by Carsen Taite
“I didn’t hit him, but I didn’t live up to my gold shield either. I guess I’ll never be entirely sure of what happened next.
“Tucker excused himself to the kitchen. While he was gone, I talked to Skye about ways to break him, make him tell us something we could use to wedge open a lead. I was more concerned about cracking the case than following procedure—otherwise I wouldn’t have let him wander off. Next thing I knew, Ranell was whispering in Skye’s ear and I noticed his partner was MIA. I started to ask where he went, but before the words hit the air, they were blasted by the sound of gunfire. We drew our guns and ran toward the back of the house. I knew in my gut this was going to end badly.” Parker looked down at her hands, only mildly surprised to find they were shaking. She released the iron grip on the half-full glass in her hand and eased it onto the table, fighting the drive to drink it down. She had battled similar urges back then and she willed herself to do so again. At least until she could finish telling her story.
“Tucker wasn’t so cocky anymore. He was lying face down in a pool of blood, the back of his shirt ripped through from the bullet that snuffed his life. Morales was standing a few feet away, his gun still trained on Tucker’s body.
“I checked his pulse, but I knew it was pointless. I asked what the hell happened, but nobody had anything to say. Morales completely ignored me. He finally put his gun away and started frantically opening doors and drawers in the room. Ranell joins in and the two of them start tearing apart the room. Skye just stood there. She wouldn’t look me in the eye. My first instinct was to call in the shooting, but I ignored it. I wanted to know what the hell they were up to. Since Morales was ignoring me, I grabbed his arm and got in his face and yelled at him to tell me what had happened.
“Nothing could have prepared me for what he said. During my conversation with Tucker, he had decided to do a little warrantless searching, hoping to find some evidence in plain sight so he could justify an arrest. While he talked I lost track of the number of ways I had disgraced my badge during the afternoon. I was so intent on engaging Tucker, I hadn’t even noticed Morales leave the room.
“He had found Tucker’s study, the room where we were standing. As I looked around, I could tell Morales thought he’d hit the mother lode. The room was full of computer equipment, complete with sophisticated webcams and high-speed disc-writing drives. Morales said he’d barely scratched the surface when Tucker snuck up behind him.
“Tucker started taunting Morales, telling him he knew what he was looking for and asking if Morales thought he was stupid enough, careless enough, to leave evidence lying around. He turned his back on Morales and reached in a drawer, all the while needling Morales about his inferior investigative skills. Tucker pulled something out of the drawer and raised it over his head, saying, ‘I know how to protect myself.’
“Morales heard his words and saw something shiny. He didn’t hestitate. He drew his weapon and fired point blank. The bullet hit Tucker in the back and kept on going, blasting out of his chest. Morales raced across the room and grabbed the shiny object out of Tucker’s hand. It was a CD. Wiping software. A hard-core program not sold in stores. Standard weapon for all serious child pornographers. There was no gun.”
“But he didn’t know that when he fired.” Morgan’s voice was gentle, her words couched in compassion.
Parker shook her head. “Maybe so. I would have found it a lot easier to believe him except for what happened next. Morales finished telling his story and went right back to searching the room. I finally managed to recover enough to make him tell me what he was doing. He acted like I was an idiot. ‘What do you think I’m doing? I just shot a guy in the back. A worthless piece of scum who deserved to die and I’m not going down for it. I’m sure he owns a gun and before we call this in, the gun is going to be in his hand, freshly fired. Now, you can help me or stay out of my way. Your choice, but shut up with the questions.’ He and Ranell went back to their search as if I wasn’t there.
“It was becoming clear these guys were on a mission and they weren’t going to tolerate anyone getting in their way. I looked at Skye, but she woudn’t look back. Her face was set and stern. I’d known her for years, and while I never questioned her ethics, I was well acquainted with her aversion to rocking the boat. Over the years, she had gone to great pains to keep her private life secret for fear an out lesbian would garner less respect on the force. She thought her sexual orientation was a closely guarded secret, but I’m sure all the guys she wouldn’t give the time of day to had no doubt about her preferences. She made up for her inability to emulate a straight woman by fitting in as one of the guys in a brotherhood that demanded unfettered loyalty.
