TJ
Page 14
He smiled. “It was good, but I’m playing it close to my chest. I ain’t said nothing to any of ‘em about it, so you do me a favor and keep it quiet.”
“Of course!” She was thrilled that it had gone well and thrilled that he’d confided in her. “Are you going to be here for a while? I have a picture I want you to see. It’s of you and Mrs. Holmes on Friday night. There’s one that will go in the article, if you approve, but there’s another one I saved for you—it was my favorite.”
His steely blue eyes softened, and he smiled up at her. “You’re a good un, aren’t you? I knew you were.”
She laughed. “I try.”
“Nah. Trying doesn’t make your heart good. It’s either inside you or it isn’t. It’s inside you—and it’s inside him, too. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder.”
She wanted to ask who he meant, but she wasn’t going to insult him by playing dumb. Instead she smiled. “I’m not sure he wants me to look too closely, so I’m trying not to.”
Terry laughed. “You don’t do superficial any more than he does. I can already tell. You’ll figure it out between the two of you. I’m sure. Let me take you through to see Gracie and come find me when you’re done. I want to see this photo.”
~ ~ ~
TJ stood inside the doorway to the storeroom and watched Terry take Dani to Grace’s office. His heart flooded with that warm feeling—was he grateful she was here?—and he had to wipe his palms on his pants. He’d made his decision after he talked to Grace. He wasn’t going to leave before four; he wasn’t going to leave until he’d seen her.
He hung around for just over half an hour. He didn’t want to risk missing her. When Grace’s door opened, he hurried over.
“TJ!” She looked shocked, not just surprised. He wasn’t going to start second-guessing himself now, though. Like Grace said—his inner cynic could shut the fuck up.
He smiled. “I know; I wasn’t supposed to be here. But when I heard you were coming, I wanted to be. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” Her answer and her smile were the best reward he could have received for his honesty.
“Are you done for the day? Is there any chance you want to have to dinner with me?”
Her smile grew even bigger, and she nodded. “I’d love to.”
He held his arms open and she stepped inside them. He rested his chin on top of her head, not caring that Grace was watching through her office window—she was grinning like an idiot—or that Terry was giving him two thumbs up from the cafeteria. All he cared about was that he’d been honest with her about how he felt—and she’d told him she felt the same way.
Chapter Fourteen
“Can I bring you anything else?”
Dani smiled at Spider. “Not for me, thanks.”
“Just the check,” said TJ.
“Be right back.”
TJ was looking shifty. Dani decided to be brave and reached across the table to take hold of his hand. “Is there something you want to say?”
His expression relaxed a little as he met her gaze. “There’s something I want to ask. But apparently, I’m a chicken-shit, so I don’t want to ask.”
She laughed. “You’re no chicken-shit. What is it? What’s bothering you?”
“Part of me is proud of myself for sticking around at the center when I knew you were coming. I wanted to see you. I’m glad you were done with work for the day, and I’m glad we came straight here to eat.”
She nodded. “I like it here. It’s more my kind of place than Mastro’s will ever be, and I get the idea you’re the same.”
He nodded. “But part of me wishes I’d waited. Arranged to come pick you up for dinner later.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to say goodbye yet. I want you to come back to my place and hang out. The question I’m avoiding asking is if you want to stay with me tonight.”
She hadn’t expected that, but she liked the idea. “Sure. You can come back to my apartment with me while I get a change of clothes for tomorrow and my wash-bag.”
He smirked and squeezed her hand. “Are you going to bring your strawberry things?”
She laughed to hide her embarrassment. “I can’t believe they taste like strawberries!”
“I like it. I’m hoping for another taste.”
Shivers chased each other down her spine as he held her gaze. She was hardly going to say no to that. She smiled as a thought struck her. “Okay then, but I think we should run an experiment.”
“What kind of experiment?”
“I want to know if the other flavors have any taste to them. There’s a vanilla one.”
He smiled. “I like vanilla.”
“Well, so do I. And since you get to eat strawberries …” She let the words trail off, hoping that he’d pick up on what she meant.
He grinned. “Sounds good to me.”
When they got to her apartment, she left him in the sitting room while she scrambled to pack an overnight bag—and to grab all the samples of the flavored toiletries. Who knew? They might want to try the kiwi and passion fruit, or banana. She threw in everything they might want and more, just in case. Then she threw in work clothes for tomorrow. It’d be weird to wake up with him and then go straight to work, but not so weird that she didn’t want to.
She didn’t see him immediately when she came out of the bedroom. “TJ?” Her heart sank, and she wondered if he’d changed his mind.
“Sorry. I’m in here.”
She went to the kitchen where he was standing looking at the pictures on the fridge. “You look alike.”
There were a few pictures, some with friends, most with family, but she knew who he meant. “Yeah. He was a couple of years older than me, but people used to ask if we were twins.”
TJ shook his head.
