I prepared carefully. In the event that I did not survive, I programmed an automatic course into the guidance system. Having come this far, it seemed worth it to make sure my remains had at least a chance of arriving at my destination. I also networked the life support servers and crossed them with the recording monitor, so that if the recording process completed and I did not awake and assume full control over the observatory, the contents of the observatory would be gradually deep-frozen.
My brain would be empty at that point anyway, and I didn’t like the idea of leaving my body to slowly rot on the recording couch.
Once I was satisfied that I’d tended to the necessary details, I sat down and considered my final words. In my entire life, through everything I’d experienced, I’d never really thought about what I’d want to leave behind for the future. It had always been someone else leaving something behind for me. I had always been the one to have to pick up the pieces and carry on. It frustrated me to sit there in front of the computer, finger poised over the button that would begin audio-video storage, and not have a damned thing to say.
After ten minutes I finally tapped the button and spoke—in TransCom, so that the people who might recover the recording would understand.
“My name is Miroslaw Jaworski. I might be the only survivor to have escaped the destruction of planet Earth. If you are viewing this message, it means that I am dead. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like somebody to put up a placard somewhere; for myself and my family.”
I slowly repeated the full names of my sister, mother, and father, as well as my grandparents, and several extended family who had been alive when the antimatter bombs wiped out the Earth. It seemed like a good idea to include them, since we were all victims and I wanted our lives to be remembered somewhere, by somebody.
“I don’t really care what happens after that. Tabitha and Howard Marshall are entombed on the other side of this facility, and I think they should stay there. My body, and the entire contents of this observatory, are yours to do with as you see fit.
“Out.”
I punched the stop key, made sure the file replicated through my crude daisychain of stand-alone workstations, then stood up and walked to the recording room, where I slowly shut the door, set up the IV system—I’d need fluid put into me during the process, or I’d dehydrate to death before recording was complete—then sat in the recorder’s attached chair.
The recorder “crown”—which is how I’d come to think of it—was poised just centimeters above my skull. I’d detached the activator toggle from the control station and put it on a cable that allowed me to hold the toggle in my hand.
I thought about how Howard had once had to do this, with only Tab to monitor his progress.
Swallowing hard, I flipped the toggle with my thumb.
And the universe vanished into a swirl of sounds and color.
• • •
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. One moment I was bathed in an endless sea of shifting and chaotic images—sounds echoing across the cosmos from one side of my mind to the other—and the next moment I seemed to snap back to a state of utterly cold and solid reality.
Only, I was seeing the observatory through at least fifty different eyes, and hearing with fifty different ears, and I couldn’t blink nor turn off the input, so that I was trying to scream, but that just made things worse because my scream bellowed from fifty different speakers, which overloaded fifty different microphones, and within my head a feedback squeal like a migraine peeled across my consciousness.
It was Howard who saved me. Or, rather, his memories.
On the chance that I’d be able to access what was left of Howard’s intellect, I’d networked his old arrays in a cluster adjacent to the main set of blanks I’d set up for myself. In desperate panic, I mentally reached for Howard, and felt a quick jolt of information flow across the link. Suddenly I was on solid mental ground again, my field of vision rapidly narrowed to one camera view, and my ability to hear narrowed down to a single, neutered computer voice that simply said, “Command access granted, Mirek. Awaiting further instructions.”
The system knew my name.
I’d made it.
Only, I couldn’t feel excited about that. Intellectually, I think I was relieved. But the glandular feeling of satisfaction, of triumph, that should have been mine, was absent. All that remained was the coolness of pure, rapid thought. Thought so fast, I felt staggered by the implications. And capability. No mathematical calculation ever need be beyond my grasp again. The moment I could conceive of a problem, the answer was in my mind at the same instant. Memory recall proved similarly instant, and I took a few moments to ponder this reality, which brought on a further jolt of data from Howard’s banks, which were actively integrating with my own, now that they had a reliable cerebral matrix to map to.
It took me only a few minutes to master the network, and another few to access and test all the remaining, functional systems in the observatory.
At once, it became obvious how sloppy and haphazard I’d been. Total facility efficiency was down to forty-two percent, with a list of yellow, orange, and red-lined items stretching into the hundreds. While I scanned and prioritized, I received continual jolts of data from Howard’s arrays. One moment, I’d be wondering how to fix a certain problem. The next, the knowledge would be there, as if it had always been there. As if I’d done it a hundred times before.
Though his personality was barely perceptible in the data, like a tiny aftertaste on the tongue, Howard was still, for all intents and purposes, gone. I sent numerous mental thank-yous to the man’s memory, then made ready to depart the buoy, and begin the down-hill leg of my journey towards the Outbound.
• • •
One thing about being a computerized mind: I could make time go as fast or as slow as I wanted to. Weeks and months evaporated in a blink while I made necessary fixes to reactors and set up a schedule to ration the fuel supply, all the while thrusting gently up the relative velocity curve, being careful to have more than enough fuel left over at the end-point for slowing down. I had no idea what might be waiting for me there, but I knew it’d probably be bad manners to go speeding past the Outbounders like a semi that’s lost its brakes on a steep hill.