“Now, our loyalty to our brothers was being put on the line, and while we both thought our choices were clear, we ended up on completely different sides. This was never clearer to me than when Skye pulled a throw-down from an ankle holster and handed it to Morales. As I watched her hand him the gun, the key to their cover-up, I decided I was on my own. I radioed in and reported the shooting. I clicked off when the questions from dispatch started coming fast and furious.
“Skye pulled me aside and impressed upon me the importance of sticking together. I had no idea her insecurities were so strong. Once they realized I had no intention of joining forces, they huddled together and talked as if I wasn’t in the room and couldn’t hear their every word. Next thing we knew the place was flooded with cops to take over the investigation and union reps, one for each of us. Then the suits from IAD arrived and our helpful union representatives gave us the only advice they had to offer: give a statement or lose the job. We were separated at that point. For all I know Skye and other two stuck to the story they’d concocted. I turned over my gun and badge and left in the department vehicle, accompanied by a uniformed rookie who was clueless about why he was charged with the task of dropping me off at home and then driving my vehicle back to the station.”
“What a horrible betrayal.” Morgan’s voice was full of anger now. “Your partner should have had your back.”
“You can’t even imagine the many layers of Skye’s disloyalty.” Parker winced at the memory of the pain inflicted by her former lover. “The next few months were a blur. We were all suspended pending investigation. I told the investigators the truth about the shooting, though not the whole of it. I couldn’t bring myself to go so far as to nail Skye with the truth of her role in the cover-up and I couldn’t figure out a way to pin it on the other detectives without bringing her down as well. It didn’t take me long to realize no one wanted to hear anything I had to say. The normally brutal IAD detectives lobbed me chance after chance to bring my story in line with the others. I was tempted, but the truth was I had no idea if Skye and the others were sticking to the story they cooked up at Tucker’s house. I told them everything I heard and saw, but I pretended to have no idea where the gun in Tucker’s hand had come from. And I didn’t. I had no idea Skye carried a throw-down weapon. I learned I knew very little about her. I got more and more disgruntled every time I was called back down to the station. The lawyer the union hired was a spineless bastard who exerted more effort trying to get me to conform than he did trying to defend me.
“I was number one in my class at the academy. I earned my gold shield faster than any cop in the department. I had been decorated for valor and had a list of commendations longer than my arm. My accomplishments were meaningless in the wake of the train of deception shooting down the tracks, and my ‘brothers’ were the ones who had tied me down. I was fired for cause, stripped of rank, pay, and retirement. I was so devastated I got no comfort from the fact Morales was fired as well. The outcome of the administrative hearing was Morales had acted badly in snooping around the house and shooting a guy in the back and I, as the lead detective, knew or should have known he was a loose cannon. Never mind the fact he was a detective in his own right and belonged to a different department. I got the message behind my firing. I hadn’t gone along. I had betrayed t
he loyalty of the brotherhood and I was no longer trusted to do the right thing, however loosely defined the right thing was.”
Parker stared at the half-empty bottle of Scotch sitting on the table. She had no recollection of drinking while she talked and shook her head to assess the buzz she felt. It was strong, but not strong enough. She leaned forward and filled her glass, drinking deeply through the silence. Seconds stretched into minutes and, hearing no response, she turned to meet Morgan’s face, fortifying herself for whatever expression she might find there.
She saw pain and she wondered vaguely at the source. Finally, Morgan spoke.
“Did it end there?”
