by Audra Hart
I really like Fintan and his mother. Fintan has stayed with me many times in the several decades. He’s young, by Immortal standards anyway, being born in 1910, and has spent most of his adult life as an enforcer. But he’s funny, lively and intelligent as hell. I count him one of my best friends and always enjoy his company. He’s the friend who encouraged me to publish my stories. In fact, Damian is truly blown away when I tell him Fintan’s pen name.
“Hell, I thought it was an old dude that writes those books,” Damian says with a smirk.
Fintan just laughs, “Compared to you, I am old. Compared to Zana, I am just a pup.”
I laugh and squeeze Damian’s hand. “What does Zana mean?”
“Fairy,” Fintan grins.
I roll my eyes, “A lot of folks call me fairy or Pixie because I am short.”
Fintan grins. “No, that is not why, Zana. We call you that because you are tiny, lovely, delightful and magical. He turns and looks at Damian intently. “Not to mention, she is sneaky and dangerous as hell. She has put down a lot of your kind, be glad she loves you.”
I smack my friend and tell him to shove off. I can tell Damian really likes Fintan and Oksana, and I am relieved that they seem to like him as well. Actually, I am relieved that Damian seems to be well accepted by most of my friends that he has met so far and seems to accept them well. But I must admit I get tired of them telling him that I am some kind of Stone Cold destroyer. I quickly move the conversation back to Jennings and his recovery.
Oksana called a younger Dream Walker in to take over for me on the treatment of Jennings and my other really tough cases that I dumped to come be with my Clan members. Rinda and Carlisle are setting Vera up with counseling credentials and a job where I work so she can step in and take up my slack for me. And of course, my link with all of my patients will continue, no matter what dimension I am in.
All too soon they have to leave. Oksana has to go before the UCI to help defend one her so called Renegade Dream Walkers, the poor guy fell in love with a woman whose dreams he entered to help her heal after a brutal rape. They later married and the UCI started screaming that the Dream Walker abused his position and unduly influenced a mortal for romantic reasons.
It’s a bunch of crap in my opinion, being mortal doesn’t preclude someone from being able to know if they truly love someone or not. It really bothers me that so many Immortals treat Mortals like children. They may not live as long as we do and certainly don’t have our abilities or advantages… but they are not lost, mindless souls that need our intervention either. It’s an ancient debate, one I know will not be resolved any time soon so I return my attention to my friends.
I wish Oksana luck with the UCI and urge Fintan to give my regards to Ewan, his Laird and probable brother who lives in Oklahoma. “Your Laird lives in Oklahoma?” Damian asks, his surprise obvious.
I laugh, “Baby, Oklahoma, Texas and Louisiana are hub of preternatural activity. Ewan is sticking close to his mate and their child. It’s a long story, I will fill you in some time.”
Fintan surprises Damian by saying, “I am damn glad to have met you, vamp. You seem to make my little sister smile. I like to see her smile.” I chuckle, hoping this isn’t a prelude to a pissing contest but Damian takes the comment in the spirit it was apparently offered.
Later, we are enjoying our breakfast with Aideen, Carrick, Enya, Fionn, Brigid, George and Maria when Rinda makes it back to the Gateway. She quickly fills me on arrangements made for the Dream Walker who is filling in for me and assures me that Fintan and Oksana helped Jennings a great deal already. The Dream Walkers severed the connection between myself and Jennings so I am having to rely on someone else’s judgment about the wellbeing of a client. It’s a struggle for me.
I inwardly smirk because I really, really have control issues. Part of me wonders if I will actually be able to surrender total control to Damian in the sack like he needs. I know I want to. It would probably be a relief to not have any responsibilities in that area of our relationship because I have so many responsibilities in every other area of my life. Newcomers draw me away from my musings.
