JAMES McFADDEN: He started off at Motherwell as my boot boy and I tried to help him as much as possible by giving him encouragement and guidance. I took to him straightaway. Yet, he used to slaughter me for only giving him a £40 bonus at Christmas. He casts that up every time we meet! When you looked at him he stood out immediately as he had a ponytail and would sometimes have red streaks through his hair. But his ability put all that in the shade. He was ultra-talented, blessed with a gift to play football. On countless occasions, I watched his spaghetti legs turn great defenders inside out!
His first game for the first team was during a pre-season and he played on the left wing. He was only seventeen and he went out there to prove a point as he felt he should have been given a top-team debut sooner. He quickly became a player that couldn’t be left out of the side and he earned the respect of the senior professionals very, very quickly.
He came from a tough part of Glasgow and you could see he was willing to work and fight to make his way in the game. A good boy and a right good laugh. Faddy developed into a Scotland hero and I’m delighted for him about that. A lovely lad with a fantastic family. We’ll be friends for a long time to come, that’s for sure.
Forwards
KRIS BOYD: I don’t think Kris got enough praise or enough respect from too many people in the game. I felt for him a lot of the time because the negatives in his game received too much attention. He got far too much stick at Rangers, but you have to have a high level of ability to score the amount of goals that he did. He was a ridiculously talented finisher, could rattle them in from anywhere inside the box with either foot. One of the best I’ve ever seen. To be the highest ever goalscorer in the history of the SPL says it all. Also takes a bit of beating when it comes to sticking away his pre-match meal!
Sure, he didn’t enjoy playing the lone striker role. He played up front on his own in a game at Celtic Park and he didn’t get a sniff. It was backs-to-the-wall stuff for us. He came off the park at the end and said, ‘That’s the best ninety minutes I’ve ever had at playing hide and seek, because I can’t remember touching the ball.’
During the many more productive games he had, when we had the ball he would position himself to get a goal. As his teammate, it didn’t bother me if he wasn’t running about daft and going into channels all the time. Goodness, the amount of time I had to do his running for him was frightening! But I knew if we got a decent ball into the box he would score. That was his job, and if every player was as lethal at their jobs as Boydy was at his, then the game would be in a better place.
I have so much time for him as a person and we are close mates. He’s a down-to-earth boy from Tarbolton in Ayrshire. He’s had a solid upbringing and I can see similarities between his dad and mine in the way we’ve been reared about the game of football.
Loves life and loves a laugh. Grew a moustache for a dare for the Scottish Cup final against Falkirk – that’s my kind of guy. Also spent nearly £10,000 on a new set of teeth, and if you can remember his old ones then it’s the best cash he’s ever spent. Has one ear higher than the other and that’s why his wife Christine calls him Shrek! Right, that’s enough of a pounding for him!
JOHN SPENCER: From the first day I met Spenny at Motherwell I took to him and looked up to him. Bubbly, funny, a great attitude and very kind. He made sure he took time out to speak to everyone at the club and was always pleasant to my mum and dad. When he arrived at Motherwell it was a great signing as he’d had a career down south at Everton and Chelsea. He knew the game and passed his knowledge on to me. He showed me the right runs to make and when to make them. That was massive in my development. He also helped me to relax in the footballing environment because it can be a very unforgiving place. I think he was a very good finisher and would be a great foil for Boydy. Spenny was a big influence on me as a footballer and as a person.
Substitutes
ALLAN McGREGOR: AKA Stiff Eddie or Chicken Legs! Up there with the best ever keepers this country has produced. An honest, hardworking pro and hates losing. Also fancies himself as a bit of a striker, so more back-up for the bench! I miss him and was sorry to see him quit Rangers. We’re in constant contact and I know he misses the club. I think he will be back playing for Rangers in the not too distant future.
ANDY GORAM: One of my heroes. Played with Andy at Motherwell. A nice guy and very funny. Also a top goalkeeper and used to show it training and in games – when he could be bothered to turn up! I’ll never forget his penalty kick save from Pierre van Hooijdonk in an Old Firm game at Parkhead.
