by Kaia Bennett
Blood everywhere now, in the air, in our mouths. He swirled the liquid over my skin and moaned into my throat like a desperate man. Like a man trapped. Inside my mind, an imaginary key slid into a lock and I opened the door to another guarded part of Jesse.
You’re mine now. I’m the one who fucks you. I take what I want, vampire.
You picked the wrong witch.
I roared and tore him away from my throat with borrowed strength. Jesse’s strength. I gripped both hands around his muscled neck and pushed him flat onto the bed again. My pussy encircled his cock like my hands encircled his throat. I rode him like a wild woman, holding on as tightly as I could while I sought to wring his last breath from him.
Sweat-soaked, dripping and smeared with blood, I fucked the leader, and he gripped my hips in a frantic, silent request for more. He had no say now, he could only be taken. And I took and took and took, until finally, I screamed and the sound of my voice crackling on the air as I threw my head back broke something in me.
I wailed like the dying. I wailed like every victim I’d seen on this hellish trip before their untimely end. I wailed, because in that moment, a part of me did die. At the same time, a part of Jesse came to life. I felt the shift in him as readily as I felt the stroke of his shaft deep inside my core. I cried as I came because nothing had ever felt this good. Nothing had ever rivaled this drugged-up, fevered dream of want and need, and violent disgust for wanting and needing him. I rode him until death became the resurrection, until my captor became my lover, and he gasped like a wounded animal caught in a snare. He roared in defiance of the power I’d pulled from him, the come I wrung from him. He fought the furious spike of life I shoved into his heart with my body and my mind, my power raising and claiming his humanity at last.
I released his throat, slid off his dwindling cock, and rolled over. We lay side by side, legs dangling over the edge of the bed, minds dangling over the edge of some strange new abyss. Bloody, sweaty, and heaving in breath, we didn’t touch. The room swayed and in the distance I heard Liam and Vaughn rushing towards their own finish. The steadying breath, the reckless speed of Jesse’s heartbeat kept me separated from the others.
“We’re equals now.”
Jesse inhaled deeply. I felt his tongue swipe his lips like they were my own swollen pair.
“You think so, witch?”
I rolled over and met his gaze. In the reflection of his completely black eyes I saw my own. The whites of my eyes were gone. I looked for all the world like a vampire—or I imagined I did.
I lowered my gaze to his lips, pressed my mouth to his, and whispered in his mind with every lick of my tongue over his.
I’m not your pet.
I’m not your next corpse.
I’m your equal. If you can’t acknowledge that, kill me now.
“Maybe I will.” Jesse whispered against my lips when I came up for air. “Maybe tomorrow, I’ll get bored and toss you in a river.”
I gave him a grim smile.
“You’re not Vaughn. You’re smarter than that.”
In a secret place inside me, I whispered only to myself, I’ll smile and pretend I want you. But I’ll never forget who I am.
Before Liam called for room service, I picked my way through the carnage until I found the girl I'd killed. I knelt before the red head, closed her dead eyes, and closed my own. Her last gargling scream would haunt me forever, but like so many before, I didn’t know her name. She’d gone from human being to a threshold crossed and a bridge burned. The only thing left of her humanity was the bracelet I’d stared at.
Carefully, as if she might wake up, I slipped the bracelet off her slender wrist. Instinct made me look inside. I daydreamed briefly about leaving the bracelet for her family. I dreamt of laying flowers at her gravestone and giving her the respect she deserved in life, in death. Her name had been inscribed. She wasn’t just prey. She’d been a girl with a name, a girl someone loved enough to give her a gift made just for her.
Margot Jane.
“Looks like the witch got herself a kill trophy,” Vaughn said. I looked up at him just as room service knocked to take away the bodies.
“Wonder what we’ll take off your body when we do you?”
Vaughn slid a finger across his throat. I turned away unimpressed.
Inside I recoiled. I didn’t breathe again until I’d slid into bed and Jesse wrapped a possessive arm around my waist.
I didn't sleep.
19
We’d been on the road for most of the day, crossing Louisiana and into Texas. The sun began descending as we neared Austin. Liam seemed excited instead of lethargic.
