by L. P. Maxa
Jacks grabbed him by the collar. “Come on, Dags. Come on, buddy.” Dagger reluctantly got up and went into the bus.
Chase came running up to us. “What the hell happened? Oh my God. It was a gunshot we heard, wasn’t it?”
I nodded, still holding onto Lexi with all my might. Forget Dagger, I might freak out when they took her away from me. “Chase, I need you to stay here with Dagger. He’s inside. Clean him up. He’s covered in Jared’s blood. This place is going to be swarming with reporters soon.”
Chase was kneeling down, looking at the destruction around him. “Yeah, man. Whatever you need.”
The sound of the ambulances got louder and louder until it was almost unbearable. Three different sets of paramedics came running, barking orders and questions. Luke was the one in control. He was the one who stepped up and answered them, directed them. “This one shot this one. Then our guard dog attacked him. The girl seems to have been knocked unconscious at some point. She’s about ten weeks pregnant. Everyone has a pulse. Everyone’s breathing. But they’ve all lost some blood.”
Luke was so calm, so controlled. Jacks was sitting with his head in his heads. I was crying silently over Lexi’s still body, my hands resting on our baby. Please God, let them be okay.
***
I didn’t know if the hospital was cold, or if my shaking was from straight fear. Luke, Jacks, and I had been sitting in the sterile waiting room for what felt like days. But looking at my watch I knew it had only been a couple of hours. The cops had come to talk to us. Luke once again had been the only one with enough control to answer any questions. I had never been more grateful for the guy than I was tonight. Jared was going to make it, which pissed me off. I wanted to kill him. He needed an unfathomable amount of stitches. We would all have to testify. Lexi would have to testify. Smith was in surgery. They had to remove the slug. It was a flesh wound, but it was still going to take some time and healing before he could play his bass. We had canceled the next three weeks of our tour. No one had come out to say anything about Lexi. I had the absolute worst thoughts going through my mind. I was terrified she would never wake up. Lexi was…everything. My whole world’s happiness was literally wrapped up in her. I hadn’t been looking for love. I hadn’t been looking for a fairy tale. But I’d found it just the same. I needed her to be okay. I wouldn’t survive without her.
“Mr. Conner?”
There was a woman standing in the door wearing light green scrubs. My heart stopped. “Yes?”
“Your girlfriend? She’s awake and she’s asking for you.” The word girlfriend being used to describe Lexi felt wrong. She was so much more than that to me. The lady waited for me to rise on my shaky legs. “If you’ll just follow me.”
I felt light headed, like I might pass out. The relief that Lexi was awake and talking was over whelming. “Is she okay? The baby? Are you the doctor?”
She glanced over her shoulder. “I’m her nurse. She’s okay, the doctor will go over everything with you.” She stopped next to a closed door. “This is her. The doctor will be in soon.” She left before I could ask her about the baby again.
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I couldn’t go in there looking panicked and scared. I needed to be strong for her. I needed to take a page out of Luke’s book. That man was fucking stoic. I pushed the door open slowly. “Lex?” The lighting in the room was dim; it was still too early in the morning for the sun to be up. Lexi was lying in the middle of the bed, her hair spread out all around her. Her eyes were closed; she looked like Sleeping Beauty. “Lexi?” I took her hand in mine, bringing it up to place a kiss in her palm. The bruises on her neck were still visible. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my rage in check. Her eyes fluttered, then opened.
“Hey, you.” She smiled. She’d been attacked and then almost shot on my watch. And she was smiling up at me. I didn’t deserve her.
“How are you feeling, Kitten?” I kissed her hand again.
“I’m fine. Slight headache. How’s Smith?”
“He’s okay. He was shot in the shoulder. He had surgery to have the bullet removed.”
“And Jared?”
“He’s alive.” I didn’t want to talk about him. I didn’t ever want his name to come across her lips. “Was the doctor here? Did you see him?”
She shook her head and placed her hand on her stomach. “No, the nurse said he’d be in soon. That’s why I sent her to get you. Dash…I’m so sorry.” Her voice broke and so did my heart. “I should have stayed inside. I should have listened. Our baby…I should have listened to you. I’m so sorry.”