ALLY McCOIST: Another hero of mine. Still loves to play in games and is still different class at putting chances away. In his heyday he won Golden Boot awards and his patter is also right up there with the best. Very witty. In training he liked us to call him the ‘Gas Man’ because when he came on as a sub he’d turn the heat up a few peeps!
STEVIE SMITH: Comes from Blantyre and he thinks that makes him as hard as nails. Aye, right! The wee man was unlucky at Rangers through injury when I was there but is a top player! Someone I got really close to and still am. Hard as nails in the challenge and a great crosser of the ball. Takes a bit of stick as he looks like Shaggy from Scooby Doo! Takes pride in his appearance, which also translates into Poser!
JOHN FLECK: Wee Square-heid, as we used to call him at Rangers, is a fantastic footballer. I was disappointed he didn’t fulfil his potential at Rangers but he’s still young and talented enough to play at the very highest level in the UK.
A lovely kid but not the brightest! I remember at our pre-match meal on the day we were playing Kilmarnock at Rugby Park to clinch three-in-a-row and Flecky was with me and Davie Weir. Considering what was at stake that afternoon, we were all a little nervous and started to talk about things other than football, to take our minds off the game. The chat turned to Fleck’s family and big Davie asked the wee man what his mum’s name was before she got married. Flecky was deadly serious and replied, ‘Christine. Why you want to know that?’ Me and Davie just buckled. We couldn’t stop laughing. I had to leave the room to calm myself down. But Flecky still didn’t get it. He then started to lose the rag and then said, ‘What are you two laughing at, ya couple of pricks?’ That just set the pair of us off again. Flecky was an unconscious comedian. His patter that day took our minds away from the big game, but in a good way. We went on, of course, to beat Kilmarnock and clinch another SPL title.
He had another cracker one day when in conversation he stated that I used to play for Wigan. I said, ‘Yes, that’s right.’ Flecky then asked me whereabouts in London Wigan is!
Flecky was my roommate and is a class guy. He isn’t daft but just doesn’t think before he opens his mouth! Obviously, he won’t have a clue what I’ve written about him – not unless the book is also out on audio!
WULLIE McCULLOCH: I was going to put myself on the bench but it’s best for the team if the place goes to my big brother, Wullie. When he was younger he was an amazing talent and had much, much more potential than me. He was a centre-forward and would regularly score fifty goals a season. Chose to go away from the game when he was at secondary school but that doesn’t take away his talent. Go on, Wullie son! He also made it onto the bench in Davie Weir’s Dream Team.
DAVID LAVERY: Big Disco Dave is my close mate. He has been my psychologist and my shoulder to cry on. Officially, he is the Rangers masseur and a very popular person. Would run through brick walls for any player at the club. And for Rangers. During the administration period he offered to also take a 75 per cent pay cut in a bid to help the club stay alive. For me, it sums the guy up. Incredible vision with his Homer Simpson-style eyes! Capable of opening up any defence with either one of his two left feet – if only someone would pass to him! That’s why he will get a run out!
Manager
WALTER SMITH: The only guy I can think of who’d have the respect of the dressing room in order to keep that lot in check! An out-and-out football man, with the knowledge and CV to sit in any comp
any. Was great for my career and also never really had to lose the plot with us. He had an icy stare, a knack of just looking at you in a certain way if he wasn’t happy with you. It was as though you’d taken a few slaps off of him without him having to lift his hand!
Assistant Manager
PAUL JEWELL: Would be a great no.2 for Walter. Was brilliant for us at Wigan and I’ll always be grateful for that. An old-school manager and he didn’t take any shite from any players. Fancied himself as a bit of a player and also liked a laugh at the right times.
