by C. J. Duggan
“Is that … Kerry? Kerry Henderson?” she asked.
The moment the words tumbled out of Mum’s mouth I knew exactly who she was talking about.
Adam’s mum stood at reception, her hair shortly cropped and dark like her sons. She wore jeans and a fitted pink cardi set that kind of made her look washed out. It was the first time I had seen her since I found out that she was sick. I really wanted to go and put my arms around her and hug her so tight. Kerry had been like an adoptive mum to me, always dropping me off or picking me up from somewhere whenever my parents couldn’t. She was always the best movie night organiser, putting on spreads in the family rumpus room and checking if we needed anything to eat or drink. You would never go hungry or unnoticed at the Henderson house.
“She must be here for treatment,” I said, mainly to myself. “I’m gonna go say hi,” I said to Mum, and just before I could put down my tray something caught my eye. The automatic hospital door opened, and in walked Adam, car keys in hand, shades flipped back. Kerry turned around as he approached and smiled. Right before my butter chicken slid off my tray and went smashing to the bleach-white hospital floor, causing them both to turn and look my way.
***
There was no time to be embarrassed, or to worry greatly about the orange splatter that ran up my legs, or the cries of dismay from my mum who wanted to die a thousand deaths rather than be anywhere near me right now. I looked at it as an opportune moment to tear my eyes away from the likes of Adam’s shocked expression. All I could do was apologise frantically to the poor lunch lady who was on disaster control with her cloth.
“I am so, so sorry,” I kept repeating, but she seemed in good spirits about it, like she had seen this sort of thing a million times before.
Just when I thought the situation couldn’t get much worse two sets of feet stopped in my peripheral vision.
“Ellie? What are you doing here?”
I looked up to see Kerry Henderson smiling down at me, her eyes narrowed in confusion as if I was the last person she expected to see. My eyes shifted to Adam next to her, who looked on all stony and serious.
Yeah, well, she wasn’t the only one that was surprised.
Despite all the questions that were whirling around in my head, I managed to stand and do the one thing that I promised I would do. I stepped forward, dodging the curry sauce, and wrapped my arms around Kerry. Feeling her tiny frame under my arms, I wanted to hug her so much tighter than I dared.
I stepped away, blanching as I looked down at the mess I had created that was now smeared in circles as the cafeteria lady went back to the kitchen to get a fresh cloth.
“Lucky I never spilt anything like this on your beige carpet, Kerry,” I said, eliciting a laugh from her.
“No, just red cordial.”
I cringed. “That was me, huh?”
“Oh, I still love you, kind of makes me smile every time I walk past it. So what are you ladies doing here?”
“I came to see the specialist,” Mum began. “But I am on the waiting list until April; April, can you believe it?”
“Oh no,” Kerry said, authentically dismayed.
I kind of zoned out of the exchange of my mum’s medical dramas as I simply squared off with Adam, looking straight into his eyes. Barely believing he had lied to me about going away for the weekend; instead, he was here, in Maitland. Had he not wanted to see me? I broke away from his serious gaze, listening in on the end of our mums’ conversation.
“Did you hear that, Ellie? Kerry’s responding to treatment.”
“Really?”
Kerry nodded.
“Oh my God, that’s fantastic,” I said, hugging her once more.
“Yes, well, one day at a time, but the doctors are really pleased with how it’s going.”
I nodded like a fool, because I could feel, despite all my efforts, the tears welling in my eyes. I was so relieved, so happy to hear such great news, but equally as devastated about Adam refusing to even meet my eyes.
“I can’t tell you how happy this makes me, Kerry.”
Kerry smiled, squeezing my hand.
I took in a deep, steadying breath, overwhelmed and suddenly feeling closed in.
“Look, Mum, I better make sure our car hasn’t been towed.”
“What?”
“Yeah, remember the signage was pretty dodgy; the council are pretty fierce around Maitland.”