I turned my radios forward and began gently peppering my flight path with greetings for whomever it was that would meet me.
I suppose there was always a chance that nobody would meet me, and that the buoy, for all its promise, could have been a deception, or even a relic from an effort that had since failed. But my computer-dictated intellect didn’t have the capacity for real fear. Such strong emotion, I found, was purely a residual memory—like a stimulus response, now delayed. I knew I should be afraid, but this was largely a past-tense knowledge, and did not affect my overall progress, nor my determination to reach my goal.
What happened when I got there…well, I purposely tried not to wonder about that. What use would the Outbound have for a computer mind like me? It wasn’t like I could just put myself back into my own head again. Nor, I began to think, would I want to. The expanded capacity of the neural arrays was almost intoxicating, and after a couple of years had passed I suspected that if ever I had to be restricted again to one set of eyes, one set of ears, one set of senses, I might feel so claustrophobic about the whole affair, I’d go mad.
With the main telescope mostly wrecked, I deployed the backup and used my idle cycles to scan and chart the narrow sliver of the Kuiper Belt through which I passed.
It really was amazing, to see so much debris in an area of space that most humans had thought of as empty, even up to and through the twenty-second century. Only the Outbound had had the forethought to see this region for what it truly was: a refuge from the catastrophes that were sure to strike the planets of the solar system—be they comet or asteroids, intense solar flares, or as had actually happened, the competitive stupidity of humanity itself.
Out in the Kuiper Bel
t, there was room enough to get lost. Like a hermit penetrating deep into the wild, seeking resources enough to survive and distance enough to avoid the madness of humanity.
I found two more buoys, each with a similar message to the first.
My antimatter fuel passed the point of no return, making it totally impossible to go back to the Jovian region of space. But I paid little attention. I was Outbound now, and there would never be any going back.
Another decade’s worth of time elapsed in surreal ease, and at the end of that, another micrometeoroid shower hit. But I’d secured the vital systems before putting myself into the computer, and the effort paid off. Nothing critical was damaged, though the hydroponics and other life support systems would never operate again—too many micro-holes.
I wondered why my messages, which I had been casting ahead of me like rocks across a pond, garnered no response.
Maybe that was just the nature of being Outbound—never reveal yourself until the time it’s absolutely necessary.
At the twenty-ninth year since leaving Jupiter, I should have felt excited and nervous with anticipation.
I felt only lingering ghosts.
• • •
I never saw the other ship.
One moment, I was alone in space. The next moment, a fifty-meter-wide wedge was matching course and speed—which was no small feat.
I politely lobbed radio hellos at the wedge, anticipating a reply. But all the wedge did was spit out a dozen, tinier wedges, each of which fell on the observatory like fleas on the ass of a dog, and suddenly I was struck by the notion that I’d been baited into a colossal mouse trap.
Each of the small wedges touched down and disgorged a series of spider-like drones that began scrambling into the observatory’s interior, cutting through metal and rock as easily as a knife through butter.
My hello calls became pressed, and then frantic. The spiders blindly ignored my efforts and sped towards the hole where I’d stashed the memory arrays. My cameras and others senses followed them, and I’d have screamed if I’d still felt the kind of visceral panic necessary.
I remember one last camera view, overlooking the arrays. I watched a spider climb on top of my databanks, hungrily rubbing together its claw-tipped forelegs, then I sensed my mind fissioning into separate parts—which seemed like the worst kind of insanity imaginable—then merciful blackness.
• • •
Reactivation was bothersome, because they wouldn’t let me see, hear, nor sense anything. Not at first. All I got was the impression that someone needed me to be patient, so I waited, tasting the quality of my thoughts and finding them…Truncated. Limited. The absolute speed and precision of the observatory’s databanks was missing. It felt like…It felt like?
When I finally opened my eyes—?!—I was greeted by several different faces, all of which appeared concerned. I sat up—?!—and looked at the Outbounders, each of whom was dressed in what I took for medical gowns, though the room in which they’d placed me was remarkably warm, and free from anything even approaching a scalpel or other menacingly surgical object.
“I’m Doctor Hastel. How do you feel?”
That was one of the women, who looked about forty.
“I’m not sure yet,” I said. “How did you…put me back?”
“It’s a long explanation,” said one of the men, a Chinese-ish fellow in his thirties who identified himself as Surgeon Chow. “Here, I’ll make it simple for you.”
He never moved, but there was a sudden mind jolt, like the ones I’d gotten from Howard’s memory array. In the space of a single second, I suddenly understood everything about the Outbounder procedure. They’d cloned me, using tissue from the frozen corpse they’d found in the observatory’s recording room. Inside my clone brain they’d installed a new organ: a direct-connect interface. They’d used it to slowly trickle my cerebral matrix into the clone brain while the clone body grew.
