by JS Taylor
I let my mind swell over what I would do if I were more in charge of things.
“Places please!” calls Callum, interrupting my thoughts. And I scurry over to my position on set.
I catch James’s eye as we manoeuvre into position. He has a boyish look about him. Like a teenager at his first party.
Callum takes the director’s chair, and I take my place.
In this scene Tom discovers Grace working late. It’s one of their earlier moments together. When Tom begins to respect Grace for her hardworking dedication to news.
I’ve rehearsed how I think this could be. How Grace feels. But I’m fast coming to realise, you never know what’s going to happen when the cameras start rolling.
Even though I have a script, with James Berkeley, everything is like an amazing adventure where anything could twist.
“And! Action!” yells Callum.
The clapper sounds, and then I’m Grace.
Sat at my desk, I’m staring hard into the screen. I need to file this story by tonight. And I’m exhausted. But I want the words to tell it right.
My fingers tap away on the keyboard, and I frown, sigh, and sit back to contemplate.
I feel a warmth at my side, and suddenly, I can smell Tom’s cologne. This is something unexpected, which James has done for filming. He’s exchanged his usual aftershave, taking on a new character right down to the scent.
Grace’s eyebrow raises slightly, and I find myself leaning back, inhaling very slightly.
“Grace.” Tom’s deep voice rolls affectionately.
Affection? From Tom?
I turn in surprise. His eyes are fixed on me. They are considering me intently. I would almost say they are admiring.
Then I realise. This is his newsroom. He likes that I’m working late.
Oh… That makes sense. Tom would feel that way.
This is what it’s like to film with James. He always does something unexpectedly wonderful.
What I love most is the effect on me is unpredictable and fresh. Grace is hard and controlling. But she can’t help but melt just a little under his gaze.
Who would have thought he could load that much into his eyes?
“Working late?” He settles himself on my desk.
Now Grace is back to her old ways. I eye his thigh pointedly. I don’t like my workspace being invaded.
“Yes,” I say flatly. “This story has to be filed.”
“Does it?”
The words on the script are so ordinary. They could be read a million ways, and mean very little. How does James manage to make them sound as though he’s running the words over my naked body?
Grace swallows. She’s heard it too. I turn my eyes up to his, and the exhaustion in them sings out. More than anything, Grace needs to be held. To be taken care of.
“No one else will make sure it’s done.” I let my voice reflect just a little uncertainty more than I’d planned. To work with the unexpected affection in his voice.
Tom leans forward, looking at the computer screen.
“Have you saved that work?” he asks.
That isn’t in the script…
“Of course I have,” I glower. Even though it’s unscripted, I feel Grace’s answer as though it were part of me. She would never work from an unsaved version of a story.
Tom reaches around and turns off the computer. My jaw almost drops open. Hey! I was working on that!
I’m so deep into Grace’s character, that I feel her annoyance as a physical jolt. How dare he turn my computer off like that?
We’re totally off piste now. None of this was written in. But it feels like such a natural part of the drama.
“Then you can finish it tomorrow,” says Tom smoothly.
As Issy, I feel as though James is testing me. Pushing my boundaries. Forcing my acting into new areas.
Grace glares at him furiously.
“I need to finish that story,” I say, carefully enunciating each word so as not to lose any professionalism in my anger.
“No, you don’t,” says Tom. “Why don’t you let me buy you a drink?”
And just like that, I see what James is doing. He’s a genius. He’s forcing me to reveal more of Grace’s character by making her uncertain and angry.
I reach around the computer, hesitating fractionally to show that Grace is out of her comfort zone. Not entirely sure. Then I snap it back on with more certainty.
“Thanks,” I say insincerely. “But I really don’t need you to dictate my hours as well as my stories.”
Tom’s face registers hurt. Then he rallies and shows acceptance. He’s taken the jibe on the chin.
“Don’t work too hard,” he says, returning seamlessly to the original script. But now, he’s made the old words do something brilliant. He’s added a deeper dimension to Grace than was there before.
“I’ll work late and lock up here,” I reply, returning my scripted line.
When I rehearsed these words, they were over-casual. A put-upon employee talking to the boss. Now I say the lines in a muddle of rejection and uncertainty.
They tell Grace’s story so much better this way.
Tom stands and exits the newsroom. I watch him leave. Then, caught in the rush of being Grace, I thump the keyboard with a muted yelp of frustration.
Quickly, I straighten the screen, blink hard, and continue typing.
“Cut!” Callum’s voice echoes across the set. And I twist towards the sound.
I was so deep in character, I feel as though I’ve been woken from a sleep.
I make out Callum’s grinning face.
“Marv-el-ous!” he shouts. “Bloody great!” he adds in a mock British accent. “That was just brilliant. I loved what you both did there. You added so much more to Grace.”
Callum stands, running his hand through his dark hair. “I always thought Grace was cold. But, man. I get it now. Grace has so much bubbling beneath the surface. She just can’t bring herself to let it out.”
I smile at him, feeling proud of myself. That’s exactly how I wanted Grace to be shown. She’s not cold, as she appears. She’s repressed.