“No more motels for a while,” he said with a cough. “We can have a real party once we hit the safe house. Blood and sex for days on end.”
“Hell yeah.” Vaughn spoke from the driver’s seat. A cigarette dangled from his lips. “And a proper hunt again. All those parks and those sweet little hikers.”
Liam nodded with a grin, but sweat glistened in his hair when he ran his fingers through the curls. A faint whiff of something beyond sweat and man filled the car, even though the windows were down to let the cold air in. Something like sickness. Like the sickeningly sweet edges of decay. “Can’t wait to hit 6th Street again, man. Snatch up some girls and boys full of liquor. Been a while.”
I heard the lie in Vaughn’s voice when he said, “Once you’re back in hunting shape we’ll fuck and kill our way across Texas if you want.”
“I wanna hit Cali again, too.”
“Cali. Mexico. Wherever the fuck you wanna go, man.”
I didn’t think it’d been a coincidence that we had a firm destination just as Liam fell ill. We were taking a break, before venturing further west.
A break is good. A break means more chances for escape. We’ve been waiting for this, the beast said.
I looked at Jesse who sat silent in the back seat next to me. He’d stared out of the window most of the time, only turning to look at me when he caught my lingering gaze. A shadow flickered in his eyes. Sadness? Then he’d look away again, and I’d be left with music or the prattling bravado of Vaughn and Liam, making plans.
I did my best to tune everything out and slept for a few hours here and there. We didn’t stop, none of us needing to eat or drink after last night. I hadn’t needed to stop and pee either. The perks of vampire blood sometimes meant suppression of my human needs, but they always came roaring to the surface again. The need to eat, to relieve myself. My mortality, and the time stolen by Jesse always loomed, like my thoughts of my family and Manny.
We drove and drove until finally Liam cried, “Pull over. Pull over. Pull over. Fuck… Let me out!”
I woke from dozing to find Liam sprinting from the car, falling to his knees, and throwing up on the side of the road. I stayed in the car, watching, as Vaughn and Jesse rushed to help him.
“Vaughn, get back! Don’t touch him.”
Vaughn stood several feet away, while Jesse fearlessly approached his contagious friend. His weakest vampire.
Liam heaved for a long time. The splash of thick liquid against the road triggered my gag reflex. I shuddered with the endless retching. I dared to look, and when I did, blood shone black as an oil spill, rotten and infected like the host.
After Liam spit up the last of the black sludge and wiped away his matching nosebleed, he tried to stand, but stumbled to his knees again.
“Don’t!” Jesse roared. Vaughn stopped in his tracks at the echoing sound of power.
Jesse lifted Liam, then hooked his arm around Liam’s waist to keep the weak vampire upright. Together they made their way to the car while Vaughn stood, helpless, pale as a wisp of smoke, and shaking with fear. Jesse opened the back door opposite me, and placed Liam inside like he would a child. Liam collapsed, and laid his head in my lap. I started at his touch. He felt cold as ice, despite feverish sweat covering his body. His teeth chattered, the sound broken only by Liam’s sharp inhalations and Vaughn’s out
burst. The windows were down so I heard most of what they said with ease.
“No! Fuck you, man, I’m not going anywhere.” I looked out of the rear windshield. Jesse said something in low, even tones I couldn’t decipher, and Vaughn roared and swung his arm in a pale, streaking arc I almost missed. The crack of Vaughn’s fist on Jesse’s jaw made me flinch.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving him behind.”
For all Vaughn’s tough talk he’d gone sickly pale, his lips pressed together in a bloodless line and his eyes wide with fear. He paced a safe distance away from the car and the infected flood Liam had expunged on the side of the road. Even if allowed to stay, I knew Vaughn would be scared shitless. I knew looking at Liam’s pale, sweaty face streaked with diseased blood had that effect on me, and I wasn’t at risk of contracting vampire sepsis. If I had been, Jesse would’ve killed me by now.
Something tingled in my brain, like a feather tickling a crevice.
Why isn’t Jesse scared? He should be avoiding Liam. He should’ve avoided that vampire at the truck stop. Why didn’t he?
