I Am Karma

by Dawn Cano

Miranda pulled up a chair and sat down next to the table Alex was lying on. “Let me explain it all from the beginning. Try not to interrupt, please.

  “I am in charge of Karma. I'm sure you've heard of Karma, haven't you? The good or bad things that happen to people based on their actions? Well, Karma is actually a person, not some mystery of the universe. Every now and then a vacancy comes along and it's up to me to fill it. I chose you.”

  Miranda paused and Alex stared at her. The longer she looked, the more she saw the similarities between the older woman's face and her own. She mentally kicked herself for not noticing earlier. “Yes, I left you when you were very young, and for that, I'm sorry. I was born to do this job and when the time was right, I was called to fill the position, and I had no choice but to come here. Had I not taken the job, I would have died, leaving you anyway. For what it's worth, I missed you terribly and kept an eye on you whenever I could. I know what you've been through in your short life, but I wasn't allowed to intervene, so I had to sit here and watch it happen.”

  Alex raised her voice, “You knew? You knew what my father, your husband, was doing to me? You knew that I was taking drugs and prostituting myself? You fucking saw Ryan kill me, yet you did nothing?” She began to cry as Miranda's eyes filled with tears.

  “Alexandra...”

  “Alex! My name is Alex! You have no right to call me by the name you gave me. You gave up that right when you walked away.”

  Tears rolled down Miranda's cheeks. “Alex, there was nothing I could do. I have a different kind of power than you do, and Karma cannot inflict punishment on anyone whose crimes they don't see. It's the golden rule. You have to believe me. I tried.” Miranda's tears turned into gut-wrenching sobs, and Alex stared at the woman with a mixture of hatred and pity.

  With a little effort, she managed to sit up and after a few seconds, the room stopped spinning. Miranda was still crying as Alex asked, “How do I know what you're telling me is true? You have to admit that all this shit sounds pretty far-fetched. You're telling me that I am Karma? Are you seriously asking me to believe this right now? I was dead. Are you the one who brought me back? Why didn't you help me when you found me on the street that night?”

  Miranda managed to get her crying under control and wiped her eyes. “It's easier to show you how this works than to tell you. Yes, you are Karma, if you will, and yes, I brought you back from the dead. My main purpose is to find and recruit new talent when the existing member decides to leave. When I saw you on the street that day, I touched you on purpose to send my energy into you and awaken your power.”

  Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing. “My...power,” she repeated.

  “Everyone is born with power they never get the opportunity to unleash. I awakened it in you because I saw what you were going through and understood how powerless you were to stop it. I wanted to give you the power you lacked in life to use after you died. I had no idea you would die at the age of seventeen, but it just makes me glad I tracked you down when I did. I was almost too late.”

  Alex sat in stunned silence on the edge of the table. Could this be real? Was she really the personification of Karma? She felt as if she'd awaken from this dream at any moment, or maybe she was on one of those hidden camera shows her dad always liked to watch. There's no way what she was hearing was true. Finally, she blurted out, “This is total bullshit! I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but it's not going to work. I've been taken advantage of my entire life and I can't take any more.”

  Miranda stood up and moved her chair back to the corner of the room. She turned to face Alex. “Do you remember what Ryan did to you? Do you remember him cutting out your tongue? Snipping your lips off with a pair of scissors? Burning your body in a metal drum? How do you explain how you look right now, after he did all those things to you?”

  Admittedly, Alex had no explanation. She felt her face. “Maybe it was all a nightmare and you're in my dreams too. It freaked me out when I saw you a few years ago, so you must be part of my subconscious.”

  Miranda lashed out with the back of her right hand, so quickly, Alex didn't have time to react. The large, black ring she wore tore a gash in Alex's cheek and she screamed, raising her hand to her face, pulling it back covered in blood.

  “Why?” she cried out.

  Miranda had to raise her voice slightly to be heard over her daughter's sobs. “Feel your face again.”

  Alex raised a hand to her face and noticed the cut and all the subsequent blood was gone. She stared at Miranda with her mouth hanging open.

