by Tawny Taylor
“I love her.”
Rolf shook his head. He didn’t just hear what he thought he had. No way in hell.
His brother Dierk didn’t fall in love with women, he used them and then disposed of them when he was through. The word love didn’t exist in his vocabulary. How many times had Dierk told him that love wasn’t real? That it was a myth, like the legend of the magical unicorn? A pretty figment of humanity’s collective imagination.
He looked deeper into his brother’s eyes and echoed, “You love her?”
Dierk jerked his hand through his hair and dropped his gaze. A heavy silence fell between them for a few strained seconds, which was finally broken by Dierk’s confession. “Yes, I love her. I love her so much it’s making me crazy. I don’t just want her, I need her. I don’t just want to see her, I live to see her. I don’t just long for her, I ache for her. I hurt when she is away from me. I think about nobody but her. I dream about no one but her. I am hers.”
Now Rolf could remain on his feet no longer. He didn’t merely sit, he practically collapsed into the chair. His brother’s words struck him like a physical blow and they hurt like hell.
He’d come to care for Wynne, too. Still, he couldn’t deny one fact. He didn’t love her like Dierk did.
Dierk curled his fingers, fisting his hair, the heels of his hands pressed into his eye sockets. “I can’t stand this. I can’t face another minute without her.”
“If you could, would you marry her?”
“Oh hell, if I could, I would Join with her, but I know neither can be. Only the king can Join with his bride. And I am engaged to another woman.”
“You would Join with her?” Rolf repeated.
“If it were possible.”
“Well hell. You must really love her, then.” Rolf patted his brother on the shoulder and headed for the door. “I have a few errands to run. It seems you have a problem, Dierk. A big one.” He paused at the door. “But I’ll say this: Wynne could have no better man love her, my brother, and you know you could have no better woman love you.”
Something flared in Dierk’s eyes. “Do you think she loves me?”
“You’ll have to find that out for yourself. You have my word, I won’t stand in your way.”
Rolf left, hoping his brother would find a way to take hold of the happiness that was within his grasp.
It seemed Wynne wasn’t the only woman who had decided to complicate things for him.
Dierk was beginning to believe all women were prone to such whims. Either that, or he had the worst luck in the world to have found two such women.
His fiancée had learned where he was staying and had decided to join him. In a normal relationship, that wouldn’t have been a problem. In fact, it would have more likely been welcome. But in his case, it was far from welcome.
It wasn’t that he didn’t love Olivia. She was, by most men’s standards, everything one would want in a wife. The problem was Dierk didn’t want a wife. Or rather, he hadn’t wanted a wife when he’d made his promise to her. That was done out of duty.
Now, he found he did want a wife—but not Olivia. However, bound by duty and honor, he couldn’t break off the engagement.
He had a wife he didn’t want.
He had broken Wynne’s heart.
His own heart was breaking.
He was in hell and he had nobody to blame but himself.
He heard a car outside. The engine cut off. A door slammed. She was here. He hadn’t seen her since the last time he’d asked for her hand.
If only he could live a certain night over again. He would gladly pay any price.
But nothing, no amount of money or property, would allow him to turn back time.
The doorbell rang. He hadn’t expected her to ring the door. After all, he’d told her this would be her home as long as they remained in the area. He went to answer it and found her looking cheerful and pretty, as he remembered her.
“Hello, Dierk.” Olivia smiled as she stepped into her temporary home. She glanced around and he watched her, catching a hint of disappointment. “This is…quaint.”
“I warned you it wasn’t what you left behind.”
“That’s okay. I’d rather be in a log cottage with you than in that giant cave by myself.” She set her handbag on the console table. “Will you give me the grand tour?”
“I’d be happy to.”
“Thank you.” She took his arm as he led her through the small condo, pointing out the things he thought would interest her most. When it was time to show her the guestroom, which would be her room, he felt himself stiffen. The memories of last week were still fresh in his mind, the vision of Wynne lying on the bed, her hair fanned out over the pillow, the sheet parted, revealing a tempting slice of ivory skin….
“Dierk, it’s a good thing I came. It looks like this place could use a woman’s touch.”
“Yes, I’m sure it could.”
What price he would pay for one mistake.
It had been two months since Wynne had spent the night at Dierk’s house and still her heart did a little somersault every time the phone rang, someone knocked on the door, or she saw a black sports car. If she thought it had been hard getting over John, she had no idea what she was in for. That was a walk in the park compared to this.
Now, as she rushed to answer the knock at the door, her heart was in her throat and an irrational expectation was making it beat so hard and fast that she felt a little faint. There was absolutely no reason to think it was Dierk, and still she hoped.
“Hello, Wynne,” Rolf greeted, a huge red gift bag in his arms.
“Hi. What a surprise.” She stepped aside and welcomed him in with a sweep of the arm. “Come in.”
“I hope you don’t mind. I saw this and I thought of you. It’s your birthday today, isn’t it?”
“That’s very sweet of you to remember. Thanks.”
“You’d better wait until you see what it is before you call me sweet.” He winked.
