by Susan Sands
“As a somewhat innocent victim, really. Which is pretty accurate, all told.”
He exhaled deeply. If Samantha no longer blamed Cammie for her mother’s unhappiness or him for not loving her mother because of his feelings for Cammie, then all of this might potentially work itself out. If only he could persuade Cammie that she really belonged in Alabama.
*
“Cammie, we’re willing to run the show five days, twice a day, during the week. You’ll have the primo time slot and the most amazing Southern farmhouse kitchen set. We’ll incorporate your own brand with cookware, a web presence, and all the fanfare appearances you approve. We’re even discussing a future site for a restaurant. Of course that would be your personal endeavor, and the network would support it a hundred percent.”
They’d offered her the moon, the stars, and beyond. It was more than Cammie would’ve imagined. Jessica Green was bound to hate her even more. The public feedback the network had received was overwhelmingly favorable towards her. No contracts had been signed yet, but between the two executive producers and a network vice president, they’d given Cammie the hard sell. She’d been booked overnight into the Ritz-Carlton in Manhattan in a suite, and had tickets for tonight’s performance at the NYC Ballet, complete with Bruce as her escort. Several gorgeous evening dresses from top designers were brought up for her to choose from as a gift from the studio.
To say Cammie was overwhelmed by today’s events would be an understatement. She truly felt like a princess in a fairy tale. Why did it feel like such a lonely enchantment?
Throughout the entire ballet performance, while Bruce was an entertaining escort now that she’d forgiven him, she expected to lean over and share her enthusiasm or thoughts with Grey. Homesickness had crept into her soul. Home, as in Alabama.
When she returned to the hotel, the desire to call Grey nearly overwhelmed her. Somehow, he’d gotten to her again after all these years. She’d even spent time today wondering how Samantha was faring, hoping she wasn’t struggling at school, and worrying that she was happy.
Cammie was terribly afraid this new career move wouldn’t be enough, no matter how incredible the opportunity, but she couldn’t come up with a way to make everyone happy. Was that even possible?
As she picked up her cell phone, it rang. “Hello?”
“Hi.” It was Grey. A deep longing hit her hard the moment his voice came through the speaker.
“Hey there.”
“How was your meeting?” he asked.
“Unbelievable, really. They offered me prime time.” She winced, thinking she should sound more enthusiastic instead of stunned. Where had her ambition gone? She was not going to give up everything for a man. But the man was Grey, her conscience spoke up. She told it to shut up.
“Wow. That’s pretty exciting.” Grey said after a pause, but he did sound legitimately happy for her. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. How are things down there?”
“Going pretty well, all things considered.”
“Is Samantha alright?” Cammie felt an intense need to know.
“She’s fine. Big fractions test in the morning, but I think she’s ready for it.”
“I—I miss you.” Had she really just said that? What an idiot.
“You do? I miss you like crazy, but you know that.”
“I’m sitting here in a suite at the Ritz Carlton in Manhattan after an incredible day, and I should be turning cartwheels, but instead I can’t stop wishing I was there. It’s very confusing.” It was a big admission, but she felt like she needed to be honest. With him. With herself.
“I’m so glad to hear it. Not that you’re confused, but that you’re homesick and miss me. You often give the impression that you can’t wait to get the hell outta Ministry.”
“Obviously a few things have changed.”
“Obviously.” His voice was dry.
She remembered opening the curtain in her underwear and seeing him on that ladder outside the window. The horror of that moment, in retrospect, nearly sent her into a fit of giggles.
“What in the world is so funny?” He asked.
“I was remembering the expression on your face when you saw me through the window that first day.”
“The look on my face? You were standing there in the sexiest bra and panties I’ve ever seen and glaring at me like you wanted to shoot me.”
“I did, kinda. No woman wants to meet her old boyfriend in her underwear without any makeup after ten years.”
“Funny, all I could think of was how gorgeous and hot you looked.”
“You’re such a guy.” She laughed.
“Guilty. I’m the guy who loves you, you know?” He became serious.
“Oh, Grey, what are we doing?” She groaned into the phone, more confused than ever.
“I’m trying to persuade you that we belong together. We can make the long-distance thing work, at least until I figure it all out with Samantha.”
“I really don’t see how.” She couldn’t commit right now. She wouldn’t.
“Just say you’ll consider it.” He sounded gruff and emotional.
“This is all such a confusing mess.”
“Please, Cammie, you don’t have to commit. Just don’t say no.”
“Grey,” she breathed, and even she could hear the give in her voice.
“So, you’ll be home Thursday?” He asked.
Home, her heart kicked.
“My flight arrives around eight o’clock in the evening.”
“I’ll pick you up from the airport, and we can grab a bite to eat if you want.” He’d backed off considerably, and she felt like she could breathe again, like she wasn’t about to burst into tears. She’d never been the weepy type, but Grey did something to her emotions. Always had. Maybe always would.
“Thanks; I’ll let you know,” she finally said. “I’m likely to be a tired heap by then, but I’ll call or text when I land,” she assured him.
She should push the end button, but instead she continued to hold the phone to her ear.