“Oh God, maybe we better go, I don’t want to risk it.”
“Okay, well, if you get your lunch to go, I’ll bring the car around,” I said quickly, desperate for an exit.
“We better get going too,” said Kerry. “Aw, Ellie, it’s so good to see you, next time you’re back in Onslow drop in and say hello.”
My eyes flickered to Adam, who still managed not to even say a word.
“I will,” I said, before heading for the door. It was like I could hear everything around me in slow motion, that there was a numbness I felt as I walked through the automatic doors, the fresh air hitting my face and stinging my eyes. I blinked, causing my vision to blur. All I could be aware of was the rise and fall of my chest and no matter how much time passed, Adam hadn’t followed. He hadn’t run after me, screaming my name and telling me to wait, that I had gotten it all wrong. But there was nothing and he was nowhere to be seen. As I walked up the long, sloping hill toward where our car was parked, the silence was broken by the buzzing in my pocket as my mobile chimed, alerting me of a text message, causing me to still in my tracks. Clumsily foraging in my jeans pocket, I pulled out my phone, my heart thumping with the hope that ‘Adam’ was displayed across the screen; instead, my brows lowered as I read:
Tess
1 Message.
Ellie, you better call me, right NOW!
Chapter Thirty-Three
“Ellie, what are you doing?”
I sat in the passenger side of Mum’s car, taken aback by the harshness of Tess’s tone. The question was more of an accusation, one that had me glancing around the interior of the car, confused.
“Sorry?”
“Look, I don’t know what you are playing at, and try as I might to be on board with you and Adam, but I honestly draw the line this time.”
What was she talking about?
Had I woken up in some kind of parallel universe where everyone around me spoke a different language?
“Tess, please speak English.”
“Ha! I honestly don’t know what is more insulting. The lying or the fact you think people’s emotions are just so bloody disposable.”
Okay, now I was getting mad. Between Adam’s betrayal and now Tess’s ranting and raving like a lunatic, I was about to seriously lose my shit.
“What. Are. You. Talking About?” I shouted.
“Rory. Fucking. Franklin,” Tess screamed back.
“W-what?”
“Just because we live in Onslow, Ellie, doesn’t mean we are completely backwards.”
I sat speechless, confused; really, really fucking confused. Tess must have guessed as much in my silence, hearing her sigh deeply.
“Page three of The Maitland Weekender.”
I could hear Tess’s voice over the phone talking about feelings and how could I do it to Adam, of all people? Her words became white noise as I absentmindedly murmured, “I’ll call you back.”
I slid out of the car, slamming the door behind me, not even bothering to lock it as I made quick tracking of the concrete under my feet, running mercifully down the hill toward the main entrance of the hospital, whooshing past Mum as she came out the door.
“Ellie, has the car been …”
“Not now, Mum,” I warned, skidding along the shiny floor at reception, thankful that neither Kerry nor Adam were anywhere in sight as I followed the corridor around to the left past the cafeteria, up to the end where the gift shop was situated between wards. A dear old lady sat behind the counter, placing her knitting aside and smiling at me with impossibly white and perfect teeth.
“Can I help you, dear?”
It took me a moment to gain my breath, spilling gold coins over the counter. “The Maitland Weekender, please.”
“Oh yes, that’s a good one,” she agreed, shifting from her seat and heading to the stand behind her at a glacial pace.
Come on, come on, come on.
I tried my best not to rip it from her hands, but by the time it was in reach I was almost beside myself as I pawed through the pages so fast I overshot page three entirely, cursing under my breath and getting a raised brow from the gift shop lady. There was no time to be sorry, no time to care as I peeled back the page to be confronted with page three.
“Fuck!”
***
“Well, I don’t know what you’re so upset about, it’s a lovely picture of you.” These were my mum’s best words to pacify me as my head thudded against the steering wheel.
“Rory Franklin.” Mum lifted her chin with pride. “Wait until I tell the girls at Bingo about this.”