She chuckled. “Let’s see what it is, then.”
It really was too bad that she didn’t have the same feelings for Rolf as she did for Dierk. He was just as good looking as his brother, maybe a little better. And he was patient, kind, and thoughtful, too. If he wanted to be married, she hoped he would find the right girl soon.
If only she felt for him what she did for Dierk.
She accepted the bag from Rolf and set it on the coffee table. Inside, she found a stripper pole kit, and instantly she doubled over with laughter. “Ohmygod, you’re ridiculous. Where did you find this?”
“Where anyone finds the most obscure, out-of-the-ordinary things: eBay, of course.”
“Well, thank you. I think. I can’t say for sure whether I’ll install it.”
A tense silence fell between them.
He cleared his throat. “Wynne, I know my brother hurt you, and I’m sorry. I honestly thought, after seeing you two together, that he’d break his engagement with Olivia.” Rolf shoved his fingers through his hair. “He doesn’t deserve you.”
“Hey, it’s my fault I got hurt, so don’t put the blame where it shouldn’t lay. He was honest and told me there couldn’t be any emotional entanglements. I was stupid and decided to start tying the knots.”
“I still don’t agree with what he did. Maybe some women can handle a situation like that, but you…” He looked away, shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “You’re different.” When his gaze returned to her face, it was full of emotion, the kind she’d longed to see in Dierk’s eyes.
Her heart slid to her toes.
Now she knew what it felt like to have unwanted affection directed her way. Talk about a turning of the tables.
A heavy sense of responsibility fell on her shoulders. Had she somehow encouraged this?
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She chewed on her lip, uncertain what to say next. She could read in Rolf’s body language that he was a little nervous. He stood sort of stiffly, like his a
rms and legs couldn’t bend. “Rolf, you fault your brother, and so I feel I need to be very honest with you. I like you, very much. I care about you. And I appreciate how kind and patient and supportive you’ve been since the very first day we met. But there’s something missing between us, and I don’t want you to be misled and think we might…things might go a certain way between us. It simply can’t. Even if your brother does marry someone else.”
“Sure.” He smiled, but the expression didn’t reach his eyes. “I just thought…fuck, I don’t know what I thought.” A wry smile on his face, he shook his head and started toward the door.
Wynne, feeling like shit, touched his arm. “Rolf. I wish things were different, that my feelings for Dierk would evaporate and I could fall in love with you. Because you are a good man. But that’s why I can’t lead you on, because you’re a good man and you deserve a woman who is so in love with you, she can’t live a minute without you.”
“Yeah.” He stepped through the door. “Happy birthday, Wynne. I hope all your wishes come true.”
“Thanks.” She started to close the door, but hesitated when he lifted his hand to stop her.
He said, “I don’t know if this’ll make it better for you or worse, but he doesn’t love her. He never has. And as far as I can see, she doesn’t love him either. But he’s too damn stubborn to break the engagement.”
“I don’t understand. If they don’t love each other, why are they getting married?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got all night.” She grabbed his hand and tugged, practically dragging him back into the apartment. “Please, tell me.”
“I will if you promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“Give me your word you won’t let him hurt you anymore. No matter what happens.”
No matter what? “You have my word.” She shook his hand, sealing the deal.
18
Dierk looked at the clock for the tenth time in the last hour. It seemed like every morning Olivia was returning home later and later, yesterday barely making it back before sunrise.
He was not jealous. He was not angry. But he was a little worried. With his venom pumping through her veins, exposure to sunlight would cost her a great price. She wouldn’t be destroyed like he would, but she would suffer some side effects, none of them pleasant.
The lock rattled. The doorknob twisted.
He could go to bed now. She was home. He started for the stairs. She looked rumpled, a satisfied smile lighting her face.
She was freshly fucked.
Saying nothing, he turned and continued up the stairs.
He supposed she was disappointed in his reaction, or rather, his lack of a reaction. Even though she didn’t love him, he knew she still wished to know he noticed and cared about her on some level.
He did. Just not on the level he would if she were another woman. A very special woman.
Still, this new arrangement they had agreed upon, which was only a slight adjustment to the first—a fact for which he was grateful—would suit them both. They would live together from this point on, but even after they married, they would not share a bed. She could fuck any man she liked. And Dierk would take any submissive he liked. There would be, however, and could be no lovers, no affairs that involved emotional commitments or feelings. That was the line they agreed would not be crossed.
On the surface, it seemed fair enough. They each had satisfied their obligation to one another. In time, he expected it would be good enough.
Olivia followed him, pausing at her bedroom door.
He glanced back at her.
As usual, her hair was a mass of tangled waves, and her makeup, usually perfect, was smudged around her mouth and eyes. Her clothes were hanging from her body but they weren’t fastened, revealing slivers of skin and black lacy underclothes beneath.
To the average man, he supposed she looked sexy, with those kiss-swollen lips and come-hither eyes. But to him, she looked used and tired and a little sad, and he realized then that maybe this arrangement wasn’t enough for her either, that fulfilling an obligation was worse than the consequences of failing.