Elias and Micah come to drag Damian off for Ancient Warfare 101 and I settle in to enjoy a cup of coffee with my niece. When we feel a buffer spell go up and I quip, “Either she’s planning to kill him or love him. Fifty bucks on the latter.” I instantly regret saying it when I feel intense hatred flare off of Aideen. She quickly controls it and makes an excuse to move away from me.
I am watching her, feeling very worried when Almeda joins me. “I see you are worried about Aideen as well.” All I can do is nod. The conversation in the common room moves on to more innocuous subjects until Morna and Luca join us. It doesn’t take Aideen long to latch onto her mother like a rabid pit bull and begin insulting her. Apparently she is angry because she is going to Alfheim today with the Elves. She quickly escalates to physical assault.
We are all rendered speechless and act like statues when Morna leaves the common room and Aideen follows. For some reason that I will never understand, Morna places Luca in a binding spell before she runs out onto the plain. Damian gives pursuit, fearing Aideen will kill her mother. It’s obvious to all of us that Morna will not fight back and Damian takes his role as Morna’s protector very seriously. Several others take off after them.
I am floored by the intensity of emotions that I felt from my sister and her daughter. Morna was rife with guilt and shame, while Aideen was seething in jealous rage. I try to lift Morna’s binding spell from Luca, but few can undo Morna’s magic. She has always been much stronger than me and most other Spell Weavers. The spell Morna used won’t even allow him to speak but I can plainly feel his frustration and worry over his mate and daughter. I assure him that Damian won’t let Aideen hurt Morna and the others will make sure Damian isn’t too rough with Aideen. I also assure him I will go to try to calm everyone down.
I weave a finding spell to take me to Aideen. I am hoping I can make her snap out of whatever has a hold on her. I am afraid that she is being controlled by someone. I just can’t figure who or for what purpose, unless it is to hurt Morna and weaken us a unit. If that’s the case, it is an effective tactic.
When I join Aideen on the plain she has already beaten Morna very badly with wooden stave that had a damned metal hook on the end. I know damned full well that Morna let her daughter beat her. I have a sick feeling in my gut that Morna was hoping her daughter would kill her. That doesn’t make any sense and I am worried that Morna is being controlled too.
What the hell is going on? Who is strong enough to do this? I recognize that it would take very ancient magic to do this type of thing. Elves, so-called gods, Fae and Druids are the only ones who come to mind who are strong enough to attack Spell Weavers this way.
Damian’s anger and hatred for Aideen are only overshadowed by his fear for Morna’s wellbeing. I am very proud of my love for controlling his anger and not harming Aideen even though she deserves to have her ass kicked for her.
By now the emotions that I am reading from Aideen are more like her true self and I am more convinced than ever that someone is controlling her. I stretch out my senses, seeking a malevolent force that seeking to do her harm. I can faintly sense a power on another plane, but I can’t pin it down. I know the person or persons behind this must be powerful to be able to shield themselves from my powerful empathic abilities.
Dammit Bree! Think! Who is strong enough to do this? Who has something to gain from doing this? I just can’t figure it out and frustration and helplessness gnaws at my gut because I feel ineffective at protecting those I love.
When my beloved forces Aideen to carry her mother back to the Gateway and heal her I am very impressed with Damian’s wisdom and self-control. I can tell the other warriors in our group get it too. It will make Aideen see what harm she has done. But judging from the emotions I sense in my niece at this point, she is already full of remorse. She is also very confused and frightened by her own acti
ons.
Once Morna is stable the Elves take Aideen with them to Alfheim and Damian joins me in my room after he goes to hunt in an effort to deal with his anger. I had heard Luca yell at Morna earlier and then I felt him leave Gateway. I am very worried about those two, but at this moment, I am more worried about my own beloved.
I wrap him in my arms and try to send soothing emotions to him but I am having little effect on my potential mate’s feelings. “I wanted to kill her,” he whispers. All I can do is hold him because I completely understand his reaction, but I am not willing to verbally assault my niece in her absence.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I am not sure how long we stand there embracing before I reach up to cup Damian’s face. “I know how badly you wanted to make Aideen pay for what she did to Morna, leannan, but you didn’t resort to violence. I am so proud to be your mate because of that and everything else I am learning about you.” I kiss him chastely and say, “I am convinced that someone is controlling Aideen when she acts like that. I just can’t trace the source.”