“Cammie?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
He sounded so certain, and with enough emotion that she recognized the sincerity behind his words.
“I know.” She nearly said it back. “Grey, I…” She stopped herself before she jumped over that cliff. “I hope you understand that I’m still working all this out in my head.” Her words sounded insensitive to her own ears, but she refused to spill gushy emotional stuff only to be hurt again or to commit to anything she wasn’t ready to follow through on.
“I can wait.” He assured her, but sounded as if she’d stuck a knife into him and twisted it.
Cammie didn’t know if that made her feel terrified or reassured.
“Bye.” She hung up before she could say more.
*
Grey arrived early with a crew of workers at the Laroux house. Today they would begin shoring up an area of the exterior where settling under the foundation had caused some sagging in the floors.
Concrete reinforcement was necessary in a few areas beneath the house, and Grey’d sub-contracted a separate company for that work. Today, they would prep, and tomorrow, pour the concrete. This wasn’t his area of expertise, but he oversaw the process to make certain things went smoothly.
Since there wasn’t anything else he could do until tomorrow, once the concrete guys left, he locked up and headed out on a personal errand.
Grey returned to the old farmhouse outside of town where he’d found the flooring. He was so drawn to the property still, that he found himself wandering through the barn, making plans for future changes he’d make once this was their home. Grey could picture the three of them here together: Samantha, Cammie, and him. The last time he’d been over, George had given him a key to the house.
He let himself in, took out the camera he’d brought and snapped several photos of the kitchen, hearth, and living areas. It was wonderfully open and airy f
or such an old place. He envisioned installing stainless appliances and stone countertops, and still managing to maintain the home’s charm. The cabinetry was in excellent condition and would only require a deep sanding and refinishing to make it a work of art.
Modern space-making architecture could be implemented without taking anything away from the existing traditional lines. Cammie would require a chef’s kitchen in her line of work. Certainly he wanted her input, even if she never lived here. But he didn’t want to give up hope. He’d lived for ten years without it.
He took one last glance around at the home’s interior, Grey locked up. Today, he’d made a decision. It felt right all the way to his bones. This was to be home.
He dialed George’s number to talk specifics. George didn’t answer, so he left a voicemail.
Grey then e-mailed the kitchen photos to Cammie, asking her opinion as to what sorts of changes she would suggest to make this the perfect magazine-worthy, modern farmhouse kitchen. He intimated in the message that it was a local home where he was to begin renovation soon. So, when she got the chance, he’d love to hear her professional opinion. He’d included an exterior shot of the front as well.
Of course he didn’t expect to hear back from her until sometime tomorrow, but he was eager for her reaction to the farmhouse photos.
He then headed to pick up some items from the local builder’s supply.
Grey made it back just in time to meet the bus. “Hey there, how was school?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“Got any homework?” Grey took her heavy backpack from her, and they began walking down the drive toward the house.
“A little.”
“Feels like a lot.” He laughed.
*
Maureen wasn’t quite sure what to do with Howard. She didn’t doubt her feelings, not in the least. In fact, if they could spend every waking moment together, it would suit her fine. She had no doubt it was the same for him.
But he couldn’t exactly move into Evangeline House immediately with her. And he lived an hour and a half away. He owned his parents homestead two counties over, and had used a property manager most of his career so the place didn’t fall to ruin when he was away for long periods.
Neither was ready to separate—not yet. They were too busy getting to know one another again. He’d told her he wanted to take care of her until she was a hundred percent from her surgery. If he stayed here at Evangeline House, she could only imagine the stink it would cause with her children, not to mention the gossip in town. Maureen was something of a civic leader around here.
Her reputation was important, but she didn’t want to be a hypocrite either. Living with a man who was her first child’s father, unbeknownst to the world until now, was bound to cause a stir in a place like Ministry. She was the owner of a thriving business, and this news could hurt that business should it get out to the good Christian people around town.
She would be judged. Whether it was right or not, there remained a rather large and rigid contingency of the small-minded who passed judgment. Of course, Maureen likely retained enough uncomfortable information, should it come to light after all these years, about each and every one of those starchy-butted folks to make them rethink their position should it come down to that. A lifetime without missteps was a very rare thing.
For today, she’d asked Howard to bring her home. He was planning to leave just before dark to head back to his own home near Montgomery. He’d gone back out to the car to retrieve the items she’d brought with her to the lake. Anna had returned a few days ago. Maureen had missed her children, and decided to take a little time to settle back into a routine at the center of her family. They would have a nice Thanksgiving together Thursday and hopefully mend some fences. She had the uncomfortable feeling that she would have to come clean with Cammie as well. Having Howard back in her life showed her more than anything that she shouldn’t have used her own pain to make a decision for her daughter that was not hers to make.
*
Grey picked Cammie up from the airport. It was wonderful to see her, but the dark circles under her eyes told a story. He stowed her bag in the backseat of his truck. “You look tired.”
“You’re a real charmer.”
“Honesty is my policy from here on out. I love you and I missed you.”
“No pressure there,” Cammie said, biting her lip.
