I never was graceful when I’m intoxicated. It’s deja vu as she tumbles on top of me once again. “Oops.” I chuckle, as I cup her face and pull her lips down to mine.
“Oops.” She says, mockingly before sliding her fingers through my hair and licking her lips seductively as our mouths inch closer and closer together. I feel a feather of a kiss brush against my lips, and then Brooklyn tries to pull away.
I’m not settling for that kiss. When I kiss her, I have to consume her. Taste every inch of her mouth. Especially since, if all goes as planned, this will be the last time I’m ever with her like this. I fist her hair and crash her lips to mine before rolling her on the bed beneath me. Instinctively, her lips part, giving me access to her mouth which tastes intoxicating as I lick the inside of her mouth and tangle my tongue with hers. She tastes like sweet liquor, instantly making my buzz intensify.
She moans into my mouth as my erection presses into her sweet spot. I feel her body stiffening beneath me, and I know she’s only a second away from an orgasm. She’s wound up tighter than a fucking yo-yo. I tug on the mess of hair tangled in my hand and suck gently on her tongue while grinding myself hard into her. Within seconds, she’s moaning into my mouth as I feel her body jolting beneath me before going limp.
Her breathing is hard and fast as she slowly pulls herself back together. I stare down at her taking in her soft features. She blinks a few times and just like that her expression goes from relaxed and content to furious.
Is she pissed at me for taking our kisses further than intended or pissed at herself for enjoying it as much as I did?
“Fuck, Dixon. Since when does a good night kiss include an orgasm on the side?” She’s gasping to catch her breath as she pushes against my chest, rolling me off of her and climbing off of the bed.
“Hey. You seemed a little wound up, so I helped resolve the situation.”
“You’re crazy. Now look at you. You’re about two seconds away from busting through your shorts. That has to be painful.” She looks as if she’s enjoying my painful situation I’m in right now as a smirk plays on her now red and slightly swollen lips.
I tilt my head, pressing my chin to my chest as I peer down at my bulging dick that’s ready to break through my zipper. “Umm, yup. Pretty painful. You think you could help me fix this situation?” I ask, lifting my eyes back up to her and grinning like the Cheshire cat. I so want her to rectify this situation. I’m a complete and total fucking idiot. I think I’m going to get ‘Just One More Time’ tattooed on my fucking forearm seeing that it’s turned into my motto with Brooklyn.
Shaking her head, she laughs down at me before leaning over the bed, resting her hands on my thighs, making my dick only throb harder. “If you would’ve asked me an hour ago, the answer would’ve been, hell-freakin-yeah. But, now? I’m thinking maybe for once, Dixon, I’m gonna leave you hanging like you’ve left me one too many times while you ditched me for silicone Barbie. And let’s not forget the infamous Cece, who you decided to try and hook up with just hours after you were with me. If you want me on your dick ever again, I suggest you step up your game, Playa. Because you just got played.”
I think my jaw is officially dislocated from my mouth, and I may have jizzed in my shorts.
Fuck. She is hot when she is pissed off. But, dammit, why does she have to take it out on my dick? It’s never done anything to her but make her come harder than she’s ever come in her entire fucking life. This is the thanks and appreciation it gets? Fan-fuckin'-tastic!
Of course, it’s exactly like I’ve thought all along. She’s keeping score, remembering every little thing I do when I’m not with her. Bed buddies don’t do that shit! We just fuck when there’s no one else around. How does she forget the golden rule?
Propping myself up on my elbows I narrow my brows up at her, “Seriously? You’re gonna make me suffer from blue-fuckin-balls right now because I was out partying with other girls? Last I checked we’re just fuck buddies, Brooklyn. We never agreed on being exclusive. That wasn’t part of the deal. Which from where I’m laying, you are the pot calling the kettle fuckin’ black. Your pussy is getting a lot of action from more than just my dick.”
Brooklyn glares at me, pressing her lips together, before pushing herself off of my thighs and stomping towards the bedroom door again. “You know what? Ughh! Go fuck yourself, Dixon!” Before I can say anything, she’s storming out of the room slamming the door making me flinch.
