by JS Taylor
James frowns. “I feel… tainted,” he decides. “This awful stain on my past. I feel it taints me. As a person. As a man.”
He pauses.
“I feel,” his eyes are on mine, “as though I have no right to someone as pure and good as you are.”
I smile at him. “What makes you think I’m so pure and good?”
“You are. I know you are. And I don’t think your purity should be… associated with a man like me.”
“What did you think?” I ask. “That if you didn’t tell me this, you could be someone else? Someone new?”
He gives a little smile. “Yes. I guess I did.”
I kiss his cheek and his forehead.
“I love you more,” I decide, “for sharing this. For being open with me.”
His face is so utterly confused, that I can’t help smiling softly.
“It’s a female thing,” I explain. “We love more when men give us more to love. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad.”
“Really?” he whispers. His face is a picture.
“Really.” I nod. I kiss his forehead again. “I love the whole of you,” I say. “You don’t have to be strong and in control all the time. Sometimes, you can let me be the strong one.”
Something about his face collapses slightly, as though a long held strain has suddenly slipped away. I have a flash of a youthful innocence.
“Thank you,” he says. I feel his weight rest more deeply against me, and I wrap my arms tighter. At this moment, I am ready to defend him against anything.
I pull him close, channelling my feelings for him through my body.
There are no words for how much I love you, James. If you are broken, I will fix you. If you are hurting, I will care for you. And no matter what, I will love you always.
Chapter 9
We stay clasped in one another’s arms for a long time. And then James raises his face to mine, and it’s like the sun rising.
Something profound has happened since our conversation. I can see it in him. It must have been a real burden, I realise, to shoulder that confession and not know whether I’d love him at the end of it.
But he should have known. I’m bound to him now.
The place where my heart feels at home.
As if reading my mind, James repeats the words.
“Mo content toi,” he whispers, stroking my cheek.
“Mo content toi,” I murmur back. “The place where my heart feels at home.”
He hands me my Champagne, and we chink glasses, looking deep into one another’s eyes.
The cool liquid brings my mouth alive in the dark summer evening. Something about being here feels so delightfully clandestine. I can understand why the people of old built these secret gardens. They’re the ultimate romantic getaway.
“Try the caviar and blinis,” says James, pointing to one of the little plates of food he has laid out. “It’s a good match for Champagne.”
“Champagne and caviar,” I laugh, taking a sip. “Life’s little necessities.”
“That and good tailoring,” he agrees, lifting the plate for me to try.
I take one of the soft little buckwheat pancakes and bite into it, letting the salty eggs wash over my tongue.
“That’s really good,” I agree.
“Take a sip of Champagne,” he urges. “It has a texture which complements perfectly.”
I take a sip, letting the sparkling wine join with the caviar.
“Mmmm,” I agree. “I can see what all the fuss is about.”
“Let me feed you something else,” says James, shuffling close. And I realise he’s in his element. Taking care of me. Introducing me to new sensations.
How did he ever think his past would make me love him less?
“Close your eyes,” he whispers. And I obey instantly.
“Now.” His mouth is close to mine. “Open your mouth.”
I part my lips and can smell, before the food touches, that it’s a fresh strawberry.
I bite down, relishing the sweet soft fruit.
“Mmmm…” I flicker my eyes open to see his face close to mine.
“You look so sexy,” he says, “when you’re enjoying a sensual experience.”
“Thank you.” I’m not sure what else to say.
He stands suddenly, lifting me up by the hands.
“I want to take you somewhere,” he says.
“What about the picnic?” I protest, letting him raise me to my feet.
In answer, he picks up two Champagne glasses and a little plate of blinis and caviar.
“We’ll take the essentials to go.” He grins, handing me a glass.
James leads me out of the garden and into the lush green darkness of the Berkeley Estate.
I have no sense of where we’re headed in the dark, and when James suddenly stops, I can do little more than gaze in amazement.
It looks like an enormous lake, hidden away in the trees.
“Is that what I think it is?” I ask, staring out to where he’s brought me.
“Yup,” says James. “Beautiful in the moonlight, isn’t it?”
I nod, because it really is so lovely, I’m finding the right words difficult. Bordered by a copse of trees is a large expanse of flat, calm water. The moon sparkles off it, and the stars are reflected into the depths.
“I didn’t realise the estate had a lake,” I say.
“Lakes,” corrects James. “We have two. And a rather lovely river for trout fishing.”
I grin at him. It’s the only time I’ve ever heard him boast. I realise how proud he is of his heritage.
“This lake is fed by natural spring water,” adds James. “So it’s not deep. But the water is so pure, you could almost drink it.”
He circles his arm around me. “In the summer, it’s not too cold either,” he adds, “as you’re about to find out.”
As I’m about to find out?
“Wait,” I say, “you don’t mean we’re going to swim in here?”
The twinkling water looks so lovely, but I’m not sure about midnight swimming.
“No,” says James. He takes the Champagne glass from my hand and sets it lightly on the grass. Then he stands to face me, running his fingertips along the length of my body.