“You should thank James,” I say. “He brought that extra aspect. We didn’t plan it.”
James shrugs. “It just came to me,” he says, fixing me with a deep look. “It’s easy to roll with you, Issy. You’re so flexible, it gives you a kind of freedom to create. I know nothing I throw out there will phase you,” he adds.
I’m beaming under the compliment. And hastily look away, realising that we’re staring at each other like lovesick puppies.
Acting with James. It’s really digging deep. I feel as though he’s showing me every part of himself. And I’m loving it.
We shoot until mid afternoon, and even though I enjoy acting, I’m glad when we finally roll to a close. With the early start, it’s felt like a long day.
James vanishes as usual, to carry on working in the editing suite. And I revisit Madison’s advice.
Natalie needs a mother figure.
I turn this around in my mind. What would I do right now, if I were my normal self and not overwhelmed as a new actress on a film set?
I’d arrange a girly shopping trip.
The thought comes to me like magic. Of course. This is exactly the kind of thing I’d do. The first day of drama school, this was what I suggested to bond some of us more nervous new girls. It’s the perfect way to make friends.
My eyes seek out Natalie in the crowd, and I feel a flush of nerves.
Come on, Issy, I admonish myself. You’re only asking her to go shopping. The worst she can do is say no.
Swallowing my resolve, I force my feet to approach Natalie. She’s got her back to me, issuing commands to one of her staff, and I tap her shoulder.
She turns in confusion.
“Hey,” I say, willing myself to add as much warmth as possible. “We’ve got a few hours to kill. There’s a little mall in the studios. I was thinking you, me and Camilla could
hit the shops.”
She hesitates for a moment, looking shocked. Then to my relief, her face breaks open in a wide warm smile. She looks younger, and unsure of herself.
“Sure,” she whispers. Her eyes flick down to the floor, and then back to my face. “I’d really like that,” she says.
“Ok then,” I smile back warmly. “Great.”
Looks like Madison was right. Maybe Natalie just needs someone to show her some real attention. Not just staff catering to her silly whims.
My smile is completely genuine now. I feel as though I’m helping a new girl at school get settled in.
“Um. Ok.” I agree. “I’ll ask Cam if she wants to come.”
Natalie smiles back at me. “Shall we ask Madison too?”
“Yeah, why not?” I say, ever more uncertain about the protocol. Do famous actresses go shopping in groups? I guess they must.
“Great,” says Natalie. “I’ll go get Madison, you find Cam.”
I find Camilla in the milling crowd of crew and propose the idea. And her face lights up. “Oh, that is such a great idea,” she beams. “We should go to London. It’s only a half hour away by car.”
I pause, not sure whether this is a good idea.
Natalie arrives back with Madison, but she is declining politely.
“I’m sorry,” says Madison, “I’d love to go shopping with you girls. But I’m still beat from the flight over.”
“I think we should go to London,” says Camilla, her attention now on Natalie.
“Oh, great!” agrees Natalie, her eyes shining. “I love London.”
I’m still uncertain. A famous actress in London. Is that a good idea?
“Please?” begs Natalie, fixing me with a pleading gaze.
Whoa. This taking control thing is working. Natalie is already treating me like I’m in charge.
I catch Madison’s eye, and she winks at me.
“We’ll be in the studio later getting costumes for the party tonight,” says Camilla. “We should have a break and hit the big city.”
The fancy dress party. I’d completely forgotten.
“We can get a private driver to take us,” says Natalie. “It’ll be a blast.”
London does sound like fun.
“Ok. London it is,” I say, smiling as Natalie and Camilla whoop in delight.
“Would we take your security?” I ask Natalie. “I think you might get mobbed if you’re recognised.”
Natalie laughs and rolls her eyes. “I know right! Usually I’m ok though. You’d be surprised. I just put on a big pair of glasses, and often they never guess.”
Madison looks a little worried. “You will take security though, Natalie? The press are all over London. If they start snapping, all hell will break loose.”
“Yeah, of course.” Natalie waves away the comment, and I get the feeling maybe she wouldn’t mind this.
Oh dear. Is Natalie being difficult again?
“I always have the best with me. They can break a crowd like that,” Natalie snaps her fingers to demonstrate the ease with which her team can bust through a mob.
“If we go,” I decide, “we have to be sure that security is good enough.”
Madison is scanning the studio, and I see her eyes light on Will.
She inclines her head, beckoning him. And catching the gaze, Will strides over to us.
“Can I help you with anything?” he asks. He seems to have turned super polite for Madison’s benefit. A courtesy he certainly never extends to Natalie.
“Can I ask you a favour?” says Madison, her large blue eyes wide.
“Sure.”
“These girls are about to hit the London shops,” says Madison. “I’m sure Natalie’s team is the best, but I’d just feel more comfortable if you were there too. Could I ask you to do a few extra hours? You’d be on my payroll, and I’m happy to give you double your usual rate.”
Will stands a little taller.
“Issy, you going into London too?”
“Yes.” I smile at him.
“Then it would be my pleasure to accompany you.” He holds his hand up to Madison. “Ms Ellis, there really is no need for any extra compensation. Mr Reed is a very generous employer.”