  Miranda smiled. “Believe me now?”

  Alex stayed silent.

  “Let's go over a few ground rules before we begin, shall we?” Miranda sat back down. “First, you can never use your powers to punish anyone you know. The people who have hurt you in the past, leave them alone. They will continue their ways and one day, we will catch up with them. Leave them be.”

  Although Alex didn't like it, she nodded her agreement with the first rule. She was still so shocked by this situation, that she couldn't think of anything to say.

  Miranda continued. “Rule number two. The punishment must fit the crime. If a man kicks a kitten, you mustn't kill him. If he kills someone, intentionally or not, you can cause the events to happen that will lead to his death. Does that make sense?”

  Alex nodded again.

  “Rule number three: leave children alone. No child shall suffer the effects of Karma until they reach the age of fourteen. Understood?”

  Finally, Alex found her voice, “Understood.”

  “To humans, you appear just like them. The only difference is that you don't need to eat, your bathroom habits are a thing of the past, and you no longer require sleep. You control your powers by thinking of what you want to happen and touching someone. The beauty of it is that they never feel you touch them. The results are often instantaneous, but some more complicated things may take a while to come to fruition. It's up to you to decide if you want to see the events play out or move on to the next person.”

  Alex thought of a question. “How do I choose people?”

  Miranda replied, “You'll learn everything you need to know about people by just watching them. Are you ready to give it a try?”

  Alex couldn't believe she was buying into this, but she nodded.

  Miranda asked her where she wanted to go, but she had no idea. “Pick a place. Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing there. If you want me to come too, you'll have to take my hand.”

  Alex thought about a place she'd like to visit. She pictured the park her father used to take her to after her mother left. Her happy place when she was being used by various men in Jeremy's house. She closed her eyes, grabbed Miranda's hand, and imagined him helping her down the slide, and when she opened her eyes, they were standing at the park. Her vision was cloudy for a few seconds, and she was sure someone would notice the two women materializing out of thin air, but everyone seemed oblivious. Miranda held on to her hand and guided her closer to the playground. Mother and daughter stood in silence watching the kids play as their parents and grandparents interacted with one another.

  Miranda leaned in and said, in a quiet voice, “Just watch.”

  Alex kept her focus on a group of three young parents, seemingly involved in an intense conversation, not paying attention to their children playing on the swings a few feet away. The children ranged in age from around four to seven, and they were laughing and enjoying each other's company. As they played, a younger child approached with his father following close behind. One of the group of three children climbed out of her swing and ran in front of the toddler, screaming about it being her swing and reached out to push the smaller child out of the way. The father rushed over to the screaming child and pushed her out of the way before she could knock down his toddler. The little girl fell and screamed when her head hit the ground. The man grabbed his son and walked away before the parents had a chance to register what had happened.
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  Miranda spoke, “See that. What could you do to that man? Think about it, then gently touch him.”

  Alex walked over to the man, thinking about what should happen to him. As he crouched near the edge of the sandbox watching his son play in the sand, she touched his back, then moved away. He never looked up and as Alex made it back to Miranda and turned to look at the man, he raised up from a crouching position, took a step and tripped over a toy that was laying on the ground. He face planted in the sand, and the kids and adults around him began to laugh. Obviously embarrassed, the man got to his feet, grabbed his son, and stormed off toward the parking lot.

  Alex turned toward Miranda with a smile on her face. “That was fun!”

  Miranda laughed. “It's always nice to see things happen to people who deserve it, but don't forget that you can make good things happen too. Let's go somewhere else.”

  Alex closed her eyes and pictured somewhere she'd always wanted to go. She opened her eyes and looked at her mother. “Can I go anywhere?”

  Miranda nodded, “Anywhere you want.”

  Alex allowed her eyes to close again, clasped Miranda's hand, and pictured herself standing on the Strip in Las Vegas. It was a place she'd always wanted to go, and she loved the thought of being able to let loose and have fun—something she'd never been able to do before. When she opened her eyes, both women were materializing in front of the Bellagio Hotel. The water danced up from the ground, perfectly timed to the music, and Alex was mesmerized.