Jesse wiggled his jaw like he had to crack the joint back into place. I wondered if Vaughn had broken Jesse’s jaw. Had Vaughn’s anger and fear propelled him past decorum and into using his true strength on Jesse? Jesse didn’t seem fazed by the strike. I couldn’t tell if his sick friend or his strength was the reason he dismissed Vaughn’s belligerence. A fight seemed the farthest thing from his mind.
Maybe he’s too strong to get sick, to be afraid of anything.
“We don’t have time to argue.” Jesse placed his hand on Vaughn’s trembling shoulder. “Find another car, then meet us at the safe house when you’re ready.”
Tenderness. I’d almost forgotten what the word meant. I never thought I’d see the quality from a vampire. Jesse pulled Vaughn to him by the back of his head, pressed his forehead to Vaughn’s, and paused there for a long moment. I think Jesse whispered something to Vaughn. Whatever Jesse said to Vaughn made Vaughn go from calm to vibrating with rage. Or grief.
I realized Vaughn had both emotions within him when he let out a sob and tried to shove Jesse away.
“There’s gotta be a clinic nearby or a bought witch who can—”
“You know there isn’t. It’s spreading too fast, Vaughn. Faster than we’ve ever seen it spread before.” Jesse wrestled Vaughn to hold him close when the other man tried to break away.
In turn, I looked down at Liam. An inky tear leaked from the corner of Liam’s eye and ran into his hair He could hear Jesse and Vaughn. I wondered if Liam realized he’d started to cry.
“These symptoms are different. I’m not going to risk you getting sick, too.” Jesse pulled back and stared into Vaughn’s tear-soaked gaze. “You got lucky. Grab your shit, find a car. Don’t eat till we meet up just to be safe.”
A long silence persisted until finally Vaughn said, “I wanna be there. I should be there when you do it.”
“No. You don’t. You don’t want to see.” Jesse turned and stalked back to the car, rounding the vehicle’s driver side.
I watched Vaughn swipe tears from his face. His bottom lip actually wobbled. “We don’t gotta do this, man!”
I flashed back to days ago when Jesse pulled out the spine of an infected vampire, to his frenzied rush to return to the motel so Vaughn and Liam could get treatment. When Jesse peered over the seat to study Liam’s pale face, something lurked in his eyes I’d never seen. Concern—no, wait. Compassion. Though brief, the flash in his eyes, the downturned lips, hit me like a fist to the gut.
“Liam?” Vaughn called from fifteen feet away as Jesse started up the car. “Liam. I love you, man. You hear me?” I swallowed hard as if the frog in Vaughn’s throat had hopped into mine.
“Love you, too.” Liam whispered. I knew Vaughn heard when he burst in sobs. Jesse put the car in drive, but left his foot on the brake.
“Been a good run.” Liam laughed on an exhale. “Wish I could’ve had one last hunt though. Just one more kill. I’m so fucking hungry. I’m so hungry….”
Liam groaned. He gripped his stomach, and without thinking, I touched his forehead. The skin burned, but the beads of sweat felt icy. Dull brown eyes, smudged by the strange black gunk in his body, pinned me. He settled into my lap, staring up at me with the eyes of a boy, reminding me of my brother at five, covered head to toe in chicken pox.
Eyes so much like the people Liam had slaughtered.
I’d have strangled Liam to death moments before if given the chance. I’d wanted all three vampires to die more times than I could count.
I’m tired. So tired.
Too tired to relish someone’s suffering. Even a murderer’s. He could’ve been a boy in college again, the boy taken before his time by a beast and a curse. He’d died too soon and much too late. I ached with a pity so deep, I scared myself. How many vampires out there were just like Liam? How many slaves to bloodlust had been fast-tracked to Hell, thanks to this disease?
Everything will be all right.
Liam’s lids fluttered open, then shut, Vaughn pulled his duffel out of the trunk. The raised trunk lid didn’t muffle his weeping, and I cursed the silent backroad. The trunk lid slammed. Jesse hit the gas, but his eyes remained on the rearview mirror, and Vaughn. I swiveled to see Vaughn’s face, the tears raining down his cheeks. He refused to wipe the drops away. He refused to turn his back. He watched us until his lonely form faded into a pale speck on the horizon
Vaughn could cry. Not just because of physical anguish, like in that vision we’d shared. Even Vaughn harbored love in his heart for Liam. How strange, to hate to my marrow something I pitied with all my heart.
