by SJ McCoy
“I’m going to miss you, too. Stay right there. I was going to give you this later, but since you just mentioned it …” He got up and went back inside the house.
She smiled as she watched him go. He was a good man. Besides Matt, he might be the best man she’d ever known.
When he came back out he had his hands behind his back.
“What are you hiding?”
He looked kind of embarrassed, making her wonder what he was up to. “I got you something to take with you.
“What?”
“Close your eyes and hold your hands out.”
She laughed. “Just show me!”
“No. Close your eyes and hold your hands out or you don’t get it.”
She did as he said and felt him sit down facing her.
“Ready?”
“And waiting!” She thrust her hands toward him. “Oh.”
He placed something big and soft and furry in them and she opened her eyes to see. It was a teddy bear. She burst out laughing and could feel the tears in her eyes as she did.
“Aw, TJ! He’s so sweet! Thank you. You are so sweet.”
He shrugged and gave her a bashful smile. Then spoke in that deep voice that was so damned sexy. “I wanted you to have something to remind you of me while you’re away.”
She touched his cheek and planted a kiss on his lips. “I love him. Thank you. I’ll snuggle with him every night and imagine that he’s you.”
He took the bear back and looked it in the eye. “No funny business, Mister. She’s mine. You’re just there as my proxy.”
Hearing him say that she was his sent shivers down her spine. What would it be like if she were his? If they were together for real, if this was forever? She didn’t know, and she doubted she’d find out. Forever wasn’t a concept that held much meaning. They both knew life wasn’t fair. Tomorrow was never guaranteed—to even be here, let alone to get to share it with someone. She grabbed the bear back and kissed its nose. “Don’t you worry, Teddy. Since he’s not coming, you get all the snuggles, and he can’t say a word.”
TJ’s smile disappeared. “I thought you didn’t want me to go?”
“I didn’t. I don’t.” She blew out a sigh. “I need this time. It’s what I do on his anniversary. Part of me keeps wanting to ask you to go, but then I feel bad, it feels wrong. It wouldn’t be about Matt if you were there. It’d be about you and me, and I’d be happy. And I …” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I want. I want to be by myself, but I don’t want to be away from you.”
He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. “It’s okay. I know you need to be by yourself. Believe me, I get it. I want you to go—for you—but I want you to stay—for me. But I’m not going to be selfish. I’m not going to go with you, and I’m not going to ask you to stay. We’d both regret it either way. You need this. And it’s only a week.” He smiled. “This will be our first chance to miss each other.”
She smiled, liking the way he called it the first. “Do you think we’ll get more chances?”
He nodded. “I’d like to. I mean, I don’t like the thought of not being around you, but we’ll both have to go places sometimes, and if we’re going to be together, then yeah, I think there’ll be lots of times we miss each other—over the years.”
Over the years? Wow! Had he really said that? She looked into his eyes and they were filled with questions. Was he asking if she wanted that, too? Or was she just reading too much into what he was saying because she was already feeling emotional? She nodded but kept quiet since she wasn’t sure what to say. She waved the bear in front of his face instead. “Good. That means I’ll get to spend time with Teddy Two.”
He laughed. “Teddy Two?”
She nodded happily. “Yep. You’re the first Teddy—the original and the best, so this little guy must be Teddy Two.”
He shook his head with a rueful smile. “Whatever you say.”
She snuggled the bear into the side of her neck and let out a low moan, that made his eyes widen. “Oh. Teddy Two, no. We can’t!” she breathed. “Maybe tomorrow night, when we’re alone, but—”
TJ took the bear and threw it across the deck. “I don’t want to know what you and the bear get up to when I’m not around, but tonight I am around.” He leaned forward and kept moving until she was lying back on the lounger, looking up into his eyes. “I think I need to remind you what you’ll be missing.” He rocked his hips and she could feel him through his shorts and her bikini. He was hot and hard, and this time her moan was for real as she spread her legs wider. “Yes, please.”