Kit Man
JIMMY ‘THE KAISER’ BELL: He is Mr Rangers and loves the club more than life itself. Seriously. But is also a grumpy wee man. He is very close to Davie Lavery and they are seldom apart. The boys have often wondered if there is something going on between them! His son, Martin, is following in his footsteps, learning the trade as club kit man. Martin is a cracking guy and also loves the Bears.
OPPOSITION XI (4-4-2)
Goalkeeper
DAVID JAMES: I played against David a few times and always thought he was a top quality keeper. He had a huge presence and appeared to be a great communicator and organiser on the pitch. I scored against him twice – both times when he played for Portsmouth. One of the goals was a volley from the edge of the eighteen-yard box and it flew past him. Harry Redknapp pulled me at the end of the game at Fratton Park and told me I had scored with a special strike. We then played them at home and I scored the winner against him again and that gave me a real boost of confidence against England’s no.1.
Defence
SOL CAMPBELL: I played against him a few times and I rarely got a kick. He was such a strong and powerful guy, muscles popping out of areas of the body I didn’t even know existed. I would try to shield the ball, hold it in and lay it off as it came up to me, but he’d more or less just brush me aside and take possession. He was just massive and had a brilliant turn of pace.
ANDY MILLEN: I was a young boy, still trying to properly establish myself as a regular pick for Motherwell and a respected and capable SPL player. Andy had a solid career at Kilmarnock and Hibs. In one game at Fir Park – I think Andy was at Hibs – under the floodlights, Andy tried to demolish me physically.
At the time Hearts were linked in the papers with paying around £1 million for me, a move that never came off. Andy constantly kicked and elbowed me. He’d nip my skin at corner kicks, every old trick in the book. He also shouted in my ear, ‘A million pound for you, you’re not worth anything near that because you’re pish.’ Now, I don’t know Andy and I’m told he is a very nice guy. He was also a very good defender who maximised his ability to have a career in the game at a high level to play beyond forty. For that, I have total respect for him.
ARTHUR NUMAN: A Rangers legend. Great pace, great left foot and a wonderful person. I played for Motherwell on the right-hand side one afternoon, directly against Arthur, and he just kept bombing forward. He constantly had me on the back foot when the roles should have been reversed. I don’t think I got out of my own half at Fir Park that day. He was also a gentleman and spoke to me throughout the game, tried to encourage me, which I totally appreciated. A great career in the game and I’m surprised he is not involved in coaching at a high level because he has all the attributes.
RINO GATTUSO: Played for Scotland a few times against him when he was an integral part of that successful Italy team that won the World Cup in 2006. He also helped AC Milan to numerous successes over the years. Kept things simple but was so effective. Also loved to talk away to opposition players and his patter wasn’t too bad!
Came to Rangers as a kid and retained such a strong affection for the club. His career blossomed after Dick Advocaat sold him to Salernitana. A player who never gave up on the pitch and would be like a little terrier dog, snapping away at your ankles and never letting go. Had a magnificent career and worked hard to achieve all he did.
I’ve chosen quite an attack-minded team so Gattuso would be crucial in this line-up, to give the defenders some cover in front of them as the rest got on with their business of attacking the opposition.
Midfield
CRISTIANO RONALDO: Played against him for Wigan at home and away when he was at Manchester United and felt extremely privileged to have done so. He was lightning quick and had mind-boggling skill. A genuine world-class talent and I’d have loved the opportunity to play in the same team as him.
One lunchtime we were meeting at a hotel for a game and Manchester United happened to be using the same place. The bold Ronaldo got out of his car and waved over to me. I was delighted and thought, ‘Bloody hell, he must know who I am.’ Of course I had a Wigan tracksuit on and I’m guessing he was just showing professional courtesy to another footballer. He wouldn’t know me from Adam, although I told the boys he shouted, ‘Alright, Jig!’
LIONEL MESSI: The world’s best player came to Ibrox with Barcelona to play against us in a Champions League game. To be honest, by his own standards, he didn’t really do too much that night. Maybe I had him in my back pocket! The game finished 0–0. At the Nou Camp, I played on the left-hand side against him. I was meant to help out left-back Saša Papac. I ended up side by side with Saša, I just couldn’t get up the pitch as Messi was always in possession and going at us.