“No, no, you are not telling anyone.”
“Why not? If I was dating Rory Franklin I would be screaming it from the rooftops.”
“Oh my God, what is wrong with everyone? I am NOT dating Rory Franklin!”
“Well, that’s not what The Maitland Weekender says.”
I could honestly claw my own face off in frustration. Because I knew, like my mum, like Tess, like, oh God, Adam—Adam must have seen this, it all was painfully clear now—yes, just like every single person in Onslow, The Maitland Weekender and everything in between its pages was the Bible; I knew it because I had thought so too.
I dragged the paper from my mum’s hands, ignoring the glimmer in her eyes as she looked over the article, already making plans to put it in her scrapbook.
With a deep breath and now a little less frantic, I looked over page three. There we were, the first pic standing together in front of the café, Rory towering over me, the next pic was us sitting down opposite each other outside the coffee shop, my arms crossed; I looked angry. The caption read: ‘Trouble in paradise?’ The third shot showed me laughing, like I was having the time of my life, when in reality I was laughing at how ridiculous it was to hire a Porsche for a date. But the last pic and probably the most deceitful of all was one of me leaning in, looking intently at Rory, my hands on the table top almost touching his from this angle. I hadn’t even noticed at the time, but kudos to the photographer who snapped the photo, just at the right time. It was just as Rory looked up, his baby blues captured perfectly at the right moment, as if a tender moment had been exchanged between us.
“My God, we look like we’re in fucking love.” It was so deceiving I almost believed I was dating Rory Franklin.
“I told you, it’s a lovely photo.”
I couldn’t even bring myself to answer her; instead, I read probably the most disturbing thing of all.
Franklin flying high with mystery blonde companion.
All-Australian, two-time Best and Fairest, Brownlow-winning full forward Rory Franklin might have fallen short at last year’s grand final against Eagles, but he certainly hasn’t fallen short in the love department. The two love birds were spotted having a romantic coffee in Maitland’s famous coffee district earlier this week. A source close to the friends say their union is very much on the down low, with the two keeping their relationship top secret. Guess we can only hope to find out more about Rory’s pretty plus one in the weeks to come.
“A source close to the friends? You have got to be kidding me.”
In a fit of rage that would make any two-year-old proud, I scrunched up the paper, shredding it within an inch of its life, reminiscent of Sarah Norman’s diary in high school.
“Ellie, stop it!”
I pushed the heap aside, my mum taking it from me as I gripped the steering wheel and blew the hair from my eyes. Mum was looking at me like I was some kind of crazed lunatic, which in all honesty wasn’t too far from the truth.
“Oh, now look what you’ve done,” Mum said, trying to flatten out the wrinkles and salvage the tears. “Honestly, Ellie, I don’t know what has gotten into you.”
I simply ignored her, instead starting up the car. Cool, calm and focused as I put the car in gear, thinking of only one thing over and over in my mind.
Tonight, I was taking Mum back to Onslow.
Chapter Thirty-Four
I dropped Mum off at home; I could tell she was worrying about me, she had as good as stared at me the whole way back, her unpredictable, crazed daughter. I don’t even think she needed to ask me where I was going, as she closed the door behind her and leaned in the window.
“Be good,” she said.
It was the one thing I couldn’t promise.
Despite having had to endure a silent, moody car ride with me, she was nevertheless grateful to be away from the city; wished I could say the same. The moment I had seen the Perry Ranges in the distance, it was like a dark cloud had settled over me.
