I shuffle through a few more pictures of the girls through the years as I listen to Dyke tell me more about their childhood. He doesn’t have much to say about Rose. I’m not sure if that’s because he doesn’t have the information, which I doubt, or he knows that I’m in no hurry to hear it.
Stuffing the pictures back into the envelope, I start to go through the paperwork. There isn’t anything exciting, and nothing tells me what kind of life my mother had. Once I get to a thin stack of papers clipped together is when I see that I’m finally going to get some answers. I look up to Dyke, and he nods, confirming what I haven’t asked.
“Those are transcripts of therapy sessions your mother has had over the past twenty years. Mind you, there aren’t many, but I feel that what’s in there will help you understand why your mother did what she did. Brother or not, Hawk, what your father did wouldn’t have been tolerated by Devin if he had known—no ifs, ands, or buts about it. He’s lucky he’s dead.” He turns and walks away without another word.
I swallow the lump in my throat as I take in words.
Forced Penetration
Prostitution
Rape
‘Patient states ex-husband forced her to perform sexual acts with other men. The patient states that the ex-husband used threatening techniques. He used their minor child, Hawking Gentry, as leverage against the patient. Patient states this went on for several months before she decided to leave the situation. Patient declares that the welfare of herself and her son was at risk if she tried to part with the minor child.
Rose didn’t abandon me, no. She left to protect me.
Hawk
Have you ever felt like it didn’t matter how fast you were going, you’d never make it to your destination? How the road that’s stretched out before keeps going with no end in sight? Yeah, well that’s how I’ve felt for the past nine hours.
Once I pass through the last of the mountains, I see the same hazy city lined with buildings that look like their stacked on top of each other. Another few minutes and the cab of my truck fills with the stench of exhaust while blaring horns surround me. I twist my head on my neck, loosening the tense muscles that ten hours of driving creates. Flipping on the turn signal, I float through several lanes and get off on my exit.
As soon as the glass doors slide open, the cool air hits my face. It seems warmer today than it did the first time I came here. You know what they say, it’s always sunny in Los Angeles, and I’m beginning to believe them. I stop at the nurse’s station and wait for the nurse behind the counter to lift her head in acknowledgment. She is leaning over—a clear view of her small tits and barely their cleavage. When she’s done jotting in what I think is a patient file she lifts her redhead and her eyes land on me. She bites her lip, trying to hide a smile. Her eyes darken as she blatantly checks me out.
“Can I help you, sir?”
“I’m here to see Rose Calhoon. I know where her room is, so I’ll head over.”
It isn’t until I’m a few feet away that she calls out to me. “She’s down for tests. You’ll have to wait.” I lift my hand over my head, letting her know that I heard her.
As soon as I reach the door, I let myself in. The room doesn’t look any different. Entirely barren, void of anything that would signify that her children, my sisters have come to visit. I wonder if she ever let them in on how her life was or if she left that shit to her shrink. Dyke said her husband left her several years ago. Did he know what she went through? Did she ever talk about me? Do they know I exist? The anger and resentment that I’ve held towards that woman have seemed to weaken. They aren’t entirely gone, but now I’m curious to know why she thought she was saving me by leaving me in the hands of the one man who almost destroyed her. I have so many Goddamned questions in my head with high probability that they’ll go unanswered.
I’m at the window when I hear a squeak of rubber against the tile of the floor. “Come on, Rose.”
I turn around and watch as my mother is being willed into the room by a middle age Hispanic woman. My back is to the window, so I know that my face is cast in shadows. She’s wearing a lilac robe, a color I remember her wearing a lot when I was younger. Her elbows rest on each of the chair’s armrests, and her hair is pulled back away from her face, revealing the deep lines along her forehead and around the mouth. I take a step away from the window, and when she catches my movement, her eyes widen in shock as a gasp falls from her mouth. The nurse reaches for Rose’s shoulder, giving her a squeeze.