Damian growls, “If she hurts Morna again and I may not be able to control myself, whether she’s being controlled or not.” I understand and don’t say anything. I am just praying nothing like this ever happens again.
After several long moments of silence between us, Damian pulls back and looks at my face; searchingly. “Baby, you said you are proud to be my mate?” I nod meeting his intense look. “Does that mean you accept me as your mate?” I smile and nod again. He looks happy but still sighs and says; “I haven’t told you just how fucked up I really am, Breena. You don’t know me well enough to make that choice.”
“Yes, I do. Damian, I meant it when I said I know things about people. I really do. I know your heart, leannan.” I smile and then pull his head down and kiss him. I finally let go of everything inside of me that I have been holding back around this man that I already love. When I finally break the kiss I am panting and on fire for Damian. I want him to make love to me more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. NO! I need him to make love to me. I am desperate for him to be inside of me, to claim him and to be claimed by him.
I erect the buffer spell around our room. I grab the hem of Damian’s shirt and peel it off of his beautiful body. I can’t help it, I actually purr when I see his beautiful chest and washboard abs. I weave the spell to protect my body before I say; “Love me, Damian. Make me yours. Let me claim you as my mate.”
He picks me up and carries me to the bed. He hovers over me, holding his weight off of me on his arms, as he covers me with the length of his perfect, hard and icy body. “Mon amour, are you sure? Is this what you really want?” I smile wickedly and nod. I want it more than I can articulate in this moment. “Baby, if we do this… it’s for keeps. My kind when we claim a mate, it’s forever. You get that, right?”
“The same is true with my kind, leannan.” I assure him.
“Breena, even after what I told you about Mrs. Leveau? My tastes, what I like to do is probably not what you are used to.”
My smile isn’t as certain now because truthfully what I suspect he likes I am not sure I am capable of giving it to him. “Damian, I suspect that you are a Dom at heart… and I have no idea if I am even capable of being a submissive. I don’t know if I want to be a submissive. I don’t know if I will like kinky sex. But even with those questions unanswered between us and can you really say you don’t want to claim me as your mate? Are you worried I won’t be enough for you? Because I am kind of worried about that too… But I really think the connection we have and our chemistry can see us through. I know you are my mate, and I want to claim you as such.”
He growls and kisses me so passionately that all coherent thought leaves my mind. When he trails kisses down my neck and then lies his head between my breasts and whispers; “Mon amour, you are everything that I want in a mate. I am not as warped as all that.” He pulls back and looks me in the eyes, “I am not Dom, per se, baby. But I do have a lot of those leanings. I do like to play a little rough sometimes. I will be honest I have a lot of fantasies about restraining you and even a few about spanking your beautiful ass.” He laughs when I gasp. “Does that scare you?”
“A little,” I admit. “I don’t have much experi…”
Damian smiles. “I am glad to hear that. We will find our way together. But I can promise you that I will never harm you, baby. I would never do anything to you that I wouldn’t make very enjoyable for you.” He caresses my face tenderly. “Just trust me, Breena. I have to have your trust. It’s essential to me. I need your trust more than I need control.” I swallow hard and nod, because I do trust him. I start to tell him that I have absolutely zero experience, that I am still a virgin when he leans in and kisses me causing all coherent thought to leave me once again.
He quickly stands beside the bed and moves to my feet to remove my boots and socks. “You are using that spell, right?” I nod. He massages my right foot and drags his thumbnail across the instep, making me gasp because it feels very sexual. He raises my foot to his mouth and gently bites my big toe on the pad of it and smiles knowingly when I shiver. “I may be kind of fucked up but I can make our loving very, very good for you, baby.”