  When the water show stopped, Alex began scanning the crowds of people. It was then she spotted a man carefully lifting an unattended wallet from a woman's purse. The woman was older, probably in her early-60s, and never noticed the man standing behind her. He slowly lifted the wallet and turned to run, not seeing Alex standing right behind him. She touched his arm and moved out of his way. The man started to sprint down the sidewalk with the woman's wallet under his arm and tripped and fell on his untied shoelace. As he fell, Alex gave him a smug look, picked up the wallet and handed it back to the dumbstruck woman. Then she walked back to join Miranda.

  The two women walked away from the Bellagio and took in the sights. Alex was having the time of her life until she came across an old homeless woman sitting on the edge of the sidewalk crying. Passersby were having to walk around the woman, and many were muttering obscenities under their breath, obscenities clearly directed toward her. Alex walked up to the older woman and crouched down. “Are you okay? Is there anything we can do to help?”

  The woman looked up with tears streaming down her face. She had long, stringy gray hair and deep lines on her face. “My best friend died early this morning. He was here one minute, gone the next—hit by a car right here. He was all I had. I miss him.” She put her face in her hands and wept.

  “I'm so sorry for your loss,” Alex said as her own tears threatened to fall. She stood up and looked at the crowd of people walking toward her on the sidewalk. She chose a man dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, and walked by him, brushing his arm. The man walked over to the homeless woman and took out his wallet. “When was the last time you had something to eat?”

  The woman looked up, “The day before yesterday, I think.”

  The man smiled, pulled out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to her. “That should be enough to get you a couple of hot meals. Take care of yourself.” With that, he walked away. The woman looked up toward Miranda and Alex and gave a weak smile as the mother and daughter walked away.

  7

  A FEW WEEKS had passed since Alex had become Karma and she was catching on to the nuances of the job very nicely. She learned that subtlety was important when dishing out Karma and came to understand how her actions not only affected those who felt her touch, but others as well. Miranda was ready to let her go out on her own and told Alex the rest of what she needed to know. The mother and daughter sat down in Miranda's room - the same room Alex woke up in after she was brought back to life. Alex never let on that she had become obsessed with those who had hurt her. Jeremy, her father, and Ryan never left her thoughts.

  “It's time I sent you away to accomplish great things.”

  Alex looked at her mother with sadness in her eyes. “Will I ever see you again?”

  “Perhaps someday. But for now, you have to go out and do good in the world. It's people like you who make the world a better place for everyone. You know what you're doing and as long as you follow the rules, you'll be fine.”

  Alex had one final question for her mother. “I remember the rules, but you never told me what happens if I break one.”

  Miranda's face was more serious than Alex had ever seen it. “You'll die and there's nothing I can do to bring you back. Your sins are weighed and your soul either travels to Heaven or Hell, just like everyone else who dies. However, your actions as Karma weigh more heavily than your actions as a mortal, so be very careful how you use your powers. Continue doing good work by punishing those who deserve to be punished and rewarding those who haven't received enough in their lives, and you can live on as Karma for as long as you want.”

  Alex processed Miranda's words. She knew she hadn't lived a bad life as a mortal and that the circumstances surrounding her short life were brought on by the actions of others, not by her choices, but she didn't know if she'd end up in Heaven or Hell.

  Miranda continued. “There is no governing body that will be watching you day and night. I only choose good people for this position and although I do pop in from time to time, I trust you to always do the right thing. Your actions thus far have told me my trust has not been misplaced.”

  Alex smiled, but inside she saw an opportunity within her grasp. “I won't let you down and I hope to see you again soon. I can't help but feel like I'm losing my mother all over again.” As she spoke, she glanced down at Miranda's leg. Her flowing white skirt rode up just enough for Alex to see the birthmark on her mother's leg—the same dark, round birthmark Alex had on her own leg. It made her sad to think she'd only just gotten to know her mother, and now it was time to say goodbye.

  Miranda hugged Alex. “Always do what you know is right. I love you, my sweet girl.”

