smile lifted one corner of her mouth. Then, abruptly, she let out a sound somewhere between a scoff and a snort.
“Dylan’s an asshole,” she replied.
Chapter 24
Maddie walked between the towering Cook Island pines of the park and on into the residential streets. The sun was shining brightly already. It would be a warm day. She passed a cluster of teenaged boys she didn’t know, and although ordinarily she would tense up at the prospect of catcalls, she knew she had nothing to worry about on Lana'i. The boys would think she was a tourist, and Lana'ians were savvy enough to know that happy tourists meant a happy economy. They might stare at her, but unlike teens elsewhere or even tourists at the resorts, the local boys wouldn’t pester her, they would just smile at her and walk on by.
They smiled at her and walked on by.
Another swell of moisture rose behind her eyes, and she sucked in a sharp breath to staunch it. She wasn’t starting that again. She had cried all she was going to cry today. She just had to beat this one last puzzle-piece out of Kai, and then all the revelations would be over with and she could go back to loving this little island without being afraid again.
She turned a corner toward the Nakama house and was surprised to see Gloria walking toward her, staring down at a phone.
“Hey,” Maddie greeted, wondering if the girl was still supposed to be under house arrest. “Where are you headed?”
“Just out for a walk,” Gloria replied cheerfully, pocketing the phone. “And you?”
Maddie hesitated. “I’m… well, I’m on my way to your house, I guess.”
“Cool. See you later.” Gloria passed her and walked on.
Maddie stopped, feeling uneasy. She was fairly certain that Gloria had been grounded all weekend. Possibly for the rest of her life. But was it her business?
“Oh, by the way, Maddie,” Gloria called out suddenly.
Maddie swung around.
“He’s not the most obvious about it, but Kai’s really into you. And… just my personal opinion… but you could do worse, you know.”
Maddie blinked. Where was this coming from? She pretended a skeptical look. “I seem to recall you telling me that he was a prig.”
Gloria looked thoughtful. “Well, yeah. He is. Technically, I mean. But that word is a little harsh. It’s more like he can be kind of lame sometimes, but in an adorable sort of way, you know?”
Maddie had no response to that. Gloria shrugged at her and resumed walking.
“Gloria?” Maddie called, worrying all over again. The girl was definitely acting weird, and if she was sneaking out to see Dylan while the rest of the family slept, all hell was going to break loose — with Maddie as co-conspirator.
Gloria turned around and looked at her while continuing to walk backwards.
“You’re not going to see Dylan, are you?” Maddie pleaded.
Gloria cracked a grin. “Who?”
Maddie was confused. “Dylan,” she said louder.
“Oh, him,” Gloria said, still grinning. She waved a dismissive hand. “I broke up with him seconds ago.” She laughed out loud, turned her back, and strutted off.
Maddie stared after her. She wanted to be hopeful about the truth of that statement, but she was far too perplexed. Why, oh why, did everyone have to talk in riddles this morning?
The Nakama house was quiet as she approached. The truck was gone and there were no signs of life. She jogged up to the front door and knocked. In a few seconds, Kai opened it.
She could not get used to the sight of him. Still.
All it took was a couple hours of not seeing him — heck, even twenty minutes and a change of clothes — and her brain did a total reset. He was so unexpectedly tall, and mature-looking, and aggravatingly handsome… it made her nuts, especially when she was annoyed with him, which she reminded herself that she was. “Good morning,” she said tersely.
“Good morning,” he returned.
Maddie tensed. The stiffness of her greeting had been entirely put-on, but his was not. When she’d left him last night they’d seemed okay with one another, albeit emotionally exhausted. This morning, in addition to looking tired, his beautiful brown eyes seemed almost wary.
“I’m upset with you,” she announced, throwing a playful edge into her voice.
He opened the door for her. “Yeah? So what else is new?”
She grinned at him. To her relief, he grinned back.
“How are you?” he asked. “Did you get any sleep?”
“No. Did you?”
Kai shook his head. He waved her over to the couch and pushed a bunch of stuff off the edge of it and onto the floor. She sat down first, and he perched himself at the couch’s opposite end. Maddie studied him thoughtfully. She marveled again at his “gentlemanly” behavior and wondered if his later upbringing in Utah had been responsible. For his sister to label him as a prig for being courteous and considerate was grossly unfair, to be sure. But at the current moment, his body language went past polite. He was being standoffish.
“I talked to Nana,” she began, not knowing what she wanted to say. “She filled in some of the blanks for me.”
