by Susan Sands
“You’re so beautiful, Cammie. I’ve missed you—”
A car horn blared twice, causing Cammie to jump. Grey could cheerfully have shot whoever had interrupted them.
“Cammie, is that you out there? Yoo-hoo! You ready to head out? Ben says the bus is leavin,’ Emma called from the corner of the building.
Cammie pulled away, seeming to gather her wits, “I’ll be there in a sec.”
“Grey, we can’t—” she straightened her clothing, while not meeting his eyes.
“This wasn’t a mistake, Cammie,” he said, and blew out a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t know what this was, Grey. I have to go now.”
He called after her, “Cammie—”
He was certain she’d heard him but pretended not to.
Chapter Eight
‡
Cammie’s head hurt. It was from beer. She hardly ever drank alcohol, like almost never. Making her way downstairs in her jammies, toward the pain relievers in the kitchen, she thought she heard a car door slam outside. Now wasn’t the time for company. Nobody else was here except Mom, who was upstairs tucked in and not especially mobile yet.
Cammie decided to ignore the sounds and head straight toward pain relief.
But just as soon as she’d swallowed the pills, the doorbell rang. “Crap.” She’d have to answer it in her pajamas. There weren’t indecent, only very pajama-ish.
It was Grey. He was standing outside all clean and shaven, looking for all the world as if nothing untoward had gone down between them last night.
Right.
“Good morning,” he said. He almost chirped.
“It’s Saturday. Are you working here today?” She asked, her tone grudging, really hoping he wasn’t planning to be underfoot.
“Nope. I’m here to see you.” That didn’t tell her much.
“Was I expecting you?” She asked. Her hair must look like vermin had crawled up and nested, and the remains of Emma’s good work had been rearranged on her face during sleep and now she likely resembled a Picasso canvas.
“It’s ten o’clock. I assumed you’d be up and dressed.” He appeared amused at her really awful appearance. Amused, and something else. She could tell by his expression that he was remembering what’d happened between them last night. It was like a little seductive secret, but it wasn’t a secret. Her sisters and brother had seen what they’d been up to. Or at least gotten the gist of it.
“I’m up. But I don’t have any events until later in the evening, so I haven’t dressed yet.” She fought the very intense urge to dash upstairs and lock her bedroom door. The memories and sensations he’d triggered in both her body and emotions last night began rushing back as he continued to stare at her with such a knowing gleam.
“Would you like to go out to brunch with me?”
Wait, what? Did he think they were dating now because they’d made out?
Cammie looked down at her dishabille, glanced back up at him, and raised a brow. She really was in a crabby mood this morning. And she hadn’t slept well after drinking and trying not to think about what had happened between them last night.
“Are you worried about what people might say?” He threw out the challenge.
“I’ve been talked about so much, it’s a service I do by putting myself out there for the entertainment of others. If you and I went out and had a meal in public, it would simply confirm the latest rumors. They already think you’re shacking up here and using working on the house as an excuse; at least that’s what I’ve heard is going around. It’s likely you’ve been sneaking through the back gate every night under the cover of darkness.”
A full, rich rumble of laughter burst from his chest. “I really hadn’t thought of it.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “But what a great idea.”
“I can’t go out with you this morning. I’m planning to hang upstairs with Mom. We’re going to watch a Gunsmoke marathon in about half an hour.”
“I was hoping we could talk—about what happened last night.” Grey captured her hand in his.
It was all Cammie could do not to snatch it away and run screaming from the room. Literally. She took a deep breath. His hand was warm and strong. “Last night was a mistake. We got carried away.”
“I’ve been waiting ten years to kiss you like that again. It was awesome, for both of us, and you can’t lie to yourself or me about that. I won’t believe you.” The urgency in his words forced her to look at him. Big mistake. How could she say she hadn’t felt something? He was right. It would be a big fat whopper.
But there couldn’t be anything more than a steaming hot kiss between them now. It was impossible. “Grey, I won’t deny that there’s still chemistry between us—”
He reached for her other hand and pulled her toward him, surprising her. “Chemistry? How about emotion? Heat? Passion? Are you so angry and out of touch with your feelings that you can’t recognize what happened between us as so much more than a chemical attraction?” He let her go and turned away, running a hand through his hair, an outward sign of frustration. “You felt what I did last night.”
“Grey, I’m engaged—”
He turned around and took a step toward her. “So you keep reminding me, Cammie. But so far, I haven’t seen evidence of any huge emotional commitment to your boyfriend since you’ve been back here. What I have noticed is our dancing around one another trying to avoid the obvious.”
“What obvious?” She really shouldn’t ask, but the question was out.
“Us. We’re not over. Yeah, I screwed us up when I married Deb, but here we are right now, together by whatever bizarre circumstances, and we’re still connected, whether or not you want to admit it.”
She tried to back away, shaking her head.
“We owe it to one another to find out what this could be.”
She recoiled. “N-no, Grey. I can’t.” She could barely breathe. “I can’t ever do that again with you. It’s taken this long for me to be able to come back here and feel normal, and I’m not even that. Not really. And now you want me to throw away my solid future with someone who I know will make me happy to take another shot at it with you? Have you lost your mind?”
