Heart of Dixon

by Danielle Jamie

  Dixon’s cocky attitude quickly dissipates as he hears Savannah say, “Tell Xander he only has a few minutes because you and I have a date with Freddy Krueger tonight!”

  Perfect timing, Xander. I’m in desperate need of a distraction. And thank you Savannah for making it perfectly clear to Dixon, who’s texting my phone.

  I’m suddenly feeling a little bit better because, by the look on Dixon’s face just now, there’s no doubt he’s jealous of Xander. He gets to feel what I’m feeling right now as I think about him going out and partying with girls all night long. I can only hope that’s all he’ll be doing.

  Dixon

  “You’re seriously bringing both of these girls back to the house?” Kayden asks with a dumbfounded expression plastered across his face.

  Nodding I lean against the bar and take my last shot before we call it a night and head back to Kayden’s island. “Sure am. Two is always better than one my friend.

  Laughing, Kayden smacks me on the arm, “Two is also better than none. At this rate, I think you’ll be learning that testament the hard way because I’m pretty sure Brooklyn is going to chop your fucking balls off once you enter the house with Blondie one and Blondie two.”

  “Brooklyn will get over it,” I say, rolling my eyes and tossing back my shot, “Wooh! Now, let’s get out here, Knox. It’s time to bring the party back to your place.”

  Kayden lets out a loud sigh before following me over to our table where Jax is sitting with my two dates for the evening.

  “Ladies.” With a big grin spread across my face, I stick my elbows out motioning for them to each hold onto an arm. Even though I know Knox is right, and Brooklyn is going to flip her fucking shit when she sees me come back to the house with these two girls, it’s what needs to be done.

  Mission: Make Brooklyn Hate Me is in full effect.

  Twenty minutes later, our helicopter lands, and we all climb out and head towards the Jeep where is Jerome is sitting. Wasting no time, we all pile in with Jax sitting shotgun, and Kayden and me in the back with my dates for the evening squeezed in between us.

  “I can’t believe you own your own island. You have to be seriously loaded, right?” Darlin’ on my right asks me as her long fake nails slide down the front of my tee.

  Shrugging my shoulders, I turn my eyes towards Kayden, “Sorry ladies, sad to say this is all my cousin, Kayden’s. But don’t you girls fret his casa is mi casa.”

  They both giggle obnoxiously, and I laugh along with them as Kayden glares at us. I don’t care how annoying they are. They make up for it in looks and hopefully with their talents in the bedroom.

  Finally, we pull up to the house, and all of us stagger inside as we make our way towards the staircase. As soon as I see the stairs, my mind flashes memories of Brooklyn and me last night. Her sweet laughter and witty attitude she kept giving me while dragging my drunk ass upstairs loops over and over through my mind.

  I need to forget about her. Push every thought that attempts to pop into my head as far away as possible. It takes a lot of effort, but we all finally make it up the stairs. But not before Kayden trips up the stairs once making us all laugh so hard I swear I almost pissed my pants.

  “I’m glad I’m not as shit faced as you Knox because I gotta show these two ladies what it’s like to ride a real cowboy.”

  Darlin’ number one squeezes my bicep and brushes her tits against me as she tells me, “I just love your accent, it's so sexy.” Her voice is slightly high pitched, but I try my best to ignore it and focus on her tits. They’re all that matter right now...and her suck my dick like a Hoover vacuum lookin’ lips.

  All the alcohol flowing through my veins makes me a little more vocal than usual as I blurt out with a deep chuckle, “Thanks, Darlin’, I find these perky tits of yours sexy.” Licking my lips, I pull her tighter to my side and plant a quick kiss on her lips. She's wearing the sticky fricking lip gloss I hate but thankfully we wore most of it off at the bar tonight.

  “What about me?” Darlin’ number two whines.

  I can hear Jax snickering behind me. Asshole. He’s already on my shit list for hookin’ up with my girl...with Brooklyn. Fucking makes my blood boil, but I need to stop thinking about that shit. Let him have her.

  “I think he loves both of your knockers equally, baby,” Jax says sarcastically as he walks around the outside of us and joins Kayden in front of us as we climb the rest of the stairs.