Kai nodded. “That’s good. Do you feel any better?”
Maddie considered. “In a way. I found out that she came to see me at the resort, while I was waiting for my grandparents. I never knew that. I asked for her, but I didn’t think she came.”
Kai was quiet for a moment. “That’s awful. I’m sorry.”
Maddie felt a pang in her middle. She could tell from his expression that he understood. That he cared. But how could he care about her hurt feelings over missing Nana, and not understand how much it hurt that he had never answered her letter? How could he care enough to tell her that her mother committed suicide, but then leave out some other dark secret at the same time? She didn’t get it.
�
��I went to see the old men this morning,” she continued. “I told them I knew about my mother, and Mr. Li said something strange. He said that you were ‘a strong boy.’” She watched Kai’s face carefully. “Now, what would he mean by that? Why would he say it? And what is it that Nana and Malaya don’t want you or anyone else to tell me?”
Kai looked stricken. Practically green. He rose abruptly and turned away.
“Kai?” she rose and followed him into the kitchen.
She watched as he picked up an empty cup from the counter, filled it with water from the sink, and drank. He had drained a third of it before he looked at her again. “You want anything?” he asked, gesturing to the fridge.
“Just an answer,” she said calmly.
His reaction worried her. Kai was nothing if not a straight arrow. Whatever he wasn’t telling her, it bothered him deeply.
“Maddie,” he said, his voice quiet. “Last night I told you everything that has to do with you. The rest of it really doesn’t. It only has to do with me. My mom and Nana — it’s me they’re worried about. They shouldn’t, because I’m fine. But that’s what all the mystery’s about. I promise, no one’s trying to keep you in the dark for any reason other than to spare me.”
Maddie stared. He looked so vulnerable all of a sudden that she felt a primal urge to vault herself across the kitchen, throw her arms around his neck, and hold him. But she was able to restrain herself. Because he was definitely putting distance between them this morning.
“I see,” she answered.
“I do think we should probably talk about it,” he continued quietly. “Just get it all out in the open so that we can put it behind us both once and for all. If you think you’re up to that. I didn’t want to lay it all on you last night. Hearing about your mother seemed like enough for one sitting.”
Maddie felt a trembling sensation well up in her arms again, but she willed it back down. No. She had already faced the worst of it. Whatever this was, she could handle it.
“Okay,” she agreed.
Kai smiled at her, but it was a small, sad smile. A smile that worried her. “We should take a walk somewhere,” he suggested. “I don’t want Gloria to overhear. Maybe we could pack some food? Head up the mountain?”
Maddie envisioned herself swinging from the Tarzan trees. Her mood brightened and she was about to smile when she realized that she had completely forgotten about Kai’s sister. “Was Gloria supposed to stay here?” she asked. “Because I ran into her down the—”
Her explanation was cut short by the crunching sound of the Nakamas’ truck rolling up on the gravel outside. Malaya parked and jogged quickly through the front door. “Hey, Maddie. Listen, Kai, I’ve got to get up to the marina. If you want the truck today, you’ll have to drop me off.”
Kai put down his cup. “Sure. Just let me get my shoes on. Maddie, you want to come?”
She nodded in agreement.
“Where’s Gloria?” Malaya asked, looking through the girl’s open bedroom door.
“Was she not supposed to leave the house at all?” Kai asked.
Malaya drew in a breath and threw back her shoulders, instantly mom-scary again. Maddie felt herself mentally shrink two feet and suspected that Kai was doing the same. “Kai!” Malaya bellowed. “You told us last night you would keep an eye on her!”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly. “We had a good talk this morning, and she went outside afterwards, but I didn’t think—”
“Malaya?” Maddie broke in. She tried to remind herself that she wasn’t eight years old anymore, but an angry Malaya could scare the crap out of anybody. “I ran into Gloria just now, down the street. She said she was going for a walk. And she also said… although I can’t be a hundred percent sure she wasn’t joking… but she said that she had just broken up with Dylan.”
Malaya’s dark eyes widened to saucers. She mumbled something in a language Maddie guessed was Filipino.
“Maddie,” Kai said breathlessly, stepping forward. “Are you sure?”
“No,” she answered. “I’m not sure she broke up with him. But I am sure she told me she did.”
Malaya’s perfectly shaped lips broke into a radiant smile. “I’ll take it, Maddie girl! I’ll take it! Hallelujah!” She turned to Kai. “What did you say to her?”
Kai looked flabbergasted. “I… I can’t believe it was anything I said.”