He really must have lost his mind; that was the only explanation for this conversation. The crazy hot kiss could be explained by physical desire. His suggesting they actually reconnect emotionally and work toward some sort of relationship went beyond the bounds of reality.
She stared at him, unspeaking. She could feel the pull pulsing between them right now, and it scared her to death. She was out of her mind to even listen to this, but, what if—no. She clamped down on that spark or hope. No not hope. Was she in some kind of alternate reality twilight zone?
“I get it. I do,” he said. “But I can’t watch you walk away again,” he whispered.
“Me? Like I had a choice?”
“Cammie you never answered my…”
She held out her hand to ward him off, and the other one pressed hard against her mouth to hold something back, a scream, a sob, a kiss. She didn’t know.
“Don’t say anything,” she finally spoke after what seemed like a forever amount of screaming tension.
“Please, Cammie. Tell me you don’t think of me as that awful person anymore. We’ve both grown up and I’ve paid dearly for wrong choices within my own life. I’d like the chance to repair some of the damage those choices did to you. Think about it. That’s all I ask.” He turned away and walked out the door.
*
Maureen had received another note. It read: I would like to see you. I’ll be in touch. My heart. Really, who was she supposed to tell? Did he think she would have a conversation with her family and let them know who he was? My heart? Really? That was a little dramatic considering how many years ago he’d left her at the altar, alone and pregnant.
In the meantime she’d done her research and figured out a few things: He’d entered the military academy almost immediatel
y after leaving her. His parents had been killed in an automobile accident shortly after she’d married Justin Laroux. Howard had been severely wounded after his plane was shot down and was taken prisoner in Vietnam while flying a mission against the Viet Cong. He’d dropped off the radar after that.
The misery he’d endured after leaving her must have been staggering. He’d been extremely close with his parents. What a blow. They’d been foul to her, believing her socially beneath Howard’s family, white trash. But this information didn’t supply the answer to a question that still burned. Why had he abandoned her on their wedding day?
Her anxiety had risen hugely when she’d received that note. It had come in the mail with her name and address, written in bold, block letters, with no return address, and thankfully been delivered by Rose along with the other mail. The envelope had been white and nondescript so as not to raise any red flags, she supposed.
There’d been no phone number or contact information on the note. So, she’d have to wait until he was ready to show himself. This was all very mysterious, and if she’d admit it to herself, exciting for an old woman. But hurting her family was not on the table as far as Maureen was concerned. It was a tricky situation. He didn’t know he had a daughter, but just might find out if he caught sight of Maeve and her blue eyes—his own eyes.
This was the sort of thing that tore families apart.
*
Cammie hadn’t spoken with Jason in several days, and she wasn’t sure whether it was her fault or his. Something didn’t feel quite right lately. Of course, she now had to admit that plastering herself against Grey like a wanton woman on the cover of a romance novel wasn’t exactly the behavior of a model fiancé. But an awkward sensation in the pit of her stomach made her question if the physical separation from Jason and their recent lack of communication was not just one-sided.
The estrangement of both time and distance blurred feelings that had seemed so certain and strong when she’d set out on her journey to Alabama. She dialed Jason’s number now, wanting to reconnect with some of the emotion she’d felt only weeks ago. Her need to speak with him might have stemmed from Cammie’s heavy burden of guilt that currently weighed like a giant boulder sitting on her shoulders. Her call went straight to his voicemail. She left a message.
Emotions in a tangle from the events of the past few days, she climbed the stairs to her mother’s bedroom, carrying her breakfast tray. They’d spent time watching television together Saturday before the events that evening, the morning after her night out with the siblings. But Cammie hadn’t confided all the conflicting emotions she’d been experiencing with Grey lately. Her mother, while on the mend, had seemed distracted and anxious. It was an unusual blend of qualities. Historically, Mom had been a steel magnolia of the most unflappable kind. For her to seem flustered was, well, unnerving for Cammie.
“Hello, darling,” Mom said as Cammie entered the bedroom. She was sitting up with her laptop on her lap.
“How are you feeling this morning?” Cammie asked.
“A little sore, but nothing unusual about that.” Her smile was bright, but again, Cammie noticed an edge of anxiety.
“Mom, is everything alright? You’ve seemed a little edgy since you’ve been home from the hospital.”
Her mother’s brows raised in innocence. “Why no, honey, everything’s fine. What could possibly be wrong? Well, besides this darn house business, but Grey’s got that handled for us, doesn’t he?” She smiled radiantly, as if she had no cares in the world.
Before Cammie could make another comment, they were interrupted by female voices and footfalls on the stairs. Sounded like sisters to her.
The door burst open and Emma, followed closely by Maeve entered the room. “Hey Momma, how’re you feeling this morning? Hey, Cammie.” Emma wasn’t the quiet type, and wouldn’t ever get away with sneaking around, that was for sure.
“Hi, girls,” her mother beamed at them all.
Emma winked slyly at Cammie and plopped down on the bed. “Momma, did Cammie tell you about her and Grey the other night?”