“Hello, sweetheart,” she slurred. “Still awake, I see.”
“I am. Would you like a drink before retiring?”
“Sure, why not?”
They headed back downstairs together. She accepted a glass of Guignolet, a cherry liqueur she developed a taste for while living in France, and sat on the couch. He poured himself a scotch and sat across from her, in an armchair.
She took a sip from her glass and set it down. “Do you suppose we’ve delayed the inevitable long enough?”
“It seems,” he agreed, fully aware of where this conversation was leading. There couldn’t be another reason for her coming to him now.
“Every year, you propose we get married, and every year, I ask you to give me more time.” She leaned back, curled the fingers of her right hand over the arm of the couch. “This year I will not ask you that.”
“Then you’re ready to set a date for our wedding?”
“Oh, I didn’t say that.” Olivia stood, and confused, he watched as she finished the rest of her glass then walked to the bar to refill it. Once she returned to her seat, she continued, “It has been a very long time since you met me and so much has changed. Thanks to you, I’m not the frightened, destitute young girl I once was. I’ve gained wealth, power, and a great deal of wisdom since then. Who wouldn’t, after living for over two hundred years?” She chuckled, emptied her glass for the second time, and set it on the table. “You proposed out of a sense of duty, and I respect you for it, and for the many kindnesses you’ve shown me all this time, but I am ready now to reclaim my mortality and make my own choices.” She stood again, nodded. “There, I’ve said it, and I feel so much better. I didn’t think I would ever find the courage.”
Shocked, he immediately rose to his feet. He didn’t dare believe he was free. It would be too wonderful. “Olivia, are you sure? I won’t turn my back on you if you need my support, and the thought of your growing old—”
Olivia pressed her hand to his mouth. “Please, Dierk. Your venom has allowed me to outlive my sisters’ children, their children, and the children of their children. I’ve watched everyone around me grow from mewling infants to frail old men and women. And I’ve waited all that time for the one thing you have denied me: your love.”
“Olivia—”
“No. Don’t say it.” She turned from him. “I know you love me, as a brother does a sister.” When she faced him again, her lip was quivering, her hands trembling. “But that wasn’t what I wanted, what I craved.” She took his hand in hers. “Try to understand. I want true passion, a love that cannot be suppressed for fear it might destroy me if I hold it back. That kind of love I will never share with you, especially now that I’ve seen you feel it for another.”
“Seen? You couldn’t have seen anything, because I have done—”
“Please, Dierk.” She released his hand. “This is the time for truths. Don’t lie to yourself now.”
He stared into her eyes. They were dear eyes, and he saw so much in them. Respect. Appreciation. Gratitude. And encouragement. They belonged to a very dear and trusted friend and a woman who had once needed him so desperately, she’d been happy to accept a loveless match. But that wasn’t the case any longer.
Ironically, he wasn’t happy to accept a loveless match anymore either. Because, as Olivia had said, he had given himself to someone. He did share a love like she had described—how had she put it? A love that couldn’t be suppressed.
She pulled his engagement ring off her slender finger. “Don’t worry about me. I have everything I will need to live the rest of my days comfortably, thanks to your generosity. And I still have a young face and body and an irrational hope that I might find what you have.” She handed him the ring.
He gazed down at it, still unsure whether he could believe this was happening. When he’
d made his promise to Olivia’s father—to support his daughter, to provide for her, and to eventually wed her on the day she agreed to marry him—the colonies were fighting for independence from the king. That was a long time ago.
Since then, the world had changed drastically, but he continued to keep his promise. He kept her comfortable, provided her with a handsome income, as many houses as she cared to own, along with all the servants she would need to run them, and jewelry, furs, gowns, everything she desired.
Never had he expected the onetime penniless youngest daughter of a bankrupt baronet to one day decide to walk away from it all.
“Will you write to me?” he asked.
She smiled and nodded. “I will, if you like.” She hugged him, and he held her for the last time, loving her more than he ever had, for giving him the most precious gift anyone had ever given him. His freedom. “Good-bye, my dear Dierk. And thank you.”
He managed a final thank-you as she stood at the front door and waved good-bye.
“So, tell me.” Wynne was sitting on the edge of her seat, literally, waiting for Rolf to explain why Dierk was engaged to a woman he didn’t love. Who did such a thing these days, who agreed to marry someone out of duty? “Why is Dierk engaged if he doesn’t love this woman?”
“Because he promised her father he would marry her.”
“Okay.” She sat back. “So that’s it? He promised and so it’s done. I thought you said it was a long story?”
He chuckled. “I did. I’m just getting started.”
“Ah. Okay.” She positioned a throw pillow on the couch, and settled in nice and comfy, ready to hear the whole story. “Spill it. I’m ready.”
“Let me see. It’s been a long time since I told this story to anyone….” Rolf grinned when she shot him a warning glare. “Impatient?”
“Naw.”
“Her father was a baronet.”
“Baronet?” she echoed.
“It’s a title of honor, given by the king of England.”
“You mean queen? England has a queen,” she corrected.