Well. That didn’t go as planned. And, as a matter of fact, I plan on fuckin’ myself thanks to you leaving me sitting here with a fucking raging hard on! Why couldn’t I get that out before she slammed the fucking door?!
Rolling off of the bed I drag my drunk as into the bathroom, strip out of my clothes and crank up the shower. I don’t know whether to be pissed off or turned by what just happened back there. Brooklyn has fucked with my head to the point where I think I’m actually losing my fucking mind.
She did me a favor tonight turning me down, because what little will power I had flew out the window after she walked through my bedroom door. At least now I won’t be waking up regretting anything. One of us had to put a stop to this because you can only crash and burn so many times before there’s nothing left to salvage. Hopefully, since it was Brooklyn who walked away tonight, we can stop this merry-go-round we’ve been trapped on for the last several weeks and finally walk away from one another for good.
Stepping under the spray of the shower, I roll my head trying to loosen up the tension in my neck. My dick is throbbing as I fist it in my hand. I prop one arm against the shower wall while I work the other up and down my length. I tighten my abdomen as I work towards my orgasm. Closing my eyes, I try to picture anyone but Brooklyn. But as I jerk myself harder and faster, feeling my balls tighten in anticipation of coming all over the shower floor, it’s Brooklyn I see: naked, dragging her nails down my chest as she rides my dick like the fucking sex goddess she is. I come hard as I let out a loud groan and rest my head against the tiled wall, jerking every last drop of cum out as memories— that look more like the hottest porno I’ve ever seen—flash behind my eyes.
I’m so fucked.
Chapter Twelve
Brooklyn
To say that things have been awkward between Dixon and me since our fight at 3:00 a.m. would be putting it lightly. I’ve tried my best to pretend it never happened because the last thing I want to do is have Savannah or Kayden realize something happened between us and then have to explain it all.
I woke up praying that Dixon drank so much that he’d forget the whole thing. But judging by the way he avoided me this morning, he remembered it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. Of course, Kayden planned a super sweet getaway this afternoon for Savannah with all of us tagging along to go swim with dolphins. Savannah and I were left in the dark about where we were going, but Kayden, Jax, and Dixon knew all along.
By the afternoon, things between Dixon and me seemed to be getting a little bit back to normal. We were back to our flirt and bicker routine, which made me hopeful that maybe he really listened to what I said and would want to possibly talk later about where he wants things with us to go. Sadly, that didn’t happen.
Right now, Dixon, Jax, and Kayden are all getting ready to go out to some bar on the beach that they always go to when they’re in the Bahamas called Charlie’s On the Beach. A helicopter is coming to pick them up in a few minutes to fly them to the main island while Savannah and I stay here with Jerome.
I slept like crap, and I woke up with the need to drink a million cups of coffee just so I wouldn’t feel like a zombie all day. Once we got out on the water with the speedboat, and then swam with the dolphins, I started to feel rejuvenated but now I’m officially exhausted and completely wiped out.
Slipping into my bikini, I grab my phone and headphones before heading downstairs to grab a glass of wine. Dixon and Jax are sitting in the living room chatting with one another, completely oblivious to me even though I’m walking
around practically naked! I guess their brains are too distracted thinking about the girls they’ll be hooking up with tonight. I swear to God, if Dixon brings a girl back here, I’ll kick his ass, then toss him into the fucking ocean so the sharks can feast on him.
I fill my glass to the brim and pad across the bamboo floors barefoot, making an extra effort to shake my ass as I pass by Dixon and Jax. Ignoring Dixon, I give Jax a sweet smile, before exiting through the French doors that are open, allowing the warm ocean breeze to blow into the house. I bring my glass up to my lips and take a few sips of my wine before setting it on the edge of the hot tub. I prop my phone up against my glass and pop my headphones into it scrolling through until I find Pretender by the Foo Fighters. It’s a loud, depressing music kind of night.