~ ~ ~
TJ scrambled to get them both naked. It wasn’t exactly romantic, but right now, it didn’t need to be. They’d made a lot of love over the last few weeks. But this time, there was an urgency between them that he hadn’t felt before. In just a few minutes, he’d felt a whole range of emotions. She’d made him feel hopeful when she said part of her wanted him to go with her—not hopeful that she’d ask him to, but hopeful about their future. He’d been even more hopeful when she’d asked if they’d get more chances to miss each other, but that hope had died a little when she’d ignored his comment about over the years. She’d made him laugh and relax at the way she’d acted with the bear, and then seconds later, she’d had him hot and ready to go with the little moans she made. It wasn’t just that it turned him on hearing her—no, it had also brought out something else in him. He knew it was dumb; the bear was just some fur and stuffing with a face sewn on, but seeing her pretend to get hot for it had made him …what? Jealous? No. It wasn’t jealousy, was it? He hoped not. Possessive? Maybe, but only in a positive way. It had confirmed for him that he wanted—needed—for her to be his and his alone.
Once their clothes were gone, he ran his hand down over her stomach and slid it between her legs. “TJ,” she breathed.
“What do you want?” He needed to hear her say it.
“You.” Her small hand closed around him, making him close his eyes for a moment. “I want you, inside me. Now.”
He positioned himself above her, happy to oblige since it was where he needed to be. She spread her legs wide and looped her arms up around his neck. There was something different about her as she looked into his eyes. He felt like she wasn’t just opening her legs for him, she was opening herself up, truly letting him in. He thrust his hips and they both gasped as he slid inside, and she tightened around him.
“You feel so good,” she breathed.
“You feel even better.” He began to move, slowly at first, wanting to savor her tight, wet heat. “So damned good.”
She moved in time with him, yielding to him as he thrust deep, clinging as he withdrew. “I hope we get lots more chances to do this.”
He nodded. “We will. We’ll have all the chances you want. For as long as you want.”
She looked up into his eyes. Hers were shining, not with tears, but with hope. “I’m going to want a very long time.”
He smiled. She felt it, too. He could see it in her eyes, feel it in the way her body welcomed him inside and her arms and legs wrapped around him. “How does a lifetime sound?”
Her eyes widened, and she reached up to kiss him. Their bodies kept up the slow leisurely rhythm while they kissed. Their mouths telling each other so much more than words could have conveyed. Pleasure built slowly and steadily as both his cock and his tongue plunged deep inside her. He finally lifted his head when he couldn’t take any more; he was on the brink, and she was, too.
“I’d love a lifetime with you, TJ. However long a lifetime might last.”
He dropped a brief kiss on her lips. “It doesn’t matter how long. We have to live every day like it might be our last.” The thought brought back the urgency and his hips thrust faster and harder. She moved with him, their bodies in sync, feeling as though they were melding into one. She got there first, tightening around him and screaming his name as her orgasm tore through he
r, triggering his. He saw stars as the pressure that had been building at the base of his spine found its release and sent wave after wave of pleasure coursing through him and into her. He could feel it from his scalp to the tips of his toes, and he needed her to know. “I love you, Dani!” he gasped.
“I love you, TJ.” Hearing her say it sent fresh shockwaves through him, their bodies bucking wildly as if trying to prove their words.
When they finally lay still, he nuzzled his lips into her neck. “I don’t care what you and the bear get up to, it’s not going be anything near as good as this.”
She kissed his cheek and then rested hers against it. “Nothing will ever come close to being as good as this. We can have sex and make love and fuck like bunnies for the rest of our lives, but nothing will be like this.”
He lifted his head to look into her eyes. They were soft and shining, and her words confirmed why.
“The first time we said I love you.”
“The first of millions. I didn’t know if you felt the same way, but I had to tell you.”
