Something almost self-destructive made her ask. “Who are you trying to save, Joe?”
He flinched, his hands dropping from her shoulders. Stepped back. Ran both hands through his hair. He went to walk one way, was stopped by the thick foliage, then went the other.
It was her turn to grip his shoulders. She manoeuvred him to the side of the path and gestured to the men behind to walk past them. What she wanted to talk to him about was private.
The men walked silently past. The man at the end, holding a crossbow, arrow mounted and fingers ready to pluck the string that would let it fly, said. “We won’t be too far away. Call if you’re in danger.”
She nodded her thanks, grateful that they seemed to understand her need for privacy. By the time they’d passed, Jo’Aquin had regained control, something she didn’t want to see. He needed to get it out. Maybe telling someone who wouldn’t take the information anywhere would give him the permission to unload.
“We will walk,” Jo’Aquin said.
She pressed her palm against his chest and stop him from walking past. “No way, buddy. You've got something you need to tell me.”
“It is of little relevance to this mission,” he said, his face stony.
“Is it your wife?” she blurted. There, she’d said it. She winced, readying herself for complete and utter humiliation.
“What are you talking about?” He looked so genuinely confused that she had to guess he didn’t have a wife. God, that meant he really had rejected her.
“Don’t worry about that. Just tell me straight up, Joe. I’m in a unique position right now. I could stop a Reptile invasion of Earth, so if this mission is going to be compromised with the information you’re holding on to, I’m going to insist you tell me now. I’m not going to lose my life because you have a secret.”
The muscle worked at his temple again. “It is not that type of secret.”
“Well, what is it then?” She realised her palm was still on his chest. Heat bloomed through his clothing and into her skin. She circled her fingertips, relishing the feel of his clothing sliding over skin. His eyes dropped to her finger, but he remained silent.
She sighed, softening. “I’ve seen a lot of people heading to their death, Joe. It makes a difference. I’ve seen people hold onto their secrets until the end moments, and I’ve seen the peace on those people’s faces when they release their secrets. I’m not going to think any less of you. I need your mind on this mission, not on something we can’t do anything about at the moment. I need you to tell me what’s eating you up. Especially if it can save worlds.” And especially if it’s the last thing I can do to help you, least of all alleviate the guilt over how I treated you.
“Gods, Lauren.” His hair spiked in all directions as he ran his fingers through the thick, black strands. Twice. She knew the moment when he decided to tell her. His shoulders dropped, and he looked at her in such pain she nearly cried out with it. “It was years ago, but I’ve never given up hope.”
“The Reptiles abducted a person close to you,” she said. She knew it had to be something like that. Only something like that could take a person like him to his knees.
He released a long, slow sigh. Unhappiness emanated from him in waves. “My sister. My little sister. I was asked by my parents to look after her on a night they went out together.”
Lauren closed her eyes momentarily, sensing what he was going to tell her. She kept her gaze trained on his, letting him know that she was listening to him, was ready to share his pain even though her own heart was breaking.
“I was her older brother. I was meant to be responsible. I was the warrior in training. They came for her. A girl. An innocent. I heard her scream, but I was too late. They invaded our home and took her from her bed. The one place she should have been safe. I should have stopped them. They should have taken me instead of her.” His words were raw. So sad.
Lauren couldn’t help herself. She uttered a sound of distress and wrapped her arms around him. Slowly his arms came around her shoulders, and he pressed her body into his.
“How old were you when this happened?”
“I was fourteen. She was only ten.”
Lauren bit her lip to stop her from crying out. She could imagine the teenage Jo’Aquin, training to be a Star Fleet Commander, taking the safety of his little sister seriously, all to have their home invaded by that scum. Watching as his sister was taken away from him with no way to get her back.
She looked up at him, tears blurring her vision. “You were only a child yourself.”
He reached to lift a tear from the corner of her eye. “It doesn’t matter. I should have protected her. At the least, have them take me instead of her.”
“And you’ve done all you can since then to rescue her.” It made sense. He’d sacrificed his life to save her, a person he didn’t know from a planet he was trying to protect. She could have been anyone. He didn’t owe her anything. Certainly not the risk he’d taken to try to stop her abduction, no matter what chance it gave them.
“There had to be something I could have done. There’s no telling what happened to her. What they did to her…torture…implants…mind slavery…”
His voice trailed off. In his mind, he’d gone back to that night, back to that place he mentally beat himself up in for years. By now, it would be an automatic replay of him telling himself how badly he failed. She pressed her palms to the sides of his face. “It’s not your fault, Joe.”
He frowned. “Of course it is. I was there.”
“It was a complete chance they went into her bedroom instead of yours. You were a child yourself, only a few years older than your sister. What did you really think you could have done? Were you as large as you are now? Did you possess super strength or fighting skills that could have helped her?”
“I could have done…something.”