The Ellie of old would have loved this, would have actually paid money to have my name in the spotlight next to some sporting God. But now, as I sat in my mum’s car outside the Onslow Hotel, thinking about all the whisperings and speculations, the way heads would turn if I walked through those doors right now, I honestly couldn’t think of anything worse. I wasn’t exactly a stranger to a rumour being attached to my name, and I’m not going to lie, many of them were self-inflicted and usually believed by the people who meant nothing to me, but now, the very thought of my friends believing the rumours, I just couldn’t stomach it. I wasn’t mad as much as hurt and worse still, the entire township of Onslow would know, and that was based surely on the gossip mill of Mum’s Bingo friends alone. I was seriously doomed. My weary eyes skimmed the long lines of cars along the drive. It was a typical Friday night, the Onslow was packed, there were people standing in clusters everywhere. Lingering near the entrance, sitting outside on the picnic tables, the place was pumping, and as expected all the usual suspects were here. Ringer’s car, Stan’s, Sean, Tony, Adam’s, Chris, even Max was back in town. A full brigade of Onslow Boys. Cold Chisel’s ‘Flame Trees’ filtered out into the night air, the music almost soothing in its familiarity.
Just breathe, Ellie. Just breathe.
Closing my eyes, I tried to think: do I go or do I stay? But just as I thought I had decided, readying to reach for the ignition to start up the Corolla and get the hell away from here, I was startled by two hands banging on the driver’s side window.
“Holy shit!” I screamed, winding down the window to see Tess standing right next to my car. I didn’t get a chance to abuse her for scaring me, she was already on her way around the front of the car, sliding into the passenger seat, closing the door behind her.
“What the …”
“Your mum rang me, said you were on your way.”
I closed my eyes, thudding my head back against my seat, cursing that woman.
“You didn’t have to come out,” I said lowly.
“Right, so what, just leave you sitting in your car, pining away for Adam?”
“I’m not pining,” I snapped. “I’m furious, at him and you.”
“Okay, so I might have been a bit quick to judge.”
“Ya think?”
“But in my defence, I didn’t know that your first date was such a disaster.”
I paused for a moment, thinking; I had relayed my date to Tess around the time of the engagement party. A time when I had tried my best to avoid her.
“So, how did you know that …”
“Chris told me, said you couldn’t stand the guy, and that there was no way in hell you would be on a second date with him.”
“Wow, who’da thought Chris would be my saviour.”
Tess sighed. “Just talk to Adam, he’s not mad, he’s just ...”
“Why should he be mad? I didn’t do anything, he has no right to be mad. I should be the one mad, he’s the one that lied to me, said he was going fishing with the boys and then wh
o do I run into at the hospital?”
Tess groaned. “Ellie, stop!”
“What?”
“Am I some kind of hostage negotiator in your relationship?”
I just blinked, trying to decipher what that exactly meant.
Tess rolled her eyes. “It was Chris’s turn to take Kerry to her treatment, but Adam offered at the last minute. I think he was planning to drop in to see you, find out why you were page three of The Weekender. He said that when you hadn’t mentioned anything on the phone about running into Rory he was pissed, but that’s it. Honestly, Ellie, I can’t see how you two are going to possibly survive long distance if you both don’t communicate with each other.”
I remained silent, the reality of Tess’s words sinking in about the complete communication breakdown between Adam and I. This was new territory; our relationship wasn’t casual friends anymore, it was so much more. One thing I knew was that we couldn’t go back, and above all I really didn’t want to.
“What am I going to do, Tess? I want it to work, more than anything.”
“Ellie, every single confusing, fearful thought you’ve had in the last week, I can pretty much guarantee that Adam’s felt the same thing.”
I rolled my eyes. “He’s a boy, boys don’t think like that.”
Tess laughed. “Yeah, maybe, but don’t forget the one thing you both have in common.”
“What’s that?”
“Me!”
I breathed out a laugh.
“Ellie, the point you’re missing is that I know both of you better than anyone, and I see everything, and unfortunately hear everything that you both tend to tell me; like, seriously, you two are the biggest whingers out there.”
“Oh, geez, thanks.”
“But I’m glad, because when you ask me things like what am I going to do? I kind of think I might actually be qualified to answer.”
I shifted in my seat, giving Tess my full attention as I looked into her manic, excited eyes.