I turned and fell to my knees, relief overwhelming me that Chiquita was okay. I might pretend not to be all squishy over that dog, but she and I had a special bond, we’d gotten through some tough times including some Ramen noodle budgets while I was growing the business.
Callum handed her to me, and I held her close, letting her kiss me all over, which I seldom allowed. “I’m so sorry, little fuck trumpet, I shouldn’t have left you. Were you scared? Of course you were.”
“Ringo, we need to talk about this fire, it was arson,” Callum stated. “I think we need to heighten up your protection. Obviously, this guy has just moved into stalker mode.”
“Arson? Someone intentionally set my house on fire?” Cooper asked.
“Looks like it according to your fire inspector, he’s already found a few dead giveaways.”
“Like?” Cooper waited for answers.
“You need to go talk to him, I’m handling the other side, the who,” Callum explained.
Cooper stormed off, and my stomach constricted from the stress that I was causing him. All of this was my fault. “How bad is it?”
“Not real bad at all. A few guys are in back making sure no sparks flick back up, but for the most part, it started on the back porch and the wind caused it to burn the back part of his garage only. No part of the actual house structure is damaged.”
“Thank god for that at least. But still the back porch and garage is going to cost,” I said more to Chiquita than I did to Callum.
“That’s what insurance is for.” Callum sat on the sidewalk next to me. “Do you have any ideas who might have done this?”
“I truly don’t, but Cooper seems to think it might be this guy he works with named Kevin. He seems to have a strong aversion toward gays, and his hatred has been escalating.”
“Have you ever met Kevin?” Callum flipped open a notebook and started writing down what I said.
“Not officially. I know he was one of the paramedics that brought me to the hospital when I was shot, and he tried to visit me in the hospital, which was strange. But I never actually met him.”
“Do you know why he showed up at the hospital to see you?”
“Nope. He brought his minister with him, so maybe they were planning to pray over me. I don’t know.”
“Like last rights? Were you close to dying?”
“I felt like it, but I don’t think so.” I shook my head, totally perplexed even more by Kevin’s actions.
“What do you know about this Kevin?”
“Nothing, which is why I’m not sure it’s him. But ask Cooper. Oh, and talk to Sarah Pennington, she used to work with him at station fifty-seven, Kevin fixed her up with her ex. There is some hatred there.”
“Will do, thanks. Keep me up to date if you hear anything new. How’s everything else going?”
“Okay, I guess. We are finally having a soft reopening tomorrow. We needed all of the fresh paint smell to go away and to get reinspected. But we’re ready to go.”
“Just be careful,” Callum ordered.
“We will. I’ve had top-notch security cameras installed and have a full-time employee who will be stationed to just watch the monitors.”
“Smart thinking, never can be too careful. There are some whacked-out people in this world.”
“Truth.” I fist pumped the air as Callum walked off. Holding Chiquita, I got up carefully from the curb and moved around the back to see the damage for myself.
“Needs a new garage, back of the house will have to be repainted and will need to have roof checked since the hoses tend to loosen shingles!” someone was hollering.
“I know,” Cooper called back.
“Oh, and your porch is totally fucked.”
“Thanks, Parker, got it.” Cooper gave a thumbs-up.
“I’m serious though, dude, you see a lot of this, so sometimes we take for granted what all needs to be done. Don’t. Except for your garage, I don’t think there is water damage anywhere else. But you’re going to want to put some tarps on your roof just to be safe. If you need some help with that, let me know.”
“Thanks.” Cooper shook his hand and then turned to me. He painted a smile on his face, but I could tell it was fake, all fake.
Dash
“Oww, burning down the house,” Kevin sang.
I couldn’t explain it, he’d never been like this, sure he was a douche but he’d been a petty douche. I had never imagined that he would take things this far. Damn it, after everything that had happened, Kevin singing that song was too much. Plowing forward, I coldcocked him.
“How fucking dare you. Fine, I’m gay, are you happy? Not that it is any of your fucking business. But no, you couldn’t let it go. You’ve made my life miserable the entire time you’ve been here. You fucking burned down my house and then have the balls to stand here singing about it?” I glanced around and noticed a crowd had gathered. “You’ve lined my locker with period pads, and you called that drag queen a fag to her face. You know what, I’m done. I’m fucking done working here. If other people can stand working with you, then fine.”
I turned and found that Mac, Darren, Enrique, Logan, and the rest of the squad were all standing behind me, even Captain Harding.
“Cooper Dash, I’d like to see you in my office. Mr. Hammond, please have a seat and keep your mouth closed. I will be with you momentarily.”
I glared at Kevin once more before turning and following Cap into his office. His office smelled of cologne, like real cologne and not some body spray we all wear for work because we’re saving the good shit for going out. Nope, this was the good stuff and seemed to permeate every fiber around me.
“Have a seat, Dash.” I did as ordered as Captain Harding moved to the blinds and twirled the rod to close them. “How long has all of this been going on?”
“Ever since he got here, but it has been escalating. Lieutenant overheard me tell Kevin a few weeks ago that I didn’t trust him to have my back. It’s only gotten worse. He was singing about my house being burned.”