“Don’t, please.” She touched his arm and smiled. “We could both sink into sadness far too easily. Sometimes when I’m happy, I feel bad that I’m happy. The only thing that makes me determined to make the most of life and enjoy it is knowing that he’d kick my ass if I don’t.”
TJ blew out a sigh. “You’re right. Terry said something similar the other day; we have to live as much as we can, to honor them. They don’t get to live at all, so we need to live double on their behalf.”
Dani smiled. She didn’t want the tears pricking behind her eyes to find a way down her cheeks. She blinked them away. “He’s a wise one, isn’t he?”
“Yeah. Very.”
“Shit!”
“What?”
“I was supposed to find him after I got done with Grace. There was a photo I wanted to show him.”
TJ raised an eyebrow.
“It’s from the auction, of him and Mrs. Holmes together. It’s lovely.”
“I’d like to see that.”
“It’s on my laptop. Do you want to get going and I’ll show you when we get to your place?”
“Sure. Do you have everything you need?”
“Yep.”
“Okay.” He picked up her bag and headed for the door.
She didn’t miss the way he shot another look at Matt’s photo on the way out. It didn’t seem like he was looking at a picture—more like he was saying see you later before he left. She swallowed and followed him out, smiling at Matt as she went.
~ ~ ~
“I’ll just put this away.” TJ took her bag through to his bedroom when they got to his place.
Dani followed him and stood in the doorway watching as he set her bag down on the foot of the bed. He looked up and met her gaze.
She smiled. “Does that kind of make it official?”
“I guess it does. If you don’t mind?”
“I like it. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ve missed you.”
He came to her and closed his arms around her. “Neither was I. I was kind of blown away on Sunday. I had such a good time with you. But I’m
not good at this kind of thing; I didn’t know what to do with it, and I didn’t know how you felt—I still don’t.”
She rested her head against his chest. “I like you. I like you a lot. I’d like to see where things can go between us, but I don’t want to put any pressure on you. I don’t know if you’re in the right place—in your head—to get into anything serious.”
He rested his chin on top of her head. “I’d like to be. I think you’re worth giving it a shot. But …”
She leaned back and looked up into his eyes.
“It’s not that kind of but, I’m not about to give you some reason why I can’t or won’t give things a shot between us. I want to—but I don’t want to let you down if I can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She nodded. “You won’t. At least, not in a bad way. If things go wrong, I’m sure I will get hurt, but I already know you’re a good man, and I know that if things go bad, it won’t be because you want them to.”
He nodded. “So, you want to take the risk?”
She smiled. “I do.”
Alarm bells sounded in his head. All he was talking about was seeing each other on a more official basis. He wasn’t ready for anyone to start saying I do.
She laughed, apparently understanding the look on his face. “Sorry, that was a bad choice of words. I should have said yes, I’m prepared to take a chance on us.”
He smiled and took her hand, leading her back out to the kitchen. “Do you want a drink? We can get changed and swim if you like?”
“I would like that. I’ll go and get changed.”
“What about the drink?”
She hesitated. “I’d love an ice-cold beer right now, but I don’t know how you feel about that.”
He gave her a puzzled look.
“Do you drink at all? I’ve never seen you with a beer, or anything. I’m quite happy to stick with water or soda.”
He shook his head. “No. I have beer. I’d love one myself. I don’t drink much—most of the time. I got a little too good at it for a while, so I watch myself now, that’s all. Sometimes I still spend an evening trying to find the bottom of a bottle of bourbon, but not often. I can have a beer or three. It’s fine. I’m not going to fall off the wagon, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
She gave him an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know. You were making sure it’s okay.” He smiled. “I appreciate it. It’s a first step in getting to know each better.”
She smiled back. “It is. And since I put you on the spot, you should be able to ask me something that might be awkward. Anything you want.”
He chuckled. “Let me think about it? I’m sure I can come up with something that will make you squirm.”
“Fair enough. I suppose I set myself up for that one. You think about it while I get changed. I’ll be back.”
TJ took two cold beers out onto the pool deck and set them down on the table with a smile. He was happy. He could admit it to himself. He was glad he’d asked her to come. Glad he’d been open with her about what was happening between them and liking that hanging out by the pool was becoming something that they did. He knew she’d want to go out sometimes, and he wouldn’t mind taking her, but it seemed that usually, the early dates between a guy and a girl were only about going out—having dinner or going to movies or clubs. It was usually about scoping each other out in a social setting. He liked that with Dani, she was coming into his world. She was here, they’d had dinner at the coffee shop because they were both comfortable there. He’d take her to Oscar’s club, Six, at some point if she wanted to go, but he liked that they were getting to know each other this way first.
He turned when she came back out and sucked in a deep breath. She was wearing a different bikini than the ones she’d worn at the weekend, and it looked amazing on her. It covered all her important places, but it drew his gaze and reminded him of the pleasures it concealed.
