When Sage finally found her breath, she removed her mask and continued. “She humiliated me, Quentin. After I had to outbid her for Ian by one hundred thousand dollars I might add, she confronted me in the hall and said I was having an affair with Ian. She called me a bed warmer.”
Quentin punched his fist in his hand. “I could strangle that guy for putting you in this situation.”
Sage threw up her hands in defense and pleaded, “Please, don’t add fuel to the fire.”
“So, needless to say, all of this brought on your attack?”
Sage nodded.
Quentin paced the confined area. “Ever since you met this man, you’ve had nothing but trouble with your asthma. He’s clearly not good for you. Now you’re having a secret affair with your client and his ex-girlfriend is attacking you? This is crazy, Sage. Is he really worth all this aggravation?”
Sage’s eyes welled with tears. Quentin was right. She didn’t even recognize herself. Her behavior of late was reckless and not like her at all. Since when did she become some sniveling, dependent freak willing to take whatever a man offered? Where was the focused, self-assured, independent woman she had always been? Where had that woman gone?
“Ah, baby, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Quentin slid back beside her on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. He held her to him and lightly stroked her hair. “I just want the best for you and this guy isn’t it.”
“But I love him.” Sage cried against his chest as she held on to him.
Quentin pulled back and looked down at her. “But does he love you?”
Sage lowered her head. That was the one question she’d avoided asking herself. “He told me he just wanted to enjoy us for as long as it lasted and I agreed.”
Quentin recalled a time before Avery when he was one of those no-commitment men, but not anymore. “But somewhere along the line you fell in love with him?”
Sage nodded.
“Have you told him?”
“I can’t.” Sage shook her head.
“You have to, Sage,” Quentin responded. “You can’t continue to live a lie. If you want more, if you want a relationship, you have to tell him. You’re denying what’s in your heart and you’re not being fair to yourself.”
Sage knew what Quentin was saying was true. She’d allowed this affair with Ian to go on for too long. He was making all the rules and she was going along and it was time she put a stop to it, no matter how it might sting. Ian needed to know how she truly felt.
“Is she okay?” Jeffrey asked from the other end of the line.
“Yes, she’s fine.” Ian paced the sidewalk outside the E.R. “Thank God. But Lisa, on the other hand, is another matter. I need you to do two things for me, Jeffrey.”
“What’s that?”
“One, wire one hundred thousand dollars into Sage’s checking account for the charity. And two, whatever it costs, get rid of Lisa. I don’t care how much. I want her out of my life for good.”
“Consider it done,” Jeffrey said. “How are you?”
“I’m fine now.” Ian ran his hand over his head. “It’s just that…when Sage didn’t respond to the inhaler…I panicked.” He stepped aside when several people sought to enter the E.R. entrance.
“You care for her a great deal.”
“I do.”
“Perhaps you should tell her so,” Jeffrey suggested. He had never seen Ian like this with any other woman. It was so clear to him how Ian felt about her, but for some reason his friend wouldn’t see it. “And that’s my two cents for the night. Give Sage my regards.”
“I will. Oh, and Jeffrey?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
When he returned to the E.R., Malik and Dante stared daggers at him. “How is she?”
“Fine. No thanks to you,” Dante returned and took a step toward him.
Ian didn’t blame him for being upset. He should have looked after Sage better and not allowed Lisa to ambush her, but he wasn’t about to let them gang up on him either.
“C’mon, Dante.” Malik grabbed his arm even though he would love to take a shot at Ian. “It’s not worth it and Sage certainly doesn’t want you two getting into trouble.”
“Fine.” Dante snatched his arm and walked away down the hall. He was furious with Ian and couldn’t understand how Sage would continue to allow herself to be treated this way especially by a man like him. She was usually so level-headed, so together, so sure of what she wanted.
Ian swept past them and pulled back the curtain. “How’s the patient?” He smiled at Sage and then glanced at Quentin.