“Not quite. Tucker’s family crawled out of the woodwork to sue the department for wrongful death. Actually, they seemed like nice people and I’m sure they saw the lawsuit as a way to compensate for the pain of raising a child who, despite their efforts, turned out to be a monster. I was subpoenaed as a witness and wound up hiring a lawyer on my own to discuss the pros and cons of taking the Fifth. Out of a job, I had precious little money, but I didn’t trust the union hack who had ‘represented my interests’ to the department. My lawyer convinced me to fight my termination and I wound up suing the department and taking advantage of their desire to keep all their wrongful acts out of the public forum. My settlement is paying for law school. You could say I was inspired by my experience to use my powers to fight for the underdog.
“The irony of it all is Tucker wasn’t the Trinity River Killer. Everyone thought for sure he was the one since the killings stopped right after he died, but the family gave permission for a DNA test and there was no match. I think they wanted to know for themselves whether his life had any redeeming value. The killer’s still out there. Maybe he’ll call on me to represent him someday.”
Parker’s final words on the subject were delivered with thick sarcasm, but Morgan could read the pain behind them. She ached to draw Parker close, hold her and comfort her, but Parker was distant and she feared pulling her close would break rather than forge any connection they had.
Morgan contemplated the rush of feeling she had experienced in the elevator. Was she indeed falling in love? To the outside observer, her feelings were well placed. Not only was Parker smart and beautiful, she was brave and honorable as well. Morgan pondered whether what she felt for Parker was real or whether it was the by-product of Parker having saved the day the night she came to town. As she reflected on that night, she had no doubt the physical attraction was real, but what about this intense desire that had developed that was entirely separate from their sexual attraction? Love and lust started to wind their way around each other and Morgan wasn’t sure she could trust her ability to tell them apart. She decided that until she did, she wouldn’t act on either. To do so was to risk hurting Parker, and she had suffered enough betrayal from others who lacked the courage of their convictions. Morgan resolved she would keep her feelings to herself until she was sure.
Chapter Twelve
Parker walked in from the garage and headed straight to the kitchen. She wanted coffee, but she needed water more. She had woken up about forty-five minutes before, sprawled on the couch in Morgan’s hotel room. They were both fully dressed and Parker felt the dull throb of a hangover begin to take hold. She eased her way out of the room, casting a wistful glance at Morgan sound asleep on the couch. It had been a strange night. The only one they had shared without sleeping together, yet it was the most intimate by far. Now, as she chugged a bottle of cold water, Parker regretted not stealing a kiss before she left.
Parker was so wrapped up in the memory, she didn’t notice the presence of anyone else in the kitchen. The scraping sound of a throat clearing caused her to turn abruptly and smack her head on the refrigerator door.
“What the hell?” She rubbed her head and stared at Kelsey and Dex, who were standing in the middle of the kitchen staring right back at her. Slowly, her memory started to return. Dex. Research. Saturday morning. Shit. She wondered if they had seen her come in from the garage, dressed in yesterday’s clothes. Feeling like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, she scrambled. “Oh, hi, Dex. Sorry, I had to run out this morning and get some stuff. Give me five minutes and I’ll be raring to go.” She grabbed the bottle of water and jogged out of the room without waiting for a response.
*
They had been working for almost two hours when Dex abruptly pushed the button on the computer monitor. As the screen faded to black, Parker exclaimed, “Hey, I was reading a case!”
Dex settled into the chair next to her. “We need to talk.”
Parker squirmed in her seat. “Dex dear, we’ve been talking. We’ve talked all morning. I think we’re getting close to having this motion briefed. Can we finish please?”
“In a minute.” Dex took a deep breath. “Gerald Lopez came by to see me last night.”
“Is he feeling a little left out? I’ll never figure out how he made the team in the first place.”
“Yeah, me neither. But apparently he’s got a pretty big chip on his shoulder and it has to do with you.”
Gerald had never hidden his jealousy for her success in school. He believed he was entitled to accomplishment because his daddy was a hotshot lawyer, alum, and major contributor to the law school. He viewed Parker as a lowly cop, which figured into his calculation that he was more deserving of success than she. Parker had no idea what Dex was about to say, but whatever it was, she wasn’t surprised about the fact Gerald didn’t like her. She was surprised, though, that Gerald had bothered to talk to Dex about his feelings, since he had to know Dex and Parker were tight.