I often hear people say that defenders should just put him up in the air to thwart his threat, but it’s not as easy as that. I just couldn’t get close to him. Back then, in 2008, he wasn’t as big a name as he is now. He was still really emerging and developing into the world brand he now is on and off the park. But for such a wee guy, he really tore the game up. A wicked change of direction, wonderful quick feet, and you just can’t get near the ball when he’s in possession. He is like a PlayStation footballer. I tried a few slide tackles on him but ended up ramming into the advertising boards! There is no equal to him in the modern-day game and I’m truly honoured and humbled to have shared a football pitch with him.
PAUL GASCOIGNE: He is my hero and I was lucky enough to meet him at Ibrox and play against him. He elbowed me right on the nose at Ibrox during a game and I was delighted he touched me! My eyes were watering and my nose was bleeding but I just got on with it. I actually would have thanked him for it. An amazing player, and what a laugh off the pitch! Genius. When I tried to play against him, he’d do things I never expected. He’d show me the ball, leave himself wide open and I’d think I was going to go in and nick it from him. Then. Bang. The ball was gone and so was he. He’d be rampaging towards goal and I had tackled thin air. Total arrogance. But he had the ability to back it up.
Walter Smith often talked about him and how he used to float in and out of games. His concentration would wander and you’d maybe see him whistling or looking up to the sky. Walter, or someone else under instruction from the manager, would then have to have a word, cajole him, and ask him to get involved. Those few words would spring him into life and he’d invariably go on to become the match-winner. When he clicked few could match him.
I remember Barry Ferguson and David Graham nicked a pair of his boots when they were apprentices to give to me. I was very proud to have worn a pair of Adidas Predators with Gazza on them.
HENRIK LARSSON: Simply brilliant. One of the best strikers I’ve ever played against. I remember I played against Celtic one night for Motherwell in 1999 and they battered us 6–0. I think Henrik scored four. He was just ridiculous that night. It was the best performance I’ve ever seen a striker come up with when I’ve been on the same field. Our keeper that night, Stevie Woods, took some stick in the dressing room after the game. Some of the lads accused him of diving out of the way of Henrik’s efforts on goal!
His movement was different class. When I was a young striker I was told to try and learn from Larsson, study his movement and try to get anywhere near that standard he set. Different managers and team-mates told me to do it. It was all part of my education as a young professional. He had great all-round ability and very good pace.
Forwards<
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DUNCAN FERGUSON: A player I respected for what he could do on the park. And a player, quite frankly, I was scared of. He could kill teams off with his ability in the air and his presence. But having played against him a couple of times down south I also knew that if you got on his wrong side then he wouldn’t think twice about hooking you.
He played for Rangers and it didn’t really work out for him at Ibrox for different reasons after bursting onto the scene as a kid at Dundee United. He blossomed at Everton and also had a good spell at Newcastle United. He returned to Everton and I think he regarded Goodison Park as ‘home’. He seemed comfortable there and had an excellent rapport with the fans.
I know from talking to his former Everton team-mates such as Davie Weir, James McFadden and Gary Naysmith that they rated him ever so highly as a footballer but held him in higher regard as a person. That says a lot. I was lucky enough to meet him on an SFA coaching course in the summer of 2012 and he was a gentleman. He offered me advice about what to do when I stop playing and I valued his wisdom. He is a ferocious worker and I feel he will have a very good career in coaching and management.
THIERRY HENRY: I played against him in the last ever competitive game Arsenal played at Highbury. It was a great occasion and I felt privileged to be there with Wigan, providing the opposition on such a momentous afternoon. It was a lovely day and the pitch was like a bowling green. Cut into the grass was ‘Highbury’ and the date of the game. The atmosphere was unbelievable, like a carnival day.
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