“I’m fine,” Sage said, but then she thought about Quentin’s advice. “Can you give us a minute alone?” Sage gave him a weak smile.
Quentin hated to leave her alone but he nodded. He bent down, brushed his lips across her forehead and whispered, “Just be honest.” He gave Ian a withering look on his way out.
“Wow! Did it suddenly get cold in here or what?” Ian asked, rubbing his arms. It felt like the North Pole. “Because those guys—” he motioned to the curtain “—want to kill me.”
“They’re just worried about me,” Sage said, looking up at the man she loved. “And with good reason.”
“Why, is something wrong?” Ian rushed toward her, knelt down and grabbed her hand.
At the wild look in his eye, she patted his hand reassuringly. “The answer is yes. And no.”
Ian’s brow crinkled into a frown. “Is it your asthma?”
“No, it’s not my health.”
“Then what is it?”
Quentin’s words came to mind again. You have to tell him. You’re denying what’s in your heart and you’re not being fair to yourself.
Sage stared into Ian’s eyes and wished he would declare his love for her and put her out of her misery. But he didn’t, so she said, “It’s us. It’s this distorted relationship we’re in.”
Ian lowered his head. “I’m really sorry about Lisa. If I’d had any idea she was going to be there tonight I would have never invited you.” He felt guilty for what happened. If it wasn’t for Lisa, Sage wouldn’t be in the hospital.
Sage put her fingertips to his lips. “Let me talk, please. This isn’t about Lisa. This is about you and me.”
“But we’re doing fine, aren’t we?” Ian asked. “I thought you were happy.”
Sage didn’t know where it came from, but somehow she summoned the courage from someplace deep and she extracted her hand from his. “No, I’m not.”
“I see.” Ian rose from the floor.
Sage knew he didn’t want to hear what she had to say, but she had to say it. “From the get-go, I let you set the terms of our relationship. You said no commitment and I said fine.”
Ian turned his back while he digested the information. “But you weren’t?” He should have known. Dante had indicated that Sage wanted more, but he hadn’t cared. Yet, she should have been honest with him. “So you lied?” he asked, turning around to face her.
Sage shook her head. “No. Initially, I was fine with the arrangement.” When Ian looked skeptical, she repeated, “I was, but somewhere along the line, things changed for me.”
“What changed?”
“I fell in love with you,” Sage stated matter-of-factly and bunched her shoulders.
“Sage…” Ian tried to speak, but Sage shook her head.
“Listen, I understand you’re not capable of anything more. I’m not asking you to feel something you don’t feel. I know you can’t make a person love you.”
“I care a great deal…”
“Let me finish, please,” Sage interrupted him. She needed to get the words out. “I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I’m just letting you know that this affair or whatever it is we’re doing isn’t working for me anymore. That’s why I’m ending it.”
“You’re what?” Ian stepped back. He couldn’t believe his ears. Usually he was the one breaking up with someone, not the other way around. I
t was a little disconcerting. “I thought we enjoyed each other.”
“I do enjoy you, Ian. I enjoy spending time with you and I enjoy making love with you. But plain and simple, I want more. Don’t you get it? I love you.”
Ian shook his head. “Why must women want more than I can give? Can’t you see that I’m not capable of anything more?”
It broke Sage’s heart to hear him toss her love aside as if it was a mere inconvenience. “If you think giving me or any woman jewels and trinkets is enough, you’re wrong.”
“I know I can’t buy you, Sage. You’ve made that perfectly clear from the start,” Ian said exasperatedly. “But I thought we were similar creatures that were self-sufficient and didn’t need all that love stuff.” Ian hung his head low and his shoulders sank. “I guess I was wrong.”
“I thought we were and we do share some commonalities,” Sage said. “But…”
“So you want to end this? Despite how good we are together?” He didn’t want what they had to end and he stared at Sage for some sign of hope that they could continue the status quo, but there was a look of resoluteness on her face. One that signaled the end was near.
Sage wiped a tear from her eye. “I have to.”