  “Jax your accent is so freaking sexy too! Where are you from again? England?” Darlin’ number two asks for I think the fiftieth fuckin’ time tonight.

  Does every girl I screw or plan on screwing have to try and get into bed with Jax too?

  Stopping in front of his door Jax smirks at her, “Close…Australia. Good night ladies.”

  Kayden continues to stumble down the hallway before stopping beside my door and propping himself up against the wall. His mouth begins to open, but no sounds come out before the sound of a door opening stops him from talking. He clamps his jaw shut and turns to see Brooklyn peeking her head out of her doorway.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  I was hoping to get into my room before she had the chance to make her presence known. Time to brace myself for the destructive fucking tornado also known as Brooklyn.

  “Can you guys shut the fuck up? People are trying to sleep ya know!”

  “Sorry, we woke you Brooklyn, we’re all heading to bed now,” Kayden tells her sympathetically or at least attempts to because his words are all jumbled and slurred together. He did way too many shots tonight thanks to Jax deciding it’d be fun to do drinking games at the bar.

  Thankfully she appears to be too tired to notice or care that I’m standing in the hallway. She’s just about to the shut the door when Blondie on my left arm leans into me and whispers loudly into my ear, “Wow someone needs to show that girl how to let loose. Talk about being a bitch. Who sleeps on the weekend?” I’m too drunk to have any intelligence and find myself laughing at her comment.

  Shit.

  Brooklyn rubs her eyes and steps out into the hallway narrowing her gaze onto me before sliding her eyes that now look like burning infernos onto my two house guests.

  Shit.

  I hear the click of another door and out pops Savannah’s head. Fucking wonderful. Let’s have the whole house come out into the hallway!

  “I see you found some skanks while you were out.” Brooklyn spits out with distaste evident in her voice. Her lips curl up in a mischievous grin as her eyes focus on the girls and seem to be blocking me out entirely. “Little tip for you two, this one,” She says suddenly swinging her thumb towards me.

  Fuck. She’s hot when she’s fired up.

  She continues, “He’s tiny…like this little.” She laughs, holding her thumb and pointer finger up with about an inch space between them.

  What? First STD’s now a tiny dick! This chick never stops!

  Resting one hand on her hip she points her other hand towards the staircase, “You’re better off leaving and pleasuring yourselves than spending the night with this asshole—plus, he only lasts five minutes...if he’s lucky.”

  I shake my head in disbelief. She has lost her God forsaken mind! Sabotage is definitely her new fucking nickname.

  Kayden suddenly bursts out laughing his ass off as he falls into the wall and begins coughing in his hand, to try and epically fail, to hide that he’s laughing at this fucked up situation right now. I shoot daggers at him with my eyes which shuts him up. He gives me an ‘I’m sorry’ look as he attempts to calm his stupid ass back down.

  I spot Savannah covering her mouth as she tries to hide her laughter too.

  Everyone laugh it up. Enjoy the show.

  I knew something like this was bound to happen, but still I continued time and time again to sleep with her. I even tried to last night because I think with my dick way too fucking much.

  Clearing my throat, I furrow my brows at Brooklyn before turning to my dates who, thankfully, ar
e so drunk that they are letting everything Brooklyn says go in one ear and out the other. “Don’t listen to her ladies, she’s just jealous y’all are going to be spending the evening in my bed and she ain’t.” I tell them before bringing my eyes back to Brooklyn’s. A flicker of hurt flashes in her eyes, but as quickly as it was there, it’s gone and replaced with anger once again.

  I prepare myself for another tongue lashing—God, there goes my mind in the gutter again as I think of Brooklyn giving my cock a good, hard tongue lashing.

  What the fuck is wrong with me?

  I’m finding my dick getting hard by the minute all because of Brooklyn standing out here trying to embarrass the hell out of me and ruin my night. Why do I find her jealousy so damn hot?

  Brooklyn surprises me by spinning around and storming back into her bedroom, slamming her door so hard it vibrates and echoes throughout the hallway.