Malaya looked at her phone, then dodged into the bathroom. “You can tell me on the way. I’m going to be late!”
Maddie waited in the kitchen while Kai put on his shoes, and when her eyes alighted on a gold baseball batter figurine sitting on the kitchen table, she cried out with glee. “Your MVP award! Fourth grade Little League. Geez, you worshipped this thing! You practically had a shrine going,” she teased.
The trophy was sitting next to a shoebox along with a stack of envelopes, and on top of the stack was a letter addressed to Kai in pretty cursive handwriting. The return sticker had a picture of an angel and was printed with the name of Stan and Amy Ford with an address in Provo, Utah. Maddie looked at the postmark. December 10, 2001 — the time of her own first Christmas back on the mainland. She pushed the letter aside and looked further down the stack. More letters from Stan and Amy. Dozens of them.
Malaya came out of the bathroom and hustled toward the door. “Let’s go!”
“Maddie?” Kai called.
“Sorry.” She hastened to follow the two of them outside, then jumped into the back seat of the truck.
So, Kai’s grandparents had written him letters. So what?
That didn’t mean he had written them back.
Get over it.
Malaya drove the truck, which put Maddie’s nerves on a razor edge. Malaya’s subconscious driving was hazardous at the best of times, and the tour guide was even more distracted than usual. She wanted Kai to spill every detail of his conversation with Gloria, and the more he kept respectfully insisting that the details were private, the more agitated his mother became. Maddie kept a death grip on the passenger door in the back seat as the red dust flew and the truck narrowly avoided head-ons with three Cook Island pines and a rental jeep. Kai wouldn’t budge, however, and Malaya finally gave up and decided she would just assume the good news to be true. After all, what could be the harm in thinking positively for one sunny Sunday?
They reached the Manele boat harbor in a frighteningly short time, and Malaya turned into the parking lot. She pulled up next to one of the tour vans and hopped out in a flash. “Van’s not supposed to be here,” she explained, shaking her head. “And I’ve got to pick up some people at the airport. Thanks, Kai. See you later!”
She started up the van and disappeared in yet another cloud of red dust. Kai got out of the truck and walked around to the driver side. Maddie stayed where she was. She was thinking.
After a moment, Kai looked back over his shoulder at her. “Am I supposed to drive you around like this? Because it feels kind of weird.”
“I saw that stack of letters from your grandparents,” she replied, not listening. “They obviously put some effort into keeping up with you while you were growing up. Did they call, too?”
Kai was quiet for a moment. He looked like he didn’t want to answer. But he did. “Yes, maybe once a month or so. But calls were more expensive back then. And talking on the phone could be awkward. I didn’t know them all that well. But my grandfather used to make crossword puzzles for me. And then I would make puzzles for him. And my grandmother would encourage me to write stories for her. It was easier for me than trying to talk about school and day-to-day things.”
He shut the engine off. “You want to take a walk around the marina maybe? Now that we’re here?”
He wrote back to his grandparents.
A weight settled in Maddie’s stomach.
Why does it matter? she screamed at herself.
“Sure,” she answered, unbuckling her seatbelt.
They stepped out of the truck and began walking
across the grassy picnic area toward the boat docks. Kai’s phone rang, and he pulled it out of his shorts pocket.
“It’s my dad,” he explained.
“No problem,” Maddie replied, secretly relieved. A flash of blue, black, and white had caught her eye. “I have birds to watch.”
The small flock of birds swooped over the tourist family at the picnic tables and lighted in a cluster of trees farther away. Maddie followed, catching up to the birds on the lawn near the barbecue pavilion. “Hello, Java sparrows,” she greeted. She had seen the species many times when she was a child, but then she hadn’t known what to call them. “And my old Kentucky cardinal. How’s it going?” She smirked at the solid red, crested bird that pecked in the grass along with the sparrows. A few feet away from it, another cardinal also hunted for food.
“Now, you’re a little more interesting,” Maddie complimented, admiring how its own red head was set off from its dark wings by a bright white breast and neck collar. The two cardinals hopped closer together suddenly, and Maddie studied them with a wry expression. When the volcano that was to become the island of Lana'i had first popped out of the ocean, there was no bird life on it — all the species had come from somewhere else, at some later point in time. She happened to know that both these species had settled on the island in just the last hundred years. One from the Eastern United States and one from South America. To her, the Brazilian Cardinal was wonderfully exotic while the Kentucky bird was a bore. But the birds didn’t see it that way, did they? As far as they were concerned, they were both Hawaiian.