by Edie Claire
“I know you were confused and an emotional wreck,” she said tremulously, “and I feel bad even asking about it, now. But I can’t help but wonder, if you were worried about me, didn’t my letter help? I mean, at least it should have proved to you that I was alive and well! Even if we knew we’d probably never see each other again, it would still have been fun to be pen pals. I thought so, and I thought you would, too. I was so sure of it!”
Her face was earnest; her eyes were drowning with hurt. Kai started to reach out towards her, but she immediately drew back.
“I saw all those letters from your grandparents!” she cried, her voice catching. “And I knew then that I hadn’t been wrong. Maybe most boys your age wouldn’t want to write letters, but you would. You would have loved to do dumb stuff like make puzzles for each other and write stories and tell jokes. I was so excited about that! It was the only thing that kept me going for weeks! But you didn’t answer me, Kai! Nothing! Never!”
“Maddie, stop!” Kai commanded as her voice began to break. “You were not wrong, okay?” He reached into the back pocket of his shorts and pulled out the envelope he’d stashed there this morning. He knew he’d need to show it to her. Thank God he’d never thrown it away.
“Here,” he said, pulling out the single sheet of stationery and extending it to her. “This is your letter, Maddie. The letter you sent to me. Read it.”
Chapter 27
Maddie looked down at the small sheet of paper. It had sepia-toned roses around the edges. Filched from her grandmother’s roll-top desk, no doubt. Lines of large, ghastly print clearly recognizable as her own ran slantwise across the page in blue ink. She reached out with unsteady fingers and took the letter from Kai’s hand.
Dear Kai,
You miserable stinking rat! Why didn’t you come and say goodbye? I hate Ohio. It is SO cold here. EVERYTHING is either BROWN or GRAY. I miss the ocean and everyone is mean. I want to come back but Dad says no. I think I might get a job there someday though. But I’m mad at Nana too cause she didn’t come see me either and I hate it here. And I’m mad because nobody asked me if I wanted to stay and I think I could have found somewhere to sleep and I would have been fine. And if you had said something I could have stayed with you but NO you just let them take me and so I’m mad at you too now.
You better answer me!
M
The letter fell from Maddie’s hands. It drifted onto the surface of the water and rested there a moment before, slowly, the saltwater began to seep through. Kai leaned down to rescue it, but Maddie stopped his arm with her hand.
“No,” she ordered. “Let the damn thing sink.”
Her stomach felt like she’d been sucker punched. A shiver rocked her shoulders. Was that truly what she had written?
“I swear to God, Kai,” she said miserably, “I had no idea I wrote such an awful thing. If you’d asked me before I saw that, I would have guessed that I waxed nostalgic about our walks up to the Sweetheart Rock, confessed how much I missed you, and sent you a cryptogram with the names of the constellations.”
She wasn’t looking at him, but she heard him chuckle. “Yeah, that would have been fun,” he said warmly.
She turned to face him, her stomach still aching. “I’m sorry, Kai. So, so sorry.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t show you that to make you feel bad, Maddie. You’d just lost your mother and been ripped away from your home and half the people you loved. You were at least as messed up in the head as I was. The letter was obviously just a venting mechanism. You had no idea what you were doing, certainly no idea what effect it might have on me.”
Maddie thought she might be sick. “I can’t even begin to think what effect it had on you,” she murmured, lowering her head again. “First you thought I was dead, then you found out I was alive but gone forever, then you get a letter from the undead bitching and moaning that I’m miserable and it’s all your fault? Oh, my God, Kai.”
She expected him to put his arms around her. She wanted him to put his arms around her. But he didn’t.
She straightened her spine and looked up at him. “What I wrote in that letter was horrible. Unforgivably horrible. And what’s worse is that I’ve been mad at you ever since for not answering me. Whether I admitted it to myself or not, I took your not answering to mean that our friendship didn’t matter as much to you as it did to me. And that it probably never had.”
Kai’s dark eyes held her gaze, and Maddie’s still-sick stomach got butterflies. He was so damned gorgeous. No man should have lashes like that.
“I didn’t answer the letter because I had no clue what to write back to you,” he replied. “Really, Maddie, what could I write? I was a mess. There was no good news. I had no control over anything that happened to you or would happen to you, or anything that was happening to me. I thought you were really mad at me and I had no idea what to say in my defense to make things better.”
“I was mad,” Maddie said miserably. “But I wasn’t mad mad.”
Kai smiled at her. “I know that. Now. And I would have understood it then, too, if I’d been in a better place. But I wasn’t. Like I said, I was a mess. And so were you. If we’d both been in a better place — if your dad had gotten some great job offer on the mainland and you’d moved away like any other kid moves away, we could have been pen pals and it would have been great. I’d probably have three shoeboxes full of letters, all from you, back home in my parents’ closet right now.”
Maddie felt the clenching in her gut slowly ease up a little. Her eyes moistened anew and she felt herself grinning. “I don’t think Malaya would like that.”
Kai grinned back. “What? Me writing to you, or me trying to store a bunch of extra boxes in her closets?”
Maddie considered. “I’m hoping just the last part.”