  “Well, ladies. Where were we?” I open the bedroom door and even though it feels all kinds of wrong I lead them inside, shutting the door and locking it behind me.

  I walk the girls back downstairs almost an hour later and ask Jerome to set them up in one of the spare rooms downstairs for the next couple of hours. He assured me they’d be on the first flight off of the island as soon as the sun was up.

  I’ve sobered up a bit, so I easily make the trip back up the stairs a lot faster than I had earlier. It seems quite still as I make it to the top, so I think I’m in the clear. But, to my surprise, as soon as I begin to turn the doorknob to my bedroom I hear Brooklyn’s door pop open once again. At first I tell myself just walk back into your room.

  Don’t even acknowledge her behind you.

  But, of course, my body betrays me, and I find myself turning around coming face to face with a very hurt and upset Brooklyn.

  “I swear if I never see you again…It’ll be too soon.” Brooklyn spits at me as tears stream down her face. She’s standing outside her bedroom door in nothing but a silk robe. Even though I just had a night of hot, wild, no holds barred, meaningless sex with two strangers, I find my dick twitching with desire for her.

  I’m an asshole.

  She knew this from the start.

  I thought we were both on the same page, but seeing her standing here looking completely devastated, I know that we are not even in the same damn book.

  I say nothing.

  I just stare at her from across the lavish hallway of my cousin Kayden’s mansion here in the Bahamas, where we’ve come to escape the media circus that is my cousin and his girlfriend Savannah’s lives right now.

  There’s no reason in sugar coating it. I’m a world-class douchebag.

  For a while, that made Brooklyn want me even more. For a while, our hook ups were working out perfectly. But now I see that I was fooling myself. I should’ve stuck with my original plan to avoid this chick like the plague. Instead, I let my guard down and allowed myself to become trapped in the seductive and sexy web she weaved.

  It was hard to tell who the player was and who was being played because we both were in denial that things between us would ever turn serious or get messy. Only now, with me seeing the ‘Never take life seriously and never settle down’ Brooklyn shooting daggers at me across the hallway while salty tears zigzag down her cheeks, I know one thing for sure: I’m officially the douchebag who played my cousin’s girlfriend’s best friend and possibly fucked up everything at the worst possible time.

  The most fucked up part is while I was screwing the two chicks only five minutes ago; I was imaging Brooklyn’s body riding mine and her lips kissing my lips. She’s here, and she wanted me. What did I do? Like a big douche, I pretended she meant nothing to me, went out and found two chicks, and brought them back here knowing Brooklyn would flip out and get pissed off at me. I knew she might even retaliate by fucking Jax just to spite me.

  But still I did it anyway.

  Yep, I’m a world-class douche, and the biggest asshole you’ll ever meet. You ask, why did I do it? Why did I bring these girls back here tonight? Well, because I’m a fucking idiot and wanted to hurt her. I want her to hate me. I want her to feel her stomach twist into knots and have disgust consume her when the thought of being with me crosses her mind.

  Why? You ask again, would I do this if I want this girl more than any girl I’ve ever met in my life?

  The answer is simple.

  Because she’s made me fall in love with her.

  I don’t do love.

  She told me she didn’t do relationships, and sure as hell didn’t do love. Brooklyn told me time and time again that she loves her freedom and loves to fuck. She was totally okay with us hooking up whenever there was no one else around to scratch that itch. But the moment I flew to Los Angeles to be with her, I knew I was in over my head.

  The final nail in the coffin was the moment she saw Savannah lying in a hospital bed on life support. She turned to me and crumbled in my arms. She looked to me for comfort, and I gave it to her. That was the worst mistake of my life because at that moment, while I held her in my arms and told her everything would be okay, I felt my heart stammer in my fucking chest and an ache build in it that was so painful it made it almost impossible to breathe.

  At that moment, I felt pain because she was feeling pain. I knew right then and there that I was fucked. I was falling for her. The only way to stop it before we got in too deep was to push her away and make her hate me.

  The last thing I ever expected though was to see her walk away from me and straight into the arms of my friend, Jax.