She smiled. “I’ve been avoiding admitting it to myself, but that doesn’t make it any less true, Theodore.”
He chuckled. “I wish you’d stop calling me that, Danielle.”
She made a face.
“See. You don’t like it, and Danielle’s a pretty name.”
“If you say so. I’ll tell you what. I’ll stop calling you Theodore if you tell me what the J is for.”
He smiled. “I win then. There’s nothing embarrassing about James.”
“Theodore James, huh? I like it.”
“Thank you, but I prefer TJ.”
She smiled. “I love TJ.”
That warm feeling flooded his chest. Maybe it wasn’t gratitude. Maybe his heart had known long before he did, and this was what love felt like. He dropped a kiss on her lips and eased himself off her. “And I love Dani. And I’m thinking maybe we should go clean up in the shower and I can show you again just how much.”
~
The next morning, Dani clung to him as he hugged her goodbye at the airport.
“And you’re sure you’re all set with the car rental when you get there? And it has GPS?”
She smiled. “I’m sure. I told you. You don’t need to worry. I’m a big girl. I’m used to going places by myself and not having anyone worry about me.”
His arms tightened around her. “Well, you’re going to have to get used to having someone caring—and maybe worrying just a little bit.”
“I could get to like it—as long as you don’t overdo it. Seriously, though. You’ve done so much. The house.” She looked out at the tarmac. “The plane! I would have been fine to fly commercial. You didn’t have to do this.”
“I didn’t. When I told Oscar where you were going, he offered. “Woody flies them up there most weekends. It’s nothing out of the ordinary for him. And they’re staying in the city this weekend. So …” He shrugged. “It’s no big deal, and it’s much faster. If you flew commercial you’d have to change in Salt Lake, and it’d be late by the time you got there. This way I know you’ll be at the house long before it’s dark. And I’ve told you, no driving—”
She chuckled. “I know, I know. At dawn or dusk, and, if I must, then I have to go slow and keep my eyes peeled for deer.”
He nodded. “I know I’m being a pain in the ass, so I’m going to leave. You be safe. I won’t say have fun because that’s not the point, but do what you need to do. And call me if you want to, but don’t worry if you don’t.” Damn. He sounded like his mom used to when he was a teenager. She’d wanted to let him have his independence but couldn’t help herself. He landed a kiss on her lips. “Just text me and let me know when you get to the house.”
She hugged him tighter. “I will.”
He turned and nodded at Woody who was waiting by the doors. “I’ll see you soon, Dani.”
She reached up for one more kiss. “I love you, TJ.”
Hearing her say it flooded his chest with that now familiar warmth. “I love you, Dani. Say hi to Matt for me.”
She nodded. “I will.
Chapter Eighteen
“Hello?”
Dani started at the sound of a woman’s voice. She’d been so relaxed, sitting on the deck over the river. She might have drifted off. She sat up straight and leaned forward—as if that might help her hear if the voice came again. She might have just imagined it.
“Hello?”
She jumped up. It was coming from below the deck. She went to the railing and peered over. A woman in her fifties was standing there shading her eyes against the sun as she looked up. “Oh! Hello.” She smiled warmly. “I hope I didn’t startle you. I didn’t recognize the car. Are you a friend of TJ’s?”
Dani nodded. “Yes. Are you his mom?”
The woman smiled again. “I am. Jean Davenport, it’s nice to meet you, dear.”
“I’m sorry. Come on up.” Dani gestured toward the steps.
“I don’t need to disturb you. We just got in, and I saw your car.”
“Please.” Dani made her way down the steps. “Come on up, if you have time. You’re not disturbing me. And I’m sorry if I gave you a scare. TJ said you were in Oregon.” When she reached the bottom, she held out her hand. “I’m Dani Walsh. It’s lovely to meet you.”
Jean shook her hand and smiled again. She didn’t seem upset to find a stranger here. In fact, she was smiling happily. “Oh! You’re Dani? Then it’s even nicer to meet you. Where is he?”