“Can I help you?” the nurse asks, eyeing me suspiciously.
“Hawking?” Her voice comes out shaky.
I take another small step towards her. “Hi.” I give her a little grin, not sure how to act.
She brings her hands to her mouth, and a sob breaks from her throat. “How?” Her eyes search my face. When they land on the leather of my cut, she squeezes them shut. Her shoulders shake as tears roll down her cheeks. “No,” she whimpers as she shakes her head uncontrollably. “No.” The slight sobs turn into loud cries. She’s shaking her head so hard that her hair starts to fall from the up-do she had it pulled back in. “No,” she says again as she continues to squeeze her eyes shut. “God, please no.”
My heart rate picks up, and I take another step towards Rose, not knowing what I can do to calm her down. “You’re going to need to leave.” I bring my eyes to the nurse who is giving me a death stare. “Now,” she growls.
“No!” Rose screeches. “No, no, no!” She starts to hit the metal of the wheelchair while she’s still shaking her head from side to side.
“What on earth is going on here?” Martha rushes into the room.
“She’s distraught.” The nurse pulls the handle of the wheelchair, turning Rose to face her. She kneels down, placing her hand on Rose’s knee. “Honey–”
“No!” Rose roars as she pushes the nurse away from her making her fall to her ass.
Scrambling to her feet, the nurse strides over to a plastic box that’s mounted to the wall near the door and unlocks it. She pulls out a syringe, pulling off the cap she turns back around and approaches Rose who’s continuing to shake her head. “Hold her,” she tells Martha as Martha secures her arm to the metal of the chair. “This will only hurt for a second, honey.” She says in a soothing voice.
As soon as the needle is inserted into her arm, Rose’s body slowly slacks in the chair. Her head falls forwards while her arms fall limp at her sides. The cries turn to whimpers before she’s completely still and quiet.
“It’s so much easier when they’re attached to an I.V.”
The nurse caps the needle and deposits into a red plastic container that’s next to the container on the wall.
“Letty,” Martha calls to the other nurse. “Go find, Tessa. Now, please.” Martha eyes me in warning.
“Sure thing.” She scurries from the room.
Once the nurse leaves Martha approaches a now resting Rose. “You need to help me get her back in the bed.” She snaps her fingers at me. “What do you think you’re doing?” she asks as she hoists Rose up from under the arms.
I take a step towards them. “Maybe I should get that end.”
“Maybe you should start talking and explaining to me why you thought it was a good idea to surprise her like that? Was that your intention? To give her a heart attack?” She tugs on Rose’s body as I lift her legs from the chair.
“No, that wasn’t my intention,” I say as I lay her feet on the mattress.
Martha walks over to the closet and pulls out a blanket. “I didn’t tell you she was awake so you could come here and cause her any distress.” She shakes out the blanket and settles it over Rose’s body. “She’s in a fragile state. She’s in recovery, not to mention the fact that she’s spent the past couple of days hallucinating that her long-lost son was standing in her room. Then, poof, her long-lost son shows up.”
“She’s been hallucinating?”
“Yes, that’s what I said. Why didn’t you call me to
tell me you were coming?”
“Tessa sent me a text.”
She nods in understanding. “That’s all I need to know.”
Before Martha and I could say anything else, Tessa pushes her way through the door. Her eyes instantly find me. “Hawk?”
“No way. Not in here.” Martha shakes her head. “My patient has had enough for one day. You guys take this outside.” She checks her watch. “You,” she points towards Tessa, “are off shortly. Why don’t you go grab your things, and you and Hawk can visit for a while? Rose needs her rest.” She turns towards me. “We can try this again tomorrow, but only if I’m with you when she first sees you.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She seems to like my answer because she gives me a smile as she walks towards us, swinging her arms, trying to get us to leave. “Tessa, I’ll be seeing you tomorrow.” She gives Tessa’s arm a slight squeeze as she walks by heading back towards the nurse’s station.