“Shhhh. Kitten, it’s not your fault. Shhh…” I placed my forehead against hers. “Nothing about this is your fault.” I kissed her lips gently. “I love you, baby. I was so worried. There was so much blood. I…I love you, Lexi. I love you more than life itself, baby.” I was crying now. Tears were flowing down my cheeks unchecked. No part of me cared. I needed her to see how much she meant to me, I needed her to understand.
We stayed that way, heads together and crying until we heard the door open. A man in a long white lab coat and navy scrubs walked in. “Hello, I’m Dr. Hays. I’m the attending here tonight.”
I straightened but didn’t let go of Lexi’s hand. It seemed that neither one of us could find the words to ask the question we were both thinking. The doctor pulled up a stool and sat down on the other side of Lexi.
“So Lexi here has a slight concussion, no skull fractures or anything like that. She cut her head on something when she fell, but she only needed a few stitches. They’ll dissolve on their own.” He glanced down to the chart in his hand. “We did a sonogram when she came in, the baby looks fine.”
Lexi bowed her head and started to cry again, relief making her body sag in bed. I sat down next to her, kissing her head. “Is there anything that we need to be worried about? Any long term issues from the fall?”
“No, there shouldn’t be. There was no trauma or bruising to her abdomen. She didn’t lose a lot of blood. Blood pressure is perfect. The baby is measuring right on track. Everything looks great.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “Thank you so much. Can I take her home?”
“I’d like to keep her for a few more hours, just for observation. Would you two like to see your baby?”
Lexi squeezed my hand. “Can we? Our first sonogram isn’t for another few days….”
The doctor smiled at her, patting her leg. “Of course you can. I’ll send someone in here in a few minutes. But after that, I want you to try and get some sleep.”
She nodded, smiling, “I will. Thank you.” The doctor walked out, writing in Lexi’s chart. They were both okay. I was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. Lex jiggled my hand getting my attention. “Hey why don’t you go get the guys? That way they can see the baby too.”
I raised my eyebrows in shock. “Really? I thought you wanted it to just be you and me the first time?”
“I did. But, after all this, I think they should be here too.”
I lifted her chin, kissing her mouth softly.
***
I was sitting on the hospital bed next to Lexi. Luke was down at the foot of the bed and Jacks was standing next to him with his cell phone out to record the sonogram for Smith. I leaned down kissing her head for the hundredth time in the past hour while the nurse squirted some green gel on her stomach. It was funny that tonight was the first time I noticed that her belly was no longer flat.
The nurse put the wand on Lexi, pushing slightly. Our baby filled the screen and seconds later its heartbeat filled the room. I’d like to say that I shed a single manly tear and then kissed my girl. Nope. I bawled like a baby—like heaving sobs. Until you see your child, hear their heartbeat for the first time, you don’t know what love is.
Epilogue
Lexi
The band had decided to stay in Alabama for another few weeks. Although Smith and I were cleared to travel, Dash wanted to give us both more time t
o heal. I was okay with that. The house we rented was fully furnished and large enough for all of us to share. It felt so good to be in an actual home. I’d only known hotels and the bus the past couple of months. It even had a big backyard so Dagger could run around. That dog was our hero and he was treated as such 24/7. He got so many kisses and treats. I had let him do his job, let him protect us. Smith and I had a very long heart to heart when he was released from the hospital. I needed him to know in no uncertain terms that nothing about what happened that night was his fault. He was nothing like Jared; he was nothing like his family. He was willing to die for me that night, and I would never forget that. We were all scared that he’d blame himself and turn back to old habits. But the talk had gone well and he seemed okay. Of course, there weren’t any groupies to run to or speed within arm’s reach. Another good thing about being in this house.
At first Jacks had been super sweet and let me eat Oreos and cheeseburgers. But that had only lasted a few days, now he was back to handing out dried fruit and carrot sticks.