  Tears sprang from Alex's eyes. “I hated you when I was growing up. I could never figure out why you would leave your child behind. Now that I know why you did what you did, I understand it and I forgive you. I love you too...Mom.”

  The women hugged again and when they separated, Miranda closed her eyes and slowly faded from existence. Alex dried her eyes and thought about what to do next. Since she'd discovered her power and its limitations, there was something she'd always wanted to do. She closed her eyes and pictured herself back at Jeremy's house and soon, she appeared outside the front door. Alex wasn't afraid of being seen outside the house since Jeremy rarely ventured outside during the day.

  Her stomach turned and her nerves threatened to make her leave the home, but she steeled her resolve and walked away from the house, standing behind a large oak tree. She waited and watched.

  As the sun went down, clients began entering the house.

  Some things never change.

  She watched for a while longer and eventually, Jeremy appeared. He was talking on his cell phone, yelling something Alex couldn't make out. The urge to hurt him, to make him pay for what he'd done to her and what he continued doing to the other girls in this house was so strong, it took every ounce of willpower she had to fight it off. Having seen what she needed to see, she closed her eyes and traveled to her next destination.

  Alex opened her eyes and was standing in her old bedroom—the bedroom she'd run away from three years before. She heard the TV on in another room and wondered if her dad was awake or passed out from alcohol somewhere in the house. Alex looked around her room, noticing that nothing had changed. Her laptop sat on the floor next to her bed, which was still unmade, and surprisingly, her dad hadn't touched a thing in over three years, and she wondered if he held out hope that someday she might return. She had
returned, but this time, things would be very different. This time, she was in control.

  She quietly opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, taking a right turn toward her dad's bedroom. She wasn't expecting him to walk out of the room at the exact time she closed her bedroom door. Her dad stopped and stared at her with his mouth open. Alex smiled.

  “Hi, Daddy. I'm home. Surprised to see me?”

  Her dad stood in the hallway, trying to find his words.

  “Alex?”

  “Yep, it's me. I came back to see how you are. Did you miss your little girl? The one you fucked every night? The little girl who was terrified the second you opened the front door after work?”

  Her dad stared at the floor. “Alex, I'm sorry. That wasn't me. That was the booze. I didn't handle things well after your mother left and I...well, I'm clean now. I haven't had a drink in four months. And...I've found Jesus. I've been saved.”

  Alex laughed. Her anger was palpable, but instead of breaking the rules, she sneered as she said, “I'm glad you found Jesus, because when I come back, you're gonna need him.” With that, she walked down the hall and out the front door, letting it slam behind her.

  She was livid when she left the house. She walked across the street, out of sight of her father who stood on the doorstep calling her name. She kept walking, trying to control her rapidly increasing heartbeat, trying to resist the urge to go back to the house and kill him. The need for revenge was growing by the second, but she swallowed it deep down inside her. She had one more person to look in on.

  Alex closed her eyes and remembered the inside of the warehouse where she drew her final breath. She pictured Ryan's face and soon, she was standing outside the building, despite not knowing where it was. The warehouse was surrounded by woodlands, so she had no trouble locating a suitable place to hide. After what seemed like hours, Ryan pulled up in his black SUV.

  Ryan got out and looked around and when he was satisfied he was alone, opened the passenger door. A short, heavyset man slumped over and Ryan caught him right before he fell from the vehicle. Alex's first thought was that if she acted fast enough, she could save this man's life, but the rules of her position held her back. Besides, she wasn't ready yet. Even with the hatred she felt for the three most prominent men in her life, she still didn't like the thought of dying and possibly going to Hell. Alex watched Ryan struggle to carry the stocky man into the warehouse, closing the door behind him. It was then she knew what she needed to do. She closed her eyes and when she opened them, found herself back in Miranda's room. She knew her mother wouldn't be there, but she needed a quiet place to calm down and collect her thoughts, and she couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be. She pulled the chair out of the corner and sat down, closing her eyes. She loved the self-pity that washed over her and allowed it to fuel her anger. Although she came here to gather her thoughts, her hatred had other ideas.