by Katie Dowe
She dreaded the conversation with Remy, but knew that it was important to her emotional well being to stand on her own again. She would wait until they returned from their last trip of the fall, then she could devote herself to the restaurant. The holidays were just around the corner and it would be a busy season.
They enjoyed the last trip of the year, Kendra knew how lucky she had been to get to see so much of the real France. She had learned a great deal about how the people used what was available locally to create wonderful food, so the time had not been a complete loss as far as her cooking skills were concerned.
If Remy noticed that she was distracted during the trip, he ignored it and acted as if nothing was wrong. But on the way home, he finally asked Kendra what was wrong. She tried to explain how she was feeling but found she wasn’t getting it right.
“So you’re saying that the time we’ve spent together had been a waste of your time.” Remy was immediately defensive.
“That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’ve loved every minute we’ve spent together. I would have never been able to see as much of France as I have if you hadn’t taken me along with you. But cooking is my career. I need to do what makes me happy and cooking is one of those things.” She explained.
“So suddenly I don’t make you happy anymore? What happened, just last week you told me you had never been happier. Was this just some game to you? A way to get a free vacation.” Remy challenged her.
“Now you’re just being ridiculous. I love you just as much as I always have, but I need my career too.” Kendra said, desperate to make him understand.
“I have plenty of money to support us, you don’t really need that job.” Remy said.
“It’s not about the money, cooking makes me happy.” She said, hoping that he could understand.
“You can cook for me, we can have all the dinner parties you want. If fact, when I take over for my father, we will have to do lots of entertaining. Let’s talk to my mother, I bet you could get started right away. There’s always some business dinner or another going on.” Remy said, thinking he had found the solution.
This suggestion was so similar to what Mark had wanted that Kendra couldn’t breathe for a minute. She felt a moment of panic before she realized that Remy was only making this suggestion because he wanted his way.
“First, just let me say that I am not a caterer. I am a chef capable of running a five start restaurant anywhere in the world. I know you are just trying to help but that is not how I want to spend my life.”
“So you want to work 60 hours a week, making food for other people. How are you ever going to have a husband, a family? No man wants to play second fiddle to your career. Face it.” Remy said, getting angrier by the second.
“Just take me home to my apartment. I don’t want to discuss this any longer. I love you but I’m beginning to think that you don’t really know me, if you could say something like that.” Kendra said, fighting tears. She would not cry in front of Remy no matter how upset she was.
“Fine.” He said, then was silent for the rest of the drive, pouting Kendra assumed.
Kendra and Remy spoke little over the next few weeks. Kendra threw herself back into her job, trying to make up for all the time she had been gone. There were quite a few people who were less than happy with her and she knew only her time and hard work could repair the damage.
Once word got out that Kendra was back in the kitchen, the restaurant began to flourish again. Kendra began to regain some of her equilibrium, as her love of cooking was reignited. She missed Remy but knew that if they were going to have a life together, he had to appreciate her choice of career. She would never be happy following him around and cooking for his family and business.
As the standoff between Remy and Kendra continued, Remy’s mother called her to arrange a lunch meeting. Kendra was more than happy to have lunch with Barbra, she had missed her. Once they had placed their order, Barbra got right to the point.
“What happened between you and Remy?” she asked.
“It’s just a lovers spat, I hope.” Kendra replied.
“What has he done now? Let me guess, he wanted something his way and didn’t get it, is that it?” She said.
“How did you know? That’s exactly it. He basically wants me to give up my career to cater dinner parties and business meetings. It’s like he doesn’t even appreciate what I do or how hard I had to work to get where I am.” Kendra said, close to tears.
“I already left a man who wanted that of me. Why can’t men see that our careers are just as important as theirs? Oh, and don’t get me started on his offer to pay all my bills so I am free to be at his beck and call.” Kendra was getting ready to go on, but Barbra stopped her with a raised hand.
“Okay, I get the picture. My son is being his usual self. When he doesn’t get what he wants he throws money at the problem. He was always the selfish one as a child and knowing that his place in the world was already made has not necessarily been good for him.” Barbra said.
Kendra started to say something but Barbra cut her off again. “I’m not defending him, he needs to grow up. But I just want you to see things from his point of view.”
“I understand, but this is a big deal to me, not something I can just hope goes away.” Kendra said.
“I’ll talk to him, sometimes a boy needs his mother to knock a little sense into him and this is one of those times. Now let’s talk about something else. You two love each other, it will all work out. You know, Martin and I had similar problems before we were married.” Barbra said.
“I would love to hear about how you handled Martin, you guys obviously worked it out.” Kendra said.
“Well, as you can imagine, I had to take the situation in hand or nothing would have ever been solved.” Barbra said, then began to tell Kendra about her path to a happy marriage.
Over a wonderful lunch, Barbra told Kendra how she had helped Martin understand that she needed to be useful not just at home but in the world. Her method wouldn’t work for Kendra but it gave her hope than with time, Remy might learn to understand her needs.