“My family adores you, and you know it,” Kai said gently. “They always have. And they’re all very glad to welcome you back again.”
Maddie met his eyes and smiled at him. A warmth spread through her middle, and she began to feel better. Truly better. At long last, everything about her departure from Lana'i and the miserable months that followed made sense. It was not a pretty picture, or a simple one. But it was clear, and it was real. And it was solid.
She was going to get past it. And the future would be just fine.
She lifted a hand and raised it to his temple. The long, glossy locks of his boyhood were cut shorter now, but she indulged herself in running her fingers through the black curls over his ear. He stood perfectly still, regarding her curiously.
Her heart soared. Straight from high school to BYU. Seven years living under an honor code with no extramarital sex allowed. Six months on Maui, working all the time. He’d even said that the LDS lifestyle suited him! And how many times had Gloria hinted at the same?
And yet, what had Madalyn The-World’s-Most-Spectacular-Hypocrite Westover done the second she’d laid eyes on that amazingly gorgeous face and totally hot body of his? She had assumed he must have slept with a million women, because of course why wouldn’t he if he was good-looking enough to have girls falling all over him every day of his life?
Oh, the irony. Someday she would tell him about it, and he would have a good laugh.
But not right now. Right now, she was going to do absolutely nothing but enjoy the rest of the afternoon on her favorite island with her favorite guy. No pressure. No fear. No nervousness.
Just fun.
“I suppose we really shouldn’t litter,” she said lightly, stepping away from him. She squatted down in the water and leaned out to scoop up the remnants of her letter from the sandy bottom. Oh, darn. Her shirt front got wet. She stuffed the soggy mess of paper in her shorts pocket, then climbed out of the pool. She stood on a rock ledge and stretched, readjusting her clingy shirt. “I can’t remember it ever getting this hot in January before, can you?”
She stole a glance at his face, and it was all she could do not to laugh. The water in the pool around him might as well
be steaming. “You want to take a dip? I can get wet in these clothes. I don’t care.” She grinned at him. “We can cap off our day with an hour at the launderette.” She arched her back, lifted her hands above her head, and shook out her hair.
“Maddie!” Kai said in a strange, strangled voice.
She fought back a grin. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said brusquely. He climbed up on the rocks and walked toward her. Maddie walked away until she reached the deep pool by the steps. “So, what do you say, Nakama?” she teased. “Shall we jump in? Clothes and all?”
His expression was all over the place. He looked frustrated, and conflicted, and completely incapable of taking his eyes off her.
Maddie jumped in.
Kai jumped in after her.
She laughed as the splash he made doused her hair and plastered it to her face. The pool they were standing in was only waist deep, but she lifted her feet and treaded water for a moment, soaking her torso and letting her hair fan out behind her.
Kai’s gaze could set the water on fire.
She got her feet back under her again and took a step closer to him. It was time to put him out of his misery. And herself, too.
His rib cage heaved with uneven breaths. His dark, beautiful eyes swam with torment. “Maddie,” he said in a whisper. “If you want to be just friends, that’s fine. I’ll always be your friend. But—”
Maddie moved forward, silencing him on the “but” by placing her hands on his chest, then sliding them up over his shoulders. Slowly, she pressed the rest of her body against his until they were standing nose to nose. “Well, see,” she whispered back. “Here’s the thing. I’ve decided I don’t want to be just friends anymore. So if you’re feeling guilty about lusting over this super hot bod of mine, you really shouldn’t.” She grinned at him wickedly. “I certainly don’t feel bad about lusting over yours.”
He stared back at her in surprise, but only for a second. In the next second, he pulled her against him so tightly she almost lost her breath. And in the second after that, he released her just enough to lean down and touch his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, tender and undemanding, but she could feel the pent-up heat inside him as his every muscle shuddered with restraint.
Oh, yeah, she thought happily, this would be fine. She buried her head in the curve of his shoulder, hugged him soundly, and then let herself relax. She could feel his heart beating next to hers: pounding with excitement, in perfect sync.
Whatever had she been so worried about? If it hadn’t felt right before, it was only because the relationship wasn’t right. There was nothing wrong with her.
A gull flew screaming over their heads. Children’s voices echoed up from lower on the trail, unfortunate omens that their privacy was soon to meet an end. The cool water of the tide pool lapped gently at their waists.
“Kai?” she whispered.
“Yes?”
How she loved that deep, adult voice of his!
“We had a lot of fun when we were kids.”
“Yes, we did,” Kai agreed. He lifted a hand, began to caress the small of her back. Tentative, affectionate.
Nice.
Maddie pulled up her head and smiled at him. “I’m thinking we could have a whole lot more fun, now that we’re both grown up.”
He smiled back at her, his brown eyes sparkling like the stars he loved so much.
“Definitely,” he replied.
Author’s Note
I knew as soon as I finished writing this story that the next book in the series would have to take place on Maui, because I wasn’t nearly done with Maddie and Kai! To get started reading Maui Winds now, skip ahead for an excerpt. If this is the first book you’ve read in the Pacific Horizons series, you may want to go back and start at the beginning with Alaskan Dawn. If you’d like to read the entire series at an affordable price (including a special bonus scene for Alaskan Dawn), please check out Edie Claire Collections on my website.