I feel myself warm beneath his touch, and suddenly, I want more than anything to be kissing him.
“We’re going to make love in the water,” whispers James, and he leans in close, taking my mouth in a beautiful, gentle kiss.
I feel my soul sigh out to him as I respond, letting him envelope me completely in his warmth.
I pull back a little as the impact of his words registers.
“Will it… Can we do that?” I ask, suddenly a little uncertain.
“Make love in the lake?” he asks. “Of course we can. It’s my inheritance after all,” he adds with a smile.
“No,” I’m shaking my head. “I mean…” I start to blush, relieved that it’s too dark to see. “I mean. Will we… You know… Work? In the water?”
His eyes shine with total amusement.
“If you want to know if I will work, then I can assure you,” he says, “I could make love to you stark naked on a snowdrift.”
“But in the water…” I press, still unsure.
Won’t the water… interfere?
“You’ll find everything works pretty much the same as on land,” he says, reaching out his hand and running it up the inside of my thigh.
He rests his thumb between my legs.
“You’ll find,” he whispers, “that this area stays quite safe underwater.” He kisses my mouth. “Ready for me,” he adds.
“But just to be sure,” James’s hands move to the buttons on my blouse, “let’s find out how wet I can make you before we get in.”
James quickly divests me of my skirt and blouse, and then stands for a moment, considering me in the moonlight.
“So very, very lovely,” he murmurs, letting his fingers linger on my bra and the
n slide around to unhook the strap.
Dropping my bra to the floor, James takes off his own shirt, pants, and finally boxers.
Cast in the flickering moonlight, his muscled torso looks like a sculpted work of art. With one big addition.
Mmmmm. I will never tire of seeing him naked.
James presses his hardness against me, and I tremble at the touch against my naked skin.
He leans down and kisses both my breasts. Then, kneeling, he slides down my panties, and kisses me once, directly between the legs.
Mmmmm. I like him there.
Having him kneel before me like this, is reverent. As though he’s making a worship of my body.
Then he cups my buttocks with his hands and pushes his tongue firmly into me.
Oh!
I feel myself convulse with lust. It’s so unexpected, and so hot, that I find my legs shaking. And then he slides his tongue around, caressing my clitoris in assured, firm circles.
Wow.
I feel my eyelids start to flutter. The movement is so expert, so precise, that my body starts building to orgasm.
“Not yet,” he whispers, breaking away.
He plants a row of kisses from between my legs right up my naked torso, along my neck, and finally onto my mouth.
I blink at the strangeness of tasting myself on his lips.
“Can you taste how good you are?” He grins at me. “I could stay down there all day.”
I look anywhere but his face, suddenly embarrassed.
“I think you’re wet enough now,” he murmurs, “that a little water won’t make any difference.”
He reaches down to his discarded pants and takes a condom from his pocket.
“Better to put this on now,” he says, tearing the foil and rolling it onto himself.
My body is racing hot, hardly aware of anything but him. So as he lifts me up easily, and carries me to the lake, I only notice that I’m locked in his strong arms.
As he wades into the cool water, I’m so dizzy with lust I hardly notice my calves dangle into the lake.
James walks in to waist height, with me still scooped up in his arms, and my lower legs submerged.
“Ready?” he murmurs. “It’s going to be a little cold at first.”
I nod. And he gently floats me down, turning me, so I’m facing him.
My breath catches a little as the water touches my warm body. And then the coldness is delicious. Exhilarating.
“Ok?” he asks.
I nod. “I like it,” I whisper.
His eyes glint. “Good.”
He moves his hands to take hold of my ass. And then slides his fingers around and in between my legs.
“You see?” he whispers. “You’re still perfectly ready for me.”
I feel by his fingers that he’s right. It’s like a special space has been reserved.
He moves forward so his hips are firm against mine. And I feel his hardness hot against my body.
“The water hasn’t made any difference to you either,” I say with a little smile.
“Not with you,” he says. And then he takes hold of my ass and lifts me up by the thighs.
Automatically, I wrap my legs around his waist, and he pushes himself deep inside my wetness.
“Ahhhh.” It feels like heaven, having him take me like this in the cool water. The moonlight shines overhead, dappling the lake. And as James begins to push slowly back and forth inside me, we create our own little waves, which break around us in sparkles of dappled light.
“I love you.” James holds me tight against his body, moving into me, deeper.
“I love you too,” I say, wrapping my legs tighter.
He lessens his grip on my upper body and gently lowers me down.
My long dark hair pools in the water. And then my top half is suspended horizontal, weightless with the cool lake lapping my body. My face is turned up to the moonlight, and a shooting star trails over us in the starry sky.
I feel James’s hand move, stroking over my body, building a rhythm with the water. He holds tight to my thighs, which are still close against him, wrapping deep into his hardness.
He thrusts again, and this time the new angle, is so incredibly deep, as though the extra momentum of the water has added another dimension.