“You don’t,” he returned stiffly.
Sage shook her head. She had to be strong. She’d walked away from the love of her life before and she would do it again, no matter how much it hurt. “Yes, I do because if you can’t give me what I want, what I need, what I deserve, then I’m going to find someone who can, someone who returns my love unconditionally.”
Ian was quiet for a moment. She was right, he knew, but it still stung. He enjoyed Sage and not just her body, but also her mind and her spirit. He’d seen such a fighter in her tonight when she’d refused to let Lisa win. He’d been even more attracted to her, but lust was not enough. Sage wanted love and Ian just wasn’t capable of love. He’d been without it for so long that not having it was second nature. If he cared for her, which he did, he would want her to be happy. “I understand,” Ian said finally. “And although I don’t like your decision, I will respect it.”
“Thank you.” Her eyes swelled when he turned to leave. “And, Ian?”
“Yes?”
“I only want the best for you.” Sage wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face with the back of her hand. “And I sincerely hope that someday you will find someone you can love and who makes you truly happy.”
When Ian had gone, Sage finally let out the sob that she’d been holding inside. And just like when she was a kid, Dante, Quentin and Malik rushed to her side. But this time they couldn’t make it all better.
Chapter 14
“It’s over between Sage and me,” Ian told Jeffrey Monday morning after they had finished a board meeting at Lawrence Enterprises. Frustrated, he plopped down in his executive chair.
“Really?” Jeffrey asked. He guessed he should have known. Ian had walked into the meeting ready for bear and bitten off several executives’ heads. Most had scurried out afterward, leaving Jeffrey to bear the brunt. “Did you let her down easy?”
“Actually, it was the other way around.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard right. Sage broke up with me.” Ian couldn’t believe he was saying the words aloud. He was still having a hard time digesting it even after restless nights spent sleeping on it. Not to mention the other body parts that craved her. All weekend, he had hoped Sage would change her mind and come back to him. She hadn’t.
“Wow! How did that happen?” Jeffrey exclaimed, taking a seat opposite Ian. “Saturday night she was buying you for one hundred thousand dollars.”
“Things can turn on a dime,” Ian responded, snapping his fingers. “I guess she realized life was too short to stay with someone who didn’t love her back.”
“She told you she loved you?”
“Yes, but unlike the movies, she didn’t say she couldn’t live without me,” Ian replied derisively. “Instead, she said she could and she would.”
“Must have been a blow to your ego.” Jeffrey chuckled even though he was sorry to hear it. He’d been sure that the one person who might get through to Ian, the one person he might finally open his heart to, was Sage. The poor dear had finally given up on penetrating Ian’s tough exterior.
“Don’t laugh at my plight.” Ian rolled his eyes at Jeffrey. “I really cared for Sage.”
“You just weren’t ready to say that you loved her.”
“Quite frankly, I doubt I could ever say those words to any woman,” he confessed quietly.
“And the case?”
“Sage is a professional,” Ian answered, not turning around. “I’m sure she will carry on and it will be business as usual. As if it she and I meant nothing.”
Or so he hoped, thought Jeffrey.
Sage wished she had the luxury of crawling into a hole somewhere and never coming out. Her heart felt as if it was broken in two. After her breakup with James, she never thought she’d put herself out there again. But she did, just with the wrong person.
She’d known it was a mistake from the start getting involved with a man like Ian. For men like Ian, women were interchangeable. She was a fool to hope he would realize she was the right woman for him that he would let go of the past anger he had toward his father and mother and allow himself to fall in love. She’d been wrong. Telling him how she felt hadn’t even given him a moment’s pause.
Her heart was broken. She didn’t force herself to put one foot in front of the other and go to work Monday. Instead, she stayed home and searched the Internet for news of the auction. She was sure someone must have heard Lisa’s rant at the charity auction or that she would be on the front page of some gossip rag, but she found nothing. Not one single word was in print about her and Ian. Sage thanked her lucky stars and took it as a good sign that she’d made the right decision to end their affair before her career became collateral damage.