*****
Weeks passed, Kendra continued to work as many hours as she could at the restaurant. She talked to Remy at least once a day, but the conversations were short and usually nothing deeper than a discussion of the weather. Neither of them wanted to address what was keeping them apart.
Remy had been spending his time getting his plants moved for the winter and doing volunteer work, which he still loved. His father was pushing him to keep learning the business but he found it boring, much to he and his father’s disappointment.
Remy had never thought of doing anything but taking over the business, he had gotten a degree in business for that purpose, but once in the office, he just couldn’t find the drive his father had. Shipping, while in his blood, was not his passion.
Forced to come to the office daily, he had found himself unhappy and frustrated. He wanted to be out helping people, he didn’t really care in what capacity as long as he felt useful. After only a few weeks it had become apparent to his parents that his taking over the business was not going to be the smooth transition they had all hoped for.
After much discussion his parents decided that it was time for them all to face the facts. Remy was more like his mother than his father. His destiny was not to run the business but to serve the public in some way. They also discussed the situation with Kendra and how they could help him to see what he was risking with his stubborn behavior.
His mother came up with a brilliant idea that might help with the Kendra problem, as for the rest, only time would tell. Barbra hoped that if Remy could only see how happy Kendra was in her role as chef, he might understand that a passion like hers couldn’t be contained. It was a part of her and would always be so.
To bring her plan into fruition she would need help. She had Margot reserve the chef’s table for the family later in the week. She, Mar
tin, Greta and Remy would have dinner together to celebrate Remy’s success in getting the fleet ready for the winter. Kendra wouldn’t know that Remy would be at the restaurant. Barbra’s hope was that if Remy could see Kendra in action he would understand her deep passion for cooking, her need to use her talents.
Remy was unaware where they were going for dinner and was a little surprised when they pulled up. He was worried about seeing Kendra, they hadn’t seen each other for weeks, and he was as nervous as a he had ever been in his life.
“Why are we eating here? Kendra may not be happy to see me in her restaurant. She’s still mad at me for suggesting she quit her job. I’ve tried to get her to see my side of it but she’s just too stubborn to listen to reason.” He complained.
“I just wanted to know that we would have a great meal. Your father and I are so proud of you.” His mom said, ignoring his remarks about Kendra.
“Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea, but we’re here so we might as well go in.” He said, not fooling his mother one little bit. He clearly wanted to see Kendra but wasn’t willing to admit it.
In most restaurants the chef’s table is located in the kitchen, but at La Mason the kitchen was open so the table was located in a prime spot where patrons could see the entire kitchen but weren’t actually in it. One disadvantage was that while the entire table could see the chef, the chef could only see part of the table.
Margot sat Remy on the side of the table the chef couldn’t see, helping to set the stage for what Barbra had in mind. She hoped that seeing Kendra at her best would help Remy to understand what he needed to do.
A well timed trip to the bar, prevented Kendra from knowing that Remy was with them that night. She visited the table none the wiser that the missing guest was Remy. Once the dinner service was in full swing, Kendra forgot about the chef’s table and lost herself in the service.
From his place at the table Remy had a clear view of Kendra, he watched as she commanded the kitchen like a general leading her troops. Nothing left the kitchen without her approval, or that of her lead sous chef. She was at her best that night, clearly establishing the rhythm in the kitchen. Her eyes shone with pleasure and excitement. Remy thought she had never looked as beautiful as she did in the kitchen that night.
It came as a shock to realize that he had never seen her cooking like this before. She was truly where she belonged, that was clear both from her actions and from her fellow workers reactions. A part of him was slowly becoming aware that Kendra’s words that night had held the truth. He didn’t know this part of her at all. This in control, professional, very hot chef.
In all the time they had spent together, he had never seen her in a professional kitchen. He had understood the mechanics of a restaurant kitchen, but hadn’t considered the talent it required to do what Kendra was now doing. She had to be a master of not only food, but people. He was beginning to understand her refusal to give up her career.
Finally able to see the situation from her point of view, he realized how utterly ridiculous he had been behaving. Expecting her to give up her dream to be at his beck and call would destroy her, destroy the person he loved. With a groan, it hit him, just how close he had come to losing her, because he was selfish. Trying to hold on too tight had almost cost him a life with her.
His mother had been watching him, watch Kendra and could see that her plan was working. Besides looking love sick, her son seemed to really be absorbing all he was seeing.
“She’s something else isn’t she?” He mother asked.
“You can say that again.” His father answered, when Remy was just silent, lost in thought.
“I can’t imagine her doing anything else, can you, Remy?” His mother asked, getting his attention.
Remy looked at his mother, suddenly understanding why they were here for dinner instead of their usual restaurant.
“Mother are you meddling in my life? That’s something you’ve never done before.” Remy said, looking at her speculatively. “I think you are. Father what do you know about this?”