Leaving Lana'i is also available as an audiobook narrated by Jorjeana Marie. Look for the Pacific Horizons series and other Edie Claire titles from Audible here.
To find out more about my other works of romantic fiction, as well as the USA-Today bestselling Leigh Koslow mystery series, please visit www.edieclaire.com. I always enjoy hearing from readers via email, so if you’re so inclined, please drop me a note at [email protected]. Thanks so much for reading!
About Lana'i
Unlike Madalyn Westover, I did not grow up on Lana'i (nor has anyone ever asked me if I was a model). Like Maddie, however, I did spend several delightful hours at the Lana'i Culture and Heritage Center, which is a wonderful resource for anyone interested in learning more about the people and history of this enchanting island. I am indebted to everyone I met who was willing to share their personal experiences of growing up on Lana'i, especially Mikala Enfield, who tolerated my endless list of bizarre questions with admirable humor. Any mistakes or misrepresentations with regard to island life and lore are entirely the fault of my own brain and not of the people with whom I spoke.
An art gallery is portrayed in the novel as being located next to Dole Park in Lana'i City, and in fact there is a real gallery in just this location. Take a look at the Mike Carroll Art Gallery website, and you can view a variety of prints and paintings of the island, as well as browse through offerings by local artists.
My EarthDefense legal team and the firm they work for is fictional, but the concept is based on a worthy nonprofit organization called Earthjustice, whose motto is “Because the earth needs a good lawyer.” If you share Ben Parker’s passion for the natural world, you should definitely check them out!
Any people and events in this book associated with the “Resort at Manele Bay” and the “Lodge at Ko'ele” are entirely fictional. There are two very real Four Seasons resorts on the island however; as well as the historic Hotel Lana'i, which was built in 1923 to lodge executives of the Dole Plantation. Both have their charms, if you’re ever so lucky as to visit Lana'i yourself. But even if you never get there in body, I hope this book has taken you there in spirit.
Books and Plays by Edie Claire
www.edieclaire.com
ROMANTIC FICTION
Fated Loves Collection
Long Time Coming
Meant To Be
Borrowed Time
Pacific Horizons Series
Alaskan Dawn
Leaving Lana'i
Maui Winds
Glacier Blooming
Tofino Storm (2019)
Hawaiian Shadows Series
Wraith
Empath
Lokahi
The Warning
WOMEN’S FICTION
The Mud Sisters
LEIGH KOSLOW MYSTERIES
Never Buried
Never Sorry
Never Preach Past Noon
Never Kissed Goodnight
Never Tease a Siamese
Never Con a Corgi
Never Haunt a Historian
Never Thwart a Thespian
Never Steal a Cockatiel
Never Mess with Mistletoe
Never Murder a Birder
HUMOR
Work, Blondes. Work!
COMEDIC STAGE PLAYS
Scary Drama I
See You in Bells
Excerpt from Maui Winds
Copyright © 2016 by Edie Claire
All rights reserved.
Prologue
Moscow, USSR, October 1991
The door swung open before her, and Julie Sullivan stepped through it. She was doing her best to steady her nerves, but no amount of mental preparation could slow the frantic pounding of her pulse in her ears. This was it. At last. They had waited so, so long.
The room was sparse and square, with a vinyl-tile floor and unadorned, white-painted masonry walls. Sixteen metal cribs lay within, arranged with a military precision that maximized the limited walking space in between. Each crib sported a thin mattress and si
ngle white sheet. One attendant sat in a straight-backed chair by a stainless steel sink; she looked up only briefly, then returned to her sewing. The still air smelled mildly of bleach, with only the faintest of more objectionable odors hidden beneath. The floor and linens appeared spotlessly clean, but overall, the room seemed dim. The two windows on the near wall were generous enough in size, but little sun navigated its way through both the cloudy sky and the narrow alleyway outside, and only half the light fixtures in the ceiling had working bulbs. Each of the cribs was occupied, although Julie didn’t hear a sound.
The director of the orphanage stopped walking again just a few steps into the room. A stocky, middle-aged woman who managed an engaging smile despite a prominent missing tooth, she turned and said something in Russian to Julie and her husband. The couple smiled back at her, then looked immediately at the thin, elderly man who had been their interpreter and constant companion since they had landed at the Moscow airport the night before.
“All of the babies in this room are between six months and a year old,” he explained. “They are all fed and washed on a schedule appropriate for their age. Everything is kept very clean here. The women are proud of their work, and all the babies are healthy.”
Julie and Tom exchanged a guarded look. Save for one tiny hiccuping sound while the interpreter was speaking, the infants remained silent. “Yes,” Tom replied, turning back to their hostess. “Everything is very clean.”
The director smiled and nodded, seeming to need no translation of the compliment. She turned and walked on into the room.
Julie hesitated, looking down to study the two infants in the cribs nearest her. They were awake. Their little eyes were open. One of them turned its head and twisted around to look at her better. The other did not. They were dressed neat and tidy in pastel-colored onesies, with light hair cropped close around their small, pale faces.