“I’m sorry you haven’t felt you could trust your partner, I will definitely handle that. But, Cooper, on another note, why didn’t you come to me? You know that I would never allow any form of bigotry and harassment of another squad member. It’s absolutely not tolerated.”
“I didn’t want to cause a stir. I took it as long as I could, I’m sorry.” I leaned forward and rested my hands on his desk.
“You know I’m gay, right?” he asked.
Wait, what. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I asked if you knew I was gay? I’ve been with Lucas for twenty-five years.”
“How did I not know that?”
“Because it’s none of your business. Did Mac introduce himself as the straight guy? Or does Darren wear a sign that says heterosexual? No, because who we love has nothing to do with our job performance, and that’s all I care about when you come to work. The only time Lucas is with me is at the Fireman’s Ball, but most of you are too busy with your dates to really notice anyone else.” Cap cleared his throat. “That being said, you punched a coworker, so I have to at least send you home. I’ll see you back here on Wednesday in a better mood, understood?”
“Cap, don’t take this wrong, please. I’ve enjoyed working for this battalion for the past twelve years, but I don’t think this is where I belong anymore.”
“Is that because you no longer have a passion for the job or because you no longer enjoy coming to this station thanks to Mr. Hammond?”
I rubbed my hands on my pants. “I love my job, what we do to help people. But I hate coming to this station. I was going to go to try to apply at Seminole or Osceola County to see if they were hiring.”
“Go home, Dash, I’ll see you on Wednesday, we’ll talk then. Don’t make any decisions yet.” He stood, which gave me permission to stand as well. “Trust me, I’ve obviously let you down by not knowing what was going on, but please, trust me now.”
I nodded and then left his
office. I didn’t say anything to anyone as I swung by my locker and grabbed my stuff just in case I got a call saying not to come back.
As I approached my front door, I could already smell the smoke, the soot, and the watered down wood that only got heavier as I entered. It was this gagging smell that in all of my years on this job I had never, nor would ever, get used to.
“Alex, I’m home.” I moved through the house and then headed back to his room. “Chiquita, where are you?” but not even the little spunk bubble ran out to greet me.
Grabbing my phone, I dialed Alex, and my heart sank when it went straight to voice mail. I couldn’t remember ever hearing his voice mail, he always answered. Instead of leaving him a message, I decided to text him.
Me: Hey, I’m home early. Can’t find Chiquita. Where are you?
I waited to see if three dots appeared but there was nothing.
Slowly I replayed the past week and how we were growing closer, hell, I was even making up names for Chiquita, but I screwed it all up and didn’t even invite him to stay in my bed. He’s been going back to his room. Crap, his room. I raced back and realized for the first time that it was almost empty. Alex had packed up almost all of his stuff and left.
A strange ache washed over me, well, not me, more like my chest. I wondered if this was what it felt like getting shot. This ache topped all of the stress I had been feeling.
Sliding to the floor, still clenching my phone, I grasped for the first time that my world had fallen apart. I should have come out, I should have been proud of who I was and the man that was willing to love me regardless of my flaws.
Still holding my phone, I dialed the first phone number I ever learned.
“Hello?"
“Mom . . .”
“Cooper, honey, what’s wrong?”
“Are you somewhere you can talk?”
“Absolutely, I’m home alone. What’s going on, baby?”
“Momma, I’m gay.”
“Oh, Coop, I already knew that.”
“But I want to tell you, it is something I need to do. I’m tired of hiding. I don’t want Alex to think I’m embarrassed of him.”
“There’s never been any doubt in my mind that you are gay. I’m glad that you are finally opening up. Alex must be a great man to help you realize your happiness but more than that, he’s even better if he deserves you.”
“It’s more like, if I deserve him.” I paused for a second. “How did you know?”
“Know what? That you are gay?” My mom asked.
“Yeah.”
“Oh, Cooper, mothers have a special bond with their children, something that can’t be explained. Some women choose to embrace it and some don’t.”
“Like Alex’s mother,” I sighed. “She kicked him out when he was sixteen for being gay.”
“I think their case was different. I’m talking more like Susan Smith.”
“Who?”
“You’re making me feel old, kid.” I laughed at her words. “She strapped her kids into their car seats and then put the car in gear and let it roll into a deep lake.”
“Holy shit, who does that?”
“Exactly. I’m the type of mother who embraced being a mom. I wanted you and your sister with me all the time. I watched you and knew who you truly were inside and who you were going to be when you grew up. I think I knew you were gay before you did.”
“What did you discover about Julie?”
My mom laughed. “Ah, Julie is my protector. She’s fierce and an advocate. She will always be leading the pack when it comes to protecting the underdog, standing up for what’s right, and fighting for justice. One day she is going to be an incredible mother but not for a long time. But you, my sweet Cooper, you’ve always been my tender one. You don’t show that side, you bury it because it might show weakness, but it shines through regardless. You are my mender, the fixer. You always wanted to fix things that were broken or mend the situation when Julie and Dad were fighting. You never let him break you, instead, you kept finding ways to keep your and your dad’s relationship together even though he can be a . . .”