“Well, son I tell you what, I learned a long time ago that when your mother gets it in her mind to do something, it’s best just to go along with her. But I will say this, Kendra was made to be right where she is and anyone who tries to take her away from it is a fool.
Those words from his father, who rarely interjected his opinion on personal matters, were all Remy needed to know what he had to do. Without a word he got up from the table, kissed his mother on the cheek and left the restaurant.
Chapter 7
Kendra never did find out that Remy had been in the restaurant during dinner service the night before, thus was unaware of the transformation Remy’s feelings had undergone. He no longer thought she should leave her job to be at his beck and call, but instead understood that part of what made her special was her gift in the kitchen. To take that away would essentially, take a part of Kendra away.
Determined to make his relationship with Kendra work, he decided that there was only one solution. He had begun his plans that night, calling in some favors, and using his name to get some other things accomplished. He skipped his usual morning call to Kendra, afraid that his emotions might give him away. By that evening everything was in place, he was nervous but ready to take the next step.
Kendra was worried when Remy’s usual morning call failed to come in. No matter how much they disagreed, they still talked at least once a day, sometimes twice. She hoped that this wasn’t the beginning of the end. She wasn’t going to change her mind but she had hoped that he might at least give them a chance.
He hadn’t even wanted to discuss the situation with her. Claiming that she loved her work more than him, typical spoiled man behavior, she thought. His mother had said she would talk to him, but that might have been a bad choice. It might have just driven him farther away.
Deciding that work was still the best medicine, she headed out the door. When she worked she was able to forget all her problems with Remy. She could block out the world, and just think about food. By the end of the day she would be so exhausted, she would be asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. That had been her pattern since she and Remy had been fighting. Work, home, sleep and repeat. Cooking wasn’t as much fun as it used to be but she was back in the kitchen like she wanted.
As she was finishing that night’s paper work, Margot popped her head into the office to ask if she needed anything else. Kendra sent her on way, reminding her to lock the door behind her. It had been a good night, packed house, with three full settings, a chef’s dream. She knew she wasn’t as excited as she should be, but then nothing was the same since she and Remy had been fighting.
She was tired, but knew she wouldn’t sleep tonight. Remy still hadn’t called and while she was worried about his safety, she was sure his mother would have called if anything had happened to him. Instead she was sure that his silence was a sign of their relationship’s death.
She was sitting at the desk, head in her hands, hunched over the paper work trying not to cry when she heard a noise out in the dining room. Margot was the last to leave and she never forgot to lock the door. Gathering her courage she grabbed the biggest knife from her personal set which she kept in the office. She crept down the hall toward the dining room, she could see the flicker of a light and figured whoever it was needed some light to see.
As she came closer, the light began to get brighter, as if another flashlight had been added. But suddenly she realized that it wasn’t flashlights but candle lights. Worried she might be about to interrupt a private dinner, she called out.
“Is someone there?” She called boldly.
When there was no response, she continued down the hall, her heart nearly pounding out of her chest. As she rounded the corner, she saw that the source of light was hundreds of candles. They filled the room with a gentle light that muted the room and left shadows in the corners. Taking a deep breath, Kendra smelled her favorite flow
er, lilacs. It was then that she noticed the numerous bouquets of them that filled the room. They were perched on every available surface, filling the room with their sweet fragrance.
As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw that Remy was standing across the room, holding the biggest bouquet. He was dressed in his best suit, looking for all the world like a model just about to hit the runway. His dark hair was shining in the candle light, his eyes focused on her, taking in every inch of her body in one bold glance.
That one glance was all it took to get her blood boiling. Tamping down her desire, she waited for an explanation. It was going to take more than a grand gesture to fix the problems they had in their relationship.
“My mother had been sticking her nose in my business as usual, but his time I have to thank her for opening up my eyes. I was here with them last night, they sent me to the bar before you came to the table.” He began, opening a bottle of Kendra’s favorite wine. Handing her a glass, he steered her toward a chair and gently pushed her into it.
“I was being a stupid ass, thinking only of what I wanted. When I saw you in that kitchen the other night I realized how proud I was to be your boyfriend. What you have is a gift, you not only work magic with food, but with people as well.” He said.
“So you understand that my job is a part of me. I have to be able to create, it’s not really like I have a choice, without a way to express my creativity I can’t be happy. This is my world, and if you want me, you have to accept that.” She said.
“That’s the thing,” he said, kneeling in front of her. “I want you to do what makes you happy and if this is it, then I will support you. I was wrong, but I still want us to be together as much as we can.”
Oh, Remy I’m so happy to hear you say that. I was so sure that your silence meant that we were finished.” Kendra said, trying not to cry.
“Well, it took me some time to pull all this together, but we still have to discuss a compromise. I always hear that good relationships are based on compromise, so here’s my idea.” He said, taking a small velvet box from his pocket.