Luke was fine…always fine. He told me at least three times a day, “I’m fine, Lex.” I didn’t really believe him, but he’d talk to me when he was ready. You couldn’t push Luke to share. I don’t think he really knew what to do with his emotions about that night. Luke was the strong one. Dash had described him as stoic and I agreed. Luke has always been able to just shut down and do what needed to be done and leave his heart out of it. But it seemed like this time, it was hard for him to pick his heart back up. He was guarded, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I was so in love with my baby, and with Dash. I was so happy, so overjoyed at the life I led. It was hard to put into words. When I thought of how different things could have turned out, so many times—if we’d taken a different path, not overslept, not smelled Jäger—everything that had gone wrong to make everything in my life so right. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t change one thing.
The band was having lunch with their label. The big bosses had flown in this morning. Dash had put the tour on hold without letting anyone know, and there were apparently some things that needed to be ironed out. The silence in the house was nice. I had just closed my eyes to revel in it when there was a knock at the door. That must be Dylan. The PA Dash hired for my appointments was supposed to arrive today. I opened the door and bit my lip to keep from giggling. Dylan was one of the most beautiful girls I’d ever seen. She had long black hair, full and shiny. Her eyes were light blue and the contrast was striking. Couple that with her tiny waist and hella curves, life around here was about to get fun. “Hi! It’s so nice to finally put a face to the name. I’m Lexi, please come in.” I smiled holding the door open wide. She had a rolling suitcase and a duffle bag. The mini sonogram machine had arrived yesterday. There was a study off the living room and that’s where Dash had put it. “How was your flight? Can I get you something to drink?”
Dylan chuckled, “My flight was okay…crowded. And I’d love a bottle of water if you have one.”
“Are you kidding? Bottled water is all these guys will let me drink.” Dylan followed me into the kitchen. I handed her the water and then sat down at the large island. “Thank you so much for agreeing to travel for my appointments.”
“Oh my gosh, no, thank you. I feel like I live at the office. Getting out to see some of the country is a treat.” She placed the cap on her water. “How are you feeling? Any morning sickness? Fatigue?”
I shrugged. “I feel pretty good most days. Maybe a little tired, a little moody. How about you? Tired from the flight? You could take a nap if you want. Or we could watch a movie or go to lunch?”
Dylan laughed again. She had an easy way about her. “I’m okay….”
“I’m sorry. I know I sound like a spaz, but I’m always surrounded by men. It’s been so long since I’ve hung out with another chick.” I slapped my hand over my mouth. “See? I called you a chick. Please pity me.”
***
When the band got home Dylan and I were half way through watching Steel Magnolias. There was a bowl of popcorn balanced between us and we were under a bunch of blankets. It felt so nice to watch a sappy movie with another girl. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it. “We’re in here, babe!”
Dash walked in the room and out of the corner of my eye I saw Dylan’s mouth drop open. I smiled to myself. Yup, he’s gorgeous. “Hey, Kitten, who’s your friend?” He leaned in and kissed me, winking.
“Dash, this is Dylan, our PA. Dylan this is Dash, our baby daddy.”
Dash reached over and shook Dylan’s outstretched hand. He was smirking. I knew why. “So you’re Dylan. This is going to be fun….”
Dylan’s smile fell and she took her hand out of Dash’s grip. I snorted. “I’m sorry, he didn’t mean that in the pervy way it came out. What he meant was that you are so damn pretty and well, there are three very single and constantly horny men that will be falling all over themselves as soon as they see you.”
Dylan looked from me to Dash and back again. “Um…I don’t really know what to say to that. I’m here in a professional capacity, not to hook up with some sex crazed rock gods.”
I started to giggle. “Oh honey, aren’t we all?”
Dash poked me in the ribs before pulling me to my feet. “Come on, preggo. We brought some food home.” He tucked me against his side, “Dylan, are you hungry? We have plenty and I’m sure the guys would love to meet you.”
She looked uncertain. Great, we’d scared my new friend. “Dylan, I understand that you are here for work. And I promise as soon as we eat, we can get to my appointment. I’m sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable.” I had basically forced her to hang out with me, and now Dash sounded like she was going to be part of some twisted fantasy island hunger games.