The water is perfect, and the jets feel amazing as I sink into the hot tub. With my earbuds in I rest my arms along the sides and let my body float in the water. Resting my head against the cushioned headrest, I close my eyes and try to drown out my thoughts of Dixon and what he’ll more than likely be doing tonight at that bar.
I keep spotting Dixon walking around through the large windows that open up the living room, which offer a magnificent view of the ocean, but also a full view of the hot tub where I am right now. I can feel him watching me, and it’s only pissing me off more. Even though I told myself not to turn around and look at him, my eyes betray me, and I find myself turning my head and looking through the window at him. Kayden has now joined them, and they’re all holding a shot up. They tap their glasses together before downing the amber liquid. I suddenly find myself wishing I had an extra tall shot glass right now because wine isn’t cutting it.
Moving my phone, I grab my glass and take a long sip, all the while my eyes continue to stay locked onto Dixon. Why does he have to look so good? It’s as if the more pissed off I get at him, the hotter he becomes. It only infuriates me more. When I look at Dixon, my body hums with desire for him. My heart does somersaults in my chest as I watch him let out the sexiest laugh.
He looks amazing right now with his hair damp and slightly styled. He’s wearing dark jeans with a tight fitting Hank William’s Jr. Concert tee and a sexy as all hell belt buckle. I never thought belt buckles were hot until I saw Dixon wearing one. Now I fantasize about undoing Dixon’s belts and ripping his pants off of him on a daily basis.
I swear I’m a glutton for punishment. I should be looking at Jax. Fantasizing about him. He’s the safe choice. The right choice. I see the way women look at him. I know he’s had his fair share of women since moving to Houston, only he keeps his love life private, unlike Dixon who doesn’t seem to care about Instagraming pics of him and every skank he’s ever hooked up with at the clubs. Sadly, I am one of those girls he’s posted pics with and I’m ashamed to say I’ve saved them to my phone and looked at them one too many times to get myself off while away filming.
Savannah, walking out onto the deck and towards the hot tub, is the perfect excuse I need to stop torturing myself. I force my eyes away from the window and plucking my earbuds out of my ears as I tilt my head towards the house asking her, “So, Knox is going too, huh?” I’m still holding my wine glass hovering it in front of my lips. It’s taking every ounce of self-control I have to not chug the entire fricking glass down right now.
Walking over to me, she leans on the edge of the hot tub folding her arms and resting her chin on them as she smiles at me sympathetically. I hate that she’s looking at me that way. I’m always wild, crazy, never serious Brooklyn. She needs that person to help lift her spirits. Not the Debbie Downer I’m being tonight.
“Yes. I insisted he go out with them. He’s either been with me or working; that’s it. Other than his fishing trip, he’s not done anything. It’s not healthy for either of us; we need to try and get back to our normal lives. I can’t live every day in fear of Zak, or I’m going to drive myself and Kayden crazy.” I open my mouth to try and tell her she isn’t driving Kayden crazy. She’s crazy for even thinking that but she throws her hand in the air shushing me before I get a chance to get a damn word out.
“And another thing, you need to pull your head out of your ass! If you want Dixon, tell him. Don’t play games Brooklyn. You know better than anyone he’s a player. You need to lay it out there for him. Tell him you can’t do this casual…whatever the hell you guys are doing, because you’re falling for him! You have an amazing guy standing in that living room who wants to be with you. Jax is nothing like that man-whore standing beside him. He’d love you and cherish you every single day of your life. Can you say that about Dixon?”
Well, there goes my fucking willpower. Squeezing the stem of my glass, I bring it to my lips and tip my head back downing every last drop of wine in the cup. Lifting it from my mouth I stare at it wishing the magic wine fairy would flutter by and fill my glass for me. I need about three more of those right about now.
I feel my chest start to grow heavy, making it hard to breath. I slowly breathe in and out through my nose, fighting back the tears that are pooling in my eyes. My eyes are burning as I beg for them to stop. I can’t cry. Crying will prove that I am in too deep. I slam my glass back down, hard, as anger rages through my body. I’m angry with myself, with Dixon, with Savannah for making me talk about this.