  I inhale a painful breath and drop my eyes to the floor before turning the doorknob and entering my bedroom. I shut the door leaving Brooklyn alone, seething with anger, on the other side out in the hallway.

  Pressing my back against the door, I lean against it and close my eyes as I try to will the piercing pain in my chest to go away. I rub circles against my chest as I wait for the pain to cease. It feels as if someone has punched their way through my ribcage and is squeezing the life out of my heart.

  Brooklyn Bennett has fucked up my life.

  I’ve turned into a pansy who has to imagine another woman while fucking someone else just to blow his fucking load. And now I’ve had to try and adapt to the continuous pain in my fucking chest every time I’m around her. Lord help me. I will get over her and find the Dixon I was before she crashed into my life.

  She’s just a chick.

  I’m Dixon Fucking Beaumont.

  I don’t fall in love.

  I fuck.

  End. Of. Story.

  The only way I’m going to shake this is to avoid Brooklyn and that magic fucking vagina of hers that’s cursed my fucking dick at all costs. Breaking her heart is the last thing I want to do, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Brooklyn

  I stand stunned as my eyes stare at Dixon’s bedroom door. How foolish was I to think he felt what I was feeling? I should’ve stayed as far away from him as I could the minute I started feeling something stronger towards him than sexual chemistry.

  Slamming my bedroom door, I fall against it as hot tears continue to fall one by one down my cheeks. My body shakes against the cool wood as my cries consume me. I grip at my robe squeezing my hands into tight fists as I try to hold onto anything that’ll help keep me afloat in this storming sea of heartbreak I’m drowning in.

  I hate what he is doing to me. This person I’m turning into...I don’t even recognize. I wipe away my tears and pad across the wooden floor towards my bed. I rip my blankets back down and slide into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin.

  My lips quiver as I feel my heart shattering in my chest. I attempt to blink away the tears. It it’s useless as they continue to fall one by one, dripping onto my pillow. My chest rises and falls fast as I sob uncontrollably into my pillow. I can’t believe Dixon slept with those two skanks with me right across the hallway. I love him and to know he doesn’t love me back...well...it just kill
s me inside.

  This is why I’ve kept my life simple. It’s easier to not fall in love than to do so and deal with the devastating aftermath. People are fucking stupid if they are naive enough to say falling in love is amazing and worth the risk. Right now, the pain I’m feeling is excruciating. It’s as if Dixon punched his way through my chest and tore my heart out with his bare hands before tossing it on the ground and stomping all over it; before stepping to the side and allowing those two skanks to finish it off.

  Now I know why so many women settle in life. It’s smarter to settle down with a good guy that is viewed as your ‘safe’ choice rather than a guy who screams ‘heartbreaker’. I don’t understand how my life has turned into the mess it is. I move to Texas, and my whole fucking world flips upside down. I should’ve stuck to dating shallow models, actors and man-whoring rock stars. At least we both knew it was always just for fun and knew there was no possibility of us ever falling in love.

  Here I lay in my bed, in the Bahamas, bawling my eyes out over Dixon Fucking Beaumont. The world’s biggest douchebag, heartbreaking man-whore! How the hell is it possible to love and loathe someone so strongly at the same damn time?

  Then there’s Jax, who has the biggest heart and always there when I need him. Sure, he doesn’t make my heart beat out of my chest when we’re together but he can please me just as good in the bedroom. Shouldn’t that be what matters the most? Having a guy who’s loyal and also amazing in bed? Who needs butterflies, and dancing hearts to be happy with a guy?

  Maybe I’ll say: 'Screw all men,' and go back to my old ways of working my ass off in the day and meaningless hookups at night. Life was a whole lot simpler that way. Maybe moving to Texas was a mistake. I thought moving with Savannah would be an adventure down a new path for us full of possibility, but in the end, it’s been my undoing. The idea of moving back to Los Angeles is looking very appealing at the moment.

  I’m too exhausted and too spent from crying to think anymore. I’ll decide what to do once we return to Houston. For now I need to try and sleep and forget about Dixon. If only I could forget ever meeting him and especially forget ever falling in love with him.