Tessa stops as soon as Martha leaves. “Listen, I can’t–”
I put my hand up, stopping her. I know she’s going to give me excuses and I’m not in the mood to hear them. “You don’t need to explain.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “What I was going to stay is that I can’t stick around. I need to get home.”
“To Sam.”
She bites the inside of her cheek. “I was thinking, maybe in a few hours, you can come by. Once he’s in bed for the night.”
I can feel my shoulders lift at her words. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ll text you.”
She steps past me, but I reach out and grab her arm. Her body stiffens again. It takes everything in me not to drop my hold. “Tessa, it’s me.” I keep my voice calm. “Listen to my voice.” I watch as she closes her eyes. “Hear me.” I can feel the tension leave her body. “No more running, Tessa. You say you’re going to text, you better damn well text. I’m not going back home without you and me sharing a few words. You hear me?”
Her head swivels in my direction, her deep coffee eyes study me. “I hear you, Hawk.”
Without warning, I tug on her arm until her body is flush against mine. My nose runs up her jawline, and she sucks in a breath. I press my lips into her temple. The feel of her silken hair against my face almost has me undone. “I’ll be seeing you, Tessa,” I speak into her hair.
I take a step away from her, and without another look, I leave my mother’s facility and head to my truck.
Tessa
The hardwood beneath my feet doesn’t help the ache I feel as I continue to pace back and forth in front of the couch in my living room. The silence is deafening but having the television on right now will make my skin crawl. I sent Hawk a text an hour ago, and there’s been no response. I’ve never been good with confrontation, which is kinda comical growing up with not only two brothers, but all the boys that hung out at Sienna’s. My heart drops thinking of my friend, and how her life was stolen from her. The ache I felt when I woke up in the hospital with my mother hovering over me with a look I’ve never seen before…
“If you had only listened to me. If you had only made the decision not to befriend her, then none of this would be happening.”
“Mama…” My throat feels like sandpaper as I try to swallow. The lighting in the room has dimmed, but I blink trying to make out my mother who’s leaning over me.
“Por el Amor de Cristo, for Christ’s sake. Drink.” She shoves the plastic cup and straw into my hand.
With every swallow I manage, the liquid begins to soothe my throat. The room suddenly becomes too bright, causing my eyes to wince closed.
“Ow, Mama.” I bring my hand up to cover my eyes. “It’s bright,” I whine.
She ignores me. “So many choices I’ve made in my life. So many regrets when you make those choices out of love and not out of common sense. My life went down the wrong path so many years ago, and because of you, I’ve had to stay on that path. To keep my family in tact, I’ve had to stay there. But no more.”
She’s not making sense, and I’m not sure because of my mental state or hers. “What are you talking about?”
“Just you wait, Tessa. One day you’re going to have to live a life based on things you have to do, and not on things you want to do. You’ll understand.” She takes the cup from my hand and sets it on the table next to my bed.
“Mama?” I squint, my eyes finally adjust, and I take her in. Her makeup is smeared beneath her eyes. Dark smudges are on her always pristine skin. There are stray hairs around her face, falling this way and that. She looks undone, and that’s one thing that Gloria Reese never is.
She leans over me, getting closer to my face. “Sienna is dead, Tessa. Devin and that Hound fell right along with her.”
“What?” I don’t understand that she’s saying. My heart slams into my chest. Images race to the surface of my mind.
The parking lot.
The men.
Fists slamming into my face.
Hands grabbing at my throat cutting off my oxygen.
Sienna kicking and fighting as they hauled her away.
Screaming, as I feel them tear through me, one after another.
“That club killed your friend,” she sneers, “and I’ll be damned if I see it kill you, too. Devin is dead, and I no longer have to continue on with this lie.”
I watch as she brings herself to her full height. Pulling on her wrinkled dress shirt, she turns on her heels and walking out of my room...