She laughed. “Put your tongue away. You’re not allowed to drool. At least, not until you change, too, and I can do the same.”
He went to her and rested his hands on her hips. “You are so damned hot. Have I told you this?”
She shook her head and dropped her gaze. “No. I was hoping you liked what you saw.”
He planted a kiss on her lips. “Then I’m an idiot. I should tell you every five minutes. My only excuse is that you’re so hot that my brain melts down and forgets how to form words. I just ogle and drool.”
She laughed. “Well, go and get changed, so I can ogle you.”
He kissed her again and had a hard time keeping it brief. He wanted to kiss her thoroughly, to hold her body against him, but he managed to tear himself away—if only because he knew that she’d feel even better against his bare chest once he was out of his clothes and had his swim shorts on.
The evening went by too fast for TJ’s liking. They swam and splashed each other in the pool, then dried off in the sun and drank beer. She wasn’t like the other women he’d dated. She was straightforward. She said what she meant, and she told him what she was thinking. There was no room for misunderstandings, and he appreciated that. She explained what she meant when he looked puzzled about what she said—and she asked him to do the same.
He got up from his lounger and collected the glasses. “Do you want another one?”
“Yes, please. Only one more though. I should have warned you that beer makes me sleepy. Between that and the sun, I might fall asleep on you later.”
“Don’t worry. I think you’ll want to stay awake for what I have in mind.” He was looking forward to sharing a shower with her when they went inside. He couldn’t wait to taste that strawberry stuff on her again. And he was perhaps even more eager to discover what she had planned for the vanilla.
When he came back out, he straddled her lounger to sit behind her and curled his arms around her waist.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded.
“You looked thoughtful.”
She turned her head to look up at him with a smile. “I am; I’m thinking about Terry.”
He gave her a mock hurt look. “And I thought you were thinking about me.”
“You know what I mean!”
“Yeah, I do. I’m only playing with you. I love that you’re thinking about Terry. He is one seriously awesome dude.”
“He seems it. Do you think that he might get a happily ever after?”
TJ frowned. “I think he has, in his own way. It’s like you said. Life isn’t fair; it sure as hell isn’t perfect, but considering everything he’s dealt with, I think he’s pretty much riding off into the sunset these days.”
“How do you mean?”
“I mean he’s making the very best of where he is in life. He’s doing something he loves to do. He’s at the heart of a community—he’s like the linch-pin that holds everything together at the center. He’s making a difference in people’s lives, and—within the constraints of his reality—he’s fulfilled and happy.”
“You’re right. And that’s a much more important kind of happily ever after than I was thinking about.”
He rubbed the crease he could feel forming between his eyebrows. “Did you mean the romantic kind?”
“Yeah. Forgive me; I’m a girl, okay?” She gave him an apologetic smile. “I think there’s something within our DNA that makes us believe that true happiness can only be achieved with a romantic partner as part of the picture.”
He cocked his head to one side.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.”
He laughed. “You didn’t. It’s just that I haven’t thought about it like that before. It explains a lot.”
“Dare I ask?”
He thought about it. Did he want to explain? He didn’t think he did—yet. “Can I get a delay on that one? I will explain, at some point, but I don’t want to go there right now.”
“Sure. I wasn’t fishing.”
She laughed. “No, much to my editor’s disappointment. In fact, I’m thinking about quitting.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t enjoy it. I didn’t think I was very good at it—but Alan says I am. I’ve only been using it as a stop-gap while I figure out what I want to do in life.”
“Do you have any ideas?”
“No. My degree is in media and public relations. I’d like to do PR, but …” she shrugged. “I probably shouldn’t quit. I should do some leg work first, figure out what my next move is before I jump ship and drown.”
“That’s usually the best way to go. If you can stand it.”
“Yeah. It’s not so bad. Alan’s a saint for putting up with me. It’s just that I’ve got some time off coming up, and I don’t want to take it and then hand in my notice when I get back. I think it would be fairer to tell him before I go that I won’t be coming back.”
TJ tensed.
She placed her hand on top of his. “I’ll be coming back here, but not to the job.”
“Good. You had me worried there for a minute.”
“Would you care if I left and never came back?”
He nodded, and the thought of never seeing her again made him realize just how much. “I would.”
She rested her head against his shoulder. “Aww, that’s sweet.”
“Where are you going?” he asked in his gruffest voice. She looked up at him, and he chuckled. “Sorry, I needed to sound something other than sweet to make sure my balls are still there.”
She laughed. “Being sweet doesn’t mean you’re soft. In fact, if a badass is sweet, it makes him even more of a badass in my book.”
He raised his eyebrows at her.
“I mean it. A big tough guy with a sweet streak is so much more attractive than a just plain tough guy—to me.”
“Good to know. So, how about you show me that photo of Terry you were telling me about? Will showing interest in the old guy’s possible romantic happily ever after earn me some more sweet points?”