His face becomes very solemn when he adds, “I will always respect and adore you, mon amour. Don’t ever worry about that. I will always treasure and protect you. No one could ever love you more than I will, forever.”
I tug my foot out of his hands and move to kneel on the bed before him as I pull his head down to kiss him. “I know, Damian. I do trust you. I trust you enough to love you even without the iron-spell but I want you to feel free to be yourself with me so I will use it when we love. But not because I am worried about protecting myself. I just want you to understand that.”
He cups my face and kisses me tenderly. “I do understand that, baby.” He gently pulls my top off and runs his hands down over my bare breasts onto my rounded belly. I stiffen up because I hate my belly, I never can seem to get it flat no matter how hard or how often I work out. He leans down and nuzzles his face into my belly and moans. “I love your curves, amour. You are beautifully rounded in all of the right places.”
I cradle his head against me as I moan at his words and the intimate feel of his face nuzzling my belly. He moves his face up and kisses me between my breasts before he cups them firmly, turning to kiss each breast in turn. “Your tits are perfect, Breena. Big enough to enjoy but not so big they look out of place on your tiny frame. And they are shaped perfectly. So fucking pert. I bet you can’t even trap a pencil under them.” I can’t help it I have to giggle. I have never tried that, but I bet he’s right.
He moves his fingers to roll each nipple hard, and then pinches them. He smiles knowingly when I gasp and moan. “I love how responsive you are. I can smell you, baby. Your cunt is already wet for me and that pleases me more than I can tell you.”
I shiver when he says that. I have always been put off by dirty talk and that particular word. But when Damian says it… Well, it’s different. I am not sure why, but it makes me hot. It makes me feel sexy.
He moves his mouth and sucks hard on my left nipple before moving to attend to the right one. I moan and clutch his head in my hands, I am blown away by how good his not-so-gentle-touch feels, how hot it makes me. I feel sizzling, intense need throbbing between my legs and I want him to hurry up and do something about that.
He chuckles. “I can smell your impatience, baby. Trust me to take care of you, to make you feel very good.” I nod, but feel disappointed when he steps back from me. I reach out for him but he shakes his head at me.
“Take your jeans off, Breena. But leave your panties on, for now.”
I slowly comply and I am rewarded when I see the fire in his eyes flare brightly as I kneel before him on the bed in only my panties. “Fuck, baby! You are so beautiful.” I blush and move to cover my breasts from his scrutiny suddenly feeling very shy.
He peels my hands from breasts and holds
them gently in his own, shaking his head. “Don’t ever hide from me,” he growls hoarsely. “You are perfection, don’t ever hide your body when we are alone like this. Let me look my fill. Allow me to savor your beauty. Breena, you are Aphrodite!”
I chuckle, “I look nothing like Aphrodite. She’s tall and blonde and much curvier than I am.”
“Who gives a fuck,” Damian growls. “I have never seen the woman. I am just coming to realize that she’s a real person. So let me rephrase, you are flawlessness, perfection, absolutely the most beautiful woman in existence. My perfection… you are completely lovely in face, form and demeanor. You are perfection.”
That small voice in my head that is always so critical of myself and everyone else makes a snarky comment about Damian’s overuse of the word perfection, but I slap her down and tell her to be silent. If Damian thinks I am perfect… then I am perfect. At least for him. At least in this moment.
My whole body is quivering at his words. I don’t understand why I am feeling like this… my whole body feels taunt, and achy…. I need… I need him. A tear rolls down my cheek and I whisper my beloved’s name. “Damian, hold me.”
He quickly moves to wrap me into his arms and says; “Shhh baby, why are you crying?”
“I am afraid,” I admit.
“I’ll never hurt you, amour. I promise.” He kisses the top of my head as he lovingly caresses my back.
“I am not afraid of you, Damian. It’s just that I have never felt like you are making me feel and that’s what scares me. I feel… achy, needful and all tied up in knots.”