“He’s still in LA. He let me come up here for a few days to get away.”
Jean’s smile faded. “Oh. I thought the two of you … Never mind. We saw him not so long ago. At least we get to meet you.”
“I’m sorry, I bet you were excited when you thought he was here.”
“I was. He doesn’t come up very often, though I wish he would. This place would do him good.”
Dani nodded. “It would. I’ve been thinking that myself. It’s so peaceful and so beautiful.” She looked out at the amazing view of the river winding through the valley between the majestic mountains. “He knew it would be good for me. I know it would be good for him.”
Jean smiled. “And you care what’s good for him, don’t you?”
Dani felt the heat in her cheeks as she nodded. It wasn’t even really a question, it was more like Jean was saying that she could tell she cared. “I do. Very much.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not a nosey old bat really.”
Dani had to laugh. “I didn’t think you were! I was thinking how nice you seem.”
Jean smiled. “Thank you and ditto.”
Dani looked up at the deck. “Would you like to come up and visit for a while?”
“I’d love to, but not if you’re just offering out of politeness. I don’t do fake nice. I’d rather leave you to your afternoon if that’s what you’d prefer.”
Dani chuckled. “So, he gets it from you, does he?”
“Yes. He does. I raised my boys to know that honesty is the best policy. You should never put yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in, just to be nice to someone. The truth is always kinder, if not always as gentle.”
“Well. The truth is, that I’d love to visit with you for a while. If you have time. I’ve been up here for four days, and I haven’t spoken to a soul in that time—unless you count the guy on the gate down at the park and the checkout girl at the little store. It’d be nice to chat, and while we’re being honest, I’d love to get to know TJ’s mom.”
Jean grinned and started up the steps. “In that case. I’d love to stay. I think you and I are going to get along wonderfully—and of course, I can’t wait to get to know you, too.”
Dani fixed a tray with a pitcher of lemonade she’d made earlier and two glasses. She looked around for something she could put out as a snack but didn’t have anything suitable. The lemonade would have to do. She took it outside and set t
he tray on the table. “I hope that’s okay?”
“It’s wonderful, thank you. But don’t think you have to play hostess and get it right.” She waggled her eyebrows as she made air quotes. “We don’t stand much on ceremony around here, and if you’d offered me a bottle of beer I would have been just as happy.”
Dani had to laugh. “I wouldn’t have dared!”
“Do you have any?”
She nodded.
Jean laughed. “I might ask if I can take one home with me. This is just a flying visit. We were on our way back to Oregon from New York and decided we’d spend the night here just to check on things. And now I’m very glad we did.”
“I am too.”
The way she smiled made Dani feel at home with her—even though she was still a little nervous about meeting TJ’s mom.
The silence stretched on as they both wondered what to say. “Do you …?”
“Are you …?”
They both started to speak at the same time and laughed.
“You go first,” said Jean.
“You seemed to know who I am. Has he told you about me?”
Jean smiled. “Not in so many words, no. But he has told us that there’s someone special in his life. Honestly, we haven’t dared ask many questions. He’ll tell us when he’s ready.”
Dani nodded. She’d hoped that maybe he was ready. But she knew he hadn’t talked to them for a little while.
“Don’t be disappointed. The fact that he even mentioned your existence is huge for TJ.”
She smiled. “I’m not disappointed. I know how he works. He’ll think about it for a long time before he gets to saying anything.”
“He will.” She chuckled. “Unlike his brother, who has been giving us blow-by-blow accounts.”
“Oscar?”
Jean nodded. “He’s very excited about the two of you.”
Dani had to laugh. “That’s good to know.”
“You don’t like him?”
“No! It’s not that. Well, I didn’t like him. I’d met Oscar a few times when he opened his nightclub, and, of course, he’s known by his reputation in LA …” Oops, perhaps talking about Oscar’s reputation to his mom wasn’t the wisest move.