For days I tried to call my house with no answer. It wasn’t until the night before my release that I was visited by my father. Instead of love flickering in his eyes, there was only disgust. He didn’t even approach me, didn’t try to show me any compassion. His daughter. He stood in the doorway of my room, placing two large duffle bags near the door and tossed a white envelope on my lap. He told me to go. Not to ever come back. That I was no longer his daughter. The ties had been severed.
I was alone.
The sound of a knock on the front door has me stumbling over the rug. I stop at the door and take a deep breath. This is it, there’s no turning back now.
As soon as I pull the door open, I see Hawk standing there. He’s dressed in worn jeans with holes the knees, his infamous black chucks, a black T-shirt is covered by his leather cut. My heart spikes at the sight of it. A symbol of who he is. Of what I ran from.
His dark hair is cut short, styled with a blunt side part and gelled to perfection, something that has been covered with his hat the past couple times I’ve seen him. His eyes are what catch my attention the most. They always have. Picture an evening sky, right before dusk when the sun is kissing the horizon. How the sun makes the sky turn shades of pink and orange but the further away you get from the sun, the brighter blue it becomes. A soft, bright blue—crisp and calming before the darkness takes over. That is what Hawk’s eyes remind me of.
“Hey.” I stand back to allow him to enter my apartment.
His lips tug up slightly giving me his boyish smile. “Is Sam asleep?” He steps into my house.
“Yeah, he has been. I didn’t think you were going to make it.” I closed the door, securing it with the lock.
He turns towards me. “I wanted to make sure I gave you enough time.”
“For what?”
“To ready yourself before you give me the answers to the questions I’m about to ask.”
I close my eyes, and that’s when I feel his presence next to me. My body is so aware of his when he’s this close, and I think he knows it. When he takes another step to me, I can feel the coolness of his leather brush against the thin fabric of my shirt.
“How do you want to do this, Tessa?” His voice trickles to my ear. I can feel his breath on my skin, and it makes my pulse spike.
I take a step back, trying to gain my composure. I need to think clearly here, and he makes it so damn hard. The past feelings I had for this man hit the surface with such a force I know that I can so easily give in
to them and my fears all at the same time.
“Not gonna happen, Tessa.” His hand grabs my waist, not allowing me to go anywhere. “Not until you tell me how.”
“I–I’m not sure,” I say as I open my eyes and find him looking down at me. His stare is hard, and if I didn’t know him, I would be afraid, but I’ve never been fearful of Hawk. He has a way about him. Always has. He can make the evil seem right. The darkest of night seem as bright as the brightest of days. He’s never allowed the club life to hardened him. Well, at least not seven years ago, but I’m sure a lot has happened in that time.
“I need to know, Tessa. What happened? I need to know from you. Not the rumors, not the cops, but from you. Why did you leave?”
He takes my hand and pulls me into the house. Leading me to my couch, he has me take a seat. “Do you want something to drink?” he asks.
“Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be asking that question?” I get up, but the hand on my shoulder has me staying in place.
“I’ll get it.”
“All right, there are drinks in the fridge. Help yourself.” He comes back with two sodas and a smirk on his face. “What?” I ask as he hands me my drink before taking a seat next to me.
“It’s funny that you still like that Ruby Red Squirt.”
“Yeah, well, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I crack the can open and take a sip. The carbonation tickles my nose as I swallow it down. “As much as I love this stuff, I was hoping you’d bring me something a little stronger.”
He laughs as he shakes his head. I place my soda on the table in front of us and turn to face him.
“What do you want to know?”
“What happened the day at the mall?”
I wipe my hands down my pants. Martha is the only one I’ve told this story to, and that was years ago, but the time lapse doesn’t make it any easier. “What did you hear? I thought the club would know everything by now, Hawk. It’s been years.”
“Like I said, I want facts.”
Hawk_Devil's Fury Book 3 Page 9