Now that I was awake, the direct-connect would allow me to access their public network—once they deemed it safe for me to do so. I still had a lot to learn before I could get out of the hospital.
All of this knowledge arrived in my consciousness with a cool surety, as if I’d always known such things. But I felt a tight thrill run down my spine while I looked down at my legs.
“Fully functional?” I asked.
“Yes,” Hastel said, with a small smile. “Were they not before?”
“No,” I said. “Paraplegic.”
“We’ve gotten a few of those,” she said. “Easily fixed.”
I dared to try to move my legs, which had been useless my entire life, and discovered I didn’t really know how. Though if I concentrated, I could feel the sensation of the air cycler’s gentle current across my thighs, such that it created tiny goose bumps.
I felt delirious with sudden joy, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes while I smiled broadly.
My mind began to burst with questions.
“All in good time, Mister Jaworski,” said Chow. “We’re sorry we had to keep you off-line for so long. Even with advanced gen, it takes years to grow a clone body to the decanting stage. You were put into the queue as soon as possible.”
One of the other women, a younger and freckly red-head, asked the next question.
“I’m Surgeon’s Assistant Keilor. What would you like to know first?”
“Can I…” I stopped to really think about it. Then I said, “Can I get something to eat, please?”
The entire group smiled widely.
I looked around. “Is that the right question?”
“You bet,” Keilor said, taking my hand.
Another mind jolt, directly from her.
I slid off the table, and discovered I knew how to walk.
• • •
The Outbound were far more numerous and sophisticated than I’d expected them to be. While the solar system had gone about its myopic, self-centered business, the Outbound had secured great whacks of the Kuiper Belt, both for mining and colonization. Eventually they’d erected a monitoring network that had, at first, been designed to keep an eye on the rest of humanity that lived “down in the hole”, as I’d learned they called everyone who lived inside the orbit of Neptune.
It was this grid which had first detected the Others, who had apparently erected a monitoring network of their own, dating back to the twentieth century.
Things sort of snowballed from there.
Exchanging information and technology with the other sentient species of nearby star systems, the Outbound rapidly outpaced those of us “down in the hole”, so that the Outbound were able to easily mask their gradual takeover of the Kuiper.
None of the Outbound had been surprised by the outbreak of war. They’d seen it coming for many years. The wedge-shaped ship that had intercepted the observatory had been one of numerous, automated picket craft designed to intercept anything sent from the solar system, and determine if it was friendly or hostile. Had I been one of the killsats, or any other hostile entity, I’d have been destroyed. But once they found my memory arrays and determined that I was benign, they pulled the arrays, sampled tissue for cloning, returned both the arrays and the sample to a safe harbor, and the rest was history.
The observatory, along with the bodies of Howard and Tabitha, was allowed to continue on its eternal journey towards the vastness of the far-away Oort.
I bided my time as just another adolescent Outbounder: lounging around in the public spaces, getting used to my new body and its revelatory mobility, and playing on the direct-connect system. Hundreds of thousands of minds, most human, a few alien, all feeding into and interconnected by a vast, peer-based sharing system that was serverless and extended as far as communications equipment could make it go. Not quite a pooled mind, since everyone kept up their privacy barriers, but enough crossover so that we each could learn and access enough information that it was like digesting an entire college semester every day of the week.
I also managed to
stay in touch with the freckly red-head from the clone center. Physically, Colleen Keilor was a good bit older than I was, but age didn’t seem to matter much to Outbounders.
Col and I got along quite well.
A couple of years after I awoke among the Outbound, their Quorum announced its intention to begin reclamation of the solar system. The Quorum asked for volunteers to spearhead the effort, which would involve not only cleaning out all the killsats that still prowled between the planets, but a partial terraforming of the wasted Earth.
It would be a protracted effort—the greatest challenge of the Outbound Age.
Col and I signed up immediately.
• • •
Irenka Elaine Jaworski-Keilor was born in the midst of the Inbound flight of the First Reclamation Flotilla. Bright-eyed, and with a face and smile that seems eerily familiar, she brings my wife Col and I a great deal of joy. Once, Irenka would have seemed an impossibility. But through the years of changing diapers and teaching her to read and write and do math and use direct-connect, I’ve gradually accepted the fact that impossibilities are routine in my new, expanded reality.
We’ve reached Jupiter, and found the scorched remains of the old settlements. The killsats were waiting too, but we made short work of them, radioing our progress back to the Second and Third Flotillas which were launched in our wake.
There’s work aplenty for the new inhabitants of the solar system.
I hope that some day I can take Irenka down to Earth and show her a world I once called home, and which, hopefully, with a lot of fixing, might be called home again.
▼ ▲ ▼ ▲ ▼
“Outbound” came together over the winter holiday season in 2008. It was the mixture of two different stories which I’d started and stopped earlier in the year, and which seemed to unconsciously complement each other so well, I decided to blend their components and draft an entirely new story from scratch.
Lights in the Deep Page 5