“Homophobic chauvinist,” I filled in for her.
“Yeah, that.” She paused and I could almost hear the wheels in her head turning. “How are you and Alex? I’m assuming that has something to do with this call?”
“Mom, he helped me understand the real me, but I pushed him away. I was afraid to admit I was gay. I didn’t want the guys at the station to give me a hard time but that backfired, and I told the captain I was quitting today.”
“You did what? Why?”
“One of the guys, who work there, has been making my life miserable. I couldn’t even tell you everything he’s done, and that was when he only thought I might be gay.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell your captain?”
“I didn’t want to stir shit up, but I finally broke, I told him today. I should have done it sooner. Mom, I think he might be the man who shot Alex.”
“No.”
“Mom, I have to go, someone is here.” I wiped my face.
“Okay, call me if you need to talk some more.”
“Will do, love you,” I said as Chiquita ran into the living room.
“Love you too.”
I slid my phone back into my pocket and stood as Alex moved into the living room, glowing with happiness.
“Where have you been?” I snapped at the same time Alex asked, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“I’ve had a shitty day and then came home to find you gone, Chiquita gone, your room practically empty, and you not answering your phone or texts. But, hey, I came out of the closet to my entire firehouse, and oh yeah, my mom too.”
“You did?” Alex moved closer and tried to hug me, but I stepped out of his grip. “What’s wrong? I’m so excited for you, for us.”
“Where were you?” I asked again.
“Today was the reopening of Bananas, I told you that.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Are you sure? I know I mentioned it.”
I put one hand on my hip, but it wasn’t like my whole hand, it was just like my dad did it when he was lecturing us for some reason. That move where my index and middle fingers clasped on to the front of my hip and my other two fingers were curled back along with my thumb. “You told me a few weeks ago that you wouldn’t be able to open for a few weeks, but you never said anything about it again, there was no date. And besides I would have never thought you were at your restaurant, you had a dog with you.” I emphasized the word dog.
“Pish posh. Watch. Chiquita, inspection,” Alex said firmly, and Chiquita raced off as fast as her little spindle legs could carry her. “Come on, you need to see this.”
She first ran into Alex’s room and then raced out and into my room. Then she scurried under a pile of clothes on the floor next to my chest of drawers. “Cute, but what if they lift the clothes?”
“Try it,” Alex suggested so I did, but the little shit wasn’t there. I stared back at him. “She chose that place for option B.”
“Option B?”
“Your chest of drawers, she crawled under there when you lifted the clothes.” I laughed. “She’s been hiding since the day we opened Bananas. She stays in the dressing room, because there are always piles of clothes in short baskets that she can jump into.” Alex sat on my bed and got comfy. “You know where I was. Now, tell me, what happened that had you looking so upset when I walked in?”
I sat next to him, and Alex pulled me close. “When I got to work, Kevin was singing, ‘Burning Down the House’ and laughing. I snapped and punched him.”
“Good for you, the fucker deserved it.”
“Yeah, but I went off, I was screaming at him about everything he’d done and then admitted that I was gay. Then quit.”
“You quit?” he asked, and I nodded. “I’m okay with that as long as you are.”
“Captain asked me to hold off on any decisions u
ntil Wednesday.”
“That sounds smart.” Alex smoothed one hand through my hair. “I’m sorry I worried you. I would never intentionally make you feel insecure about our relationship. That is what we have, right, a relationship?”
“Yeah, I would call this a relationship, it’s my first.”
“It’s my first committed relationship as well,” Alex confirmed. “Can I ask you something, don’t freak please and I know me saying not to freak probably freaked you out even more. But I always told myself that when I found myself in a committed relationship that we would get things that destroy relationships out of the way.”
“I’m lost and admittedly a little freaked.” I grabbed hold of Alex’s hand and squeezed. “Go on.”
“To me, committed means that you and only you are the person I belong to. There is no cheating, no gray lines, it is me and you. Do you agree?” Alex pointed back and forth between us.
“I totally agree.” I slid my hand up his arm and squeezed.
“What are your thoughts on kids? Do you want a child at some point?”
Continuing my path up his arm, I cupped his shoulder and we locked eyes, because I wanted this to resonate it was a biggie to me. “Yes, I love children. I volunteer at the community center just to be part of their world. I would love a child someday.” The smile that crossed Alex’s face was worth each and every punctuated word.
“Finances?” Alex raised one brow.
“What about them? We will have to deal with them.”
“Who handles them, and how are they handled?”
“I believe we already established that this is a committed relationship, it means what is mine is yours and vice versa. It also means we are a team, we do it together. Sure, one of us will more than likely be the one to handle the house finances, and since you do your business’s I have no problem doing them for the house but we both contribute.” I dropped my hand to Alex’s lap and squeezed his nuts.
“Hey, those are my balls,” Alex squealed.
“Umm, we just established that those are our balls,” I reminded him and we both laughed.
Ringo, Slippery Banana: A Beautiful Love Story (Iron Orchids Book 7) Page 9