“I know. I’m supposed to be patient,” he said ruefully and kissed the corner of her mouth. “But I was always impatient for everything with you.”
Cammie smiled softly. She seemed far away.
“I could say it a thousand times more, how sorry I am that I ruined….”
She linked her fingers with his.
“It’s not that,” she said slowly. “I don’t think you ruined my trust so much as you ruined me for anyone else.”
“I’m not sure if that’s something else I should be apologizing for.” He shifted the truck into gear, not breaking the link of their fingers and headed back to Ministry.
“I meant it as a good thing.” She smiled, and for the first time in a while it seemed genuine and happy, not tinged with doubt or sorrow. “Do you know if my mother’s at home?”
“She was when I left to pick you up. I think she’s cooking dinner for you.”
“That wasn’t necessary. How does she seem? The last time I saw her was at the cabin when we caught her with Maeve’s father, Howard.”
“From what I could tell, she seemed happy and looked to be getting around pretty well. I met Howard briefly, when he brought her home early this afternoon. He stayed for a while, but I didn’t notice his truck when I left to pick you up.”
“Hmmm…” she murmured. “I think I want to ask her about the letter.”
“Okay.” Grey wasn’t sure how to respond. “I don’t know what that’s going to explain after all this time.”
“I want to know,” Cammie said, and she straightened in her seat. “I want to move on from this completely.”
Grey was quiet. Cammie, too.
“How’s Samantha?” she asked.
“Doing pretty well; looking forward to Thanksgiving break. It’ll be nice having her home without schoolwork and tests on her mind constantly. I can’t believe how much they’re responsible for in only fourth grade.”
“I’d like to see her again if she’ll agreed to it.” Cammie suggested, hesitantly.
Grey felt his heart soar, but did his best not to show it. He knew Cammie wouldn’t try to make inroads with Samantha if she were planning on running off to New York City in the next week or so. But maybe his hope was making him grasp at straws.
“Sure. It’s a good idea for the two of you to get to know each other. The more he thought about it, this request signified to him that Cammie might be considering them as part of her future.
“Just let me know when would be a good time.”
“Will do.” He tried his best to keep a lid on his excitement for now. “Did you get a chance to look at the photos I sent you?”
Cammie started as if she’d been about to fall asleep, and he silently cursed himself for pushing yet again.
“I saw the one on my screen,” she said apologetically. “But I’ve been too wound up to really look at them and offer up any sort of reasoned, professional opinion. Tomorrow?”
“Of course. Take your time.”
They’d pulled into Evangeline House’s drive, and she looked ready to drop.
Maureen met them at the door, ushered Cammie inside, and invited him in. “Thanks for bringing my baby girl home. Would you like to have a late dinner with us?”
“No, ma’am, I’d better head home and check in with my family. It’s nearly Samantha’s bedtime. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tell her to stop by and see me while she’s out of school next week. I’ve missed her. And say hello to your dad for me.” Maureen had spent quite a lot of time with both Lucy and Samantha buzzing around underfoot since they’d moved back.
“Thanks. She’ll be happy to know you’re home.”
He kissed Cammie on the cheek and promised they would speak tomorrow.
*
Cammie decided there wasn’t any time like the present. “Mom, I have to ask you about something.”
Her mother raised her elegant brow. Cammie figured she was likely ready for any line of questioning at this point following all that had gone down in the past week. “Of course, darling. Let’s sit down and talk over dinner. I don’t want our food to get cold.”
They sat, poured wine, and served up bowls of lovely potato soup and crusty French bread. “Grey shared with me that he’d left a letter with you for me just after he found out Deb was pregnant.” Understanding dawned immediately on her mother’s face in the form of a pained expression.
Mom stood. “Stay right here. I realize that I have much to explain, but I need the letter to do that.”
Nerves like angry bees began buzzing inside Cammie’s gut. At least there weren’t any denials regarding the reopening of yet another scarred over wound. Cammie tried to calm her uncertain emotions before her mother returned.
The single sheet of slightly yellowed, and obviously much-handled, notebook paper was placed on the table in front of her. Cammie opened it with trembling hands, her heartbeat thumping as if she’d not known its contents until this moment.
My Dearest Cammie,
By now you’ve heard about Deb and me. I wish I could have told you myself, so you might try to understand. I never meant for any of it to happen, I swear. We’d had that big fight on the phone and you believed the worst of me. I drove like a maniac from Auburn to explain, but your mother said you didn’t want to see me.
I was so upset that I went out to the barn and drank myself stupid. I guess Deb followed me. She’d talked to you after our fight and knew I’d come chasing after you. I swear she had it all planned, Cammie. I was shit-faced off Boones Farm and I felt so sad and alone. One minute she was consoling me, and the next, I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I’m not even sure how it happened.
You and I made up and I’d planned to tell you just as soon as I got the nerve, but then Deb told me she was pregnant. I couldn’t deny it. Cammie, she’s having a miscarriage and threatening suicide. She swears the baby is fine one minute and wants to die the next. I wanted to talk to you so badly, but your mom says she hasn’t heard from you and doesn’t know where you’ve gone.