“What then? You tell me, as the Commander of a Starship talking to a fourteen-year-old adolescent in that same situation. Tell that boy what he should do to fight off Reptile in his house when he’s scared out of his wits himself. That he has to watch the helpless abduction of his little sister who he adores and he’s so scared for his own life. Tell me what a boy in that situation could do.”
His frown deepened. A war of emotion crossed his face. He didn’t speak, but she could tell he was listening. That was a good thing. The last thing she could do in her life would be to help end this never-ending loop of self-torture. He was so honourable, and it was driving him mad.
“There’s nothing that boy could do. Nothing at all. It wasn’t your fault your sister was taken, Joe. It wasn’t. Your. Fault.”
“And how do you know that? How could you really know for sure? You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me,” His voice was low, husky, filled to the brim with a turmoil of emotion.
She stared up at him. Saw the need for damnation, to be proven right, as well as a spark of hope. “Because…” That spark was what she clung to. She licked her lips, needing to fill that hole that was slowly suffocating him. “Because…” If it was the last thing she did, she wanted him to understand himself the way she saw him. He might be an alien, but he was also a man who had condemned himself over an event he didn’t have any control over. “Because…” She didn’t want to fill him with any false platitudes, so she wasn’t even going to try. One thing that happened when death stared you in the face, it cut to the quick fast. She grabbed his upper arms, as though anchoring them both in place. “Because you saved me. A stranger. An alien to you. You put your life in danger without a second glance. Not everyone does that, Joe. In fact, you’re the first person I’ve ever met that has done that. You think I don’t know you, yet in the few short days I’ve met you, you have been so consistently brave. So honourable. So noble in everything you say and do. Even when you think you’re going to die, you’re still the same. You don’t cower in fright. You don’t run in the opposite direction. You are not a coward. Or any other bad thing I know you’
ve told yourself over the years. How do I know that? Because it’s so goddam different to anything else I’ve seen in anyone ever, that you couldn’t possibly be any other way, Joe. You’re not wired that way at all, and I don’t think you’ve ever been anything different since the day you were born.”
A light entered the depth of his eyes, and the emotions subtly changed. He cupped her chin and the next thing she knew, his mouth fastened on hers in a brutal kiss.
17
H is kiss was desperate. Gone was the man who held himself in check. Gone was the Commander of a Starship. Gone was any pretence. This was raw. This was a kiss from the direct source of an open wound.
He slashed his tongue into her mouth, sweeping inside as though he had every right to be there, lashing his tongue against hers with such commanding strokes it cracked right through her defences. That was if she had any left after the glimpse she’d had of the worthy man he was. She was helpless but to be caught in the storm of his kiss.
And God help her, she loved it.
He made love to her mouth the way she wanted him to make love to her body. With a groan, she wound her arms around his neck. An arm banded around her waist, crushing her against him. The other plunged into her hair, holding her head in place while he worked her mouth. A small moan had him jerking back. “I don’t believe you.”
She could only shake her head in shock, her mind grappling with his statement.
“It doesn’t matter how old I was. I was older. In my culture, I was a man. She was small. Fragile. A child. Female. To be protected.”
“You can’t really think that.” She didn’t recognise her husky voice.
“What would you think of me if I did this to you?” With a snarl, he picked her up as though she was weightless. Her feet dangled in the air as he walked off the path. She gasped when the smooth bark of a tree planked her back. He grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head, locking her in place with the tilt of his hips in the heat between her legs. She locked her ankles around his waist, totally aware of how open she was to him in the most intimate of ways. He towered over her, all male muscle and power. She groaned with the intimate touch, sensation streaking through her body.
His lips hovered tantalisingly close, mere millimetres away, “What if a male had you helpless, just like this. You can’t move. You can’t defend yourself. Your body is a lot smaller. A lot weaker. I can do whatever I want to you, while you’re impaled against this tree.”
She barely found words beyond the overwhelming need to have him kiss her again. “But you won’t do it, Joe. You’re a good man. I know it. I can see it in everything you say and do,” she gasped.
He pressed his hips into her softness. She sucked in a sharp breath as the hardness of his erection slid along her slit, their clothing adding to the sensation. She whimpered.
“Are you so sure, Lauren?”
“I’m a hundred percent positive.” She didn’t struggle, just looked at him, panting for breath as he pressed his body against hers. He still wasn’t ready to listen to anyone with sense, so she spoke in a language she’d hoped might get through. “If you were going to use your strength against me, you wouldn’t allow me to do this.”
She slid her mouth over his, their lips still wet with their previous kiss, before gently sucking. She traced the seam of his lips with her tongue, willing him to open his mouth.
She didn’t think it would work, when he was as solid and unmovable as the tree against her back, but then his lips softened, and her world tilted on its axis. She couldn’t resist the urge to slide her tongue into his parted lips as he opened them. She swept her tongue into his mouth, just as he’d done to her. Their tongues danced, tangled and she was lost.
Desire raced through her body, igniting a need she hadn’t known she’d possessed. She wanted him like she’d wanted no man before. She crushed her breasts against his chest, burning with fire in her blood.