She used the day off to run errands and finally pick up her bridesmaid dress at the bridal boutique. She was at the checkout counter when Sage’s BlackBerry vibrated. “Hello?” Patrick called to inform her that he had more incriminating information. Sage learned that Bruce Hoffman had ties to Lucas Johnson’s girlfriend, Gia Smith. Gia had been working for a consulting firm for the past eight years, but had returned to the States over a year ago. She and Bruce had served on a charity committee when she was stationed at the L.A. headquarters before being sent to New York a few months ago. Gia had returned much earlier to the States than she had led Ian to believe.
“And now he just so happens to harass her boyfriend?” Sage commented. “It doesn’t add up.”
“It sure as hell doesn’t,” Patrick said from the other end.
“You’ve done a great job, Patrick,” Sage replied. “Now I have a smoking gun.” And she knew exactly what to do with it.
After she hung up, she called her assistant. “Book me a flight to Los Angeles.”
“The situation with Lisa has been handled,” Jeffrey told Ian in the study of his penthouse that evening.
“Thank you,” Ian replied. “And I never thanked you for handling the pictures from the fashion show.” Apparently, one of the Craze photographers had shot several pictures of the argument between Sage and Lisa. “That would have been disastrous.”
“Yeah, well, it’s easy when you own the only magazine covering the event,” Jeffrey said, taking a seat and folding one leg across the other. “That was a pretty brilliant move on your part.”
“I had no idea that would happen when I made the offer, but I’m glad I did. Because now there may be talk, but no proof.”
Jeffrey smiled. “Though I must say, I’m surprised at how well you’re taking the breakup.”
“What did you think would happen?”
Jeffrey shrugged. “I don’t know.” Maybe for once, he thought Ian would allow himself to feel and see what Jeffrey already saw. He was in love with Sage.
“Noth
ing has changed, old boy.” Ian rose and patted him on the back. “I am still the same man I always was.” Even as he said the words, Ian knew he didn’t mean them. In bed last night, he’d been restless. He missed having Sage. But he was who he was and he couldn’t change, not even for her.
Sage smiled on her return flight from Los Angeles to New York Wednesday evening. Although it had been nothing like her first whirlwind trip, it had been very productive. The crucial person in the jigsaw puzzle of this lawsuit, Bruce Hoffman, had caved in and given up the dirt. Hoffman had not been expecting her, which was exactly what Sage had wanted because it worked to her benefit; he’d had no time to prepare.
She’d walked in confidently and informed him she knew of the ruse he, Lucas and Gia concocted to fraudulently obtain funds from Lawrence Enterprises. And if he didn’t stop this nonsense immediately, he’d be up on criminal charges. For all his bluster, Bruce Hoffman had immediately spilled his guts. He’d claimed Lucas and Gia had approached him with the elaborate scheme in hope of retaliation and revenge for all the perceived wrongs against them courtesy of Ian.
Given his dislike for Ian, Bruce had jumped at the chance and agreed to publicly harass Lucas so that he’d have a legitimate racial discrimination claim, but he didn’t want to go for jail for it. Instead, Bruce agreed to give up his shares of L.E. in exchange for Ian not pressing charges. Ian would finally have Bruce Hoffman out of his life and, in turn, the shares would just so happen to give him fifty-one percent of his father’s company. Sage was sure once he heard the deal, Ian would agree.
Sage was giddy with excitement at her handiwork. She’d outdone herself with this one and as much as she wanted to share the information with Ian, she couldn’t. Theirs was a professional relationship now and it would have to keep until normal business hours. Instead, she hopped in a taxi over to Dante’s for a hot meal and a shoulder to lean on.
He wasn’t there, but Quentin was. “Hey, what are you doing here all by your lonesome? And where’s Dante?” she asked, walking behind the bar and storing her briefcase.
If You So Desire Page 15