CHAPTER FIVE
Being with Aunt Kenna makes me feel more refreshed and more relaxed than I’ve felt in weeks. However, the whole train ride home is filled with nerves of what Dad will say when I get in the door. I prepare myself to be yelled at, but Dad doesn’t grill me or lecture me and even allows me to stay home for the rest of the week.
My plan to spend my time off alone is disrupted on the first day when Dad asks me to work during my time at home. I knew he agreed to me staying home from school way too quickly. Clearly, he needed help on the farm, but I don’t mind the work so it’s not a big deal. After a few days of it, though, I’m completely wrecked and ready for a break.
Dad’s in the centre of town today, working our stall at the weekend markets, so I can finally have some time to myself. That’s what I think anyway until I hear a knock at the door.
“Allira, your boyfriend’s here,” Shilah shouts.
I want to punch him for the boyfriend remark. Drew and I haven’t even had that conversation, and now he probably thinks I’ve been going around telling everyone he’s my boyfriend. I pass Shilah on my way to the door and purposefully stomp on his foot. As juvenile as it is, it makes me feel better.
“Hey, come in,” I say, leading Drew to my bedroom so we don’t have to deal with more of Shilah’s teasing. There’s the slight chance he’ll hold this over me, having a boy in my room. I don’t think he’d tell Dad though—at least he better not.
I’ve only just closed the door when Drew grabs me around the waist and kisses me. It feels amazing, his hand in my hair, the other around my back pulling me closer to him.
“I’ve missed you. I wanted to come over sooner, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me,” he says as he pulls his face from mine but keeps his hands where they are so I can’t escape him … not that I want to anyway.
“I’ve wanted to see you,” I say shyly.
I feel incredibly guilty that he thinks I needed time away from him. He’s one of the only good things in my life right now, and I don’t want to do anything to ruin that. I want to tell him exactly that, but my heart is racing a million miles a minute. It’s hard for me to talk about my feelings aloud.
“I just needed some time alone. Ebb’s my best friend and going from seeing her basically every day and then not at all, it’s been a shock to my system. I’m still not used to it even though it’s been well over a month. I had a good talk with my aunt and ended up staying overnight, and I’ve just been laying low since. I don’t think I’m ready to go back to school, the stares were really getting to me.”
“I thought maybe I’d done something wrong.”
“You didn’t, I promise.” I kiss him so I don’t have to talk about how much he already means to me, showing him instead. We make our way over to my bed and lie down, our bodies intertwined as we kiss. Drew keeps his hands in appropriate places this time, and I immerse myself in his embrace. This is more my pace.
“It’s a shame you have to come to school on Monday, if this is how I’ll be greeted after not seeing you for a few days,” he says.
“I was actually hoping to help Dad a few more days, a week if he’ll let me.”
“Are you forgetting what Monday is? We have to go to the Institute.”
My stomach churns. I can’t believe it’s that time of year again.
I sit up, suddenly uneasy and anxious. Looking at the clock on my bedside table, I know Dad won’t be back for at least another hour, but I use it as an excuse.
“Oh crap! Dad’s going to be back any minute. I don’t think he’ll be very happy if he found out you were here,” I say. The words are over-exaggerated and so fake, I’m surprised Drew doesn’t call me on it when I grab his hand and lead him back to the front door.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” he asks.
“I think Dad wants help with the farm tomorrow, he’ll be at the markets so I’ll have to do all of the farm work.” It’s not a complete lie.
I’m being abrupt, but I always dread this time of year. I’ve been too distracted lately to realise, but now that I’ve been reminded, I just want to be left alone.
Drew gives me a brief kiss before leaving. I decide to get started on dinner early, leaving Dad’s and Shilah’s in the oven and taking mine to my room where I can be by myself.
I must’ve fallen asleep after eating, because I’m startled awake by yelling coming from the kitchen.
“Dad, that’s so unfair! She has so much more freedom than I do, there’s such a double standard,” Shilah exclaims.
“Now, Shilah, you know that’s not entirely true,” Dad says, still calm and rational.
“It is true. All I want to do is go out with the one and only friend I’m allowed to have. She goes out all the time, she even gets to have people over here, like today when Drew was here.”
Did he just say what I think he said? Did he just sell me out to Dad? I can’t hear Dad’s reply, but footsteps make their way down the hallway towards my room.
Shilah opens my door. I sit up in bed and stare at him.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean for it to come out, I promise.”
Before I get a chance to respond, Dad comes up behind Shilah, pushes past him, and grabs my desk chair. He moves it to my bedside and sits.
“Give us a minute, will you, Shilah?” he says, not taking his eyes off me. Shilah leaves and I swallow, hard. “What’s this about a boy being over here? It was that Stanley boy, wasn’t it?”
I stare at him blankly, unsure how to answer.
He sighs. “Do you really think bringing someone here, or even getting involved with someone is really the smartest idea, Allira?”
I hang my head. “No, probably not.”
“I don’t know what’s got into you lately, but it better not have been that boy.”
I shudder at his notion.
“You never used to be this reckless.”
“I’m sorry,” I say before going silent. Dad gets up and is about to walk out when my stupid mouth feels the need to defend Drew. “But it’s not like it’s any different than having Ebbodine over here.”
“With Ebbodine, you don’t have her hands trying to get into your pants and no hormones clouding your judgement.”
“I promise I won’t let Drew do that. We’re just spending time together because we’ve both been through similar stuff lately. That’s all, I promise.” I feel horrible lying to Dad about how I feel about Drew, but he would never let me go out with him otherwise.
“Just be careful, Allira,” Dad says as he walks out.
The Institute Page 12