He jerked back, breathing hard. They both were. “You’re playing with fire.”
“You would have done anything you could to save her. You’re still trying now.”
He uttered a groan so low and long, and pain filled she almost didn’t think it came from him. He shook his head. She opened her mouth to speak but was held mute with the uncompromising gleam in his eyes.
He grabbed her knees, widening her legs and undulated his hips, slowly up and down. A jolt of white-hot desire raced through her. The back of her head hit the tree, and she closed her eyes as pleasure built. She angled her hips forward, frantically trying to rub that small part of her against the hardness of his erection.
“What do you think of me now, Lauren?”
She couldn’t answer. His mouth crashed down on hers, tongue thrusting as he rocked against her. The pressure was right where she needed it, dark and sensual, pressure building.
Yes. Yes, yes, yessssss.
Just like that. She needed this like she needed air to breathe and food to eat. She needed this like she’d never needed anything before in her life. Burning need coiled, wild and unfettered. She wasn’t in control as she gyrated against his entrapped erection.
His other hand left her wrist. Sliding his hand down her body to come between them. His fingers slipped beneath the waist of her pants, seeking and finding that hot core that needed so much attention.
She uttered a wordless noise deep in her throat as his fingers dove through her outer lips, slick with her need. “Would an honourable man do this?”
He plunged a finger into her core. Deep. Withdrew and then inserted two. She tilted her hips, widening her thighs so he could touch her more easily. In and out his fingers moved, bringing that tightly packed coil into something ready to spring.
His thumb found her clit, circled the little bud, causing exquisite pleasure to burst through her body. She opened her mouth to scream as her body started to explode. His mouth crashed over hers, swallowing her scream. He didn’t just kiss her. He claimed. He branded.
Her body locked, stiff in his arms as she rode the wave of intensity. Oh god, it felt so good. So good.
Finally, her body sagged, loose with spent pleasure. She rested her cheek against his chest, listening to the hard hammering in his chest. She never thought an orgasm could have so much pleasure. That a release would leave her like a rag doll.
His head lolled forward, his nose pressing into the tender spot between her neck and shoulder, his breathing rapid and shaking. He moved his head, pressed his lips to her sweaty forehead. The soft pressure of mouth stayed there before he pressed her head to his chest.
Finally, she was able to speak. She had her answer. If she didn’t know before, she had the evidence of it now. “Yes, Joe. Whatever you think of yourself, you are an honourable man.”
Before he could reply, the foliage behind him rustled and someone moved through the leaves. He lowered her legs and held her as she found her balance. It took her a moment to find it, as shaky as she was.
He turned, putting his body between her and whatever came their way. She peeked over his shoulder. It was one of Robin Hood's band of merry men, looking not too merry. She guessed they had been away for quite some time.
“I heard a noise,” the man said.
“It is nothing. We’re coming shortly,” he said.
“Time is of the essence.” The man turned back. Joe took her hand, spearing her with a deep, unreadable gaze. She locked onto it, keeping it steady. He had to know what she felt about him, he had to believe her when she said he was decent and moral and everything she knew him to be. She could only hope she might put a crack in that armour before she died.
* * *
H e shouldn’t have to tell himself that that , should never have happened. He wasn’t a youth fighting urges, he was a man well into his prime. He had more control over his actions. He’d actually come to the now obviously mistaken conclusion that he was too old for them.
Just not when it came to her, it seemed.
He followed Lauren as they walked t
hrough the thick vegetation that incessantly wanted to tangle them in leaves large enough to wrap half his body in. He reached over her shoulder, holding up a heavy branch out of her way. She glanced over her shoulder, smiling her thanks. His gaze dropped to her moist, plump, very kissable lips and his groin tightened and pulsed.
Now that he’d had a taste of her, he wanted more. Needed more like he needed air. One taste was not enough. He wanted it all. Everything she could give. And more. He’d take it like the ruthless bastard he was.
However, that had been explosive. He hadn’t controlled urges, it was true, but with Lauren as responsive as a Cellikad , he’d not held back. He’d been unable to deny his desire as much as she.
That a woman like her was even attracted to a man like him, was hard enough to grasp. That she’d let him make love to her like that, to allow him to touch her in such an intimate manner was humbling. When she’d shattered around his fingers was breath-taking.
Her head thrown back, eyes half closed, mouth loose, uttering those delectable little sounds she didn’t even know she made. She was exquisitely beautiful.
Too beautiful to be faced with her fate.
He should have been able to return her to her life without a blip on her radar. It had been his duty. That he was failing Lauren, just like he had Emile wasn’t lost on him.
Lauren had the misconception that he was an honourable man. He mentally snorted. He wouldn’t have brought her to the brink with the other men within hearing distance if he was. He should have ensured total privacy when she gave him such a great gift.
JoAquin: An Alien Abduction Paranormal Romance (A Hexonian Alien Abduction Romance Book 1) Page 11