The island in the kitchen was loaded down with barbecue. It smelled so freaking delicious. When we walked in I held back and let Dylan walk in front of me. I wanted to see the guys’ reaction when they saw her; Jacks dropped his fork mid-bite, Luke spilled tea down the front of his shirt, and Smith tripped over a barstool. Priceless. “Guys, this is Dylan, she’s going to be helping with my OB appointments. Dylan, this is the rest of the band. Luke is the one cleaning his shirt, Jacks is the one with sauce on his face, and Smith is the one who probably has a bruise on his shin.” I peeked over at Dylan. She was smiling, despite herself I’m sure.
After everyone had eaten, and all the guys had flirted mercilessly with Dylan, we headed into the study for my appointment. Dylan turned on the machine and started turning knobs and pushing buttons. I lay down, pulled up my shirt and pushed down my pants. My belly was just barely rounded. Dylan froze with the gel above my belly. “Is everyone staying?”
I sighed, “Yes. It’s just easier this way.” If I kicked everyone out then I’d have to see their sad puppy dog eyes all day.
“Okay. Well, let’s see that baby.” She placed the warm gel on my stomach and then pressed down with the wand.
The sounds of the baby’s heartbeat immediately filled the air. Dash squeezed my hand. Hearing that strong steady beat brought such a sense of relief. I was always slightly terrified that we wouldn’t hear it. First time mom nerves, I guess.
“Everything looks great here, Lexi. Heartbeat is good. The baby is moving around all over the place.” She pressed some buttons and printed out a couple of pictures. “Your blood pressure is good. Your weight is good. You two are the picture of health.” She wiped the gel off my stomach and I sat up. “Now, do you have any questions? Any concerns?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Smith beat me to it. “I feel like her energy level is way down. I can’t get her out of bed most mornings to do our yoga.”
Dylan’s eyebrows rose past her hairline. She glanced at me. I rolled my eyes. Before she could answer Smith, Jacks started in, “And she could definitely eat better if you ask me.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Good thing no one asked you then.”
Luke leaned forward in
his chair. “I think she’s having too much sex.”
Oh good Lord. “Luke, that really isn’t—”
“She cramped up really bad the other night. Is that normal? I googled it but—”
Dash cut Luke off mid-sentence. “What? When did you get cramps? Why didn’t you tell me? Why does Luke know?”
I put my hand on Dash’s chest. “You fell asleep. I got a cramp. I went to the kitchen to get some water. Luke was on the couch watching a movie. I had to lie down for a few minutes. He asked. It was no big deal. It didn’t last long at all.”
Dash ran his hands down his face. “Lex. You need to tell me these things.” He stood up and started to pace. Huge over reaction if you ask me. “I think we should get a full time nurse. Dylan, would you be willing to do that?”
I threw my hands in the air. “You are being ridiculous. It was one cramp! After sex, one time. It hasn’t happened again and—”
Dash turned to Dylan, ignoring me. “We’ll pay you ungodly amount of money. All your travel expenses, meals, everything.”
“Dash! Stop offering people ‘ungodly’ amounts of money so they’ll do what you want!”
“Why? It worked with you.” He winked at me.
I opened my mouth to protest, but all the guys started talking at once. It was hard to decipher exactly what was being said. I heard things like dangerous penis, gestational diabetes, and hypnobirthing. I just leaned back and closed my eyes. I didn’t have the energy or the desire to deal with this right now. I wanted a cookie and a nap.
Suddenly a shrill whistle pierced the air causing everyone to quiet. I peeked through one eye. Dylan was standing with her hands on her hips. “That’s enough! You four are fucking insane. Last time I checked, which was three minutes ago, there is only one baby in there. Which means there is only one daddy. While I’m sure you all love Lexi and that kid, you are being ridiculous. She is healthy, she eats well, and the fact that she does yoga at all is wonderful. She’s doing a great job. Now leave her the hell alone.”