“Call me Madison,” she says. “And thank you. I’ll feel so much better knowing you’re there with them. I’d like to pay you though,” she adds.
Will grows an extra inch. “No need. I’ll take good care of them,” he promises.
Natalie turns to me and Camilla.
“Alright then girls. Ready to hit the shops?”
Chapter 16
As we leave the studio by private car, Natalie leans in.
“Did you get paid today?” she asks.
“I don’t know.” The question surprises me. I actually hadn’t even thought about getting paid for acting. It feels like too much fun. And we’ve only been filming a few weeks.
“You should check,” she says. “I get paid through my agent, so it takes a few days. So you should already have your money.”
I look at her uncertainty. “I haven’t looked at my bank balance since we starting filming,” I admit. Since we’ve been on the Berkeley Studios pay roll, there really is no need. Everything is included.
I take the time to check my bank balance on my phone.
I almost drop the handset in shock. The amount of money registered to my name is more zeros than I have ever seen in my account.
Whoa. Berkeley Studios are generous employers.
There’s enough money for an entire year’s salary.
“Do they pay us our entire wage upfront?” I ask Natalie, staring in amazement at the screen.
Natalie glances over at me. “Probably you’ll get monthly money if you don’t have an agent. I’m not sure how it works with you,” she adds. “I get an upfront fee, and then my agent pays me monthly, because, you know, I can’t be trusted with large payments.” She rolls her eyes. “They give me plenty though,” she adds. “More than enough to crash the shops. But if I see great big cheques, it can make me do stupid stuff.”
Natalie lowers her voice, so only me and Camilla can hear.
“One time, I bought the entire stock of this really expensive bar in LA,” she admits. “Every last bottle. Including seven crates of Champagne and all this estate wine.” She’s nodding at the memory. “Then I brought in, like a half pound of cocaine. We locked the doors and had a four day party.”
Natalie shakes her head. “I threw up for two days straight afterwards and missed a really important casting,” she adds. “Lucky I’m in therapy now.”
She sits back in her seat, blowing a string of hair out of her face with a loud ‘pffff’.
“Must have been some party,” I say, not sure how else to respond. She nods.
I’m enjoying Natalie on this trip. Her unflinching honesty is endearing, and there is no sign of the diva. I silently congratulate myself on seeking Madison’s advice. Maybe all Natalie needed was a little positive attention.
We sit in silence for a time, watching the green fields go past the car windows at high speed. And I suddenly realise this would be a great opportunity to catch up with Lorna. She’s always keen to hit the shops. This would be a good way to meet.
I tug out my phone and dial Lorna’s number, but there’s no reply.
Typical Lorna. She’s probably partying somewhere.
I leave her a message and hope she sees it, but don’t hold out much hope. Once Lorna has gone incommunicado, she can vanish for days.
Natalie is peering out of the window excitedly as Oxford Street slides into view.
“I just love London,” she says. “You guys are so lucky seeing this every day. I go nuts when I start seeing the famous landmarks.”
The car pulls to a halt outside the grand façade of Selfridges. And Natalie gives a little squeak of excitement.
“This is going to be so much fun,” she says, her eyes glowing. “I never get to shop with people my own age.”
I hadn’t thought about that. It must be quite lonely sometimes for a young star. For all of her staff and security, Natalie doesn’t have any actual friends around her.
Will gestures we should stay in the car, so he can get out first. Natalie’s security is in the car behind, so he’s taking no chances.
As Will exits the vehicle, I realise what a true pro he is. He’s scoping out the street. But a passer-by would never guess him to be anything other than an average Londoner, checking his parking spot.
When Will establishes we’re safe to exit the car, he gestures we should exit one at a time.
Natalie’s security pulls up behind, and Will divides us up, so we’re part of the larger group.
“I don’t want you three girls to go in together,” he says. “You’ll draw too much attention. Go through one at a time, and we’ll meet on the other side of the door. In ladies’ fashion. Ok?”
We nod in agreement, and allow ourselves to be lead separately through Selfridges art deco doors.
I’m still wondering how this is going to work, exactly. I have to admit, I’m finding all the subterfuge quite exciting and can tell that Camilla feels the same. Natalie’s face just looks bored. I guess it must wear pretty thin, having to be escorted everywhere public.
I absolutely love going into Selfridges. And often come here with Lorna, just to browse. The store always puts on some amazing new display, and today is no different. Shop designers have constructed huge abstract tree sculptures from smooth slabs of wood. They reach right up to the ceiling and weave into the brand displays.
When I’ve been in Selfridges previously, Lorna has shopped with her model’s bank balance, and I’ve stared longingly on my waitresses’ salary.
But today, I am the slightly nervous recipient of many thousands of pounds in my account. And I decide, for once in my life, I’m going to enjoy a little clothing spree.
I convene with Camilla and Natalie in the ladies’ fashion section and discover that Will has arranged the whole floor to be closed, just for us.
“Seriously?” I ask in wonder, gazing at the deserted department. “We get the entire place to ourselves?”