My stomach heaved, the stench of decay rolling off Liam and drawing me away from thoughts of Vaughn. I inhaled deeply. Exhaled deeply. I imagined floating on a sea of calm waters. Swept my fingers across his cheek. Liam, for the first time, touched me for a reason other than lust. He took my hand in his and I sensed a fear that rivaled the night he killed Anna in a bloody frenzy. His weakness, his panic, clutched my spirit and dragged me under.
Like the thrashing weight of a drowning victim, Liam’s pain threatened to take us both down into the bowels of his terror.
I struggled to stay afloat, pity giving way to the need for survival. I wanted to push Liam away, but I pulled him close instead. I pulled him into me, I sank into him, and we shared one breath, one mind, one heartbeat. To save us both, I linked with the baby vampire and soothed him into a quiet corner of my mind, a corner I’d kept for myself when anxiety threatened to swallow me whole.
I shared a memory of floating belly-up in the ocean. An endless sky with white wisps of clouds trailed across the blue, the wet lullaby tinkling in my ears. I took Liam to a place where death could be a dream or a fantasy, instead of an inevitability we all feared. I took Liam to a place where we felt small and infinite, where time stood still and our thoughts drifted away on the waves.
Liam still felt pain. I didn’t have a kind enough heart to take that away. I believed we both had earned more than enough physical torment for the things we’d done. But he found a makeshift peace when he latched onto my memory. We floated side by side in the ocean I built for us and soon he fell asleep. By the time the sun set, Jesse turned off the interstate at a park named Barton Creek Greenbelt.
Jesse parked the car in the deserted lot of the park entrance, pulled the key from the ignition with a dirty look at me in the rear view mirror, and got out. I watched him pace and shove his hands through his hair as he stared at the ground. He leaned against the side of the car for a long time, staring into the woods lining the lot, still as a statue. Minutes passed and night stretched on.
I waited and didn’t say a word. I would’ve sat there all night, with only the stars and Liam as witnesses to my silent enjoyment of his rugged profile.
Liam’s eyes snapped open just as a rush of wetness flooded my panties, soaking into the polyester.
Shit. Why is my uterus such
an asshole?
The only thing between the flood and the seat covers was my skirt. Not much of a buffer. I opened the door and got out of the car, letting the dome light come on. The light gray seat was stained with blood and Liam sniffed like a hound on the scent before fixing me with an animal stare.
Liam exposed his fangs, his eyes bleeding into dull coal as the first of several black veins threaded his neck and hairless jaw. I froze in panic at his transformation, and that moment was all he needed. He wrenched me toward his prone body by my skirt. He lunged for my bleeding sex, snapping at my thighs and clawing my ass. I screamed and pummeled his shoulders, scuttling as far against the door as I could, while he forced his face against my crotch. One moment we’d been joined mind and soul in a peaceful vision, the next Liam had gone mindless with hunger. Only the combination of his weakness the vampire blood coursing through me kept him from tearing me apart.
Jesse reached past me and wrenched Liam out of the car. Disorientation gave way to understanding when Liam screamed, “I wasn’t gonna hurt her. I just need a taste. Just one bite! Please!” Liam whimpered like a boy and reached over Jesse’s shoulder for me. Anger and desperation warred on Liam’s features. Jesse held Liam tighter and I saw his back shudder with silent tears.
“Please! I’m so hungry! I’m starving, Jesse! I’m starving!”
Only Jesse’s dark hair and his light jeans revealed him as he vanished with Liam into the woods.
I collapsed into the seat, heart pounding like a drum and harsh breaths echoing. Afraid to move, afraid to think. Once again, I’d been left behind in a car. No keys this time, but maybe I could give hot wiring a go?
The wail of anguish from the woods shattered my already-broken heart into shards, the pieces so small they could’ve scattered on the wind.