Cammie simultaneously was torn between the urge to tear her sister’s hair out and dive under the bed in horror and shame. “Emma! Omigod, what would possess you to say such a thing?”
“We saw you licking his face off, you know.” Emma’s satisfied grin was so maddening that Cammie had to control the urge to rip her false eyelashes off, or maybe they weren’t fake, but at the moment, she’d rip the real ones off if she could.
Instead, she took a deep, cleansing breath and said, “It was dark. You didn’t see anything.” That was her story, and she was sticking to it.
“Ha. There were lights shining behind the two of you, and believe me, not an inch separated any part of your bodies,” Maeve said, grabbing Emma in a great big bear hug and squishing her sister against her while Emma squealed and giggled.
“The two of you are gross.”
“We had to honk three times so you would hear us,” Emma agreed.
“Sounds like quite an evening.” Mom’s eyes were wide.
“Don’t listen to them. It was nothing.”
“I want some of that nothing.” Emma made kissing noises like a child.
“Shut up.”
“Now, girls.” Their mother stifled her laugh, so as not to encourage the ribbing.
“Makes you wonder what might have happened if we hadn’t shown up when we did,” Emma said.
“You are all sworn to secrecy. I haven’t told Jason details about Grey, and I certainly haven’t told him that Grey’s here working on the house or that we’ve, uh, had any contact.”
Emma snorted and looked between them, then giggled. “Contact. That’s a new one. I think I’ll use it next time I refer to hot makey-outey.”
“But you’re still going to marry Jason, aren’t you?” Maeve asked, as if that should suddenly put everything into complete perfect perspective.
Cammie was at a loss. Of course she was. Wasn’t she? “I’m engaged. That means we’re getting married.”
“You don’t have to just because you said you would. I mean, it’s not too late to rethink this decision if it’s not the right one,” Maeve said.
Her mother, who had been watching and listening without comment, chimed in. “You know she’s right, Cammie, dear. The time is now to raise any questions or voice doubts, not after you’re married.”
The way she’d said that had all three daughters swiveling their heads around toward their mother, who only shrugged. “What? I’m not talking about me; I’m pointing this out to Cammie. Marriage is forever, you know.”
“Did you have doubts after you married Daddy?” Maeve asked.
“After I married your father, I knew I’d made the best decision of my life,” she smiled a watery smile that left none of them questioning her statement.
Their gazes all turned back to Cammie, as if to ask her the burning question.
“It was a kiss. That’s all.” Cammie defended.
They collectively hmmphed their disbelief, even Mom.
“We really thought you were done with Grey, and that nothing could’ve sparked up between the two of you again. But after what we saw the other night—” Maeve said.
“Yeah, it was hawt.” Emma fanned her face. Another collective nod between the sisters.
“We were kids. He married my best friend. That part of my life ended ten years ago.” Cammie was nearly yelling.
“She’s over-protesting.” They looked like a bunch of bobbleheads, damn them.
*
Everyone in the room dissolved into fits of hysteria. Everyone that was, except Cammie.
“Might want to get up and take a shower before he arrives in the morning.” her mother said.
“Mom! You, too?” Was her mother matchmaking? But Mom only smiled. The others giggled.
*
They’d not had a conversation since he’d implored her to think about the two of them the other day. In fact, it was all she’
d been thinking about.
“I’ll be making quite a lot of noise today, some inside, but mostly outside and wanted to let you know,” Grey said, as he carried his equipment down the hallway, then set down a couple of power saws or something of the sort.
“Oh? What are you doing with those?” She asked, trying not to get close enough to him that she noticed things. Things like how good he smelled, or how the t-shirt he wore stretched over the very muscled torso, which led to the jeans that covered, well, she really didn’t want to think about that. She’d been pressed up hard against all that the other night and really couldn’t go there right now.
“Shoring up the floor here in the library. I’ve been working on the supports underneath, but the floor is sagging. I’ll be working outside for the next few days, pouring concrete under a couple areas of the foundation with a small work crew. So, you might see a few extra guys around.”
“Oh. Okay. Whatever you have to do to get things handled.”
“We’re going to have to replace the hardwoods in there, I’m sorry to say. There’s water damage as well, so all the flooring will have to go.”
That didn’t sound good at all. “Was that expected?”
He nodded, a sympathetic expression in place. “It was one of the things that alerted your mother to some of the problems in the first place.”
This was ridiculous, her reaction to him. She was having a difficult time keeping her breathing even, and her heart rate had escalated to what must be a dangerous level. So, she must sound like she was near panting.
“Are you alright?”
A flush stole over her cheeks. “I’m fine. Just in the middle of getting some things done for my mother.” But she didn’t move or look away, only continued to stare.
He grinned, knowingly. “Don’t let me get in your way.”
She wanted to climb him. Climb right up his gorgeous body and wrap her legs around his waist. Wonder what he’d do then. Whoa, girl.
He’d moved closer now, until they were toe-to-toe and nose-to-nose, because her thoughts must have been communicated to him through the hot gaze she couldn’t break free from. “Cammie.”