“Gerald has it in his head you and Professor Bradley have a thing.”
Not in a million years did she expect this revelation. Her feelings furiously treaded water while her thoughts swam in search of an acceptable response. “A thing? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Dex gave Parker a knowing look. “Don’t make me spell it out. You know what I mean. He says he saw you two, quote, ‘cuddling up in class’ and riding off somewhere together last night.”
“What did you say to him?”
“I threatened to beat the shit out of him.” Dex gave her a pointed look. “Was my bluster unfounded?”
Parker managed to return Dex’s look, but couldn’t find words to convey a simple answer to his question complete with an explanation of the complexity of her relationship with Morgan. She had trouble understanding the situation herself. How could she expect Dex to comprehend? As she watched his expectant expression, she realized their friendship demanded she at least try to explain. Knowing Dex, Gerald had suffered for even bringing up the issue, and she owed Dex for his loyalty.
Parker told Dex everything, from the first moment in the alley to her soul-baring episode of the evening before. She omitted no detail, not even her involved past with Skye, and was surprised at the sense of relief she felt at the telling. Years of training allowed Dex to listen without reacting, giving Parker no idea how he felt about her revelations. When she finished she waited expectantly.
“Wow.” The one word revealed the surprise his flat tone was meant to hide.
“Wow? You don’t have anything to say but wow?” Parker waited for his thoughts to catch up to his feelings.
Dex shook his head. “So you’ve slept with both the lead detective on the Chavez case and the lead defense attorney. Gee, Parker, any other major players on this case you haven’t bagged?”
Parker stood abruptly, knocking over the reams of research they had compiled. “You’re an ass.”
“Come on, Parker. What the hell did you expect me to say? ‘Way to go’?”
Parker was furious at Dex for his callous reaction and furious with herself for sharing with him. “I don’t expect anything from you. We’re done here, aren’t we?”
Realizing he was being dismissed, Dex stomped across the room and gathered his things. “Sure, Parker. We’re done. Since you seem to have the inside track, why don’t
you finish briefing the motion? I’m sure your work will be more than satisfactory.”
Parker glared through his departure. She waited until she heard the front door slam shut before grabbing the nearest text and hurling it across the room. Where did he get off? Their friendly competition to graduate first in their class seemed to have morphed into a brawl at her revelation. Surely he didn’t think she slept with Morgan to come out on top? She glanced up at the sound of approaching footsteps and saw Kelsey standing in the doorway.
“Are you done throwing things?”
Parker met Kelsey’s questioning look. “I don’t know. The first throw barely scratched the surface of my anger.” She grimaced. “Enter with caution.”
To her surprise, Kelsey marched across the room and gathered her up in a fierce hug. “Parker Casey, you’re not angry. You’re confused. You’ve gotten yourself wrapped up in a complicated situation and you can’t seem to find a way out of it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Parker. You’ve got a crush on your teacher.”
Parker felt the blood drain from her face. She was intrigued by Morgan. She admired her. She was irresistibly attracted to her. But a crush? Not a chance. Before she could eke out the words to challenge Kelsey’s assumption, Kelsey put a finger over her lips.
“Not a word out of you. You’re about to vehemently deny my conclusion. Forget it, Parker. I’m a doctor, which makes me a practiced observer of physical and emotional signs. I know you didn’t come home last night and I’m quite sure I know who you were with. When it comes to Morgan Bradley, you exhibit all the classic symptoms of a woman who is infatuated. Whatever you have to say isn’t going to change my diagnosis. Think about it and get used to the idea. Because you’re going to have to do something about it before you trample all your friends beating a trail away from your feelings.” Kelsey released Parker from her grasp and held her at arm’s length. “I’m going downstairs to make dinner. Beat your pillows with a tennis racket, take a warm bath, count to a hundred. Do whatever you need to do to regain your composure and then join me in the kitchen. I expect you to eat.”