Using the flat of his hand, he sends another wave of rippling water over my trembling torso, letting the tips of his fingers dance over my nipples.
“Mmmmm…” I feel transported into another world. The dual sensations are so much to take, the combined pleasure is mind-blowing.
His hardness, moving slow but deep into me. The cool water, rippling over the heat of my body, is giving me tingles everywhere.
James picks up the rhythm a little. Moving faster, more urgently against me. It’s all so much to take in. I hardly know what to focus on.
Then James’s fingers are at my clitoris, working me expertly. And all the sensations rush suddenly to that one pulsing area.
“Ahhhh!” I gasp, feeling myself build to an impossible height.
James moves firmly, his fingers flicking over me fast.
Just in the moment, when my body erupts in one giant starburst, he lifts my torso out of the water, and pulls me tight against him.
His lips are on mine, and my lower body moves of its own accord, grinding and pulsing against him.
The orgasm is shooting through my entire body, from my head to the tips of my toes. I want to bury my lips in his, and push my torso deep against his hardness.
“Issy,” whispers James. His eyes are on mine, and in that moment, I feel we are one person. Our lips work passionately together, and I feel him orgasm, juddering against my own climaxing body.
We hold firm together, the cool water lapping us, lost completely in the aftershock of pleasure.
Then James lets me down gently, so we’re both standing in the water, facing one another.
In the gentle moonlight, the calm lake has broken into large ripples. They edge out from where we stand in the water to the edge.
James is staring into my face. He strokes my face with the tips of his fingers, and then looks out at the wider lake.
“I think, sometimes, that’s what love is like,” he says, regarding the lake as he kisses my mouth. “It doesn’t just affect the two people involved. The ripples go outwards, further than we imagine.”
I’m gazing into his eyes, thick with love for him. But as he says the words, I feel an unexpected flash of foreboding.
James Berkeley, famous director. With an actress.
Our love will have a ripple effect. But it will be towards journalists, photographers and celebrity circles. It might ripple against the life we want.
Chapter 10
James wakes me gently, kissing my face.
Where am I?
Then it comes to me. I’m in Berkeley Hall, in James’s bedroom.
“Wake up, gorgeous. Early start today. And you’d better get back over to the cottages.”
“Mmmm.” I smile sleepily at him, and then realisation sets in. “Oh!” I sit up in bed. “What time is it?”
I’m supposed to be packed and ready to leave at 7am.
He smiles. “I’m an early riser, remember. You’ve got plenty of time.”
I’d forgotten he hardly slept.
“What’s wrong?” he adds, catching my expression.
“Oh, nothing,” I say. “It’s just I have to tell Natalie off today.”
“You do?” He raises a curious eyebrow.
“Yeah.” I sigh. “She played a prank on me last night, which was not very nice.”
“Oh really?”
“Really.” I momentarily debate not telling him what Natalie did, since I know it will probably make him mad. But decide that honesty is the best policy.
“She texted me a prank message,” I say. “I was on a country lane at the time, and it scared the life out of me.”
James’s face sets like stone.
Oh no. He looks absol
utely furious.
“You were alone on a country lane?”
Whoops…
“I…” I falter, and then regain my composure. “You told me you were in your studio,” I say. “I found out you weren’t. I was worried. I walked back.”
James still looks angry.
“Seriously,” I press. “I’m not a china doll. Everyone else walked that route to get to the pub. You can’t lock me up in a box, James.”
“No one else on the cast or crew have nearly been killed by a psychopathic stalker,” he says, icily.
Oh no. He really is mad.
“James.” I stare into his eyes, pleading. “You have to accept this. I was totally safe. And besides,” I add, “the creepy cornfield scared the living daylights out of me. I won’t be taking moonlit routes alone again in a hurry.”
This seems to pacify him slightly.
“The creepy cornfield?” There’s a slight smile on his face. “I didn’t know you were afraid of the dark.”
“Neither did I,” I admit. “But in any case. Natalie sent me a text whilst I was walking home. With a lipstick heart.”
James’s eyebrows shoot up.
“She did?”
I nod. “Yes. So now do you see why I have to tell her off?”
James is shaking his head. “I am not happy with Natalie at all for doing that,” he says. His jaw is tight. “I will have words with her, Issy; there’s no reason for you to confront her. You’re one of my actresses, and as such I need to protect you from bad behaviour.”
I shake my head. “I appreciate that James. But this is something I need to do for myself.” I set my jaw determinedly. “Natalie has got away with being a brat for much too long. And no one apart from you has ever stood up to her. I think it’s time someone did.”
“And you want to be that person?” James is looking at me with admiration.
I nod firmly. “I do.”
James lets out a whistle of air from between his teeth. “Well, well, Ms Green,” he says. “You are full of surprises. I have to say, I admire your courage. Very few people would choose to have words with Natalie. I don’t enjoy doing it myself,” he adds, almost as an aside.
A thought strikes me. Can I be absolutely sure it’s Natalie, before I confront her?