I just want to pretend things with Dixon and me never happened. All I want to do is go back in time and undo everything I’ve done. I should’ve just called it like I saw it. He is dangerous to me, my life, and everything for which I’ve worked. I should’ve run as fast as my stiletto covered feet could carry me and never turned back. But, of course, I’m attracted to hot, cocky, assholes. I need to feel that rush, feel the high, and the all-consuming need to have more of him. One time has never been enough.
I wanted the bad boy. I wanted to experience it all, the highs and the lows, with Dixon. I got all of that and more over the last several weeks being with him. Only I got in way over my head. I broke my number one rule: Never fall in love.
Lifting my eyes from the bubbling water up to Savannah, I tell her with anger and sadness laced in my words, “Don’t you think I haven’t said all the same shit to myself, Savannah? I’m not stupid.” As my words leave my mouth, a tear escapes and drips from my face into the bubbling water below. I let out an aggravated sigh as I swipe my hand across my cheek. I never cry. The fact that I’m crying over a fucking guy is making me even angrier!
I’m not one of the girls who are weak and feel empty without a man in their lives. I love my life. I love my freedom. I only have room for one love in my life, and that is acting. It’s my dream, my passion, and I’m too close to finally having everything I want to allow a guy to destroy me and warp my priorities.
Walking around the hot tub, Savannah stops beside me and wraps her arms around my shoulder, all the while keeping her eyes on the guys through the doorway, making sure they don’t come out.
“I’m sorry, bestie. The last thing I meant to do was upset you. I just don’t want to see you throw away a chance at happiness because you’re so busy chasing after a man who’ll only cause you pain and heartache.”
“Believe me, if I could just walk away from Dixon, I would. Hell, I am not blind! I know Jax is amazing. It’s just with Dixon I feel something I’ve never felt before. As soon as he enters a room, my breath is immediately knocked from my lungs. I feel as if a million angry bees are swarming in the pit of my stomach. I’ve used Xander and Jax as a fun distraction with the hopes that maybe Dixon would get jealous and maybe decide he wants to be exclusive. But that hasn’t happened, and probably never will.”
“Well, I think you need to think long and hard about what you want to do. I think the first thing on that list needs to be a long discussion with Mr. Beaumont over there.” Savannah says swinging her thumb towards the house, pointing at Dixon.
Turning off the jets, I climb out of the tub and grab a towel, wrapping it around my body before pulling Savannah in for a hug.
“Thanks for being my best
friend, Savannah. It kills me to think there was the slightest chance we couldn’t be here right now having this discussion. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.”
I feel Savannah take in a shaky breath before we release one another. Stepping back, I notice her eyes are tearing up too. We’re one hot mess of freaking estrogen tonight.
“I love you B. We’ll be BFFs even when we’re old and gray...that I promise you! We’ll be toothless nursing home roommates that’ll spend every day chasing each other around in our wheelchairs. Sixty years from now, we’ll look back at these moments and laugh about all of our wild and crazy days.” She says, laughing.
That helps lift my spirits hearing her talk like that. I can’t help but roll my eyes at the toothless part. I need my teeth if I’m going to be like Betty White, acting when I’m in my 90s. “Toothless? Really? Remind me to floss daily, will ya?” I joke, helping to lighten the mood.
We’re both in a fit of laughter when the boys all join us out on the porch looking at us with puzzled looks as if they missed the ending of a good joke. “The pilot’s here with the helicopter, so we’re going to head over to the tarmac,” Kayden says, pulling Savannah into his arms and fluttering kisses across her neck before planting a big kiss on her lips.
Of course, I can’t resist busting his balls.
“God, enough with the PDA, Knox, get your asses outta here. Savannah and I have a wild and crazy night of horror movies and popcorn waiting for us.” My voice is dripping with sarcasm as I smack Kayden on the chest playfully before locking eyes with Dixon. He’s wearing a cocky grin that I’d love nothing more than to smack off of his face right now. Narrowing my eyes at him, I lean over, grabbing my wine glass and phone as I hear S.E.X. begin blasting from it.
Heart of Dixon Page 12